Bechloe-4evs: Thank you.
Bechloe-bible-49: Next chapter, they shall reunite.
Pixie1913: Thank you!
SunDanceQT: In her own way.
96itadakimasu96: Maybe I should get around to listening to it.
G: Idk if I'd say her past is heartbreaking. I mean, she has a loving family and plenty of great experiences too.
Surreal: Is it broken now?


Dysrhythmia


I miss the years that were erased;
I miss the way the sunshine would light up your face.
I miss all the little things;
I never thought that they'd mean everything to me.
Yeah, I miss you,
And I wish you were here.
- Lifehouse


"Beca, wake up."

"Dude, what time is it?" Beca grumbles into her pillow.

Aubrey glances at Julia's phone in her hand. "6:31."

"In the morning?"

"I texted Conrad to bring us food." Minor headache and general pain aside, Aubrey hadn't woken up feeling quite as bad as she expected to, given the night before – minus the hunger cramps gnawing at her stomach. Her stomach feels like it's threatening to eat itself if she doesn't put something in it now. "Beca."

"Oh my god. You are literally the most annoying person on the face of the earth."

Aubrey frowns – and pinches her.

"Dude, ow!"

"Shhh," Aubrey shushes her, "I don't want to wake Chloe's mom."

"But it's cool waking me?"

"She'll be upset if I go alone. It would be like I'm sneaking out." Aubrey's stomach growls painfully, and she flushes with embarrassment.

"This is what you get when you don't eat." Beca sits up on her cot, and runs her fingers through her hair. "Why can't you finally be hungry at a normal time?"

"This is a normal time for me to eat," Aubrey hisses.

"I meant a time normal people eat breakfast – like ten or one PM."

That doesn't sound normal. "One PM is after lunch."

"Only if you wake up before noon."

Another cramp squeezes Aubrey's stomach. "Just get up. Hurry up."

"Not everyone can just wake up and be functional," Beca replies mid-yawn, "Some people need a minute, Aubrey."

Fine. Aubrey will just starve. She sits back on her heels – staring directly at Beca, waiting.

Beca mutters something about Aubrey being impatient under her breath, and stands up. "I have to go to the bathroom," she announces before Aubrey can get excited, "Hold your horses."

Aubrey frowns even harder and plops herself down on the cot. She really is going to starve.

"Are you pouting right now?" Beca asks, sounding amused and a little more awake.

No. "Move, Beca."

"I'm moving." Beca is definitely entertained now.

Aubrey watches her go, then lies down with her head next to the radio. Beca's cot smells like her, and it just gives her more things to miss about Chloe. Beca smells good too, like spearmint, usually. But she misses Chloe's fruity bodysprays. She closes her eyes and tries to distract herself with the music. It almost works.

xxxxx

"Ready?" Beca asks, returning from the bathroom like a year later.

Aubrey has been ready. She sits up, and fights a brief wave of dizziness that keeps her from standing for a moment.

"Do you need help?" Beca asks, reaching her hand down.

Aubrey smacks her hand away. "No, I don't need help." She stands up on her own. "Let's go." She heads for the door with Julia's phone, figuring if she needs to contact her, she can use her husband's.

Beca makes a raspberry sound as she sighs and trails after her.

"I decided we should get to know each other better," Aubrey announces once they're in the lobby, heading toward the elevator, "If you're going to meet my brother, I should know things about you too."

Beca is still rubbing her eyes as they step into the elevator. "Well, I don't have siblings," she says, "You've met my dad, and I already told you about my mom."

"What did you do for fun as a kid?" Aubrey asks. She imagines, like Chloe, someone like Beca had a lot of opportunity to experience a wide variety of hobbies.

"I was in a band?" Beca replies as though she isn't quite sure what Aubrey is looking for, "It was one of those really crappy high school bands. I would record their music, and then auto tune it."

"So, you weren't actually in the band," Aubrey confirms, "You didn't sing or play an instrument."

"I made them sound not completely terrible," Beca replies proudly, "I was the band."

"What was it called?" Aubrey asks.

"Left Lane Closed," Beca answers, "I don't know why." She follows Aubrey back off the elevator, toward the tables outside the cafeteria. "Uh, it sounded good for about a year, then the lead singer went through a punk rock phase, and demanded everyone start calling him Moon Man, and, yeah, he changed the whole sound, and I mean, he must have known they sucked, since he asked for my help."

"What was his real name?" Aubrey asks, and sits down.

Beca takes the seat across from her. "Ronald."

