Last time on Total Drama: Revenge of the Island! We had our campers pay a visit to the local scrapyard! There they had to build a shelter out of whatever they could find. The Rats built a treehouse. The Maggots couldn't decide what to build so they built TWO designs, only to have one fall on top of the other thanks to some accidentally-on-purpose meddling by Scott. In the end, it was Leonard who had to pack up his potions and leave. Who will follow in his loser-stained footsteps? Find out right here on Total! Drama! Revenge of the Island!

Intro plays.

Dawn hangs upside down from her bunk bed and appears to be conversing with a bird tweeting loudly on the windowsill. "Really? Oh, no!"

Dakota, annoyed, covers her head with her pillow to block out the noise. "Will you keep it down? If I don't get my beauty sleep, I'll lose it!"

"Yes, because your need for fame is really a depressed cry for love."

"Who told you that? My therapist?"

"I see people's auras. And it looks like someone threw up on yours..."

Scott rummages through the forest, looking in bushes, trees, and under rocks.

SCOTT CONFESSIONAL: I need that Immunity Idol. As far as I know, no one has found it yet. If I want my strategy to work I have to have it!

Scott rummages through a bush. His hands grab onto something. "What the-". He pulls out a deformed, mutated chipmunk. The chipmunk hisses and spits up some acidic substance which hits the ground and sizzles. Scott reacts in disgust and horror and throws the chipmunk away. It hops off.

Scott hears some chatter and laughing somewhere else nearby. He sneaks up and finds Shawn and Jasmine, walking through the forest, talking casually. "What have we here…" Scott whispers to himself while smirking deviously.

Back at the camp, a group of girls are all lined up outside of the bathroom. Sugar walks up. "What're you all standin' around for?"

"Anne Maria's been in there for a terribly long time, and won't let any of us in!" Ella responds.

"Annie Marie?" Sugar butchers Anne Maria's name, but it is unclear if this was on purpose or not. "I hate that little harlot!" Sugar walks toward the door.

"Sugar, it's locked," Zoey informs.

Sugar kicks the door down with ease. "Ay! Back off!" Anne Maria shouts. The sound of fighting and loud crashing erupts as the girls waiting outside wince.

"This place is so stupid," Jo hangs her head in angry frustration.

"I'm going to see if any other bathrooms are available," says Sky. She walks off. As she walks across the campground, Dave comes out from behind a building.

"Oh, hey! Sky!"

"Oh, hi Dave, what's up?"

"Not much, just, you know, hanging. Chilling," He gives an awkward grin. "What are you doing?"

"I'm looking for a bathroom."

"...Oh. That's cool. I mean, that's not cool. Because, like, it's a bathroom. And bathrooms aren't…uh, you know."

"What?"

"Yeah."

They stand and stare at each other for an uncomfortable amount of time.

SKY CONFESSIONAL: It's pretty obvious that Dave has some sort of thing for me. The past couple days he keeps trying to initiate conversation with me but he's just so… You know, he's trying. But I need to focus on the game. I'm not interested.

DAVE CONFESSIONAL: I've been keeping tabs on Sky for a while. She seems like a cool girl. Much better than everyone else on our team. I just need to break through to her somehow. But I know I'm on the right track!

Scott walks into the Rats' men's cabin. Lightning, Sam, Rodney, Topher, and B are inside. Sam is playing a game on his handheld console. "Why won't my mana recharge, bro?"

"Guess who I just saw working with the other team?" Scott says.

"Uhh, I don't know, man," Sam replies, not completely interested.

"Jasmine. She was in the forest talking to someone on the other team!"

"Jasmine? Isn't she, like, our best player?" Topher says.

"Sha-what? The best player is clearly THE LIGHTNING!" Lightning seems more incredulous at the claim that he isn't the best player than at Jasmine allegedly being a traitor.

"What was she saying?" Rodney asks.

"I couldn't quite make it out. But I doubt it was anything good."

Sam seems doubtful. "I don't know, man. She's done so much for the team, why would she betray us? She helped us win that challenge last time."

