Two years ago - Four days before graduation

It was a taxing three weeks for the senior students. On top of their last assessment to defend research papers, some of them still needed to submit other assessments on other classes.

The cherry on top, that could snap their sanity like twigs, were the very final exams they would have for the last time in YMH.

Tears of frustration were shed when students received particularly cruel criticism from the panellists. A sure sign they had to re-defend the paper.

While tears of joy were cried by others after they successfully finished their defence; regardless if they did it in one take or after three takes.

It did not matter how smooth or rough the road each of them took. What mattered the most was the successful finish of the defence and the guaranteed ticket for graduation.

With good news announced by their homeroom teacher, all of the senior students were guaranteed to wear the school's uniquely designed toga and climb the stage to receive their certificates.

And so there was only one thing left to embark on the new journey that was eleventh and twelfth grade: Attend the graduation.

But they had to overcome the very last hurdle that prevented them straight into it.

Part of the school's tradition, since they were unable to upgrade and provide the last two years of schooling, was to organise an extravagant and formal ceremony for their tenth grade students.

It was to commemorate the senior members in the whole school body. Together as a marketing tactic to inspire the younger students to stay for their high school years.

The formality and magical experience no other school could provide on end-of-year ceremonies like these came with a price for the senior students.

Expensive fees and rehearsals.

The booming voice of one of the senior teachers that led the rehearsals echoed throughout the gymnasium as the rehearsal venue.

The wide platform was a close substitute for the stage at the actual venue. The sound system, with its connected microphone and related equipment, was optimal for the background music that would be used in the real event.

It also came in handy to communicate with the dozens of senior students in case they become unbearable.

Rehearsals reached half-way. It was Friday and after the weekend, their one last rehearsal was on Monday; with Tuesday being their graduation.

So it was natural that the redundancy dusted off the once enthusiastic and fun attitude of the seniors from the first few days of rehearsals. Now they only wished for every second of it to stop.

An endless loop of protocol must be ingrained in their brains. The seating arrangements they currently had in the gymnasium would be the exact arrangement on graduation. For the seniors, it was crucial to know who were each other's seatmates and on what row they were in.

It was key to know the cues for when to stand up. The students involved in the opening remarks in the first half of the program must know when to climb the stage and leave right after. Everyone else needed to line up through alphabetical order of their last names and climb on the stage.

There was the formality to be aware of: which hand to use for the handshake with the principal, who would give their certificates on stage, and which to receive the certificate (left hand for handshake, right hand for certificate).

Boys must bow from their waist and girls must curtsy. Some girls attempted to defy the protocol and got a mouthful from the speakers. The boys who did the curtsy got much more of it.

"Mitzy! You do not bow! Come on, you won't get injured if you do the curtsy!" The mentioned girl grumbled in annoyance as she climbed down.

"YUMA! YOU DO NOT CURTSY!" The teacher roared on her microphone, which caused some to flinch due to the sharp feedback that pierced some ears within the vicinity.

"Oh you two siblings have been a handful since primary school!" Their ever serious senior teacher who led the rehearsals scolded Yuma in the microphone. A vein from the overstretched muscle showed on her temple.

It only enhanced the howls of laughter of Yuuma's classmates in the audience. This was after his attempt in the curtsy and he smiled mischievously at his classmates.

Then there were the awards ceremony that their seating arrangement was based on; through ascending order based on the number of rewards.

The last few rows of students at the back were the first to stand up and line up to climb on the stage. After that, it was a smooth process like an oiled machine for the next following rows to line up. Until it came to the people in the front.

The remaining students on their seats had to clap as each name was being announced by their senior teacher. After the first few days of rehearsals, she did not bother to mention each and every award, especially for the students at the first two rows.

But for today, the senior teacher was in the mood to waste her saliva. And so she mentioned every single award. It brought internal groans for the students who wanted this part to be finished, and awkward smiles for those who had to stay at the stage for almost a minute.

It was time to begin the dreaded list of multiple awards, starting with the students in the second row. It went on until they reached the students that enabled the 'people with shitton of awards it's a mouthful' part of the ceremony.

The first student to start the phase was Rin, who managed to collect more medals and awards than she had expected this year. She was not the most decorated student in their class. But she, her friends and her family nonetheless were proud of what she achieved.

