Lin held her composure, trying not to think of the past events or the slight apprehension of Makos's call; he had said it was urgent. She walked into the investigation room, not noting the small audience that came to watch. Mako was in the interrogation room when she walked in. His arms crossed, showing his scarred arm off. Across a senior man who was a part of the water tribe, at least he was donned in furs and the colors anyway. He had the same ambiance most criminals underground would have, conceited and heartless.
"Detective," Lin said calmly.
She heard droplets, it was the rainy season after all. Ever since Amon, it had become a difficult season for her, each year not getting easier..
Lin blinked, and it seemed Mako had spoken. She missed half of what Mako said, only catching that the water tribe man was turning himself in. She didn't know why this needed her attention, but she trusted her detective. Mako hadn't noticed her lack of awareness. He turned to the older man, Haruk, or so he said that was his name.
"My, my Chief, you still are easy on the eyes despite your old age." Haruk whistled when he spoke.
"Cut the crap; what are you turning yourself in for?" She asked, harshly pushing a sheet of paper to him to write his statement. While he confessed his crimes on paper, he let the Chief know why this needed her attention.
"In 127, we kidnapped a young girl; she was the daughter of the Chief of Police." Mako's ember eyes narrowed, not liking where this was going. Was he talking about Lin or Su? Haruk continued looking pleased with himself. "The most beautiful little girl I ever laid my eyes on, still is." Haruk smirked, eyeing Lins's every move, realizing he had caught her off guard when she fortified, straightening her spine. She had not looked at him. His familiar eyes, like frost, twisted, frigid, and sick. She felt something wrench inside her; it was like being blood bent all over again. Was anyone else listening to this? That was all Lin could think about.
"Her mother had been on my boss's ass, and we got to pay it back; it was a sweet month and a half." Haruk eyed Lin for a response. Mako slowly processed the information, wondering why now? Lin, on the other hand, gave nothing; she forwent emoting anything.
"Her mother lied; she only ever got Yakone and not even since he got away." Lin looked through Haruk like he was an apparition. "Guess she was scared, weak, and not even the 'invincible' Toph Beifong could stop him." Haruk baited the duo.
"Why wait 47 years to confess to a crime you got away with?" Mako stood up as anger filled him
"I also come with a word of warning; Republic City is in for a trip in the coming months. That's all I will say." He casually slid the paper to Mako. It was the graphic details of a vicious gang assault and torture of a kid. Haruk's eyes lit up in sick elation as the pair read it over. "Best memories I have." He cooed.
It made Makos's skin crawl. People like that never made sense to him, to view a child in a sexual way. Lin's amour felt clammy against her skin, and there wasn't enough air anymore. The room felt tiny; she couldn't breathe. It all came rushing back to her. She hid it all with a stoned expression as if she was reading a newspaper article. She read stuff like this every day, but it was so violating when it was about yourself.
Mako felt his heartbeat quicken; this was about his boss.
"You will tell us everything you know." Lin didn't give Haruk an emotional response. It was what he wanted her to do.
"I did my part, I confessed. Like he said to. Maybe because I helped him get the ball rolling, I'll get what he took from me." Haruk was cryptic.
"You won't be getting anything but jail time," Mako announced with the utmost hostility,
"Who. Took. Your. Bending? Describe him now." Lin said as Saikan came in. Lin didn't move, her glare was dangerous. Saikan tapped his boss's shoulder. She couldn't question him any more. It was the rules. She wanted to murder him right then and there. Or be sick. She couldn't let him have control. He would say how they tortured her. She couldn't say the words. She hated how weak she felt and how she dreaded what was on the other side of the door, where the others were probably listening to his confession. She had no choice though. She clearly was biased and had to set an example. She marched out as untouchable as she could front. She didn't look at the others, they of course all had to be there. Her sister, long-time family friends, her officers and the rest of Mako's friends. If she didn't avoid food at all costs, she would be hanging over a toilet. She turned to watch with the others silently, focusing on the interview continuing in the room.
—-
Lin felt frustrated while watching Saikhan and Mako interrogate Haruk with how poorly they both were doing, as he got a kick out of people's sensitivities. He obviously enjoyed being graphic about his and Yakone's ring leading in victimizing Lin as a child. How many men were involved, how much it took to make her cry, then how she sobbed until he broke her. He talked of it like seduction, when it was just disgusting. She felt so ashamed and mum, as Haruk pushed the guy's buttons. Saikhan attempted to get control over the situation when he realized the man was playing them. It frightened the group as Lin would not emote anything; she was ice. She just took it. She wouldn't break down.
