- Part 1 -


Arrhythmia


Stepping stones lead me out of the unknown.
I'm waiting for your body here to save me from the cold.
Broken notes of songs we've just begun,
Listening through a paper cup to the muffled sound of love.
-Boyce Avenue


"What's up with Aubrey and Beca?" one of the Bellas asks.

Aubrey keeps her back to them and pretends to be interested in a very sumptuous-looking array of food lined up on the buffet table. If they find it suspicious that she's barely moved from her spot over the last few minutes, they're not letting on. She guesses they're not even paying attention to her – considering they're talking loudly enough behind her back that she can hear them.

"What do you mean?" Chloe asks, keeping her voice low. But Chloe's not very good at whispering.

"They haven't talked to us since we got here," Cynthia-Rose points out.

"They're just having a hard time," Chloe dismisses the accusation. "This week is just really weird for all three of us."

"I can cheer Aubrey up," Fat Amy states. "I met this guy in town and I think he'd be up for a threesome. If she has sex with us, she'll totally forget about you and Beca." She pauses. "I'm pretty good in bed."

"Is he hot?" Stacie asks.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Chloe replies lightly. "It's okay. I can handle Aubrey."

"I don't know how you do it," Jessica comments. Her voice carries a tone of sympathy.

"I barely even got through Bellas practice with her," Ashley adds.

Aubrey tenses the muscles in her shoulder and looks at the white table cloth. They're exaggerating. She shakes her head to herself and rolls her eyes, letting out an exasperated breath.

"She didn't even notice you two were, like, there," Stacie reminds them.

A few of the girls giggle. Chloe isn't one of them.

"How do you live with her?" someone else asks. "It has to be like living with a military officer."

"It's really not," Chloe says, "Living with Aubrey is pretty great, actually. She's really kind and-"

"We are talkin' about the same Aubrey, right?" Cynthia-Rose asks.

Aubrey grinds her teeth and tries to keep herself from turning around and starting something. She's not going to ruin this week for Chloe.

Beca steps up beside her in one long stride. She keeps her head down and grabs a pancake off the stack then pauses and joins Aubrey in staring at the table for what feels like way too long. "Hey," she says after a moment. It's hesitant but serious, like she's not sure how to catch Aubrey's attention even though she's standing right there. She glances up at Aubrey and Aubrey really wishes she would leave. If only there was a chair for her to drag with her out the door.

"I probably...deserve to be ignored," Beca says when she's met with silence. Aubrey can agree with her so far. "Look, Aubrey, I think we need-"

This morning is set on going wrong in every way possible and Aubrey isn't sure she can deal with this day much longer. She's starting to think she must have committed some heinous crime to deserve this. "What do you want, Beca?" she hisses. Didn't they just establish that they were going to stay away from each other? Better yet – wasn't Beca just telling her that she was the reason they couldn't manage to do so? "I am trying to stay on the opposite end of the island from you." Even the opposite end of the world wouldn't be far away enough from Beca Mitchell.

"I know you didn't plant the photograph," Beca jumps straight to the punch, speaking in a low murmur. "I think someone is screwing with us."

Aubrey immediately turns to face her – irritation suddenly long forgotten. She draws in a breath and almost believes her at first. "How do you know it wasn't me?" She needs to make sure Beca isn't just screwing with her. She almost forgot that Beca had mentioned a photograph in her room as well – although when she does remember, all she feels is irked that Beca accused her of placing it there. But did this mean something else happened to Beca as well? Her heart beats a mile a minute at the prospect that someone (even if it is Beca) might understand what's happening. She presses her lips together and swallows then breathes out through her mouth and tries to keep her expression neutral.

Beca lifts her head and the two of them lock eyes – and Aubrey knows immediately that whatever Beca has to say, it's not something that she wants to discuss here. "Can you meet me at the bonfire tonight?" she asks.

Aubrey is surprised by how little consideration she has to give before nodding her head. Their morning at the cliffs seems distant – like it happened a year ago. The rest of the morning still feels too close for comfort.

Beca gives a single nod of confirmation that they'll meet later then points behind her with one hand, the other holding her plate, and takes a step back. "I have to go talk to Chloe about something," she says then presses her lips together so they form a straight line.

Aubrey turns and looks past her at Chloe and the group of Bellas who are still speaking. Judging by their grins and laughter, they're probably not still talking about her.

"Don't listen to them," Beca says out of nowhere.

