Andrew Adams wasn't a man of many experiences. He led a very safe, mundane life. The most exciting part of his life had to have been his youth. He loved to dance. It was like he could dance before he could even walk in a straight line. It gave him something to hold on to, something to be passionate about and he was passionate about it. Then, he had to grow up. It was like the spark he had was put out instantaneously by real life. He began to realize that he wouldn't have he same options as others around him did when it came to his future. So he chose the safe route. The predictable route that allowed him stability. It was great, he always knew what was ahead. Although, it didn't mean he never asked himself what if.
The last time he saw Josh, he was picking him up from outside their old dance studio in town. Josh had just left his flavor of the month and needed a lift back home. Andrew was more than happy to oblige, just happy to support his friend. That day in the car, before life changed, they had a brief conversation that left Andrew thinking hard.
Josh climbed in Andrew's jet black car, sweaty and red in the face. Andrew grimaced at his appearance and tossed him a rag from his glove box. "Here. Clean yourself up Matthews."
Josh laughed and rolled his eyes. "I know that I'm rough right now but I've simultaneously had the best and worst day of my life." Andrew raised an eyebrow and urged him to continue on, silently. "I dumped Bianca. I realized how toxic and draining she was. So that's a good thing. I'm completely free."
Andrew continued to drive down the road as he asked, "And the second thing?"
"I think I want to dance again. Like full time. Make a real career out of it, you know?"
Andrew slowed the car down as he pulled over to the side of the road. He turned to face his best friend, his brown curls moving with him as he turned his head. "Josh," he began. "You do realize how improbably it is that you're actually going to get some good money out of this right?"
Josh rolled his eyes. "Here you go again."
"And what is that supposed to mean?"
Josh faced his friend dead on. "It means that you let life get you! You used to be the best dancer in town. No one could move the way that you do. Your technique was unmatched dude. You taught me everything I know. If anyone should be pursuing this seriously, it should be you." Josh paused for a moment. He got an idea. "So why don't you? We can do it together. We'll move into the city and figure things out. Just me and you, you know? And we can-"
Andrew would be lying if he said he hadn't entertained the idea for a moment. The idea that he could be more than what he already was, but he knew better. He had responsibilities, he had bills, he had things to take care of. He couldn't abandon it all for just one dream. Could he? "I don't know Josh. Now just isn't the right time for me." Josh's face fell at his response. "But that doesn't mean it's not your time. I may be Mr. Practical, but I say go for it. It just might change your life."
The next time he saw Josh, he was telling him that he was getting married. Their lives had completed diverged into two separate paths. Josh looked ecstatic, happy and then there was Andrew. Just trying to figure out what he should've done differently. He had never meant to become a problem in Josh's marriage. He just wanted to see his happiness first hand, he wanted to see what he missed out on. What he could have a chance to build himself if he learned to stop being a coward. The same night Josh came home, before he and Maya danced, he sat at the table eating his food happily, when Maya noticed a shift in his demeanor.
Maya's blonde hair framed her face as she tilted her head slightly as she noticed Andrew playing with his food. "You okay?" she asked as she set her food down.
Andrew's brown eyes met her blue as he shook his head. "I'm fine, just some stuff."
"Want to talk about it?"
Andrew laughed sarcastically. "Honestly no but I probably should."
Maya sat up straighter as she gave him her full attention. "Well I'm all ears. Talk away."
Andrew sighed and set his food down. He went into this long exposé about his quarter life crisis and how no one knows that he uprooted his entire life just a few days after the wedding. He quit his job, got an apartment in the city and decided to start over. There was no reason why he should feel like his life was already over when in fact it had just begun. As he finished his story he ran his fingers through his hair. "You think I'm insane don't you?"
Maya pursed her lips and shook her head. "Insane? No. Brave? Absolutely. That's not easy to do. To make that kind of choice." Maya let out a sigh of her own. "Sometimes it can feel like we have to do everything right now, but I know I'm certainly victim to this, but we're young we have so much time it's crazy." Maya let out a slight chuckle.
"What's so funny?"
Maya snorted as she laughed harder and wiped her nose. "Oh it's nothing. I'm just- ha!" She snorted again as she laughed harder. "I am twenty-one years old, married, and pregnant! This is insane." Andrew's eyes widened as Maya said pregnant. Soon, realization crossed over her and she gasped and covered her mouth with her hands. "Oh my god! I wasn't supposed to tell you that. Please forget I said anything. Josh and I want to wait a while before we tell anyone."