During the first few days of rehearsals, the long-winded list of Rin's awards brought out expressions of awe and wide eyes from her peers despite having already seen it on paper.

There was the surprise addition of an unannounced award of the highest honour for their assessment with the research paper. And everyone applauded when it was announced by none other than their very own teacher that organised the yearly assessment.

For the first time, the award was made and Rin was its first ever recipient. It brought various cheers and claps from her classmates in support. The majority thought she deserved it, not only because of the high quality of her paper but for the camaraderie she showed when she assisted her peers throughout the process.

Nowadays, it resorted to a round of groans and facepalms whenever Rin and three other classmates had to climb the stage on occasions like today; when the senior teacher mentioned all of their commendations.

After Rin climbed on the stage, she stood on the X mark in the middle (as they were all instructed) with the obligatory round of applause from the audience. One of the senior teachers acted as the principal and repeatedly mimed giving her medals in a loop as every award of hers was mentioned.

The clapping died down as figurative medals were being worn to Rin and only halfway of the list of her awards have only been mentioned so far.

Kaito was not worried to be mindful of his cue to climb on the stage. He finished ages ago. So he only needed to clap.

He sat in the middle rows alongside Nana, a few seats away from his right. Miki was in front of him in the next row. On the right side of the second row were Gumi and Neru who laughed and clutched each other's hands after a joke that was too hilarious for the both of them to handle.

They were seated nearby the siblings Yuma and Mitzy; the usual sight at end of year recognitions. Despite their silly antics and mischievous attitudes, they performed well within and outside academics, including sports as student-athletes (Mitzy) and in vocational courses (Yuma).

Then there were the decorated students in the first row of seats. A very few people included Galaco, Lily, and Rin who had her seat unoccupied as she was currently on the stage.

Kaito was still bothered at his realisation a few weeks ago. He was only able to think of it again after he finished his defence and the other requirements for graduation. The thought still continued to taunt him.

Damn it, Len. You're too late if you want to get back with Rin. Kaito tried his best not to grind his teeth in frustration. We're leaving next week. Why only now?

He risked a glance to Len, who sat beside Miki. It was a miracle he finished his defence in one take, which did not go unnoticed by their classmates. Most of them thought it was 'divine intervention', whether they were serious or not. Hence it was a miracle he sat with them at rehearsals today.

Len usually clapped as required but stared straight to empty space. But right now, his head was towards the stage and gazed at Rin who stood on the stage.

Len's eyes were focused on the sight before him. That was the gaze of a man who fell once more.

He would deny it for a certain period. Until he rationalised it, accepted it and admitted it soon. Kaito knew his old mate and his predictable behaviour.

At the least, let her know about it before we separate. Kaito had not noticed the last person, their most decorated classmate, was now seated in his row and the practice for the awards ceremony finally concluded.

The senior teachers currently operated something with the sound system, so the practice program was temporarily paused. Until then, it gave time for the students to pass time so they chatted amongst themselves.

Kaito could see from his seat that the people at the first few front rows had fun. All of them, including Neru, Gumi and Lily, laughed out loud and clutched their guts.

It was only Rin, with her face flushed and scrunched with what seemed to be embarrassment, gesturing at a laughing Yuma. Her palms rapidly shook towards him.

"Oh my god I'm so sorry Yuma! I swear what I said wasn't meant to be towards you! I wasn't aware that you were the one talking and it was by chance I just said what's randomly on my mind out loud!"

Rin's apologies seemed to be left unheard with Yuma being one of the people who roared in laughter alongside his sister Mitzy and his mate Kiyoteru. The rest of their rows chuckled and laughed along.

"Oh my god Rin you just roasted Yuma! Don't deny it anymore, we know you actually meant it!" Gumi wiped a tear from her eye as she clutched her stomach from all the laughter she did.

After a few minutes, they all calmed down and went back to their own conversations. Lily and Rin caught each other in a conversation.

From Kaito's seat, he saw the left side of Rin's face as she smiled at what Lily said.

Len stared ahead towards their classmates in the front rows. But the look on his eyes indicated there was more to it than just watching their previous laughing episode.

