- Part 1 -


Arrhythmia


There's still a little bit of your song in my ear;
There's still a little bit of your words I long to hear.
You step a little closer to me;
So close that I can't see what's going on.
-Damien Rice


They weren't avoiding each other – which Aubrey found odd, especially after Chloe barricaded herself in her dorm room after Alice told her Aubrey was trying to ask out a boy. The next day they continued on almost as if nothing had ever happened. She and Chloe still took their usual seats next to each other in the classes they shared. Chloe continued to ask to borrow pens. They stopped at their usual spot for lunch. Then they parted ways to do homework before Bellas practice. But no unusual facts about Chloe's life worked their way into their conversation – nor did Chloe interrogate Aubrey about herself. And as Aubrey sat staring at her homework, her phone wasn't being bombarded with texts. She couldn't concentrate, repeatedly checking her messages, wondering if maybe she should text Chloe first. The essay she had been working on remained a blank Microsoft Word page.

She looked at her phone again, toying with the idea of texting Chloe to bounce some ideas off of her – even though it usually happened the other way around. But it wasn't as though she didn't know what to write. She could write pages about Women's Activism. So why couldn't she find a few simple words to tell Chloe she wanted to go out with her? She minimized Word and opened Chrome, but Google had already given her more trouble than answers with this problem. The sight of the empty search bar filled her with anxiety, and she couldn't bring herself to ask another question about asking someone out. She closed the screen again.

The lock on her dorm room door turned and Aubrey leaned forward on her chair, watching as the door opened. Her features set in an even deeper scowl as she waited for her roommate to barge in and throw her jacket and several books on the floor – a routine that Aubrey couldn't get used to when they had perfectly good closets and shelves. At least Chloe used her desk for her books and the back of her chair for her jacket. Towels, on the other hand... She needed to stop thinking about Chloe. Her father had been right about friends being a distraction – but, then again, when was he ever wrong?

Barb pushed the door open and took a few steps into the room before stopping to assess Aubrey's expression. She scowled back at her.

Aubrey slouched back against her chair and folded her arms, lowering her gaze to the pile of books Barb was holding. "You're going to put those on your shelves," she demanded.

Barb stared at her for another fraction of a second before dropping her books on the floor. She placed her hands on her hips, showing off nipples the size of sliced bologna through her shirt. "I'm going to put them where I want." She lowered her arms and grabbed the door handle again, pulling the door open wider so she could leave again. "Bitch," she muttered under her breath as she walked out, shutting the door behind her.

It was a good thing Aubrey was moving in with Chloe next semester, because she wasn't sure she could handle another semester of Bologna Barb. Barden should have taken more than just their interest in A Capella into consideration when they chose to room the two of them together. But, then again, by Sophomore year, there probably hadn't been many students who hadn't already chosen for themselves someone to live with. It was probably just me and Bologna Barb, Aubrey thought bitterly. And if she and Chloe didn't make up, she'd be stuck with Barb forever – at least until Alice graduated and she 'was allowed' to move into the Bellas' house. She turned in her chair to stare at the books.

Exhaling a long sigh, Aubrey grabbed her iPod from her desk and stuck her earphones in her ears. The entire dorm room could use tidying up before she left for Bellas practice anyway. She scrolled through her music until she found her Dixie Chicks playlist then tucked the iPod in her pocket and got to her feet. Humming along to the music, she pushed her in chair then bent over and picked up Barb's books, placing them on the shelves where they belonged.

Aubrey glanced at the door, certain that Barb wouldn't be back until after she was gone, then joined in on singing the lyrics. "I said, I wanna touch the earth. I wanna break it in my hands. I wanna grow something wild and unruly." She smiled and turned back to her desk, straightening her notebooks and organizing them by subject. "I wanna sleep on the hard ground, in the comfort of your arms, on a pillow of blue bonnets, in a blanket made of stars. Oh, it sounds good to me." She placed her Advanced Sociology book on the shelf with her other school books.

"I said, cowboy take me away. Fly this girl as high as you can, into the wild blue." She placed on hand on her chest, reminding herself to breathe like Alice taught her as she sang, and put her pens back in their holder with the other hand. "Set me free, oh, I pray. Closer to Heaven above and closer to you. Closer to you." If only she could sing like this for Chloe.