The statement takes Aubrey aback. She blinks then looks at Beca and wrinkles her forehead. Last night and this morning, Beca probably would have led their gossip mill with her thoughts on Aubrey. Now she's being nice. But whatever her sudden motivation is, it matters less than Aubrey realizing that Beca thinks their words are getting to her. She scoffs and turns up her nose. "I'm not."

"Right," Beca breathes out and drops her hand to her side. She nods again and turns to walk away.

Aubrey shakes her head and turns back to the buffet table. She stares at the food for a moment longer before turning and glancing over her shoulder, listening to hear if they have anything else to say about her.

xxxxx

"That is not all you're eating," Chloe states and looks down at Aubrey's plate as she places two glasses of orange juice of the buffet table. "Look at all this food, Aubrey."

Aubrey blinks and glances at her plate as Chloe returns. She realizes that all she's picked up have been two slices of toast and a packet of strawberry jelly. She's about to tell Chloe she was distracted (though not with what) when Chloe takes her plate out of her hands and begins loading it up with food. "Chloe, I'm not going to eat all that."

"Well, you won't, but I will. Ooh." Chloe grins and leans forward, scooping some scrambled eggs onto Aubrey's plate.

Aubrey rolls her eyes and looks at Chloe's already full plate on the table beside their drinks. Chloe is like some sort of human-vacuum. "You're going to have to go jogging with me tomorrow morning," she points out. "I'm waking you up at eight."

Chloe makes a face of disapproval as she places a scone she was picking up back down on the plate it came from. "Let's find somewhere to sit." She passes Aubrey's plate back to her.

"For serious, Chloe? You just touched that then put it back down." Aubrey grabs the scone and drops it on her plate as it's shoved into her hand. "That's disgusting. Do you even know how many germs are on your hands?"

Chloe grabs her drink and looks at Aubrey as though she's trying to determine whether or not that question is rhetorical. She draws in a breath as though she's going to say something then bites down on her lower lip and diverts her gaze to the floor. Is she trying to think up an actual number?

"A lot," Aubrey supplies for her in a clipped tone.

"You don't seem to mind," Chloe points out and looks up at her again with a smile.

"I live with you," Aubrey reminds her. "Whatever germs you have, you're going to spread them to me anyway."

Chloe just stares at her and continues smiling.

"Chloe," Aubrey snaps. "You're not even listening."

"I am listening," Chloe argues. Then presumably to prove her point adds, "If I wasn't listening, I wouldn't have heard you tell me I'm not listening."

Aubrey frowns.

"Let's go find empty seats." Chloe turns and looks toward the several round tables set up throughout the room.

Aubrey sighs and grabs her drink off the buffet table. She takes a step forward so she's beside Chloe and glances around. The Bellas and Trebles are spread out among the tables, talking amongst themselves. She doesn't want to sit with Trebles, and she definitely doesn't want to end up stuck at a table with Beca – whether or not they're meeting tonight. "I'm going to eat outside," she comments.

"Okay." Chloe gives the tables one last glance then turns to face Aubrey. She nods. "I'll go too."

Aubrey looks around then makes for the door – Chloe trailing loyally behind her.

xxxxx

Aubrey's muscles ache from falling more than she realized they did. It's not until she's trying to sit down under the shade of a tree in front of the inn and everything feels like it's on fire that she realizes how hard she hit the ground. She guesses that she just didn't have that much time to think about it between then and now. A frown etches itself across her face. She places her plate and glass down on the ground in front of her then uses her hands to help pull her legs into a cross-legged position.

Chloe kneels down across from her and puts her plate down then takes a sip of her juice as she sits back on her heels.

"You know, you didn't have to come out here," Aubrey points out. She pokes at the scrambled eggs that Chloe put on her plate for a moment with a fork before taking a bite of them. Her stomach growls in demand of more before she can even swallow. Eating ice cream for dinner was not at all satisfying. She takes another bite of the eggs and looks up at Chloe as she puts her drink down.

"I know." Chloe sits down with one leg curled under her and the other stretched out in front of her, her foot resting against Aubrey's thigh. "But I like being with you." She pauses. "Even if you do make me angry, which I still am, by the way."

Aubrey looks down and picks up a piece of toast like she didn't hear what Chloe said. She's still feeling jittery and dazed and worked up over everything that happened all at once – especially the mirror and the medication. Chloe's frustration with her just makes it worse. She takes a bite of the bread and looks in the direction of the inn.

Chloe follows her gaze. "Do you ever think about getting married?" she asks and leans forward to steal the scone from Aubrey's plate.