Kaito took a look at Neru, who was on the farthest right side of the second row with Gumi. But Len's head was in the opposite direction; on the left side of the seats were him and Miki on the second row. Lily and Rin were in front of them. Which meant…

He's not really looking at Neru nor anyone else. He's staring at Rin.

Kaito, despite not having eaten or drank anything since rehearsals started, gulped to handle the worrisome feeling he had.

This is not a bluff. Len is actually falling for Rin.

Damn it, why only now!? Kaito cursed in his mind, and stared at the scene of Len watching Rin smile at her friends.

Rehearsals finished in the early afternoon to the joy of the senior students. They were dismissed a few hours earlier than the usual school day.

Most of them went on to spend the day longer with each other in the nearby shopping district or somewhere near for lunch. The rest were finally happy to be on the way home.

Kaito was supposed to be amongst the latter half. Until Len suddenly ran from behind him and grabbed his shoulder.

"Kai, you wanna head to the arcade? They have the new Project Diva game!"

That changed Kaito's mind a few seconds before he was meant to reject Len's invitation. It was not really the only reason he agreed to tag along.

It was a rare occurrence that Len hung out outside school, more so to invite people. It may have been the reason why he was rarely invited by anyone in their class, with his lack of affirmation and his inactive presence in group conversations.

Len threw tantrums behind the backs of the peers who had a distaste for him. Because of that, it only made them convinced of their opinion of him. And Kaito felt helpless after countless efforts to convince them otherwise.

And so Len's trust issues only perpetuated in a cruel cycle. Kaito sympathised with him and wanted to help. But he knew it was out of his control and only hoped this part of his friend would improve soon before they graduated and separated.

They walked out of the school grounds together in comfortable silence. Kaito felt Len held back something, with his occupied gaze and the slight frown on his face. The two friends chatted about their plans after graduation, and what they felt with everything that happened these days.

Len's parents were proud of him for finishing tenth grade. They celebrated the single medal in his name for the first time. So his parents planned a family trip after graduation and before he started eleventh grade in a distant high school away from their city.

Kaito's admission to another school farther from their place (a twenty-minute travel via the train) was already confirmed. He was in the process to gather the necessary documents to finalise his admission.

Len felt extremely nervous. Next year, he would attend a school renowned for their priority on the creative arts—hence his main decision to study there. But he anticipated the struggle to adjust in a new environment with new people

Unlike Kaito, Len grew up in YMH from kindergarten with a few of their current classmates including Gumi and Nana. He was always around the same set of faces since childhood. Compared to his once closest friends, Len never had the need to settle himself first after moving to somewhere new.

Now that they all had to separate ways, Len mentally prepared himself on how to adjust and make new friends. He already had a difficult time socially-wise in his current class. With that in mind, he did not really expect much for next year.

They arrived at the arcade. Kaito and Len played against each other on the new Project Diva game they went for. Boisterous laughter, fake arrogant jokes, sworn profanity from mistakes, and groans of frustration were the noises that came from both of them.

When they moved on to another arcade game, Kaito watched Len play against someone behind the other machine. He gave his friends tips and quick instructions during the game, and would swap after.

Kaito admitted he enjoyed this very moment being with Len. He never wanted to be fixated with the past. But today was his reminder of the good times from those days. Today was guaranteed to be a core memory for him.

Eventually, they moved on to a different game. They played beside each other with their own seats and gun-shaped controllers.

Len was more proficient and an expert than his friend. But Kaito catched up and pulled a few tricks and kills to the surprise of his friend. That was when Len began to talk about something outside of the game.

"I've noticed myself looking and thinking of Rin these past few weeks." Len never removed his focus on the screen but had to raise his voice to overcome the loud speakers that blasted the sound effects of their game.

"I don't know why I'm acting like this. Is it because we won't be able to see each other soon? I think all of this could be temporary. I know what people in class think of me and with my attitude. My feelings tend to be fleeting, but I still think it's impossible if I were to have feelings now for her after two years of being on bad terms." Len still shot expertly at all his targets with clean shots and only minimal damage on his character.

"You shouldn't push yourself to have an answer right away." Kaito replied just as he shot a few targets while his character hid behind a wall. "You still have time to think of it even with graduation coming. You really can't force these kinds of things, you know?"

Deep down in his mind, Kaito only hoped Len was right; that what he felt towards Rin was fleeting and he would move on quickly soon. It was a recipe for disaster waiting to happen.