"I wanna walk and not run. I wanna skip and not fall." Aubrey turned away from her desk, where a framed picture of herself and Chloe stared at her, and busied herself straightening her comforter and pillows. "I wanna look at the horizon and not see a building standing tall. I wanna be the only one for miles and miles, except for maybe you and your simple smile." She glanced at the picture again, feeling awkward just staring it. "Oh, it sounds good to me. Yes, it sounds so good to me."

How did Chloe even add Aubrey's name into the song without it sounding absolutely ridiculous? Even just the thought of Aubrey trying to personalize a song with Chloe's named caused her cheeks to flush a bright shade of crimson and made her voice crack during a lame attempt. "Ch-Chloe take me away..." She sounded stupid; nothing like Chloe. She had to pause to regain her composure.

"Where do you want to go?" Chloe asked casually.

Aubrey lifted her head and did a double take at the door – which was suddenly open with Chloe standing in the doorway. She spun around, pulling the blanket halfway off the bed, and ripped her earphones out of her ears. "What are you doing?" she sputtered. She tossed her earphones at the ground, but they stayed attached to her iPod, dragging behind her as she approached the door. "Get out, Chloe!"

"I thought you'd want to walk to Bellas practice together," Chloe said calmly and slipped inside the room before Aubrey could shut the door on her. "And you kind of have my jacket." She stared at Aubrey, her eyes bright and her cheeks nearly as red as Aubrey's. "By the way, how does your voice always sound so amazing?"

Aubrey pressed her lips together, 110% sure she was about to vomit on her dorm room floor. Frantic, she closed the distance between herself and Chloe, grabbing Chloe by the shoulders and attempting to turn her around and push her out of the room. "Why can't you just knock, Chloe?" she snapped, her voice thicker than before as tears of embarrassment stung her eyes. "Just knock!"

Chloe dug her heels into the carpet and tried to shrug away Aubrey's hands. "I didn't think you were going to say yes," she said quickly, forced to take tiny baby steps in the direction of the door. "That's why I believed what Alice said." She reached one of her hands out and grabbed the door frame. "Because why would someone like you fall for someone like me?" She grabbed the opposite side of the door frame with her other hand, leaning in so that if Aubrey shut the door, it would hit her in the face. She was talking so fast that Aubrey could barely understand what she was saying. "I mean, not that there's anything wrong with me. I'm pretty amazing. It's just that you're smart and you're beautiful and you're perfect, and I'm, well, me." She pressed her lips together in a forced, almost smile.

If she kept pushing Chloe, she risked taking out the entire door frame with how tightly Chloe was clinging to it, so Aubrey let her arms fall to her sides. She swallowed thickly then mouthed the word 'what', focused on trying to breathe as Chloe's words sunk in. Chloe must have really wanted her jacket to go that far. Aubrey took a few steps backward then turned and opened her closet, digging it out for her.

"I'm serious, Aubrey." Chloe walked back into the room and shut the door behind her.

Aubrey turned and offered her her jacket.

Chloe took it from her and slid it on, pulling the sleeves down over her hands. "I really like you a lot." She folded her arms. "And after that, I think you like me too." She hugged herself tighter. "But, even if you don't, please, don't shut me out. You can just tell me no. I just..." She shrugged. "I had to take a chance."

Aubrey wanted to remind Chloe that she was the one who had shut Aubrey out – quite literally. But no words reached her mouth.

Chloe nodded slightly and uncrossed her arms. She reached forward and squeezed Aubrey's hands then stepped back toward the door. "I'll see you at practice." She offered her another tight smile then grabbed the doorknob.

"Chloe, wait." The words slipped out before Aubrey even realized she was thinking them.

Chloe looked at her again , letting go of the knob. "Did you want to walk together?"

"Yes," Aubrey said with a firm nod. There was something else that she wanted to do as well. She closed the distance between them and discovered what it was like to kiss Chloe while sober.

The electricity that ran through her could have powered New York City.

xxxxx

"Frow me." Sophia stands beside the chair and points at the pool.

Aubrey blinks and shakes her head. "I'm not going to throw you." She pushes the empty plate toward the bottom of the chair then leans back again and stretches out her legs, soaking in the heat from the sun. The warm air, coated with the heavy scent of chlorine, makes her feel like if she closes her eyes, she might be able to imagine she's at a hotel on a real island. She leans her head back and lets her eyes drift shut as she inhales. Is Hawaii this humid?

"Frooow me." Sophia leans over her and shakes her arm. "A Bee!"

