Part 7
"So do you think that Alex is going to go back to Aaron?" Alyssa asked her husband quietly once Alex was gone.
"I would say it would depend on how stubborn she wants to be," Damon sighed. "Even as a little girl she was very independent and her love for this Aaron kind of snuck up on her. I suspect she probably never would've married if she hadn't met Aaron Hotchner or if she had that the marriage wouldn't have lasted for more than a few years. She's so afraid of losing her independence that I don't think she would have been willing to tie herself to any man, as many of them can try to put a female on a pedestal, but...
"This Aaron might be different," Alyssa finished.
"He is different," Damon emphasized. "Blaire Blake's ghost made it clear, that we would support the relationship between Alex and this Aaron or we'd lose our daughter, even if that was because she broke off contact, not because she was dead."
"So you're still convinced that Alex is the reincarnation of this Blaire," Alyssa said.
"I can't be sure of course, but our daughter could be this Blaire's identical twin, so reincarnation makes sense," Damon explained. "I think that Blaire and Aaron didn't get to be together in that other life because of class separation, not to mention other things, so that this is their chance to find happiness with each other, as this time neither one of them is attached to anyone else and class separation doesn't exist. I know Alex doesn't even have a boyfriend at the present time and I doubt Aaron has had a serious girlfriend for obvious reasons."
"So why didn't you mention her possible relationship, with Aaron's friend. We both pretended like we knew nothing about David Rossi. Of course, I admit, we didn't know his name, until Alex told us, but the scene the ghost of Blaire showed us..."
"Showed Alex in a relationship with two men instead of one," Damon finished.
Damon had to admit he had been horrified at first. It just wasn't done, having two men at the same time, especially if you were married to one of them. It wasn't taboo or anything, but it was considered in very bad taste and could get you shunned. Of course, he knew his daughter would do nothing if Aaron didn't agree to it, but since he and this David Rossi were so close it seemed probable that he would allow his friend to make love to his daughter, perhaps even get her pregnant with Alex's consent. Damon had already decided that any grandchildren from either man would be accepted into the family. He would not lose his daughter, just because he didn't accept her relationship with two different men, especially since he had seen just a portion of the future. His oldest son Scott would likely put up a fuss if he discovered his sister having relationship with two different men, especially if she was married to one of them, Damon knew, but then he wouldn't know the circumstances.
"What are you thinking about," Alyssa and asked her husband.
"About Scott and his reaction, when he discovers his sister is having sex with two different men. They can keep it under wraps unless Alex gets pregnant by Dave, which is certainly a possibility you have to admit. The child is likely to look a lot like Dave as well as our daughter and Scott is bound to notice the similarities, if he ever meets this David Rossi in person," Damon said only partly truthfully.
"Well, that's a problem for the future Damon. I don't see any point of worrying about it right now. I want to see my daughter happy and the only way she's going to be so if she and this Aaron stay together. Hopefully, she'll realize that she's not going to lose her independence by marrying someone I already know she's in love with, even if she hasn't admitted it to herself yet," Alyssa said.
"What can we do though? If we try to guide her in that direction you know she'll just be stubborn and dig in her heels. She'll refuse to cooperate out of sheer willfulness, making herself, Aaron and probably Dave miserable in the process."
"You're right," Alicia admitted. "We're just going to have to hope that she's so miserable without them that she gives in, even if she holds out for a few months. I would think she would just accept it though, considering you told her about what the ghost of Blaire said. The only thing that you didn't tell her about is that she'll also be in a relationship with this Dave as well."
"It's better if she discovers she loves him to for herself, though probably not as much as she loves Aaron, but that can change the more time they spend together," Damon said. "For all we know she already realizes she loves both of them, but she's probably wondering if it's strong enough to last for a very long time."
"I can see her considering the ramifications of moving to New York permanently," Alyssa said. "I say it's a 50-50 chance that she'll go with the heart instead of her head."
"Of course, Aaron could move to Washington and Dave too if they wanted to," Damon said. "That might make Alex a little more comfortable with this situation. I can understand that it can be scary moving somewhere new, but Alex isn't usually the type to be scared of taking a chance like that. It's not like she can't find a job just as easily in New York."
"It's probably more the thought of leaving all her friends, her position at Georgetown, which I know she enjoys, basically, her whole life behind," Alyssa said.
"That's a very good point," Damon said.
"We'll just have to see how it goes," Alyssa said, just a little worried for her daughter's happiness, but there was nothing she could really do about it and she knew it. It was Alex's decision after all and she was the only one that could make it.
~~~Aaron, Dave, Alex~~~
Alex went back to Washington, ran her classes efficiently, but anyone who knew her well could tell she was distracted. She was developing dark circles under her eyes and it was clear she was not eating well, as it was obvious that she had lost considerable weight.
"Want to go to lunch?" asked Sarah. She was a good friend of Alex's
"No, that's okay I have things to do here," Alex answered absentmindedly.