"I won the last challenge! Me!" Scott asserts.

B looks like he's about to object to this, as he was the one who built the structure. But as he's opening his mouth, Lightning speaks instead. "She probably doesn't trust us because she thinks we're too weak! Other than me, of course. And I'd have to agree!"

"Weak?" says Rodney.

"We lost two of the last three challenges. Lightning isn't used to losing, so clearly it's this team!"

"Lightning's right. We have too much dead weight," Topher says.

"You wouldn't happen to be referring to anyone in this room, would you?" asks Rodney.

A silence follows, other than Sam's game console which plays a defeated 8-bit tune. "Aw man, game over."

"Well, I guess the first one of the girls that comes to mind is Dakota," says Topher.

Sam seems hurt by this. "Dakota? Really?"

Topher is quick to reply. "She's about as strong as a six-year-old and twice as dumb. She's so vain!"

"Look who's talking," Scott snips.

"Hey! At least I have reason to be conscious about my looks! I'm going to be a host just like Chris someday."

"Come on guys, Dakota isn't that bad, right?" Sam waits for a reply. "Right?"

SAM CONFESSIONAL: Look, I know Dakota is completely out of my league but if I can just stand up for her a bit maybe she'll notice me. But we're both probably the weakest on our team, so if someone from our team has to go, it might be one of us two!

Chris stands outside of the cabins, puts some earplugs in, and checks his watch. "Ok… right… about… NOW!" Chris sounds an airhorn. It rips through the silence and startles everything within a mile radius. Birds can be seen flying away in the sky, fleeing the loud sound.

The contestants run out of their cabins, a mix of irritation and apprehension on their faces. "Morning, campers!" Chris grins.

"Hey Chris, what gives?" Shawn says. "Most of us haven't even had breakfast yet."

"Lightning needs his DPA!" Lightning cries.

The people around him seem confused at what a DPA is. "Your what?" Samey asks.

"Daily protein allotment. Duh," Lighting answers, as if it was obvious.

"And I haven't had enough beauty sleep!" Dakota complains, while wearing reflective sunglasses.

Sam tries to comfort Dakota. "Come on, you look-" Dakota takes her glasses off, revealing her bloodshot, baggy eyes. "-GREAT SONS OF ORION!"

"There's no time for things like sleeping, or breakfast," Chris jeers. "Besides, who would want to eat any of that crap Chef cooks anyway?" Chef is sitting in the Jeep behind Chris. He scowls angrily at the host. "Besides, the winner of this challenge is going to get a reward! ACTUAL food!" Chris goes to the trunk of the Jeep and opens it. He pulls out a stack of large pizza boxes. "Check it out! Pizza!" Chris grabs a slice and takes a bite out of it. The cheese slides off and lands on his shirt. "Ugh. Wardrobe! I need a new shirt!" Chris frowns in disgust at the food spill on his clothing.

"But what's the challenge?" Mike asks, slightly impatient.

"The challenge is to shut it and give me a second," An intern hands Chris an identical but clean shirt, which he puts on. The challenge is a good old-fashioned PAINTBALL FIGHT! Follow me."

The contestants walk through the forest. "This will be just like shooting kitchen rats with my pappy," Scott proclaims.

"Just because you weren't held enough as a child doesn't mean you need to take it out on helpless animals," Dawn condemns.

"Held enough? What? I…" Scott becomes speechless.

"It's merely speculation," Scarlett interjects. "Mere pseudoscience based on basic observation in an attempt to undermine confidence." Dawn scowls at Scarlett.

DAWN CONFESSIONAL: Oh, ever since I got here, I felt something upsetting about Scarlett's aura. She's so cold and distant. There's something unsettling about the emanations of energy that surround her.

"We've got a soldier on our team, this should be easy!" Sugar declares, referring to Brick.

"Well, handling a firearm is no laughing matter. You have to be responsible. You have to understand proper firearm safety as well as-" Brick is interrupted by a paintball hitting his arm. "Ow!"

