- Part 1 -


Arrhythmia


They say I did something bad,
Then why's it feel so good?
They say I did something bad,
But why's it feel so good?
Most fun I ever had,
And I'd do it over and over and over again if I could.
It just felt so good, good.
-Taylor Swift


"Well," Aubrey steps into the hallway, inching through a half closed door so the Bellas can remain unseen. She clutches the front of her robe together tightly, feeling exposed despite it being tied. "This is nice." It could have been nice actually. Had this been a plan made for The Bellas, it might have been pleasant in it's own way. Potentially even enjoyable. But with Luke… Dear God let someone show them to the spa room soon.

"Yeah," Luke replies in a monotone voice. "Nice." He glances up and down the hallway, clearly having second thoughts.

Aubrey inhales a deep breath and taps her foot on the floor. She makes a mental note to ask Chloe for some small talk tips once they get home.

Luke exhales and tightens the tie on his robe.

"Ah." A man in a white uniform steps into the hallway. "You're ready. Right this way." He motions the two of them to follow.

Aubrey doesn't hesitate. The sooner they get this over and she can return Beca's bra, the better. She makes a face to herself and tenses the muscles in her chest area, squirming subtly. Maybe she should burn the thing before Beca beats her to it.

They're led into a brown and white room full of sepia colored photos and a small fountain. "Choose any bed you'd like," the man tells them. Aubrey chooses the one nearest to the door. "I'll be back in a minute." He leaves the room and shuts the door behind him.

"You picked a man masseuse?" Luke sits down on the corner of the bed next to the one Aubrey has placed her hand on. His face scrunches up. "Seriously?"

"Is there a problem?" Aubrey asks, making a tough mental decision to not tell him she wasn't the one who had picked any of this. She sits down on the corner of the bed.

"Yeah." Luke nods. "I'm not gay."

It takes all of Aubrey's effort not to roll her eyes. "The only thing that makes you gay," she spells it out for him slowly, "is being attracted to men." She almost smirks. "Having a problem with a male masseuse makes me wonder if you're just afraid to come out."

Luke scoffs. "I'm not afraid to come out." He catches himself and sputters. "I don't need to come out. I'm not gay."

"Okay then." Aubrey slowly slides the robe off one shoulder, making sure she still has his commitment to her plans, then slides it slowly off the other shoulder and slips her arms out of the sleeves. The robe falls to her waist and she carefully adjusts it so the waistband of Stacie's shorts don't become visible as she lays down on the bed on her stomach. "You need to take your robe off." Despite not wanting to see what's underneath, she realizes that she will have a better chance of escaping if she needs to if he's naked.

"Take it off?" Luke looks torn between going through with their 'date' and going through the nearest door.

Aubrey gives her best convincing nod. This is becoming more challenging by the second.

"Yours isn't off," Luke points out. "And you're wearing a bra."

"I…" Aubrey pauses for a fraction of a second, trying to figure out what Stacie would say in this very moment to keep a guy interested. She uses what she hopes is a seductive tone and smiles at him. "I'm saving the view for later." Before he can come back with another retort, she motions toward a towel rack. "You could always wear a towel."

Luke groans and Aubrey realizes, a little to her dismay, that he must be really desperate to get laid. "A towel," he mutters under his breath and walks across the room. He turns his back to her as he unties his robe then grabs one of the towels from the rack. He slips it between his body and the robe, not without struggle, then takes several moments trying to tuck it in a way it won't fall off. Finally, he yanks the robe off and throws it on the end of a different bed. "Happy?" he asks, turning back around and making his way to the bed beside Aubrey.

Aubrey thinks that she is the furthest thing from happy. She puts on her best fake smile and nods her head. "Mhm."

Luke sighs and lays down on his back, staring up at the ceiling. "Yeah, I hope so."

Aubrey turns her head as the man enters again with his supplies. She partially hoped to see The Bellas walk in an announce that the joke is over. If anything, maybe neither of them can talk and she can try to enjoy herself before she figures out what the plan here is. She folds her arms across the pillow beneath her and rests her head on them, looking past Luke and out the window.

The masseuse attends to her first and one by one lays various hot rocks down on her back. Much to Aubrey's shock, her muscles begin to relax and she sighs and closes her eyes. Maybe she and Chloe can come back and do this for real before they leave. She decides to suggest it later. Possibly even invite all The Bellas. Once she realizes the masseuse has walked away, she opens her eyes to watch him place two cucumbers over Luke's eyes.