Tenzin looked over to his older siblings. He remembered Lin clinging to him at that age after she was gone for a few months. Bumi remembered the nightmare of her disappearance like it had just happened, but now he knew why her face was unrecognizable when she returned. What those men did to her... anger filled the cheerful man. Kya wanted to put her arms around Lin and assure her that the nightmare was over, but having worked with sexual assault victims, she knew better. She held onto Su to prevent her from making the mistake of touching Lin..
Lin focused on her breathing, looking through the glass as eyes burned on her back. She fought back all of her urges and anger was all she felt; somehow, these days it kept getting worse. "We're getting nowhere with this information." Lin crossed her arms, her voice not betraying how she felt inside; it sounded unbothered despite how upset she truly felt. She ignored all of the sympathetic looks, as they washed over her in waves. It made her feel like she would be sick. That feeling was back and she couldn't stand it; weakness. She wanted to disappear. She didn't understand it; the kids witnessed murders and all sorts of trials in their life. Why feel bad for her? She was nothing. She started to gag involuntarily and she tried to play it off. One of the darkest secrets she kept being exposed like this was a nightmare enough she couldn't be caught crying.
"Are, are you okay?" Opal asked her aunt, stuttering slightly as she wiped her eyes. She never had been exposed to such a disgusting person devoid of all humanity, and the worst part, he looked like her dad's father; a sweet older man. But the false smiles didn't reach Haruk's eyes.
"Never been better." Lin lied, she didn't want anyone to know, and she needed to get out of this room. She told them that she needed to check back in with Hong about the gangs to let her know when Saikhan and Mako realized they were being played. She closed the door behind herself and found herself walking to her office. The tears were pricking at the corners of her eyes, and her chest suddenly felt like it weighed as much as bolder as she had to move faster. When she got into her office, she locked the door and wedged a chair under the handle.
She sat under her desk after grabbing from her stash of drinks. She quickly downed the bottle; she had never finished a bottle that fast. She felt like every noise around her was amplified in her ears. Lin bent the bottom of her shoes so that she could press her bare feet to the earth, grounding her. She wanted to feel connected. She felt the tears run down her cheeks, but she couldn't connect to her own body. She didn't know why she was crying or what for. Her thoughts turned to Tarrlok; his aroma, the hurricane that was involved with him, and how it was like being aflame when they were together. She craved the heat even though she hated being burned, and she still felt his scorch when he betrayed her by blood bending her as Yakone and Haruk had.
It led her to think about how her mother hadn't come when she lost her bending; she's sure she knew, but then again, she never liked Lin. She always abandoned her after tearing her apart and claiming it was training; not knowing Lin slowly became a shell. Trapped in a cave and not knowing how to find light, she didn't see the warmth of love, its light, or security; she wouldn't know how to find it anyways.
Toph hadn't noticed what was happening at home or that she had been missing for two weeks. She supposed if it wasn't for Katara checking in and finding a fifthly, abandoned Su; who knows what would've happened. When she got home, her mom couldn't even speak to Lin. Her mother had gotten angry when she was unable to describe any of the kidnappers; just that they had hurt her for a month and dumped her nearly lifeless body in a dumpster to be a message. She couldn't even tell Katara the extent of the abuse and how they hurt her down there, despite Katara and her mother's asking. Toph told Katara she couldn't know if she was lying or not because her heart had been frantic the whole time, even if she didn't emote visibly.
Something Toph had taught her at a young age was to not show her emotions; she helped to build the walls that Lin had. Her lack of praise led to Lins's desperation for her approval. Her need for perfection. It all somehow led her to where she is now.
Everything happening right now, it all made her crave something she had not had since she was 16. She had to get a grip on her spiraling thoughts. She found something sharp, and she couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't get control. She needed it. She sliced at her skin steadily, the smell of iron and booze mixing under the desk. It made her feel right, despite knowing that it was wrong on so many levels. With the edge taken off, and being able to breathe evenly again, Lin got up to find the others.