Chris is revealed to be holding the paintball gun which fired the shot. "Gotcha!" The campers look around and realize they have arrived at the challenge area.

"Welcome to your challenge!" Chris says. He gestures to two large wooden racks - one with red paintball guns, and one with green paintball guns. "The challenge is simple. You have 5 minutes to arm yourselves and hide in the woods. Once that five minutes is up, you can start hunting for and shooting the other team. If you get hit, you're out, so come back here. The team with the most players left after the hour is up wins immunity."

"Aren't the teams uneven? Shouldn't someone have to sit out?" Rodney asks.

"As of the Maggots' first elimination, no, both teams have twelve players," Chris explains. "Now, let's get this challenge started! When I say go, arm yourselves and find a good hiding spot! Three…two…one…GO!"

The contestants scramble toward the guns and pull them off the rack. Samey grabs one and Amy pulls it out of her hands and snaps, "I want that one! It's mine!"

"Amy, all the guns are the same. It doesn't matter."

"Yeah, but yours looks better."

"Whatever, I'm not having this argument." Samey grabs a different gun.

"I want THAT one!"

"Oh, come ON!"

All the guns are eventually grabbed off their rack and the contestants clear out.

"We should all split up. That way it will be harder for the other team to capture us all at once," Sky says.

"Sky's right! We should do what she says!" Dave desperately affirms. "I can go with her."

"No, Dave, I mean all of us split up individually. Not in small groups."

"Oh. Yeah. That's smart, too. Great plan."

As the team breaks up, Brick tries to help out his fellow team members. "Ella, you're holding your gun all wrong. You shouldn't have your finger on the trigger unless you are right about to shoot. Otherwise you could accidentally-" Ella's gun unintentionally goes off after Ella's finger twitches. The paintball hits Brick in the face. Brick cries out in pain.

"Oh my, I… really didn't mean that," Ella apologizes.

If you get hit by your own team's paintball, it still counts!" Chris announces over the speakers. Brick salutes Ella awkwardly before walking dejectedly back to the starting point.

Meanwhile, the Rats seem to have split off into small groups. One of these groups is Rodney, Lightning, Scarlett, and Amy.

Rodney looks at Amy longingly. Amy notices this and her face contorts in contempt. "What are YOU looking at?"

"It's just… when I… when the… when the world… and, like, when there's feeling in the air, and-"

"Shut up!" Lightning interrupts. "You're gonna get Lightning caught with all your blabbering."

A strange hissing sound starts coming from behind a nearby tree.

"What's that noise?" Rodney asks.

"It's probably, like, a radioactive snake or something," Amy shudders.

"Lightning's on a team with a bunch of cowards! Let me see this!" Lightning strides obstinately towards the source of the sound. He rounds the trunk and finds the source of the noise to be Anne Maria coating her hair with hairspray.

Lightning casually hits her with a paintball. Anne Maria yelps. "Hey! Watch the hair!"

Lightning turns back to Rodney, Scarlett, and Amy. "See! Completely harmless! It's just, uh… what's your name again?" Anne Maria throws her spraycan at Lightning and it hits him in the head, taking him to the ground.

Sam, Dakota, and Scott walk through the forest. Sam plays on his portable game player, while Dakota texts on her phone. Scott seems disinterested.

"You know, Dakota, we're kind of similar. We're both addicted to our screens, heh heh," Sam observes.

Dakota is offended at the idea she is similar to Sam. "We're similar? How could you say such a thing?"

Sam tries to save face. "No, no! I just meant we both use technology a lot. Trust me, other than that, we have nothing in common."

Dakota pauses, registering this. She finally realizes the self-deprecation was meant as a compliment. "Aww, thanks!"

SCOTT CONFESSIONAL: Being stuck with Sam and Dakota has to be the lamest thing ever. Dakota has an ego the size of my pappy's prize hog on the farm, and Sam is about as fat as it. If we lose this challenge, one of them is bound to get sent home. Now all we have to do is actually lose…

Scott begins to purposefully cough loudly and repeatedly.

"Scott, are you okay?" Sam asks.