Aubrey tries not to laugh. "Well, I guess you can't be a punk rock star with a name like Ronald."

"Yeah, no, you can't even stand before the punk rock god with a name like that. He would look at the banned names list and send his wolves after your vocal cords without a second thought."

The moment Aubrey does laugh, it hurts to breathe. Her expression immediately twists into discomfort, and she rubs her ribs with her fingers.

"You good?" Beca asks.

Aubrey nods. "Everything just still really hurts," she says honestly, "I think I'm just going to have to live with it for awhile." It's becoming hard to remember what it feels like to not be in pain.

"Tell me about your brother," Beca says, "If I'm going to meet him, I should probably know something about him."

"Well, it depends which one shows up," Aubrey says, "But it'll probably be JJ." She has very little doubt after Brian mentioned her brother was a dick. She would have little doubt regardless. "He is…" Cruel. Angry. Constantly on the verge of explosion. Her father's son, only without the self-control. And, yet, Aubrey still feels like she needs to defend him. "He is the worst of two evils." She doesn't particularly want to see Liam either, but if she had to choose…

"Great." Beca forces a tight smile. "Can't wait."

"Me neither."

"Aubrey!" Conrad squeals from the other end of the lobby, "Beca!"

Beca keeps the same fake smile as she turns to face him.

Conrad is either oblivious to her expression, or he just doesn't care. He places a cup holder and an insulated bag on the table, and begins pulling out plates wrapped in foil. "So, I made french toast and eggs," he says, "I hope you like powdered sugar!"

"Aren't you staying at a hotel?" Beca asks.

"It's an Extended Stay, Beca," Conrad says like that should have been obvious, "I can't stay somewhere I can't cook."

Aubrey smirks. "Yeah, Beca."

Conrad places the plates in front of them, followed by two foam cups with lids. "This will cure all your ailments," he says as he places Aubrey's cup next to her plate. He turns to Beca next. "And this will cure your bad attitude."

Aubrey clutches her chest again as she exhales a laugh.

Beca raises her eyebrows. "I don't have a bad attitude. It's six thirty in the morning." She takes a sip. "And I'm only going to forgive you, because this is really good."

Conrad sits down between them, and begins unwrapping his own plate.

The smell is tearing Aubrey's insides apart, and she feels like she could swallow the entire plate, foil and all. She quickly unwraps it, then grabs a fork.

"Eat slow, so you don't puke it back up," Beca warns her.

Aubrey sends her a disgusted glare. The french toast is already cut into bite size pieces, smothered in syrup and powered sugar. She slows herself down and takes one bite at a time, eating like a dignified person rather than a barbarian. She would never just shove all of her food in her mouth at once – except, maybe right now she would. She takes a swallow of her drink, and tries to determine what exactly it is. There are so many spices, she can't pinpoint just one, but rather than burn, the milky texture soothes her throat a little.

"So, Ladies, I met up with this boy on Grindr…" Conrad jumps right into conversation.

"You seem like you might meet a lot of boys on Grindr," Beca comments.

Conrad places his hand on his chest. "Thank you," he says, "That's so sweet."

Beca seems to have to backtrack and think about how that might sound like a compliment.

"He was very nice," Conrad continues, "But he had these eyebrows. It was like two caterpillars latched onto his face and refused to let go. Eyebrows should compliment your face, not eat it, you know what I mean?"

"I feel like someone with perfect eyebrows shouldn't be allowed to judge other people's eyebrows," Beca comments as she studies his face.

"Oh, honey, these aren't my eyebrows," Conrad informs her, "My eyebrows are covered under a hundred layers of Elmer's glue and concealer. These are drawn on."

"Seriously?"

"Touch them." Conrad leans closer to her.

Beca shrugs then runs her fingers along one of his eyebrows. She quickly turns to Aubrey. "Dude, those are not real eyebrows."

Aubrey looks up from her food, not exactly interested in anyone's eyebrows right now.

"Look at them," Beca insists.

Aubrey looks at Conrad's face. "They appear to be eyebrows," she agrees.

"Touch them," Conrad insists again, this time to Aubrey.

Aubrey leans backward as he leans forward. No. She scoots her chair away, pulling her plate over with her.

"She doesn't care about us, Beca." Conrad leans back and touches his own eyebrows, "We mean nothing to her."

"You're not used to it?" Beca asks.

Aubrey pulls one of her feet up onto the chair. "People show their feelings in different ways," she tells them to get them off her back, "I'm not touching your face."