He knew his advice for today would not be a hundred percent heartfelt despite the assuring tone he faked for Len. After all, Kaito prioritised his concern for Rin.

Their game finished. Len's character came first in the ranks. Kaito's was second by only a few margin.

Kaito took a glance on his phone and thought he needed to grab food. "Wanna grab lunch now?"

Len agreed. They grabbed their bags, left the arcade and went to the nearest restaurant that offered affordable meals for students like them.

When they got their food, Len continued their conversation from the arcade.

"Nowadays, I find myself reading back our old messages and remembering what it used to feel like all those years ago. Then there were the impulses I wanted to call her. But I know that'd be a death sentence with Rin's cold demeanour to me."

"You're joking!?" Kaito almost choked on his burger until he managed to control his reflexes. Len expected that response with the continued eye contact.

"Where's all that coming from? I would assume you would have erased your inbox with her messages way back." Kaito continued to ask.

"Why would I? I can't be bothered doing that."

"Rin deleted her chats with you after the first week you dumped her."

Len did not reply. His eyebrows scrunched and shoulders slumped from what was probably shame with Kaito's specific word of 'dumped' and the phrase 'Rin deleted her chats'.

"... I might have actually called her one time."

"What!?" Kaito raised his voice in surprise. "Why would you do that!?"

"I don't know!" Len reciprocated Kaito's raised voice, but in a manner that did not attract the attention from the nearby tables. "That's why I'm asking for help here! It wasn't through her phone though. I called their landline at home."

"And why do you know their landline number? I don't even know her landline." Kaito partially lied. The landline on Rin's house was saved on his phone for emergencies whenever she asked a favour for him to call her parents.

This was before Rin got a new phone in the middle of their high school years. From that point, she wanted all communications to go through it and not on the home landline anymore.

"I told you, I've been reading our past messages and it was there. She gave it to me so we could talk back then. So I managed to stop being a coward and called that number one random day. I was surprised it was still alive even after all these years." Len explained.

"What happened?" Kaito asked.

"Her mother answered. I think she recognised me before she asked who I was. Then she sounded delighted. It felt awkward when she was asking me how I was and how Rin rarely mentioned me anymore."

It was Kaito's turn to visibly be ashamed on behalf of his friend.

Len and Rin met each other's parents when they dated. His parents knew the full extent of their son's relationship, while her parents were kept in the dark. It was never intended on purpose though. Rin was unable to gauge her parents to listen to her and stop doting on Len. It stayed that way even when they broke up and to this day.

Rin never had to explain about the break-up in the first place. She hid the fact she did not cope well, so the pent-up feelings bursted at late-nights.

On the other hand, Len had to deal with his parents who asked for Rin in the first few weeks of the break-up and why she was rarely mentioned. Len danced around with his replies. But his parents already knew the answer.

It was unfortunate to them; they were fond of Rin. Though their doting was toned down compared with Rin's parents towards Len. They saw her as a good choice for their son.

Rin's mother in particular was very fond of Len and almost loved him as her own son; gave him homemade food to bring home whenever he visited. So it was a big mystery to her that her daughter stopped bringing her close friend at their home, or ever mention his name when asked.

The one time she approached Rin on how Len was doing during dinner, her daughter only stared at the dish in front of her, answered that she did not know and asked that she not be asked about him again.

Knowing she would lose the conversation with her stubborn daughter (that she took from herself), Rin's mother had not pestered further.

It took Rin's mother to reach out to Kaito, Lily, and Gumi to know that Rin and Len were simply not on good terms with each other anymore.

But based on Rin's stories, her mother could be a bit harsh whenever she admitted about her struggles. Similar to parents who could not understand their kids lived in a different generation, she dismissed some of Rin's concerns.

It was why Rin had to pretend at home for two years. It also explained why the close calls or actual cases of breakdowns were only at school.

Kaito only sighed.

"I asked her if I could talk to Rin. But I quickly said she can't say it was me. Good thing she didn't make me explain why. I honestly would have bluffed all of it." Len sighed at the memory of when he barely managed to escape the issue.

"I think her mum forgot to put me on hold when she called Rin. I could hear her breathing, her footsteps, and the way the wind was going through the microphone so it made those muffled sounds in my speaker. Then I heard knocking, an opening of a door and her calling out Rin.