"Yeah, just… allergies. yeah."

"Well, try to keep it down. I don't want to get caught."

Dave charges out into the clearing and points his gun at the three Rats. "FREEZE!"

Sam, Dakota, and Dave stare blankly at Dave. Sam nonchalantly fires a paintball into Dave's thigh.

"You don't have to yell 'freeze', you could have just shot us, heh heh," Sam chuckles.

DAVE CONFESSIONAL: I'm so stupid! Why did I yell 'freeze'? I should have just shot them! This is so embarrassing. My only hope is that Sky wasn't watching…

Before Dave can start walking back to the challenge start area, three paintballs rain down from a tree and hit Sam, Dakota, and Scott.

"Ow, where did that come from?!" Scott seethes.

"Gotcha!" A voice comes from the trees. It was Sky, hiding in the canopy like a sniper.

DAVE CONFESSIONAL: Of course Sky was watching. Just my luck. Ugh…

Jo walks through the forest by herself. She checks around the clearing and then slowly backs into a tree. Instead of backing into the tree's trump, however, she bumps into SHawn perfectly painted to camouflage right in with the tree.

"What the… Shawn?"

"Shh! I'm camouflaging."

"Is that paint? How did you even get that?"

"I ran back to the cabins to get my camo paint. Also I got something to mask my scent."

"Mask your scent? What does that…" Jo sniffs. "...ew!" Jo realizes Shawn has most likely covered parts of himself in some sort of animal urine. "We're being hunted by humans, not other animals, Apocalypse Nut."

JO CONFESSIONAL: Zombie Boy might be good in challenges but he's too much of a loose cannon to ally with. Someone like Brick, though, is about as predictable as they come. Must come from all that regimented army crap.

Rodney, Amy, and Lightning continue patrolling the forest. Lightning's left eye is swollen from where Anne Maria struck him.

Rodney wants to initialize another conversation with Amy and tries to speak up. "Uh, I just want to say that-"

"Save it, hoser," Amy snaps. Her tone shifts. "Where do you guys think Samey is?"

"Why do you care?" Lightning asks. "All you ever do is rag on her."

"I just want to know if she's been eliminated already. She probably has."

Scarlett rubs her chin in thought.

SCARLETT CONFESSIONAL: Amy seems to feel directionless and purposeless without her sister to bully. Samey seems to be the main thing occupying her mind. Despite their animosity, it turns out Amy is dependent on Samey. Her raison d'être, if you will.

"Amy, what's the longest you've ever been without your sister?" Scarlett asks.

"What?" Amy reacts defensively. "I don't know! Probably, like, sometime, uhh…" Amy realizes she can't think of a time they were separated.

"Have you ever conceptualized yourself as an individual, rather than a twin to Samey? Do you think that the strife between you two comes from your own inability to self-actualize?"

"...What?"

Before Amy can grasp Scarlett's psychoanalysis, Cameron jumps into the clearing. He tries to aim at the group but nearly drops his gun. "Uhh… wait!" The gun goes off and hits Lightning in his one uninjured eye.

"Aah! My other eye!"

Rodney shoots Cameron in the gut with a paintball. Cameron's weak physique is flung back several feet. "Ow…"

Topher roams the forest alone with his paintball gun. He hears the distant chatter of conversation. He ducks behind a large rock and sees Mike and Zoey walking down the path. They're talking casually and seem to be enjoying themselves. Topher chuckles haughtily before jumping out from behind the rock.

"Yeah, that reminds me of the time I - What the.." Mike is cut off mid-conversation by Topher. Before he can register what's happening, he and Zoey are covered in a hail of paintballs.

"Haha, eat paint, losers!" Topher cries out triumphantly.

"Agh…" Mike looks down at his paint-soaked shirt. His tone shifts to anger. "What's wrong with you?"

"Dude, I'm just doing the challenge."

"You shot me like 20 times! You only need to do it ONE TIME! Are you DEMENTED? This is going to take AGES to wash out!" Mike's face slowly gets redder and redder as he continues ranting.

