In the middle of the night, in the library of Lucifer's castle, a sinner wanders the many aisles of books as he looks for someone. This sinner's name is Virgil, not to be confused with the poet or the man who supposedly guided Dante through Hell. No, he is simply the butler to King Lucifer and his family. He had blue skin along with short white hair and wore a typical butler outfit with white gloves.
The person he looked for was the Princess of Hell herself, Charlie Magne. She wasn't in her room, so he looked around the areas of the castle she frequented like the library. And lo-and-behold, he found her sitting at a table, resting her head on an open book. Virgil couldn't help but smile, typical of her to fall asleep while doing research for what he assumed was the hotel.
Virgil walked up to the sleeping Charlie and cleared his throat, making her jolt up from her sleep. After looking around she took a sigh of relief as she saw who it was that woke her up. "Hey, Virgil," Charlie said.
"Good evening, Madam." Virgil replied, "I regret waking you up in this manner, but it was either your father or me."
"I appreciate it. What time is it?"
"11 o'clock."
"I didn't realize… I should get to bed."
"If you don't me asking, what are you doing down here? I haven't seen you buried in these books since you came up with the idea of the Happy Hotel."
"It's the Hazbin Hotel, now."
"Hazbin Hotel?"
"We… rebranded." Even Charlie wasn't quite sure of the meaning behind the new name. According to Alastor, it was a fitting name for the type of people who came into the hotel. Has beens who felt rejected even by the people of Hell for having hope in something that, according to Alastor, didn't exist.
"Does this rebranding have anything to do with what I asked?"
"Kind of… can you keep a secret?"
"I've been keeping secrets for you a long time, Madam. You don't even need to ask."
Charlie smiled. Virgil was one of the few people aside from her mother and Vaggie who supported her dream, even if he wasn't sure if it was possible. After all, he's taken care of her since she was a child, so Charlie saw him as not just a butler, but also somewhat of a second Dad. This made her trust him with what she was about to say, "I've been researching how happiness can redeem sinners."
"Happiness? You mean like your sunshine and rainbows approach so far?"
"No, I'm starting to think that maybe there's more to happiness than that. Something deep and personal, but I've been digging through all these books and found nothing."
"Well, to be fair, most if not all of these were written during a time when 'Happiness' wasn't thought of as a priority."
"You're probably right, but where can I find what I'm looking for?"
Virgil grinned, "Might I suggest the internet, Madam?"
"I've been on the internet, but it isn't really helpful for-"
"Oh, I'm not talking about Hell's internet, the one controlled by whatever overlord is in charge of it now. No, I'm talking about Earth's internet."
Charlie gave him a confused look, "How would I get access to that?"
"Let me show you." With a snap of his fingers, Virgil opened a portal to Earth. Despite being a butler, he managed to learn a few spells from the demon nobles he knew from serving the king. This version of the spell, which is used by kings of the Ars Goetia without their grimoire, allows him to teleport anywhere twice a day. Charlie stepped through first, with Virgil following close behind.
The portal led to a small bedroom with a desk and chair next to the bed. The desk had two drawers on each side, and on top of it was a slim monitor plugged into a desktop computer. "Where are we?" Charlie asked.
"In a house your mother owns in South Korea," Vergil replied. "Sometimes she likes to stay for a while in the countries she visits on tour."
Charlie's attention was soon drawn to the monitor. "Is this how I access Earth's internet?"
Virgil nodded, "Indeed. I will leave you to your research and come back for you later. There are some notepads in the drawers if you need to take notes."
Before the butler could leave, Charlie spoke. "Virgil… thank you."
Virgil smiled, "I live to serve, Madam." He then went through the portal as it closed. Charlie sat down and pulled out the notepad before turning on the computer for what was about to be a long night of research.
The Next Day
"Everyone, to the lobby!" An excited Charlie announced through the speakers of the Hazbin. "I've found a new way to help sinners!" When she finished, she ran downstairs as fast as she could to the lobby, where Charlie set up a blank whiteboard. Husk was already there by the time she arrived, as well as the newest members of the hotel, Collin, Keenie, and Cletus.
