AN: Welcome back to the newest chapter of Last Rose! A bit late I know but writing can be like that sometimes, especially with IRL stuff (nothing bad, I assure you) getting in the way. If anyone hasn't seen it, I've posted the first chapter of the second story in this series dealing with Rōzu's continuing reincarnations into contentious characters!
While Last Rose will be my main focus, Winter Rose will get updates when I can fit them in or get a good deal of inspiration. For those curious, the first chapter doesn't include any Spoilers for this story so you're safe on that front if you decide to take a look!
AN2: I did not intend for this to be released on April 1st but I can't deny it fits haha!
Chapter 9: Chop your Breakfast on a Mirror…
While the actions of my team may have de-fanged Danzo, for the time being at least, there were other aspects that quickly began to rear their head. I was suddenly thrust from the general anonymity that my background afforded me to the talk of everyone in the village. After all, for what reason would a lowly civilian be worthy of the recognition of two (three) clans, three of the oldest and most prestigious clans at that. Eyes were now constantly on me and not in a way I appreciated.
The three worst groups were quick to show themselves, leveling me with glares whenever they noticed my presence.
The first was the Hyuuga, the resident slavers of the village. Evidently the very idea of my adoption by three powerful clans was outright offensive to their sensibilities. Sneers came out in droves from them, their gazes filled with the message of just what they thought of me. The fact I technically now had more prestige in the village's eyes was an insult to them, in some way. Not that I cared, apart from Hinata the whole lot of those inbred could take a long walk off a short pier.
The second, rather expectedly, was the general population who hated Naruto for being the Kyuubi container. Finding out the blonde was technically a clan heir was already something that brought their ire, my being adopted into said clan made me a secondary target. Granted, most of them consisted of civilians who would be suicidal to try anything more than glaring and spreading utter rubbish rumours about. The idea that Naruto had somehow ensnared me was one I found some amusement in, though.
The last, and possibly worst of the lot, was Sasuke's fangirl brigade. Apparently, I was encroaching on their territory. Like any of them could place any ownership on my smug prick of a teammate, who took great joy to have some of their attention taken off of him. It didn't take long until they began confronting me on the street to fight for his hand…
"Forehead!" The familiar screech of a certain blonde kunoichi sounded out from behind me as I was walking through the village. A sigh escaped me as the noise hit my ears, the sound of her footfalls getting closer as I weighed my options. I could just run for it, could definitely put some serious distance between us before she had the chance to catch me. Hide out in one of the many stores the spoiled princess refused to go into for not being fashionable enough. That could wor-
My plans were unfortunately foiled as I felt her hand grasp my shoulder like an eagle about to take off with a rabbit.
Dammit.
"Ino." I addressed her dully as I turned to look at her, Ino's face nearly purple with rage as she leveled a glare at me. Taking a deep breath, I spread the most forced smile I could across my face. "How can I help you?"
"Help me!?" She replied with a sneer. "How about you go back in time before you tricked Sasuke-kun to pick someone like you!"
Okay, I was not doing this. "Sure, I'll get right on that." I snarked with a roll of my eyes, peeling her gripping hand off my shoulder with little effort. Seriously, just what was Asuma doing with her training if she was this weak? "Now how about you make like a tree and get out of here."
"Oh no, you're not getting away that easily!" She pressed, gripping my shirt and pulling me close. "You haven't won just yet, Sasuke-kun belongs with me."
"Cool, you can have him. Can I go now?"
"Don't you sass me!"
"Noooo, I would never…" Gripping her wrists, I applied just enough pressure for her to let out a small yelp. "Look, I have things to do and none of them include having to listen to you throwing your toys out of the pram."
"What?" She blinked.
"Look Ino, how about this? If you're so convinced that you can beat me, then how about a little wager." I offered. "The Chunin Exams are coming up, whoever places higher gets Sasuke." The fact I was able to keep myself from gagging was a testament to my acting ability really.
Ino stared at me for a long moment before her eyes became determined. "Fine, I'll play your game." Taking a step back, she ran her hand through her hair with a flourish. "Prepare to lose, Forehead!" She then proceeded to saunter off in victory.
Shaking my head, I returned to my journey. Hopefully my challenge would cause her to take her training seriously. She had less than a month but even a little bit of improvement would increase her and her team's chances of surviving what was coming. Ino might be an absolute pain in the arse but that didn't mean she deserved to die.
Humiliated when she faced me though…
Two weeks later I found myself and Naruto walking through the village together during an absolutely lovely summer's day.
Or at least I think it was. Honestly, I was so hopped up on some of Anko-sama's new concoction that I found it hard to discern my arse from my elbow.
Naru had graciously taken it upon himself to make sure I didn't somehow hurt myself. He'd pulled the short straw this time.
"Everything is just so great, isn't it Naru?" I asked with a lazy smile.
"Sure is Rozu." He replied happily… I think.
"Seriously, the sun is shining, the birds are singing…" I listed off with a contented sigh. "Look, even the square rocks are dancing!" True to my words, there was a small, perfectly square rock following us close behind us.
"Konohamaru! Rocks aren't square!" Naruto admonished the rock.
"Oh my god! You named the rock? That's so cute Naru!" I cheered, pulling him into a crushing hug. "Is that rock your pet? You should be nicer to your pets!"
Any response Naru might have had sailed right past me as said pet rock suddenly disappeared, replaced with a weird looking Pineapple.
Wait, where did Konohamaru go!?