Aubrey draws in a breath at the question and fumbles for an answer. "Everyone thinks about that, Chloe." It's the only way to admit that sometimes she does. It's a distant dream though. Not really something she wastes her time putting much thought into. She can't really accept that anyone would want to marry her, but, on occasion, she still tries to imagine it as best as she can. She tries to think about what her husband might be like. Her thoughts never really stray too far after the logical 'that's not going to happen' sinks in. But she still watches cheesy romance movies and (not that she'd ever tell Chloe - or anyone, for that matter) tries to think of what it would be like if she was in the female lead's shoes. She considers that maybe she even watches them too often if they're the first thing she thinks of whenever she thinks of marriage.

But Aubrey has a thing for sappy romance movies; the cliché kind where people tearfully declare their love then kiss in the pouring rain. It's a little disgusting when she actually thinks about it, because real life marriages are more like what happened between her mother and father. People realize love doesn't exist and they settle for each other. That's what Aubrey expects to happen. But if love does exist, the movies make her wonder if it's really as intense as it looks, and, if it is, what it will feel like if someone knocks the wind out of her one day. She looks at Chloe and tries to ignore how the question made her lungs feel smaller.

"I think about it a lot," Chloe admits. She pulls off a piece of the scone with her fingers and pops it into her mouth, still staring at the inn. She grins and turns back around to face Aubrey. "When I was little, I used to marry my dog."

Aubrey pulls her head back and stares at her. Chloe is 'interesting' sometimes (read: all of the time). Her childhood stories are wild compared to Aubrey's, and half the time, Aubrey doubts she even tells the truth about them. She shakes her head and picks up her glass of juice.

Chloe giggles at Aubrey's expression. "My mom let me use her white bed sheet as a dress. And my dad had this really old top hat and I'd put it on my dog when my dad was at work. Then I'd steal one of his ties, but I couldn't really figure out how to tie it around my dog's neck, so I'd just use it to tie him to the table in the hallway. For some weird reason, I thought that was how you prevented your husband from leaving you."

Orange juice nearly comes out of Aubrey's nose. She quickly lowers the glass away from her mouth and swallows. "What, does you mom tie up your dad?" she asks.

"Sometimes," Chloe replies. "But not for that reason. For worse reasons."

"Ew!" Aubrey exclaims. "Chloe, that is so gross."

"I know!" Chloe replies, talking at twice the speed now. "Like gag me with a spoon, please."

Aubrey shakes her head. "I don't even want to know how you know that." She takes another sip of her juice.

"I was five, and they forgot to lock their door, okay?" Chloe goes on to tell her anyway. "It was like the most scarring moment of my entire life, Aubrey. In the time it took my mom to put clothes on, I was on the phone, hysterically trying to report a murder to my grammy because I couldn't remember how to dial 911."

"Chloe, it's literally 9-1-1," Aubrey laughs and lowers her glass again.

"Well, I know that now, Miss State-the-Obvious!" Chloe raises a hand and dismisses the story she got side-tracked with. "Anyway. My mom used to make my brother be the priest and dress up in one of our dad's suits whenever I asked him to. And he always had friends over, so I'd have a whole audience."

"I can't believe Daniel still likes you after all the stuff you did to him," Aubrey comments and shakes her head. She picks up her second slice of toast.

"But I was like the cutest little sister ever," Chloe replies with a grin. "Why don't you tell me a story?" she suggests.

Aubrey presses her lips off to one side and looks down at her toast, picking at the crust. She exhales quietly and considers asking Chloe if she played make-believe often. She wants to tell her about the one time she did – when her father was away and she and her siblings sneaked out to a fair for the first time. They pretended they were running away to join the circus. She was fifteen. She bought a clown nose and got a music note painted on her face. She forgot to wash it off before her father came home. She glances up at Chloe and stays silent.

Chloe's grin has faded to a sympathetic smile – like she can read every one of Aubrey's emotions, even if she can't read her thoughts. She doesn't press her. "So, what do you want your wedding song to be?" she switches back to the original topic. "I'll sing you mine," she offers.

"You sing me yours," Aubrey replies and bypasses the question completely – ignoring it in her head as well.

"Okay." Chloe shifts into a different position so both of her legs are curled by her sides. She picks up her glass of orange juice and takes a sip then wipes at her mouth with her thumb before looking at Aubrey. She inhales deeply and smiles. "You know, sometimes I wish I lived in a musical where I could just sing like this all the time," she comments. Her smile grows and she looks at the ground for a moment as she puts her glass down. She looks back up and begins singing.

