Honestly, the fact that Kakashi's initial opinion of us was that we were irritating felt a bit unfair. We hadn't even begun to irritate him yet.
After he disappeared we began our journey to meet him on the roof, deliberately lapping the whole academy three times before we did. Prick had made us wait so he could too.
He didn't seem outwardly fazed by the extended wait, nose shoved deep in that familiar orange covered book. I really had to wonder just how good Jiraiya's glorified porn novels really were. His first work had apparently been good enough to birth Naruto's name, perhaps his pornographic work had some quality too. Kakashi seemed to be genuinely invested in the series from what was shown in the series.
"You're late." Kakashi commented, not even glancing up from his book.
"People in glass houses, Cyclops." I snarked back with a grin.
Kakashi simply hummed, finally closing the book and slipping it into his chest pocket. "So, considering this is our first meeting, how about some introductions."
"Why don't you start us off, sensei." I replied.
"Hmm, why not." Kakashi said, eye crinkling into a smile. "I'm Kakashi Hatake. Things I like and things I hate… I don't feel like telling you that. My dreams for the future… never really thought about it. As for my hobbies… I have lots of hobbies…" As expected he'd given his patented lack of answer.
"That's it!?" Naruto exclaimed angrily.
"To translate: My name is Kakashi Hatake. I like being kicked in the balls and being degraded. I hate dogs and lightning. My dream is for those damn kids to get off my lawn. As for hobbies they include stamp collecting and sitting on my ass all day." I listed off with a smug smile. "Did I get that, Cyclops?" I could hear Sasuke and Naruto holding back sniggers.
Kakashi's eye locked with mine, challenge shining in them. Oh yes sensei, you're looking at your worst nightmare. A fellow smartass.
"Eh? More or less." He replied with a shrug. Playing unaffected, alright. "How about you then Pinkie? Anything interesting about you?"
I took on a scowl instantly, pulling my knee up to my chest and letting my hair fall forwards. "My name is Sakura Haruno. I hate a lot of things and I don't particularly like anything. What I have is not a dream, because I will make it a reality. I'm going to restore my clan and destroy a certain somebody." Somehow I was able to say the whole thing without breaking.
"Right…" Kakashi said, suddenly looking like he regretted getting out of bed. "And I imagine these two will switch their stories too?"
I just gave a grin with way too many teeth.
Kakashi grumbled under his breath before clapping his hands together. "Well, it doesn't really matter. I've read your files, I know all about you three." He gave an eye smile before pointing to each of us. "The Idiot." Naruto. "The Emo." Sasuke. "And the Mouth." Me, which… he wasn't completely wrong.
"Are you 'The Blind' then, Cyclops?" I asked cheekily.
"I'd prefer 'The Devil'." Kakashi said cheerily.
"Oooh, ominous."
"So!" Naruto called. "What are we doing first sensei?" He asked, half excited about being a ninja and half just wanting to move on. No love for comedy, I tell you.
"Ah… well, you see…" Kakashi began, pondering how to break the news to us. "You're not quite Genin yet."
"What!" Both Naruto and Sasuke screamed in outrage. I made a vague effort to look shocked. From the look Kakashi gave me he wasn't fooled.
"The graduation exam only tests to see if you have the potential to become genin. Now you have to complete my test to secure your promotion." The hint of threat in his voice had both of my boys glaring at me for riling up Kakashi. Jokes on them, he'd still be a prick anyway.
"So what do we have to do?" I asked.
"That… Will have to wait for tomorrow. Meet me at Training Ground 7 at 0700." With that he stepped towards the edge of the roof. "Oh and… Don't eat breakfast, you'll only throw up." He warned with an eye smile before giving them a salute. "See ya."He was gone in a swirl of leaves.
Letting out a sigh, I brushed down my pants and stood up. Naruto and Sasuke were staring at me. "What?"
Sasuke let out a growl. "You better have a plan, Isōrō. Because if you've ruined our chances for promo-"
"We're fine! We're going to be fine! Have I ever steered you two wrong."
"Well there was that one time with the-" Naruto began before Sasuke and I quickly covered his mouth to stop him.
"And we agreed. That. Didn't. Happen." Sasuke said forcefully, before we retracted our hands.
"Right…" Naruto said with a nod. "So what do we do?"
"Head to the Broody Bunker and plan our strategy for tomorrow." I said, ignoring Sasuke's glare from the nickname I'd given to his house. "We got this guys. With my brains, Naruto's brawn and Sasuke's… winning personality… were bound to succeed."
"You suck, Isōrō."
"Rude."
