Arnold hesitated before approaching Destiny. It was Wednesday, and they were at recess. He wanted to convince Destiny not to threaten Helga with violence, hoping for a repeat of the Patty Smith Situation.

Somehow the younger, shorter girl was much more intimidating to Arnold. In a way, it made sense; Patty wasn't related to Wolfgang, and Patty had always been polite to Arnold. He'd never said a single word to Wolfgang's little sister, and she seemed more...conceited than Patty.

Arnold scanned the yard for Helga, but couldn't find her. Good, he thought. He assumed Helga wouldn't want him interfering this way, but he wouldn't be able to stop himself. The only thing more anxiety-inducing than confronting a bully was letting the bully torment someone else.

"Hey, Destiny?" Arnold's stomach twisted.

Destiny set down the book she was reading. "What? Who are you?" She was sitting at a picnic table, and Arnold was standing over her.

"I wanna talk about Helga Pataki. I know she trash-canned you and I know that was wrong, but threatening violence is never the answer."

Destiny's brows furrowed. "Why don't you mind your own beeswax, FREAK!"

That stung, but Arnold had prepared for it. He'd planned the whole confrontation in his head. "I don't think revenge will make you feel better. I know it never made me feel better."

"Shut up, weirdo! And get away from me!" Picking up her book, Destiny added, "You smell disgusting! You should wash your armpits!"

Arnold hadn't prepared for that. His face got hot with embarrassment, and he started tugging at his sleeves. "I...do...washmyarmpits."

"Get away from me!"

In the corner of his eye, Arnold saw Phoebe running.


For the very first time in her eleven years of life, Helga decided to ditch recess. She instead visited the school library, where she was greeted by a very confused librarian.

"You're looking for a self-help book?" Mrs. Stevenson's face wrinkled. "Could you be a little more specific?"

Helga had no plans to tell an adult that she was being blackmailed by a younger girl. The best case scenario was that they'd believe her, and interrogate Destiny about her little scheme. Whether they'd punish Destiny or not was irrelevant; as soon as she learned that Helga was a rat, Destiny would have nothing to lose by telling Wolfgang all the details.

"Never mind," Helga said. "Just point me to the section and I'll look around myself."

The self-help section was laughably small. There were two books about study skills, one about healthy eating, and one book written for autistic kids. There were countless other nonfiction books, but they were all about animals or outer space or history—none about dealing with blackmail or bullies.

None about bullies? What kind of school is this? Helga wondered if some other kid checked all of them out. She pictured poor Eugene carrying a whole stack.

"Did you find what you're looking for?" Mrs. Stevenson asked.

"Uh...no." Helga turned to face her. "Do you have any issues of Psychology Today?"

"The magazine?" the librarian asked, as if Helga's question didn't make sense.

Uh, doi, what else could I mean? Helga had seen Arnold read a few issues, though she wasn't sure if he got them here or in the mail or at the magazine stand.

"We don't have that magazine," Mrs. Stevenson said. "Would you maybe be interested in Study Habits Monthly?"

It took everything in Helga's power not to laugh. "No thanks," she said, and she decided to leave. Before she could, though, she bumped into Phoebe.

"Helga," Phoebe hissed, in a hushed library whisper. "We have a problem."

Since she, Phoebe and Mrs. Stevenson were the only three people currently in the room, Helga spoke at a normal volume. "What, Pheebs? What's the problem?"

"Arnold's trying to talk to Destiny. About you. And she's insulting him."

"What?" Helga wasn't sure if she heard Phoebe correctly. "Arnold's talking to Destiny?"

"About you," Phoebe said audibly. "She called him a freak and said he smells disgusting."

"WHAT?"

"Shhh," hissed Mrs. Stevenson, even though there was still nobody reading.

Helga was angry. Fuming, even. She realized she was the world's biggest hypocrite, but no one, no one, was allowed to bully Arnold. Not that Helga could do much about Wolfgang, but his sister...that was a different story.

She and Destiny were at war now, and Helga was going to claim victory.