"Hey, bro, calm down."

"You jump out of the middle of nowhere SCREAMING and SHOOTING! AND YOU WANT ME TO CALM DOWN?" Mike's voice cracks as he riches the apex of his fury.

Topher raises his hands defensively. "...are you alright?"

Zoey tries to deescalate the situation. "Mike, it's okay. He's just playing the game like us."

Mike breathes heavily. "Whatever." He abruptly walks off, leaving Zoey and Topher confused.

Mike walks past the starting zone where the other paintballed contestants are, separated by team.

"Woah, Mike, you got hit a lot! Ha ha," Chris chuckles. "What happened?"

"I'll be in the cabin," Mike says, his anger slowly morphing into a diffuse frustration and shame.

MIKE CONFESSIONAL: I'm such an idiot. I have a tendency to fly off the handle over really small things. My therapist calls it "Intermittent Explosive Disorder". It's so embarrassing… in front of Zoey, too, and on TV! I don't know how I can live this down…

ZOEY CONFESSIONAL: What on earth just happened? Mike seemed like such a calm and sensitive guy, but he just went ballistic over nothing. I don't know what to make of this because it seems so out of character for him!

B walks through the forest and sees a suspiciously large bush that could easily hide someone. He approaches it and slowly raises his gun. From the bush comes a fearsome growl full of irascible fervor. B's face shifts to alarm and runs from the area, panicked. After he leaves, Beardo peaks out from behind the bush, revealing himself to be the creator of the terrifying noise. He laughs to himself. "Got 'em." Suddenly he feels a sharp pain in the back of his neck. "Ah!" He turns around to see Jasmine with her gun raised. She had shot him with a paintball when he got up.

"You think a growl like that can scare ME?" Jasmine teases. "I've got to deal with animals ten times as bad as THAT down under."

"So, anyways, that's basically how our hog ruined my little brother's 6th birthday," Rodney wraps up some off-color account about farm life to Amy and Scarlett.

"That's the worst story I've ever heard. Disgusting," Amy replies nastily.

"Yeah, you're right. You're so right. That's so true."

A rally of paintballs comes from behind them. Amy, Scarlett, and Rodney all duck for cover as they are besieged by red paint.

"Got 'em!" Jo declares triumphantly. "Wait a minute, what?"

Dute to Rodney's large build, all of the paintballs hit him while Scarlett and Amy hid behind him. Rodney mumbles something incoherent before collapsing. Scarlett reacts quickly and fires a paintball that hits Jo square in the gut. She doubles over. Scarlett smirks devilishly.

Jo and Rodney walk back to the start where Chris is. Jo notices that the bench with the eliminated Maggots is way fuller than the Rats one. "Hey, why do we have so many people out? Who's even left?"

"The Maggots still have Sky, Shawn, Sugar, and Ella," Chris answers. "The Rats still have Amy, Samey, Topher, Dawn, Scarlett, Jasmine, and B. So it's four to seven. Only ten minutes left, too. Not looking good for the Maggots."

"What happened?" Jo demands to her teammates, frustrated.

"Ella shot me. By accident," Brick replies.

"And she's still out there? How? She can't even work a gun correctly."

Ella nervously walks through the forest before coming to a clearing. In the clearing, Dawn is sitting cross-legged and serenely, with eyes closed, likely meditating. Ella tries to raise her gun but hesitates. "I… can't. She seems so peaceful, it's just wrong!"

Sugar appears suddenly behind Ella. "Quit yer pity!" Sugar raises her gun and hits Dawn in the forehead without hesitation. Dawn barely flinches.

Ella is shocked by this lack of inhibition. "Oh my."

"Yer so bad at this!" Sugar criticizes. "I've been following you for the past five minutes and you didn't even notice!"

"I'm just not used to… violence."

"Violence? It's PAINT! On the farm we would shoot cans with BB guns nearly every night! This is nuthin'!" Sugar looks at how Ella is holding her gun. She's holding it fearfully with one hand, far apart from her, like she was holding a piece of putrid trash. "Yer holding it ALL WRONG. Hold it like me!" Sugar demonstrates by holding her gun in a threatening position.