"I'm assuming with the movement I heard at the time that Rin was in her room and in the middle of doing something, and then was disturbed by her mum. That's when I heard what Rin was saying. I felt it was towards me even when she wasn't aware I was the one calling her." Len sighed.

Kaito nodded along to indicate his attention to the story.

"I heard her ask her mum on 'who the hell would call her through the landline', that 'all her friends knew to contact her through her phone', which I obviously cannot do. She bet that, I quote, 'Whoever's on that phone only wants to talk to me about some stupid things I can't be bothered with'. Then she told her mum that she wasn't available. It hit me. I was being stupid for no reason." Len simply paused and took a sip from his drink.

"Her mother went back to me. When she actually put me on hold, she must have realised she forgot to put me on hold properly earlier. She was constantly apologising but I assured her that it was nothing. Even when I was indirectly told by Rin that I was stupid enough to call her. She also apologised for Rin's 'rude behaviour'," Len quotted Rin's mother at the end.

"But honestly? If I were in her place, I would have done the same thing—"

"I think you're being biassed, Len. Everyone at one point got annoyed with Rin's lack of effort to engage with everyone else when she's so invested with reading books or whatever she was doing. You can be honest and admit you got annoyed at that moment." Kaito assured him.

"No, I didn't feel that, honestly. And if I did, I'd only have the audacity for it. I thought it was a sign that I shouldn't try again. Thankfully, I didn't end up moping about it that badly. I imagine what if Rin did actually take the call and then knew it was me?" Len gazed below his now empty plate.

"I'm aware of what Rin thinks of me, even before all of these… feelings I'm having right now appeared. She and Neru were sitting on the same table at school. I was sitting nearby but I guess they didn't notice me."

Kaito held himself back, and continued to listen now that his plate was empty.

"I couldn't help but listen. Neru asked her about me and everything that was going on. Rin knew I only used her to forget my feelings for Neru before. I didn't feel anything at the time because she was right. I did it to forget Neru at first until I actually fell for her along the way."

Kaito clenched his fist under the table. This was the first time he heard Len's side of the break-up and the unsavoury details.

"You look disappointed and want to punch me right now. I get it." Len had an awkward, albeit tired, smile.

"If only we were not in public, I would even ask you to. I deserve it. Because right now, I feel guilty. " Len emphasised the word as his gaze moved sideways to avoid Kaito's restraining glare.

"I appreciate you understanding me Kai, despite how much of an asshole I am."

Kaito composed himself. He obviously could not lash out right now. He did not want to be reported for public nuisance.

But things were more clear. Len's 'feelings' were never to be bluffed. It was never fleeting, nor any other thing that Kaito could think of.

"When Rin said she already moved on from me and there was 'no need for her to be concerned' about me, I actually felt bad, until now."

Kaito felt his old friend held back something else. His gut feeling told him to dig deeper for it. But it was not the right time for him to interrogate; both of them were in thin ice.

One thing was now slowly confirmed to Kaito.

Len was on the way to have serious feelings towards Rin.

"I've been thinking when I'm in bed and staring at the ceiling. I actually did Rin dirty all these years. I'm scared that if I end up actually accepting these feelings, I know this would offend her now."

Kaito could not say anything. He sighed and began to think of an appropriate reply.

"I'm honestly glad to hear you're being sensible to all of this. I'm glad, Len. And if everyone, even Rin, turns their back on you, I'll be here to listen. I'm still trying to get back to you after everything."

It was then Len had a sincere smile from his face. "Well, it already happened. But thank you, Kai. I'll let you know if I made up both my mind and my heart."

The two shortly headed back home. It was about to get late and they appreciated the idea of being at home before it was dark outside.

As the warm, orange hues of the sky embraced them in their walk, it gave a comforting feeling to Kaito.

It relieved him that he and Len were on the way to trusting each other once more. He was glad one of the major issues with his best mate slowly resolved before they parted ways soon.

Yet Kaito carried the guilt for being at a crossroads.

He wanted Len to be happy, and so he would support him and Rin to get back together.

But this would be destructive for Rin now that she made peace with everything.

Now that they all would leave very soon, Kaito was now in conflict:

Was it worth it to return what was once abandoned?