"Do I look like a salad?" Luke asks.

"Right now you do," Aubrey retorts. She arches her brows in amusement as the masseuse begins to slather Luke's body in thick honey. She should have kept Beca's phone to take video. Not for Beca, of course. She would have texted it to herself then deleted it. She's not sure why she would ever need a video of Beca's boss being covered in honey, but if anything she and Chloe could pull it out on occasion and laugh. Maybe she could find a way to use it if she ever needs revenge on Beca. But, unfortunately, she gave Beca's phone back in a moment of kindness. What a lapse of judgement. She takes several deep breaths, barely feeling the tension in her chest and shoulders anymore, and enjoys the silence as Luke is turned into a human honeycomb.

xxxxx

"You've done this before?" Luke asks. "This honey thing?"

Aubrey groggily cracks one eye open and looks in his direction. "Mhm," she lies. She's heard of the health benefits of honey, but after this she doesn't think she'll ever want to try it. "It's aca-awesome. It's mostly honey, but they put herbs it in that clear your pores and make your skin very touchable."

Luke shifts around uncomfortably. "I do like touchable." He licks his lips. "Tastes good too. Why aren't you doing it?"

It feels like she's never had to come up with so many lies in one day before. She might be a professional improv artist by the time she's off this island. "Because." She pauses, noticing Chloe peek in the doorway, then quickly keeps talking so Luke doesn't become suspicious. "I'm already touchable."

Chloe motions for her to sit up and fix her robe and Aubrey quickly begins removing the rocks from her back as silently as possible.

"Well," Luke pauses to clear his throat, "Maybe when we're done, we can compare."

"We'll save that for later." Aubrey sits up and pulls the sleeves of her robe back on. She turns and locks eyes with Chloe then scrunches her face at the giant pillow in her hands as she tiptoes in the room.

"So, I gotta ask," Luke says.

"Uh huh?" Aubrey is only half paying attention.

'Stand up and get ready,' Chloe mouths.

Aubrey obeys instantly and gets to her feet.

"This…Chloe," Luke starts.

Aubrey and Chloe exchange glances.

"What does she have that I don't?" he continues.

Chloe looks at Aubrey and puts one finger over her lips as she approaches Luke's bed, a wide grin on her face. "A pillow," she answers.

"What?" Luke sits up and tries to look around, but the honey causes the cucumbers to stick to his eyes.

Chloe quickly spins the pillow upside down and empties out the feathers inside on top of Luke.

Luke begins flailing his hands blindly at the feathers and roughly shakes his head until the cucumbers fly off. But by the time he can see, the pillow is empty.

Chloe flings the pillow case to the side and sprints back over to Aubrey. "Well played, Bree." She plants a quick kiss on Aubrey's lips. "Now run."

"You two are dead!" Luke yells and clambers up off the bed.

Aubrey doesn't need to be asked to run twice. Both girls scream in a mixture of fear and entertainment and take off out of the room. Luke follows behind them, slipping and sliding across the floor, the honey making it barely possible for him to stay on his feet.

Chloe leads the chase with Aubrey close behind, sprinting through the hallway and into the waiting room where the rest of The Bellas are casually sitting on chairs and couches. She flings open the front door while Luke is desperately trying to wipe the mixture of honey and feathers from his eyes as he runs, and dives behind it, grabbing Aubrey and pulling her along.

Oblivious, Luke run straight out the door. Chloe shuts it behind him. She leans over with her hands on her knees, panting.

Aubrey stares at the Bellas in a momentary state of shock.

They all exchange glances then – Aubrey included – burst into a fit of laughter.

"Come on!" Cynthia-Rose leaps up from the couch and jogs over toward one of the windows. The rest of the Bellas quickly follow her and Beca lifts open the window.

"Bee!" Luke yells, running blindly in a zig-zag pattern. He pulls his towel off and swings it around, trying to chase off the insect. "There's a bee!"

"This is one time I don't care that I'm lookin' at some man's junk," Cynthia-Rose comments, laughing so hard she's barely able to speak.

"Looks like Pooh broke into the wrong honey pot!" Fat Amy yells out the window.

Aubrey braces herself against the wall, gasping for air between bouts of laughter.

"Was it worth it?" Stacie asks, wiping tears from under her eyes.

Aubrey's own answer takes her by surprise. "Yes," she manages to get out, nodding her head. Her eyes are still fixed on Luke swinging around his towel and spinning in circles. She can barely see due to the tears in her own eyes. "I hate all of you, but yes."