Then came Vaggie, Niffty, Angel Dust, and Alastor. Niffty sat close to Collin, which made him happy since he had a crush on her. Angel sat at the far left of the couch and Alastor sat at the far right. Vaggie sat on a cushioned chair next to the couch, while the rest stood behind it (In Cletus and Keenie's case they flew behind it).
"Thank you all for coming!" Charlie said, "As I said, I've found a breakthrough!"
"What do you mean?" Vaggie asked before noticing the lines under Charlie's eyes and her messy hair. "And what happened to you?"
Angel spoke, "I was gonna ask the same thing. Ya look like me at the end of an afterparty."
"I appreciate your concern," Charlie said, "But don't worry, I was just up all night browsing Earth's internet!"
"How'd you do that!?" Vaggie asked.
"Virgil helped me. Seriously, Earth's internet has so much more on it than ours. They have their own version of Voxtube where you can get lost in cute cat videos… which lead you down a disturbing rabbit hole where you're suddenly watching a video about why women are ruining society, but I'm getting ahead of myself!"
Charlie started to pace back and forth, "Maybe we're thinking about this all wrong. We're trying to redeem sinners by what christianity deems is redeemable."
"Isn't that the whole point of this?" Collin asked, "To make sinners as pure as blessed so that they can ascend?"
"That's what I thought too, but what makes blessed pure?"
"Well, Metatron Mikael says-"
"Mikael might rule heaven right now, but he's not God. So how can he know what he wants?"
"He meets with God in seclusion once a year though," said Keenie.
"It's just odd that a supposedly loving god would allow the massacre of souls in Hell that he claims to love."
The cherubs thought for a few seconds, then Collin spoke. "Now that I think about it, it does go against the whole 'thou shall not kill' rule."
Charlie smiled, "I'm glad you brought that up, Collin! Because that leads me to my next point. Even with the rules God made, there are a lot of inconsistencies of how it's enforced in the bible."
"That part's true." Angel said, slowly getting at what Charlie was saying, "Like 'thou shall not kill.' God kills a fuckload of people in the bible. I mean, do I need to bring up Jericho?" Everyone except Charlie stared at him in shock. "What? I'm Italian, of course I know this shit."
Charlie continued, "This is the problem with trying to redeem sinners this way. It doesn't help that so many people make up rules just because of some vague texts."
"What are you saying, Charlie?" Vaggie said, overwhelmed by the information.
"I'm saying that, since the rules change so much, we should push the spiritual aspect of redemption aside and focus on the psychological!"
"So does that mean we're doin' Freud shit?" Husk asked.
"Not really. I mean that we're going to focus on happiness."
"Oh, that should be easy for me!" Niffty said with her sharp smile, "I'm always happy when I'm cleaning!"
"That's… good, but that's not what I mean. I'm talking about INNER happiness or happiness with one's self." Charlie pulled out a marker and drew on the whiteboard. "Something like this!"
Charlie showed off her drawing, a large triangle with 7 lines across it. Between each line were words that said, from top to bottom, Transcendence, Self-Actualization, Aesthetic, Cognitive, Esteem, Belonging and Love, Safety, and Physiological.
"Ok, what is it?" Angel asked.
"This is Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs! It roughly represents the needs of people in society. At the bottom is basic survival stuff like food and water, but after a person achieves that, they can fulfill their needs higher in the pyramid! And if they achieve those, they can reach Transcendence!"
"So what do this Maslow and his pyramid have to do with the aim of this establishment?" Alastor asked.
"If we can help sinners fulfill at least most of these needs and find happiness with themselves, maybe that will be the key to getting them into Heaven! I mean, we already offer things for physiological, safety, and belonging needs, all we need to do is help with the rest!"
"And how do you propose we do that?" Alastor asked.