Aubrey opens one eye and squints. She shades her face with her hand before opening the other eye as well. "I'm not going to throw you," she repeats. She rolls onto her side and props herself against the chair with one arm. "I have an idea." She places her hand on Sophia's shoulder. "How about you find your mother and ask her to throw you?" She adds what she hopes is a convincing smile. "That sounds fun, right?"

"Yeah!" Sophia takes a step back and puts one of her fingers up her nose as she looks around the pool area. "Mommy!" she screams so loudly that it makes Aubrey bolt upright into a sitting position and the rest of the people at the pool turn to look at her.

Aubrey cringes and rubs her ears with her thumbs. "Inside voice," she suggests and sneaks a glance at everyone in the pool. They're staring. She glances around for Chloe.

Sophia pulls her finger out of her nose and places her hands on her hips. "I outside."

Stacie heaves a sigh as she walks over to them. "We've agreed that outside screeching is fine," she says and folds her arms. "You pick and choose your battles."

"No a baddle." Sophia crosses her arms as well. "I no a baddle. Frow me!"

Stacie sighs again and picks Sophia up under the arms.

Aubrey blanches at Stacie's willingness. She lowers her hands and swings her legs over the side of the chair. "What are you doing?"

"Don't worry. She's like a fish." Stacie approaches the edge of the pool and swings Sophia back and forth. "Donald!" she shouts. "Incoming!"

Donald turns around then holds out his arms.

Aubrey grips the back of her chair and pushes herself to her feet. "Stacie, you can't just throw your kid in the pool." She looks around for some support, but no one seems quite as concerned as they should be.

"Hey." Stacie narrows her eyes at her. "I've kept this thing alive for two years."

It's a mystery to Aubrey how Stacie has managed to keep a child alive. "That doesn't mean you can throw it."

Stacie rolls her eyes. She tosses Sophia into the pool a few meters from where Donald is standing then steps back and brushes her hands together.

"Stacie!" Aubrey quickly approaches the pool. She can't say she didn't learn to swim the same way, but she had been closer to five when her father first threw her in the water without a life vest – a lake where they were camping. But then again, no one had been waiting to catch her. She had been simply told to 'swim'.

Sophia resurfaces and swims over to Donald, who picks her up. She wipes the water away from her face with both hands, giggling. "More!"

Aubrey exhales, just staring at them.

"More?" Donald asks, a wide grin spreading across his face.

Sophia nods eagerly.

Donald wades over to the edge of the pool and hands her up to Stacie. He takes several steps back then holds out his arms again.

There is a slight twinge in Aubrey's chest as she watches the scene repeat again then takes a step back and runs her hand through her hair, glancing at where her chair is still waiting for her. She turns and walks back to it, pushing the plate away and sitting on the end. If she were in Hawaii, she would be exploring – not stuck sitting at a hotel pool with these people. She leans forward and rubs the palm of her hand with her thumb.

"Aubrey!" Chloe swims to the edge of the pool and lifts herself up, crossing her arms over the cement. She wipes a few droplets of water away from her eyes then stretches her hand out toward Aubrey.

Aubrey lifts her head to acknowledge her.

"Come here." Chloe motions her over with one hand. She kicks her feet in the water, accidentally splashing a few people beside her.

Sighing, Aubrey gets up again and walks back over to the pool, a few feet away from Stacie, Donald, and Sophia. She takes a seat on the edge beside Chloe and lowers her feet into the water. The water is warmer than she expected, and she sways her feet back and forth in front of one of the pool jets. "Don't even think about it," she warns Chloe, eying her suspiciously as she waits for Chloe to grab her.

"Come closer." Chloe lowers her feet to the pool floor and stands up straight. "I promise I'm not going to pull you in." She gestures Aubrey even closer with her finger.

Aubrey lowers her hands and grips the edge of the pool in case Chloe goes back on her word. "What, Chloe?" she asks and scoots closer, learning forward.

Chloe presses herself against the side of the pool, standing up on her tiptoes as she leans forward until her lips are almost against Aubrey's ear. "I'd catch you," she whispers. She steps back again and offers Aubrey a closed-lipped smile that quickly turns from sympathetic to playful. "Even if you'd crush me." She rests her hands on Aubrey's knees.

"Aca-scuse me?" Aubrey barely has time to think about smiling back. She folds her arms. It's true that she would crush Chloe if she jumped on her from the pool's edge, but that's besides the point.