"But Brick told me not to put my finger on the trigger guard unless I intend to discharge my firearm."

"What does he know? He's just some army guy."

"Um."

"Yeah, look like you're ready to shoot some varmint."

"Okay…"

Ella tries to hold her gun like Sugar but as soon as her finger gets near the trigger guard her finger flinches and she fires it again. The paintball sails deep into the forest.

Ella looks embarrassed. Sugar shrugs it off. "Huh. Who knows where THAT went."

B is patrolling through the forest when a paintball hits him in the side. His face winds up in exasperation at the unfairness of being hit by a paintball when there's no one even around.

Scarlett and Amy amble down the forest path, careful to remain out of sight. This doesn't entirely work, though, as Jasmine spots them and comes up from behind.

"Hey you guys. You find anyone?"

"Woah! Watch it!" Amy exclaims angrily. "You scared me."

All three are suddenly hit with paintballs.

"Hah! Sweet!" Shawn emerges, still covered in tree camo paint.

Jasmine's frustration quickly shifts to admiration. "Camouflage? Well-played!"

"Thanks," Shawn replies sheepishly.

They are interrupted by an announcement. "The hour is UP! All remaining players return to the start where we can tally up the score."

At the starting line, Chirs assesses the campers, many sporting some sort of green or red paint splotch.

"Well, the Rats had two players left. Samey and Topher." Samey gives a proud look to Amy, who returns the gaze with a sneer. "But the Maggots had FOUR players left - Shawn, Sky, Sugar, and Ella. So the Mutant Maggots WIN!"

The Maggots cheer.

Chris turns to the losing team. "Toxic Rats, see you at the campfire ceremony. One of you will be receiving the dreaded toxic marshmallow."

The warm, welcoming glow of the campfire offers a searing contrast to the nervousness of the 12 remaining Toxic Rats.

"Rats. This is your third elimination in four episodes. What's going on?"

"Lightning's on a team of LOSERS!" Lightning explains, as if it was obvious. He's wearing an eyepatch over the eye that was hit by a paintball, and his other eye is still slightly swollen.

"Alright, marshmallows go to those who are safe. If you receive the toxic marshmallow, you cannot return. Ever. First marshmallow goes to… Topher."

Topher catches his marshmallow. Chris continues. "Also safe is the other challenge survivor Samey."

"Next ones safe are… B…

…Dawn…

…Jasmine…

…Scarlett…

…Lightning…

…Rodney…

…and Scott."

The bottom three, Sam, Dakota, and Amy, sit nervously.

"The next marshmallow goes to… Sam."

Sam receives his marshmallow but still looks nervous for Dakota's sake.

"And the final marshmallow goes to…"

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"...Amy."

"Took you LONG ENOUGH!" Amy says angrily.

"Dakota. Time to leave this dingy radioactive summer camp and return to your palatial mansion in Beverly Hills. What a shame. Really."

"Well, at least I was on TV." Dakota seems to be taking it surprisingly well.

"Dakota! I didn't vote for you." Sam emphasizes his loyalty.

"Um, okay? Thanks? I didn't want to stay around this dump anyway."

Sam sighs. "Why does love have to be so complicated?" he laments.

Dakota stands on the Dock of Shame and whips out a cell phone. "Hey Daddy, it turns out I'll be coming home sooner than we thought. Make sure to-" Dakota gets sprayed down by a hose. "HEY! What was that for?"

"Detox of Shame!" Chris grins. "Brutal, isn't it. But not as brutal as someone's DNA getting turned into soup, if you know what I mean."

Chef shoves the soaking wet Dakota into the back of the Boat of Losers.

"I'm not supposed to get this top wet, you know!" Dakota cries out as the boat departs.

"Wow. It's touching how the contestants genuinely think I care about them. Touching and deluded. Who will leave this wretched island next? And who will get one step closer to one million dollars? Find out right here on Total! Drama! Revenge of the Island!"