I wasn't there the moment you first learned to breathe.
But I'm on my way, on my way.
I wasn't there the moment you got off your knees.
But I'm on my way, on my way.
Lay down and come alive in all you've found,
All you're meant to be.
And for now, we'll wait until the morning night,
And close our eyes to see.
Just close your eyes to see.

Aubrey could have guessed it would be this song. Chloe plays it on her guitar all too often – mostly in the middle of the night in her own room after the two of them have a fight. She doesn't smile back. Just quietly listens.

A tear must have formed in my eye when you had your first kiss,
But I'm on my way, on my way.
So leave a space deep inside for everything I'll miss,
'Cause I'm on my way, on my way.
Lay down and come alive in all you've found,
All you're meant to be.
Oh, and for now, we'll wait until the morning night,
And close our eyes to see.
Just close your eyes to see.

Aubrey folds her arms – torn between Chloe's voice and jealousy. She tries to block it out. She knows that one day that song will be playing for Chloe and someone else – has come to accept it. She tenses her shoulders and looks at the grass, telling herself it doesn't bother her. Chloe deserves to be happy.

And when you feel no saving grace,
Well, I'm on my way, on my way.
And when you're bound to second place,
Well, I'm on my way, on my way.
So don't believe it's all in vain,
'Cause I'm on my way, on my way.
The light at the end is worth the pain,
'Cause I'm on my way, on my way.

"I wish I had my guitar," Chloe comments. She strums the air a few times and bobs her head before continuing.

I'll be there the moment you come out in white.
'Cause I'm on my way, on my way.

"You should pick a new song," Aubrey states coldly and pulls a few blades of grass out of the dirt. She clenches her jaw and brushes her hand off against her pants.

"Why?" Chloe asks, looking taken aback and maybe even a little offended. She immediately jumps to a positive conclusion. "If that was your song, you can use it too."

Aubrey looks up. Sure, she'll go with that being the reason behind what she said. "We can't use the same song at our weddings," she nudges the conversation in that direction.

Chloe smirks. "We can if we marry each other." She winks.

That used to be fun to joke about, but not anymore. Not lately. Not when they're not a thing. Actually, it was never fun to joke about. "Do you even know what you're saying sometimes, Chloe?" Aubrey asks her seriously.

"I always know what I'm saying," Chloe replies a little too quickly. She draws in a breath and fumbles for words, slightly moving her mouth with no sound coming out – in the way that Aubrey notes usually happens whenever she's too excited or nervous. Aubrey can tell from the wavering smile that it's a mixture of both. "Aubrey, I…" Again with the fumbling. Aubrey can't deny that it's cute, but so much for always knowing what she's saying. She gets distracted for a moment, thinking that Chloe should script things in her head like she does rather than just blurt them out without stopping to think about how she's going to word them.

Aubrey glances behind her as she waits to hear what Chloe has to say. She leans back on her hand then hisses as pain shoots from her wrist up toward her elbow. She jolts forward again and rubs the offending area.

Chloe stops trying to make words. "What's wrong?" She moves onto her hands and knees and abandons what's left on her plate of food, crawling over to Aubrey. She's sits down beside her and looks at her wrist before looking up at her face.

Aubrey examines her arm. At least it isn't bruised, just slightly swollen. "It's fine," she dismisses it and looks at her food.

"Here, let me see it." Chloe reaches out to touch her arm.

"Ow, Chloe." Aubrey grimaces before Chloe can even touch her and pulls her arm back, holding it against her chest. "How many times do I have to tell you, you don't look with your hands?"

"Just let me see," Chloe insists. She gets situated in a cross-legged position then takes Aubrey's arm by the elbow and eases it toward her, straightening it out. Aubrey tries to swallow the dryness in her throat as the pain eases. She doesn't understand how Chloe can touch it and automatically just make it feel better. That defies all medical laws. Chloe keeps one hand under Aubrey's elbow and takes her hand in the other, her thumb pressed against Aubrey's palm. "What'd you do to it?" she asks and slowly turns Aubrey's arm, looking it over.

Aubrey clenches her jaw and looks at the grass. "Nothing," she lies and shifts slightly. She's sure if she tells Chloe that it'll feel more like she landed on her ego than on any other part of her body. She tries to keep a blank expression but her lower lip juts out in a pout.

Chloe looks like she's trying not to smile. "It doesn't seem like nothing," she pushes and leans in closer to Aubrey's face.