Chloe traces a heart with the water on her fingers along Aubrey's thigh. "Do you want to swim?" She gives Aubrey a hopeful look. "It's warm."

Despite that the pool is already crowded enough, Aubrey scoots forward and lowers herself down into the water. The once warm water is freezing against her bare stomach and she stands up taller, regretting not using the steps. "This isn't warm." She turns to face the edge of the pool, ready to crawl back out.

"Wait!" Chloe grabs her elbow.

Aubrey turns to face her.

Chloe leans in close to her again, a smirk playing on her lips. "It's warm once you're in," she whispers. She launches herself onto Aubrey, throwing her arms around Aubrey's neck and sending them both underwater as Aubrey's feet slip off the floor.

Chlorine water burns the inside of Aubrey's nose and she quickly exhales, blowing it back out. Squirming from Chloe's grip, she resurfaces and gasps for air, rubbing at her eyes with the palms of her hands. "Chloe!" She opens her eyes then blinks several times, water clinging to her eyelashes. "Are you trying to drown me?"

"Is it warmer?" Chloe asks eagerly.

Aubrey rubs her hands up and down her arms, shivering. She sniffles and coughs, flinching as she swears water drips down into her lungs. "For serious?"

Chloe nods.

Aubrey catches her breath and coughs one last time, rubbing her nose with the back of her hand. "No, Chloe, it's not." She wraps her arms around Chloe's shoulders and shoves her back underwater, staying above water herself this time. She steps back, managing a smug smile despite her chattering teeth.

Chloe comes back up and slaps her hands down against the water, sending a wave in Aubrey's direction.

Shrieking, Aubrey lifts one arm in a futile attempt to block her face as she shuts her eyes. She splashes water back in Chloe's general direction, trying to avoid water in her face.

"I got her, Aubrey!" Cynthia-Rose calls from somewhere.

Aubrey's eyes fly open just in time for her to see Cynthia-Rose grab Chloe around the waist and spin her around so she's splashing in the opposite direction. She smirks and swings her arm across the top of the water, sending a giant wave toward both of them.

Lilly hops through the water, and Aubrey thinks she may help, but instead she places her hands on top of Aubrey's head and pushes her down.

Aubrey grabs her by the legs and sweeps her underwater with her. She backs up closer to the edge of the pool as she resurfaces, prepared to splash anyone who advances on her. She eyes Stacie who has gotten into the pool and is looking at the rest of them curiously.

Across the pool, Jesse splashes Beca's legs as she stands near the edge and looks like he's trying to convince her to come in the water. She has at least finally changed into her bathing suit – a simple blank tank and surf shorts. Her eyes stay focused on The Bellas and she smirks, completely ignoring whatever Jesse is saying to her. Aubrey accidentally makes eye contact with her then quickly looks away, sending another splash in Chloe's direction.

"Cannon Ball!" Fat Amy yells.

Aubrey looks up in time to see Fat Amy run full force toward the pool and launch herself over the edge, curling up and hitting the water with a tsunami-sized wave. A shrill squeaking noise escapes her mouth as she throws her arms over her head, the wave crashing down into her in a way that seems to make her sink down into the pool. Several Trebles burst into a roar of laughter, and Aubrey opens her eyes again to see Chloe staring at Beca with her hands over her mouth. She follows Chloe's gaze to where Beca stands with her face pinched together, eyes squeezed shut, dripping wet from head to toe. Laughter weighs down on her chest and she folds her arms and holds her breath, doing her best not to let it out. This might be the best thing she's seen since arriving on the island.

Beca nods and shakes the water from her arms. She takes a few steps back and stares at the pool, then follows Amy's lead and runs forward – jumping in in the direction of The Bellas. She grabs Stacie as soon as she resurfaces and pulls her under.

Jesse's smile wavers and he takes a few steps forward, but Cynthia-Rose steps in front of him, grabbing Beca to use as a shield against Lilly's wild splashing.

Beca laughs several inaudible words that end in 'fuck' as she tries to escape Cynthia-Rose and Lilly, splashing water in Aubrey's direction.

Aubrey splashes back and moves out of the way. Maybe Chloe was right and the water has gotten warmer now that she's in it. She grabs Chloe from behind, pulling her close rather than sending her back under water. There is a lot that feels warmer.


Stones taught me to fly;
Love taught me to lie;
And life taught me to die.
So it's not hard to fall,
When you float like a cannonball.
-Damien Rice