"Excellent question, Alastor. We're going to be making some changes around the hotel. First things first, we're going to change our marketing. We will not bring up redemption or ascension, instead, we'll focus on helping sinners find their happiness with themselves and with life."
"So we're turning into a rehab center," Husk commented. Charlie sighed at that remark, rehab was a joke in Hell. A place where rich sinners and hellborn go to wait out all the mockery from whatever controversial thing they did. And when they came out, they would do the exact same shit again.
"That might be what it sounds like," Charlie replied, "But our goal remains the same: ascension into Heaven. Second, we'll be cutting back on some restrictions. The bar will stay, and I'll allow some sinful activities like going out to clubs and, depending on the sinner, recreational drug use."
"Yes!" Angel shouted, "I love this Asslow guy!"
"But these will be in moderation!" Charlie said, "And I still have some restrictions! Like not taking part in a gang war."
"You're really gonna keep bringing that up, huh?" Angel pouted.
"Third, since we're using psychology we're going to rely on our therapists a lot more now. Collin, do you think you and the rest of the Cherubs can handle that?"
"Of course!" Collin replied, "It's our duty to help!" Looking to his left, he noticed Niffty giving him a smile, which made him blush.
"If you would've asked me a few weeks ago, I wouldn't have been so sure," Keenie said, "But at this point, I'm all in."
"So am I." Cletus added, "Only, there's a problem with this. How do you know for sure this whole 'inner happiness' thing will work? I've never heard of anyone going to Heaven because they were happy with themselves."
"To be honest, I'm not. I know there are some issues with this, but we weren't getting anywhere with the previous approach. Maybe if we do it this way, we can get results."
"I love it!" Alastor shouted as he stood up, "A change on the road of redemption! Too bad all roads will lead to the same destination: Soul-crushing disappointment!"
"Not entirely," Charlie replied with a smirk, "Even if this doesn't make them ascend, they'll at least feel happy about who they are. And at the very least it can be a sanctuary for those avoiding the Exorcists. It won't be what I wanted, but at least I can take comfort in knowing I did something." Charlie turned to her girlfriend and gave a smile, which caused her to give one back. Vaggie had said something similar to her in the limo after her fight with Seviathan to comfort her.
"Well, aren't you confident?" Alastor said, a bit surprised by her response. "I guess we'll see if that holds up when the inevitable happens." Alastor sat back down.
Charlie continued, "Now before I end this meeting, does anyone know how to make flyers and promotional art?"
Collin raised his hand, "I do! I helped make some for C.H.E.R.U.B!"
"Perfect! Go get whatever you need and I'll tell you what to make. That's everything, dismissed!" As soon as she said that, all the staff except for Vaggie left to go back to whatever they were doing. Aside for Collin, who left to get things ready for flyer making. Vaggie stood up and approached Charlie.
"What do you think?" Charlie asked.
"It's… a lot," Vaggie said, "I'm just surprised you thought out all this in a single night."
"Believe me, I'm just as surprised."
"Are you sure about this though? It's a big change from what we planned."
"I know, but a big change is what we need as well as…being realistic about our goal." The two recognized the irony of that, as "Be Realistic" was something that Charlie's ex would say to shut down her wishes to help sinners.
Vaggie put a hand on Charlie's shoulder, "I'm proud of you, hun. We'll save these people, I know it."
"Thanks, sweetie," Charlie said before giving her a hug.
After 3 days of brainstorming, Charlie and the Cherubs came up with what would be on their flyer. It would be a black key with an H inscribed on it. Above the key would be the words "Find the key" and below, "To your inner happiness." On the back would be a list of most of the services they would provide.
After they printed out enough flyers, Charlie gave them to Alastor who would in turn give them to his pet crow to fly out and sprinkle them all over Pentagram City. Charlie recognized that, while there were people like Angel Dust who could adapt to the current times, there were also those who had a hard time doing so. So she thought flyers as well as promoting themselves on Voxtagram could help them reach more sinners.
All that was left for the Hazbin crew was to pray to Satan or even God that someone would find these flyers and actually come to check in.