"You have powdered sugar on yours," Beca informs her.

Aubrey frowns and sucks in her lower lip.

Beca shakes her head and motions to the corner of her own mouth.

Conrad rests his elbows on the table and his chin against her hands. "Isn't she adorable?" he asks Beca.

Aubrey flushes and quickly wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. Great. Just great. Now her mouth and hand are sticky. "Do you not believe in packing napkins?" she snaps at Conrad.

"So cute." Conrad wrinkles his nose at her. "I'll go get some."

Beca grins and watches him walk away. "I think I'm actually starting to like him."

"You would." Aubrey snatches the napkins from him when he returns. She can wipe her mouth off, but she can't wipe off her hand. Because it's the only hand she can use. She lowers her leg and places the napkins in her lap so she can subtly try to wipe her hand off. "Shut up, Beca."

"I…I'm not saying anything."

"I can hear the expression on your face."

"I'm sorry. I won't look at you in that tone of voice."

Aubrey slams the napkins down on the table. "Who…brings food and not napkins? Idiots, that's who. You're an idiot."

Beca turns back to Conrad. "I think we embarrassed her." She doesn't sound remorseful of this at all. She's making fun of her.

Aubrey scoffs. "No." The color of her face betrays her, because now she's embarrassed by them accusing her of being embarrassed.

"Look how pink her cheeks are!" Conrad reaches forward and tries pinching her cheeks.

Aubrey tries to battle him away with her one hand, squirming in her chair to get away. "Stop it."

Conrad wraps her in a hug, squishing the side of his face against her's. "Don't you just love her?" he asks Beca, and Aubrey has never been more glad that they actually hate each other.

Beca is just staring at her, laughing.

"Well, I hate both of you, so…" Aubrey manages to wedge her hand between there faces and push him away.

"Why?!" Conrad wails, falling to his knees, "I'm so nice to you! Why?!"

People are staring, and Aubrey panics. "Fine. Fine, I don't hate you. Get up." How does Brian live with this? How is he married to this?! She sinks down in her chair, to avoid a pair of nurses whispering as they stare in her direction. "Now."

"Look how shy she is," Conrad gushes.

Shy? "I am not shy," Aubrey defends herself. She just doesn't feel the need to spout every thought she has to every person she comes across. "I am a great public speaker. And I have performed in front of thousands of people." Pukegate was a fluke; she was nervous for several reasons that evening.

"She played the Cobb Energy Performing Arts Center, you bitch," Beca says, then laughs at herself.

"You know what, fuck you. Fuck both of you."

"At the same time?" Conrad whispers, intrigued.

"You know, Aubrey is actually-"

"Beca, I swear to god, I will shove your fork so far down your throat it will come out your ass if you say it." God, she regrets even knowing Sigma Beta Theta.

"Fun fact, I have like no gag reflex, so…"

Conrad gasps. "Me neither!"

"That's disgusting. I'm trying to eat without vomiting."

"I was just saying in general," Beca says, "Your mind went somewhere dirty."

"Wait, are we not talking about dicks?" Conrad asks, flopping into his chair, "There is an ass forking comment in there somewhere."

Aubrey looks upward and shakes her head.

"We should probably let her eat," Beca finally backs down.

"Thank you." Aubrey gets comfortable, or as comfortable as she can, in her chair and picks up her fork again.

"I feel like we should be best friends now," Beca jokes with Conrad.

No. No. No.

"Yes!" Conrad exclaims.

God help her. She's going to have to temporarily live with both of these people.

"Oh my Johnathan Van Ness, I have so many things that we can do, and make Aubrey do with us!"

Beca looks all in, but Aubrey shakes her head. She doesn't care how excited he seems. No.

"Have you ever been to a drag show?" Conrad asks Beca.

"I haven't, actually," Beca answers.

"I am about to change your life," Conrad informs her, "You have to come to one of my shows."

"You perform?" Beca asks.

"Yes!"

"Like, you put on makeup and a dress and lip sync on a stage?" Beca confirms.

"Double yes! Once you're settled in, you're coming to a show. You have to. Aubrey will come too."

Aubrey will not. She has no qualms with drag queens or what Conrad wants to do in his spare time. It's just…not Aubrey's thing. She doesn't like staying up all night and she doesn't like clubs. That's all there is to it. The way she sees it, if he wants her to watch his performance, he has two options: the living room and YouTube.

Conrad pulls his phone out of his pocket. "This is me in drag," he says, flipping through pictures for Beca.