Aubrey glances at her out of the corner of her eye. "Okay, I fell on my run," she blurts out quickly. "But it's fine, Chloe."

Chloe squeezes her arm.

"Ow!" Aubrey practically yells. "Jesus Christ! What the hell, Chloe?!"

"I thought you said it was fine." Chloe suppresses a smile and fails at the innocent look she's trying to give.

Aubrey just glares at her.

"You should really watch out for those tree roots," Chloe comments and leans back again. She continues to hold Aubrey's arm, stroking her palm with her thumb.

The corners of Aubrey's lips twitch at Chloe's assumption. Her stomach feels sick again, and she looks away from her, not wanting to think about what she really tripped over.

"You know, I think I know how to make this better," Chloe says softly.

Aubrey's gaze snaps in her direction again. "What are you going to do?" she asks quickly and tries to tug her arm back. Chloe keeps a firm grip on her elbow.

"Relax," Chloe reassures her. "You're acting like you think I'm going to cut your arm off."

Aubrey frowns. With Chloe, one never can tell.

"Show me where it hurts the most," Chloe instructs her.

Aubrey hesitates for a moment. She tries to be stubborn. But then she lifts her other hand and points to an area on the inside of her arm, just above her wrist. She gives Chloe a cautious look, ready to yank her arm back at any time.

Chloe studies where she points then looks up at her face. "Aubrey, you need to relax," she tells her again. "I'm your best friend. Just trust me on this, okay? I'm not going to hurt you."

She's right. Aubrey draws in a breath then lets the tension drain out of her as she slowly exhales. "Okay," she complies.

Chloe smiles at her. "Good." She lifts Aubrey's arm slightly higher then leans over and gently presses her lips against the inside of Aubrey's wrist.

Aubrey's breath catches in her throat and she swallows thickly. Is the warmth that spreads through her arm then engulfs the rest of her supposed to be what makes her feel better? She doesn't know why, but it causes tears to spring into her eyes. She quickly looks away and refocuses on the grass.

"There." Chloe lifts her head again and slides her arm from Aubrey's elbow up to her shoulder. "What else hurts , Aubrey?" she asks tenderly, her voice just above a whisper.

Aubrey presses her lips together then tries to breathe. She knows how to tell Chloe that all of her muscles ache from falling, but she doesn't quite know how to voice that her insides hurt as well – or why everything feels so bad. She diverts her gaze in the opposite direction of Chloe. "Everything," she admits, just barely managing to muster out the word.

Chloe is silent for a moment and Aubrey can feel her just staring at her. "I think I can help with that too," she finally offers.

Aubrey lifts her head and meets Chloe's sympathetic gaze. She wants to ask her how. Or maybe to tell her that she doesn't think that she can. Instead, she just finds herself clinging to some semblance of hope that Chloe is telling the truth. Her lower lip quivers and she bites down on the inside of it to stop it.

"Are you going to let me help?" Chloe asks and tilts her head to the side.

Denying the offer isn't even an option. Aubrey looks down and nods her head. She holds her breath and waits for Chloe to do something.

Chloe lets go of her arm and pushes herself up onto her knees. She moves so she's straddling Aubrey's lap and wraps her arms around her neck. She leans over and kisses Aubrey on the cheek. Then she kisses her on the cheek again. And again. And again.

"Chloe, that's not helping," Aubrey mutters. She turns to the side and stretches her legs out in front of her.

Chloe pulls back and gives her a skeptical look. "It's not?" She pauses and purses her lips together. "Oh. I must have kissed the wrong spot." She smirks. "Silly me." She leans over and kisses a ticklish area on the side of Aubrey's neck.

"Chloe!" Aubrey shrieks and tries to shove her off. She tilts her head to the side and tries to restrict access to that spot on her neck. Chloe takes advantage of that and brushes her lips against the other side of Aubrey's neck while simultaneously tickling her side.

Aubrey squeals and falls over onto her back, taking Chloe down with her. "Chloe Beale!" She squirms and bursts out laughing as Chloe lightly slides her fingers across her lower stomach. "Stop!" she demands through giggling.

Chloe obeys and stops tickling her. She lays down on top of her, propping herself up with her arms on either side of Aubrey's head. "What am I going to do with you?" she asks quietly and presses their foreheads together.

Aubrey sighs and looks up to her, her smile slowly fading.

Chloe leans forward and softly kisses away the frown. She pulls back and rests one of her hands on Aubrey's hair. "I'll find a way to make things better, Aubrey," she reassures her and looks her in the eye. "I promise."