Andrew nodded reassuringly, "Of course. Your secret is safe with me. I'll make sure to act surprised whenever Josh tells me." Silence fell over them as Andrew frowned. "You sure Josh was cool with this? With me being around and all? I just thought with him being out of town and you being here by yourself, that I could help out since-"
Maya placed a comforting hand on Andrew's wrist. "It's fine, I promise. He trusts you. I'll make sure to explain everything to him later. I want him to focus on his tour. He's worked so hard for this you know? I want him to enjoy it the best he can."
Andrew gave her an incredulous look. "You really think he's enjoying the fact that's away from you and his unborn child? I'm sure it's eating him alive."
Maya shook her head, not wanting her earlier thoughts to flood her mind again. "I honestly don't even want to think about it. Oh! Let me tell you what happened to me the other day."
Andrew looked around his apartment and sighed. He'd made a mess of things hadn't he? Now he needed to figure out a way to fix it. How? He wasn't sure yet. That would have to come to him later.
.:.
Maya watched the doorway she just watched Josh walk out of. He hadn't left the house. Josh wasn't that kind of guy to just leave after a fight, but she was that kind of girl and that needed to change. Just as she took a step forward, a sharp pain hit her abdomen. Choosing to ignore it momentarily, she pushed forward but the pain quickly became unbearable as she clutched the door trim and cried out in pain. Josh, who heard her cried, quickly ran down the stairs and saw her hunched over in pain. "Maya?" he asked in a panic as he hurried over to her side. He did a quick once over of her and went pale as his eyes ran over her legs. He could see blood. He took a deep breath and spoke calmly. "Maya, baby." Maya still cried out, her knuckles white from holding on so hard. "Maya," he repeated. "We need to get you to the bathroom come on."
Josh did his best to move her to the bathroom, sitting her down on the toilet, kneeling in front of her as she cried silent tears. They both knew what was happening. "Josh," she whispered as he stroked her hair and held her hands.
"Sh. It's okay. I'm right here. We'll talk about everything else later. Just know that I'm right here."
The pain was agonizing for Maya, but just as hard for Josh as he had to watch her go through it. This wasn't how things were supposed to be. He was supposed to come home and she was supposed to be happy, they were supposed to be happy. What did they do wrong? Why were their lives like this at this very moment? It wasn't fair. Josh moved to go grab his phone when Maya clutched him tighter, begging him not to go. "Please don't leave me." Tears ran down her face as another painful moment passed. "Please."
Josh's eyes welled up with tears as he tried to hold them back. He needed to be strong. "I need to call your obstetrician Maya. We have to make sure that-"
"That I completed my miscarriage right?"
There it was. That word. Miscarriage. Josh nodded his head softly. "Yeah," he whispered. "That." Silence fell between them as Maya continued to cry. "I'll just be one second Maya. I promise."
In that moment Josh stepped into the hall to grab his phone, he let out a choked sob and quickly wiped his tears that he refuse to let fall in front of Maya. Quickly making the call, he handled the business as he heard Maya get up from the toilet. Running back into the bathroom, Josh urged Maya to sit down again. "No," she said softly. "I can't just sit here and endure this."
"I know," Josh whispered. "But you have to-"
"No!" Maya said again, raising her voice. "You don't know! I've been scares shitless out of my mind for days about being pregnant and whether or not it was the right time." Tears steadily flowed down her face. "Did you know that for a split second yesterday, I questioned having this baby? I questioned it. I wasn't sure if I wanted this baby anymore." She wiped a hand over her tear stained cheek. "And then I immediately regretted it. I took it back, I pretended like I never even thought it and now this happens?"
Maya's chest started to rise more and more as she cried harder. Josh took her into his arms slowly and held her tight as he let her sob. Just allowing her to grieve and feel those feelings. "It's not your fault," he whispered. "Your doubts did not cause this to happen. You did nothing for this to happen."
Maya did her best to believe him, too overwhelmed with everything from the day to protest. so instead she allowed herself to fall into his arms and fall apart. That's what she needed-to fall apart. The only person she wanted to fall apart with- was him.
Josh kissed the side of her head and hugged her tight, momentarily forgetting their fighting and remembering that they needed to stand together if they had any chance of ensuring their marriage was successful.