"You're late." Kakashi told us as we arrived at the training ground, arms crossed and tapping his foot like an unamused housewife. Which, considering it was currently nine in the morning, was technically correct. Though I got the distinct feeling that had we turned up on time we'd still be waiting for our one eyed sensei.
"Stop throwing stones, Cyclops! Windows are expensive." I snarked, rubbing my eyes once again. Even with our late arrival I still felt like crap. Didn't matter what world it was, I was not a morning person. My kingdom. My kingdom for a coffee.
"Well someone's grouchy." He teased, gaining a glare from me. "Well, two of you." Sasuke grunted. Meanwhile Naruto was vibrating with energy next to us, more awake than any of us by a mile. Lucky bastard.
"So what's our test sensei? Rescue some damsels? Save a country?" He asked.
"Kill my brother?" Sasuke asked hopefully.
"Graded sleeping exam? Please let it be that." I grumbles, before catching onto what Sasuke had suggested. "How big is that hate boner you've got for him?"
"I don't have a 'hate boner'."
"Dude, it's a pretty hateful boner." Naruto piped up. "We'll get there, believe it." He declared with a grin as I nodded. Sasuke actually seemed to brighten at that, having long since accepted that he wouldn't be facing his brother alone. Even with his reasons, as an older sibling I'd claimed first right to curb stomp the angsty fuck for what he'd done. Itachi was on fucking notice.
"Such ambitious potential genin I have." Kakashi clapped with delight.
"Hey I heard you italicise that you son of a bitch." I groused with a glare.
He ignored me. "But before you can go doing all that, you've gotta pass my little test." Kakashi began as he pulled out two bells. His voice was so sickeningly sweet that it was honestly a little scary. Even if he had gotten lazy he could probably kill me flick if he wanted. I should probably keep that in mind right? Maybe stop throwing shit at him at every opportunity, especially when he's about to hand me a sanctioned ass kicking.
Wait, why is my mouth moving!?
"You want me to see your bell, Cyclops?" I snarked, because I'm an idiot and apparently I want to die!
"Phrasing Isōrō!" Sasuke screamed, face bright red and his mouth twisted in revulsion at my joke. Naruto was too busy gagging next to him to respond. Thankfully Kakashi seemed amused. Oh wait, no, his eyes promised pain. Oops.
"You have until midday to get one of these two bells. Get a bell and you pass. Don't and back down to the academy you go." Kakashi explained, deliberately addressing Naruto and Sasuke more than he did me.
Oh no, he's riling up my boys. They'd totally take the bait. Crap!
"There are no restrictions in this test. If you want to get one of these bells…" He dragged his last word out to build anticipation. Drama Queen. "You'll need to come at me with the intent to kill."
The words hung in the air, the training field going deathly quiet at Kakashi's declaration. Naruto looked a little freaked out and Sasuke looked like he'd just been given a puppy. I might have stopped him from being a complete prick but he was still a violent little duck. Considering the world we were in and the fact he couldn't talk his way out of trouble like Naruto could, I'd let it slide.
"We'll start on 'go' in 3…" My feet squared as I got into a comfortable battle stance.
"2…" Sasuke pulled out a kunai and span it into a reverse grip in his hand.
1…" Naruto grinned and crossed his arms.
"Go!" Sasuke and I were gone in a flash, jumping into the treeline for cover and to put some distance between us and Kakashi. Predictably Naruto did no such thing and decided to take Kakashi head on, just like in Canon. I probably should have dragged him with me, save his ass from Kakashi's ultimate technique.
"Come on, come on." I muttered under my breath, trying to weave my trap as I went. While I knew the true purpose of the test I couldn't rightly reveal that I did. So I'd have to 'discover' that we had to work together to take down together. Which meant that I had to at least show something off about my skills and I refused to go down to an illusion dammit!
"Blooby?" A voice sounded out from amoung the trees and my blood turned to ice.
"...No, fuck no!" I shouted, very real fear shooting through ms. He couldn't be here, there was no fucking way that thing was here! It was an illusion it had to be!
"KAI!" I cried, trying to break the genjutsu illusion.
"Saaaakuraaaa!" It's voice sounded again, the genjutsu still active somehow.
That's when I saw him, it, barrelling towards me. Mr Fucking Blobby, Naruto-running towards me, no doubt about to consume me!
"KAI! KAI! KAI!" I screamed desperately as he got closer and closer. I tried to jump away but he tackled me to the ground, his enormous pink body bearing down on me!
"BLOBBY!"
"AHHHHHHHH!"