"Alex," Sarah said in clear exasperation. "You've got to eat. I don't know what's wrong with you, but it's clear you're not sleeping or eating well. Maybe talking it out will help."
"I don't want to talk about it," Alex tried and Sarah glared at her friend.
"You will come with me to lunch Alex Blake. You will eat a decent meal, even if I have to stand over you with the club or put a gun to your head. You can't keep doing this to yourself. You know better."
Alex gave in knowing that her friend could be very determined and perhaps talking about it with her would help. Sarah wasn't a witch, so she would leave that part out as well as immortality, but otherwise tell her everything. She couldn't get Aaron out of her head and talking to him every few days didn't help Alex knew. She was still trying to decide if she wanted to uproot her whole life and move to New York, leave everything she knew behind.
On the other hand, she wasn't sleeping well, or eating very much come to that. She could barely choke down a bagel or a piece of toast for breakfast. She was basically living off endless cups of coffee, which wasn't very good for her, but it was all she could keep down. She would get over Aaron, she told herself. She could cut off contact right now, tell Aaron that she wasn't interested in any further relationship with him, end it. If only the very idea didn't make her so sick to her stomach. She didn't even imagine that Aaron was experiencing something very similar to herself. She didn't want to admit that she was hopelessly in love with the most gorgeous man she had ever met. It wasn't just his looks either, it was his kindness and his generosity of spirit, though his intelligence definitely didn't hurt either.
She and Sarah entered the café that was across from the campus and ordered lunch. Alex ordered a salad and Sara glared at her.
"You need more than that Alex considering how much weight you've lost," Sara told her friend.
"I'm not hungry," Alex repeated her statement from earlier. The very thought of food made her stomach rebel. She doubted she'd be able to force herself to eat more than a few bites, not without throwing it right back up anyway.
"Okay, so what's the problem that has you in this state? You have more sense than this," Sarah immediately questioned after their food was delivered. "Considering you've lost at least 10 pounds it's got to be a man. I can't see you not eating over anything else. You know how important eating properly is, so why in the hell are you doing this to yourself?"
Sarah was a motherly woman who had kind of adopted Alex. Even though their ages were very similar, Sarah still made sure that Alex wasn't overworking or tiring herself out. Sarah's hair was blonde with a few gray streaks that went past two shoulders. Her eyes however were green which was unusual with blond hair and made her even more lovely than she would've been if she got blue or hazel. It was just that the green eyes with blonde hair made her look a little exotic. It was no wonder that her husband adored her, as she also had a sweet personality, though she could be something of a harridan when required. Especially when somebody she cared for was being stubborn and doing themselves harm in the process. It looked like that she was going to be one of Sarah's projects, Alex thought uncharitably. She didn't want to admit that she was indeed doing herself harm by being so stubborn about Aaron.
Finally, Alex broke down when her friend gave her her patented you better tell me what the problem is look. She told her friend all about the guy she had met in New York. She left out magic and immortality, but told her friend basically everything else.
"Okay, let's get this straight you fell for this guy while you were in New York. He's intelligent, kind, compassionate, wealthy and treats you like a queen and yet you assumed that you could just forget about him when you came back to Washington. Alex that is so messed up that I'm not sure that you can fix it. I'm surprised this Aaron hasn't appeared on your doorstep demanding you see him. He must be the very patient sort."
"We've kept in contact over text and phone calls," Alex explained. "I did promise him that much. He hasn't begged me to come back, as he thinks that would be unfair of him. He wants me to be with him by my own choice."
"Perhaps if he showed up on your doorstep he'd be able to knock some sense into your head," Sarah told her bluntly. "It's clear to me that you have not gotten over him. I bet you're thinking of him all the time and I doubt you can quit for more than a few minutes when you are distracted no matter how hard you try. I bet you keep telling yourself that it was only a fling, that you can't fall in love in just a few weeks, but honey, I hate to tell you, this, but if you haven't gotten over him by now, then you're not going too. What is making you resist so hard moving to New York or begging him to move here? It's not like you can't easily get another job at one of the colleges in the city. What is stopping you from seeking your own happiness?"
"I don't want to uproot my life," Alex tried. "I've settled here, am happy here."
"You were happy here," Sarah corrected and Alex didn't bother to protest because her friend was right. "It's clear to me that you're fighting yourself. You're going to do yourself serious harm if you don't go back to New York and at least see him. I know you don't think of yourself as the type to fall in love in just a few weeks, but honey, that's usually the way it happens. Sometimes you just find the right person for yourself when you aren't even really looking. Now if this Aaron was a bastard, I wouldn't be encouraging you to go and see him or at least ask him to come here and see you. I bet if you said the word he'd be on the next flight. He could be here within 12 hours."
"I don't want to lose my independence," Alex tried.
"What makes you think you will?" Sarah asked staring at her friend as if she had lost her mind. "From the way you've described him he doesn't seem like the type to subjugate his wife or his girlfriend. You could do whatever you wanted. You could get another teaching position as I mentioned earlier, or do something else entirely, as you have the money to start your own business if you wanted to, though I'm sure Aaron would help you with that without being asked. Explain to me, why you're putting yourself and probably Aaron through all this pain and misery?"