"You! Foul fiend! What have you done with Naruto's pet!?" I interrogated the villain who had kidnapped Naru's beloved pet. The pineapple in question backed away as I advanced towards it, ready to employ some of the techniques Anko-sama had taught me to get answers out of it.
It was only Naru grabbing me from behind that stopped my advance. "Dammit Naru, now is not the time to play good cop!" I shouted, turning towards him. "How are we gonna find Konohamaru if we don't question it?" Turning back towards my target, I found the space unoccupied, a small cloud of dust replacing it.
"After him!" I shouted as I sprinted after the retreating offender, only slowed down by the weight of Naru as he clung to my back for dear life.
I could not have expected what I found when I eventually caught up to the dastardly pineapple, not in a million years.
"Look Naru!" I enthused. "The Cheshire Cat caught that rascal fruit!"
Naru let out a groan, his arms loosening as he fell to the floor. "The what!?"
"The Cheshire Cat!" I repeated, not getting how Naru didn't recognise such a famous character.
Said fairytale character was currently holding up the villain I'd been chasing with a look of irritation that I wholeheartedly agreed with. The kidnapper was even trying to struggle free, further emphasizing his guilt as he looked between myself and his captor with fear. Good, he would soon know true justice.
"Thank you so much!" I cheered, racing up and plucking the criminal from the cat's claws. "You've no idea how much of a pain this little vagabond was to catch."
"What?"
"This guy stole my teammate's pet rock, Konohamaru!"
"I'm Konohamaru!" The pineapple lied as naturally as he photosynthesised.
"Don't you lie to me!"
"Kankuro, what have you gotten us into?" A voice said behind the cat, stepping into focus to reveal a sand coloured ferret. I couldn't help but blink at the sight, unable to remember this character from Alice in Wonderland. Maybe she was from the original novel or something.
"Don't ask me, Temari!" Cheshire protested.
"Yeah! You don't ask the cat questions! He asks you questions!" I admonished the newcomer. Honestly, you'd think she'd know that if they were as familiar her tone would suggest. "Or he does with Alice at least. Wait, is that why you helped me? Do you need help finding her!?"
Cheshire just began to sputter, a faint hue of red coming through his purple face, made worse as the ferret laughed. "Who's Alice?"
Oh god! He didn't know who Alice was!? Had I just broken the story!? Who'd deal with the Jabberwocky now?
"The fucks a Jabber-whatsit?" The cat asked in an even higher tone. Shit! I must have said that out loud!
I dropped the pineapple in an instant.
I'd seriously screwed things up, hadn't I?
My growing sense of horror was, thankfully, brushed aside as a whirlwind of sand formed between myself and Cheshire. Was this Time coming to punish my timeline meddling? Oh no!
But it wasn't father time, thankfully. Instead, I was met with the piercing gaze of a… Panda? A cute as a button one at that!
"Kankuro, what are you doing?" The Panda asked in a smoldering voice that weirdly worked for him.
Cheshire, or Kankuro as he apparently went by here, let out a nervous chuckle. "Nothing, G-Gaara." He whimpered.
The Panda, Gaara, glared at the cat before turning towards me.
"Wow, you're really cute, Panda-kun." I blurted out, damning my big mouth.
Panda-kun's eyes widened at my words, which didn't help as it just made him cuter. He almost looked like a plush toy now. He even had "love" written on his forehead in red.
"I'm Rōzu! D-do you wanna go on a date?" No! Why Brain? Why did you say that!
"Temari, Kankuro, we're leaving!" Panda-kun announced, his voice squeaking slightly before turning and marching off in a brisk pace.
"Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" I groaned, putting my head into my hands in misery.
"You'll get no argument from me there, Isōrō." The voice of Sasuke brought me out of my sorrows.
Slowly turning towards my black haired teammate, I let out a little sniffle. "Sasuke…" I cried before launching myself at him for comfort, to which he dodged and I was sent to the floor and blacked out.
It was obvious, once I sobered up, that I'd just had the eventful meeting with the Sand Siblings, arguably the three biggest players in what was to come in the coming Exams.
And I'd deviated about as much from Canon as I could without not doing the interaction at all. Hell, I'd gone and called Gaara cute and offered him a date! What kind of suicidal maniac would do that!?
Me, apparently.
No, not me, Drugged-Rōzu! And I am not to be held responsible for anything that idiot does!
Besides, it's not like this will change too much from Canon, right?
Right!?
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Oh, fuck all kinds of duck!
AN: Flirting with the insane insomniac Demon container, great plan there Rōzu! Great plan!
So, not gonna lie, this came out a lot later than intended. The original scene with Rōzu meeting the Sand Siblings just wasn't working how I wanted. Rōzu ended up playing it a little too close to Canon so it didn't leave much room for comedy. Plus having a valid reason for him to chase Konohamaru other than "That's how it was in the original" had me stumped.
Luckily, Anko-sama's supply of shinobi enhancements (read: drugs) came to the rescue! Honestly, writing Rōzu to be so out of it that they can barely recognise reality around them was fun, if totally inaccurate to how actual drugs work. But hey, this is a world where you can make people see their own death so ridiculous drugs don't sound so out there, right?
Anyway, the next chapter will be our heroes actually beginning the exams and meeting the rest of the Konoha 12! And Kabuto too, that rascally devil! And who knows who else?
(Answer, I do but I ain't telling no one!)
As always, any feedback is greatly appreciated!
MurderousLord