"That's you?" Beca asks, then looks at Aubrey, "Have you seen this?"

"I'll wait to see it in person." Aubrey smiles.

"Those are my more campy looks," Conrad says, "This is a more natural look."

"He's a cute girl," Beca says.

He's not a bad looking man either, but Aubrey isn't going to let him know that. "Mhm," she entertains her, which seems to be enough for both of them to let Aubrey focus on eating until her food is gone.

xxxxx

It isnt until Aubrey starts to feel kind of left out that she looks for some excuse to interrupt their new friendship. She sips her drink, and, still curious, asks, "What is this?"

"It's Chai, but it's my special mix," Conrad answers, "Do you like it?"

Aubrey nods. She likes it a lot, actually. "Thank you."

"Dude, yeah, thanks for the food," Beca says, finishing hers as well, "It's fucking amazing."

"Good, because you're about to eat my meals three times a day," Conrad informs them.

"Is your whole life just cooking and sex?" Beca asks.

Aubrey nods for him.

"What matters besides sex and food?" Conrad asks.

"I literally can't think of anything," Beca answers.

Julia's phone goes off, and Aubrey checks the message. "My mom said she'll be in Chloe's room if we need anything."

"I'm going back to sleep when we get back," Beca says.

"Well, I don't want to keep you." Conrad stands up. He walks over to Aubrey and hugs her in a way that smashes their faces together again. "I'm glad you're starting to seem like Aubrey again."

Aubrey pointedly ignores him.

Conrad releases her, and moves in the hug Beca.

"Yeah, I'm not a real hugger…" Beca tries to let him down easy.

It doesn't matter. Conrad engulfs her in a tight squeeze. "Goodbye, Bestie! We're going to have so much fun living together!"

"He's so weird," Beca mouths to Aubrey as Conrad walks off with his things, "I wouldn't have expected you to have friends like that."

"Me neither, Beca," Aubrey tells her, "Me neither."

"Are you ready to head back?" Beca asks.

"Yeah." Aubrey gets to her feet and pushes in her chair.

Beca gets up too and grabs her drink. "Are you done with that?" She looks at Aubrey's cup.

Aubrey downs the last few gulps, then nods.

Beca takes it from her, along with the napkins, and goes to throw them away.

"Thank you," Aubrey says when she comes back.

"No prob."

Aubrey temporarily swallows her pride, seeing as she's already been drowned in embarrassment this morning. "And thank you for being here and not…staying somewhere else," she blurts out. She's sure that the police or someone would have accommodated Beca if she didn't want to stay in the hospital – if she didn't want to be around Aubrey.

Beca awkwardly rubs the back of her neck. "Thanks for, uh, not blaming me." She looks down then off toward the elevators.

"It's not your fault." There are plenty of minor things she feels perfectly fine blaming on Beca; this is not one of those things. It's too big. Too serious.

"Yeah. Yeah, no, you're right." Beca walks next to her to the elevator.

Aubrey presses the button then steps inside. They stand shoulder to shoulder as the doors close and they wait for the elevator to move. The desire to kiss her returns again in the silence. This time, Aubrey ignores it. It's not right. It's Beca for God's sake. But – it's also not like this is the first time Aubrey has ever wanted to kiss her, for reasons she can't for the life of her figure out. She stares straight ahead. It shouldn't take this long to move one floor.

Beca rocks back on her heels.

The elevator door starts to open, and Aubrey feels Beca's hand brush up against hers. Probably by accident, she decides – and then changes her mind when she feels it again and their pinkies touch. She doesn't fight it, even though she should – because it's Beca, because it's wrong and it's weird, because she's confused and there are so many emotions coursing through her body. She doesn't understand half of what she's feeling in general right now, and here is Beca locking pinkies with her after Aubrey kissed her.

They both just need somebody. That's what it is. They're both feeling scared and alone – when they don't have to. They're both going through this. It's completely normal to not want to feel alone. She pulls her pinky away from Beca's then laces all of their fingers together. "Beca…" She stops them in the middle of the hallway without letting go.

Beca stops and looks up at her. "Aubrey…" she mimics back, and Aubrey knows she's just trying to distract from how awkward this is.

"I miss Chloe." It isn't Beca's fingers that Aubrey wants to feel between hers right now. She could go without kissing Beca her whole life, and it would never make a difference. The moments between them where Aubrey does get a little curious are just that – moments. Strong at the time, fleeting in the long run.

It's just how intense those temporary moments can be that trips Aubrey up.