"You can't fall in love in a few weeks," Alex said logically. "It was lust, not love and I'm not about to get myself into a situation where I marry him and then our marriage turns out not as happy as it should be, where we argue or yell at each other constantly."
Sarah rolled her eyes at her friend to show her disbelief at that statement. "That's what divorce is for Alex. It's not like you can't get out of it if you aren't as suited to each other as I believe you are. You can even take a sabbatical for next year anyway, get to know Aaron better. I'm sure he'd agreed to that. You're overthinking what is basically a very simple problem. You already love him and he likely loves you too."
"He told me as much just before I got on my flight," Alex said looking lost, eating a bite of her salad without thinking about it, not really even tasting it. "He told me that his heart was now on the line, but he felt he didn't have the right to beg me to stay, that it had to be my decision. He said he understood that I needed time to think about uprooting my life."
"That ought to tell you he loves you right there," Sarah told her friend seriously. "He was willing to let you go without begging you to stay. When you told him you needed time to think, he let you go without asking you to stay with him and you know he very well could have. Would you have been able to resist his pleading if he had begged you to stay at his side? To get a job in New York?"
"Probably not," Alex admitted.
Her resistance was crumbling and she knew it. She had been trying so hard to forget Aaron Hotchner and his friend Dave, but had been failing miserably, particularly where Aaron was concerned. Her heart was in New York with Aaron and she had been being resistant to uprooting her whole life and moving across the country, just because she didn't want to change something so major.
Her life had become rather predictable Alex realized suddenly in a startling moment of clarity. She went to work, she came home, or she worked on her next book. Occasionally she went out with friends to the movies or to dinner, but there was absolutely no room for spontaneousness. She was too settled, Alex thought. So settled that she had lost her sense of adventure like when she had first gone away to college, where every day was exciting and new, as she learned many things. She had become so responsible, so settled in her life, that the thought of moving across the country, especially for a guy, had created a great reluctance to do so. She had never moved for anyone except herself before, she had never done anything so life altering over something as nebulous as love. She could take up that position at Columbia that the board of directors had been wanting her to take for awhile. The pay they had offered her was more than decent and certainly more than she made now.
"I have been a bit of an idiot haven't I?" Alex said finally having finished her salad without even realizing she was eating, it somehow bypassing the extreme nausea she had been experiencing lately.
"Yes, you have," Sarah told her bluntly. "You're not the first, nor will you be the last to be unsure of such a move, especially over a guy who is obviously crazy about you, just as you are about him, but honey, you're only going to continue to be miserable until you go back to him. It might not work out, but you will have lost the potential of what it could have been, if you don't at least try. Personally, I would take a sabbatical for the next few months anyway, just to see if your relationship with this Aaron Hotchner goes anywhere. You'll only regret it for the rest of your life if you don't give it every chance. Do you want to be a lonely old maid? Or married to the man of your dreams with your children, your grandchildren and even your great-grandchildren surrounding you?" Sarah asked her friend
That was an image that really resonated with Alex. She wanted a family, always had, but she had become so afraid of the unknown, of a relationship not working out, that she had done her best to forget about being pulled to Aaron, like a moth to a flame or a magpie to something shiny.
"I was sabotaging my own chance at happiness, wasn't I?" Alex murmured to herself in realization. "Every guy I dated was always a dud, so that's what I had come to expect. I suppose that subconsciously, I was expecting Aaron to be like every other guy I dated, so I pushed him away without realizing it."
No matter what her parents had said about the ghost of Blaire appearing in front of them, she hadn't trusted them or at least the ghost of her ancestor enough to go ahead and do what she really wanted to do anyway.
"You aren't the first to be rather reluctant to turn your life upside down," Sarah said breaking Alex out of her thoughts. "You won't be the last either, but if this is really love then you should give it every chance to develop. Real love comes along once in a blue moon Alex, love that is enough to last a lifetime and beyond. Sure, people believe they are in love all the time, but then, they divorce or they barely speak to each other or talk about their day. You can't let your fear stop you from getting what you want as you're only making yourself miserable, and likely your Aaron too."
"Thank you, Sarah," Alex said heartfeltly.
"So are you finally going to get off your ass, and do what I know you really want to do in the first place," Sarah asked her friend seriously.
"Yes, I am I'm going to New York and I'm going to surprise Aaron. I'm going to take a chance."
"Great, make the arrangements before you change your mind," Sarah suggested. "Don't let your logical side take over and tell you this is a bad idea."
Alex nodded and put her salad bowl in the correct place for dirty dishes and followed her friend out the door feeling more positive than she had in weeks. That she had actually cleaned a the plate for the first time in weeks wasn't even noticed by her as her mind was on Aaron and her plans to return to New York to be with him.
~~~Aaron, Dave, Alex~~~