"Isōrō! Wake up!" The voice of my favourite brooding teen woke me up. Unfortunately for him he was close enough that my reflexive flailing caught him right in the jaw, sending him spiraling backwards away from me.
"Sakura! You're okay!" Naruto appeared, wrapping his arms around my shoulders in relief.
Too shell-shocked to throw him off, I absently patted him on the shoulder, my eyes still scanning for that monster. I don't know what jutsu Kakashi used but I was going to beat it out of him for personal use if it was the last thing I'd do.
Both of my boys looked a little worse for wear, even if the damage looked mostly superficial. Small cuts and bruises in places that would most likely be fatal if Kakashi really was trying to kill them. "Guessing neither of you got a bell?"
Naruto shook his head, leaning back to look at me and scratching the back of his head bashfully. "Sorry Sakura, I would have given you one if I'd got them."
Sasuke gave a snort from the side at that. "Like you could ever get those bells, Dobe." He snarked.
Sensing a fight about to brew I shook my head. "No, neither of you could. He's a jonin with years of experience on us. We can't do it alone. We have to work together."
"There are only two bells." Sasuke pointed out.
I shook my head. "And we'll catch that bridge when we come to it. For now none of us will get any bells on our own. We have to pool our skills together to even have a chance." They both looked reluctant at the idea before Sasuke finally sighed.
"Isōrō's right, for once." The fucker had the temerity to smirk. "So, what's the plan?"
Seven minutes left on the clock. It was do or die time now.
Kakashi stood in the middle of the field, right where he'd been when we started, like he'd never moved. There was a possibility he hadn't and we'd been dealthing with clones up to this point.
I landed a few feet in front of him, a frown on my face. "That was real fucked up, sensei. You don't see me showing you Horrors like that."
"You looked like you could handle it." Kakashi replied nonchalantly, turning a page in his book. "You have an odd imagination kid."
"I'm not gonna take that from a guy who keeps blushing and giggling while reading a book." I deadpan with a flat look. "Anyway, any chance you could give me those bells? Please?"
"Can't do that." He replied, before giving me a look. "So sorry to disappoint."
"Not the first person you've done that to, I'm sure." I snarked, shaking my head before smirking. "Well, don't say I didn't give you an out, Cyclops."
I threw both of my arms forwards towards Kakashi, the weights wrapped around my forearms flying free of my sleeves and careening towards the man. Who subsequently disappeared in a puff as he was replaced by a tree trunk. Which promptly exploded as the heavy weights hit them.
Funny thing, knowing what I did about this world I was able to bring ideas only shown later on in the story forwards. So considering how fast Rock Lee would become by using weights to build up his speed, it seemed a no brainer for me to use the same method. I had little doubt I had a long way to go to get to his level, my start had been set back by Sakura's terrible conditioning after all. But I was plenty fast now when free of my weights, decently above what I should be at this point.
Spinning into kicking the air, I sent my leg weights after the man appeared behind me, a similar outcome happening. I'd not expected it to work but I hoped it would at least throw Kakashi off.
Sensing movement behind me I sent a devastating punch towards Kakashi, who caught my fist with relative ease. His arm buckled slightly under the force of the punch, which I took as a personal victory. "This wasn't in your file." He accused, genuinely looking interested for once as he dodged my following punch, letting me spin out of his hold.
"Oh it wouldn't. I never took off my weights in the academy." I replied with a grin, chasing after him with a flurry of kicks and punches. "A ninja should never reveal everything, right sensei?"
"I'm not your sensei yet kid." He replied cheekily, easily dodging my attacks. "And you're still not getting these bells alone."
"Who says I'm alone." I retort before the earth beneath Kakashi explodes as numerous copies of Naruto erupt out of it. Kakashi made short work of most of them but was caught by one of the blonde knuckleheads latching onto his back.
"Boom!" He called with a grin before the explosive tag attached to it detonated, sending Kakashi flying.
Right into the path of Sasuke who blew a Grand Fireball right towards the one eyed jonin. It encompassed his form quickly and I was forced to shield my face from the heat.
When I looked back Kakashi was on the floor, apparently taken out by the attack. I wasn't convinced. "Naruto, send a clone to get the bell." I order the blonde who appeared next to me with a broad grin on his face, proud to have gotten Kakashi back for his 'ultimate jutsu'.
He quickly complied, the clone taking out a kunai as he neared our downed sensei. The clone actually got his hands on the bells before it exploded in a puff of smoke, obscuring our view of the jonin. When the smoke cleared, he was gone.
RING! The alarm blared.
"Ah, shit." I summarise succinctly as I feel someone chop the back of my neck and I fall into unconsciousness.
"-kura! Sakura! Damn it, Isōrō! Wake up!" The sound of Sasuke's voice brings me out of my black out, my eyes foggy as I look up at his blurry form.
I give him a smile. "Sasuke! Come he-" I was stopped dead from tackling the Broody Duckling by something wrapped around me. Blinking I glanced down to see I was tied to the tree stump, like Naruto had been in the original.
Naruto stood off to the side, looking sheepish and looking like he desperately wanted to untie me. He's so sweet! I'm gonna get Sasuke to buy him ramen.
Naruto's face lit up suddenly and I heard Sasuke groan next to me. "Stop extorting me for your own whims, Isōrō." He growled.
Ah, I'd said that out loud. Oh well. "But Sasuke…" I whined petulantly like a child… which I kinda was.
"As entertaining as this is, wouldn't you like to hear my verdict?" Kakashi piped up and I craned my head around Sasuke to see the jonin, looking at all of use appraisingly.
"What's there to say? We lost, you won. Better luck next time." I said with a shrug. "We threw everything at you, Cyclops. Even together we could get you."
"Ah but you did come close, much closer than I'd have expected." He admitted, which honestly surprised me. I thought he'd have something smart to say. "Granted that's still awful but…"
"Oh fuck off, Cyclops!"
"How rude! You're going to have to be more respectful now that I'm your sensei." He said, his eye crinkling into an obvious smile.
There was a beat of silence throughout the field as my boys took in what Kakashi had actually said. Almost in slow motion I saw their despondent faces twist into abject joy. Wow, way to make me love you in one instance Kakashi. I gave a grin as Naruto began to cheer, dancing around like the lunatic he was. Sasuke gave a smile with teeth, which was honestly a bigger reaction than Naruto's.
"So… Teamwork? That was the objective and why you let us get so close?" I asked once my boys finally calmed down.
"Got it in one." He actually used finger guns at me. How did he know what guns were!? "Honestly you all have pretty good potential as ninja."
"Naruto, you've got a good head for strategy in the moment but you're taijutsu isn't the strongest. Shadow Clones make up for that a little but it won't always work."
"Sasuke, your use of fire jutsu are impressive but you're too quick to rely on it. You need to work on picking your moments better."
"Sakura…" I gave a cheeky grin at his address, bobbing my head from side to side merrily. "You've got a good grasp on leading these two and your taijutsu is honestly the best of the team. You'll need to learn to deal with genjutsu better though, well work on that." He sounded way too happy about that.
"Well, Team 7, how about we celebrate our formation. I've got a hankering for Barbecue!" Kakashi said. I think I might love Kakashi, just a bit.
Though we weren't done. "Actually sensei. We're not quite done." I called out, nodding to Naruto to get me out of the ropes I'd been tied with.
"Oh?"
When finally free I stretched and rolled my neck. "Yeah, you said we pass to be on Team 7. Now we have to decide if you can be in Team Ohana." Sasuke and Naruto nodded along with my words.
"Team Ohana?" Kakashi asked, probably confused about a word he'd never heard before.
"Ohana means family…" Naruto recited with a smile.
"Family means nobody gets left behind." Sasuke continued.
"Or forgotten." I concluded. "You're our sensei now, that means you're family. That means that no matter what, the team comes first."
I stepped forwards, my boys taking my flanks as we neared Kakashi. "So I don't care what you do with everyone else. If you tell us to meet a seven, you're there waiting for us a six thirty." His eyes hardened at my words. Good, he was being serious about this.
"If you wanna turn up late to ruffle some feathers, you tell us so we can too. We're your kids, sensei, who'd barate us for it? We're Kakashi's kids." Naruto added with a grin.
"It means, you make sure that no one can hurt us and that we're trained enough to stop anyone who tries." Sasuke continued.
"And that you'll do everything to help us fulfil our dreams." I finished before grinning. "Including kicking seven shades of shit out of Itachi Uchiha for what he did to Sasuke."
"So…" I began, holding out my fist, which was joined by Naruto and Sasuke's at either side. "Are you in, Kakashi-sensei?"
Kakashi looked at us for a long moment, thinking over what we said a few times before he sighed. "You three are going to kill me."
"Maybe…" Sasuke said with a shrug.
"It'll be a fun ride though." Naruto beamed.
Kakashi looked up to the sky, maybe asking his ghosts what to do, before his eyes became steely and resolved. Marching towards us he placed his fist against ours.
"Welcome to the Family." I said with a smile. "Cyclops-sensei."