The Avatar and her lover explained why they should spread out the police. That they still had no clue who bombed Yue Bay. While Mako elaborated on his theories and all the facts they had so far.
Raiko interjected despite not knowing what truly was happening. "I agree it would be wise to disperse the police. We don't know where they will attack next." He looked for Lins's response secretly.
Lin's eyes had widened for a split second; she had decided to stare at the floor the whole conversation, Kya eyeing her like a sick baby air bison.
"Interesting, wonder what suddenly made you so agreeable," Bumi quipped, his cheery lightness gone.
Raiko managed not to get caught looking at the Chief. He noticed she didn't seem like herself. Everyone else also seemed to eye her with concern every few moments. Lin didn't seem to be paying attention to the conversation anymore, she just stood there looking like a statue.
"I just realized it was the right thing to do. Helping people is my job." He attempted to charm them. "Speaking of helping people, I wish to extend an invitation to a gala I am hosting."
He had been busying himself with the preparations all week. He was throwing the gala to fundraise for his election and to celebrate the heroes of republic city. With the exception of Zhu Li and Varrick, but if they showed up, he would allow them in. He invited Team Avatar and their friends; Bolin agreed for them quickly as he loved Gala's. He focused on the young adults trying not to look at Lin in her uniform. He had to choose between her and Buttercup, but Lin never made it easy, even with Buttercup's news that she may be sick.
"There, of course, is a dress code. I recommend that everyone comes dressed in their best." It was clear he was talking to Lin.
Asami smiled, remembering how delicate he was when he spoke to Lin. Now he said he wanted to see her dressed up.
"We will return to this topic when the celebration is over," Raiko said when Mako opened his mouth to protest.
Lin didn't know how she got onto Air Temple Island. She looked around at everyone sitting in the dining hall, eating a meal awkwardly as they thought about the day's events. Pema attempted to keep the mood light; the aura was dark, she and Kya both saw that much.
Usually, Lin would be moving food around her plate, making forced small talk, and glaring at people until everyone stopped eating and she could leave the table. She was a professional in that. Isn't that dreadful? Was she not so awful? Lin knew she was because she wasn't even a complete person anymore, but wasn't even sure she ever was.
She's fragmented, with shards scattered around; close enough that she comes across whole on the outwardly, but detached just enough so that she could not make out the figure of who she was. She had lost all of her control, everything just smelled so good. She felt her mouth water, and she couldn't stop it. She couldn't remember the last meal she had had and a wave of nostalgia of better times when she was on the island filled her. This caused her to eat more than anyone had seen her eat.
"Do you want extras to take home, Lin?" Tenzin smiled at her, oblivious to her many dilemmas. He was worried about this Dark Avatar possibility, and not paying much attention.
"Pass. I'll be heading home now." Lin's tone was curt, but she was so ashamed and embarrassed from losing restraint like that. All day, she had been so fragile, as if she were submerging even in her thoughts.
The second she got home, Lin looked at herself in a mirror. It was a force of habit. She could barely see clearly on a good day. She had always wondered what everyone else saw even then. It wasn't what she saw even in the past.
She felt disgusting. She was soon on her knees, feeling hollow again. Everything felt like it was crashing down around her. She quickly leant over the toilet and got rid of all the contents of her stomach. It was the only thing she could do to feel as if she had control over anything anymore. She had tried everything, hoping to find a way to feel whole like cigarettes, alcohol, and distant relationships, but nothing ever did make her feel complete, just more alone.
When she felt she was finished, she decided to wash up in the hottest water, cursing herself. She wasn't sure if she was washing away the smell of food, the dried blood on her arms, or just the dirtiness she never felt would come off. She couldn't understand anymore; she had never been a crier, but something was burning inside that needed to claw its way out. Just when she got close to allowing it out, the phone rang - as it always did, and she was called back to work. She thought about it on the drive and it continued to stew inside her. Lin couldn't let it go; it was so foolish, but she couldn't let it go.
When she finally got to work she ended up getting a call from Raiko, he was hoping Lin would swing by Hibiki's high rise, he wanted to see what Hibiki is doing now. Lin groaned, they had a drug bust that she wanted to keep an eye on, but also it reminded her of things she didn't want to and she was sensitive to these matters. She decided to head over after finishing up.
She headed over to Hibiki's building. She avoided the paparazzi entering through the service vestibule. She didn't make eye contact with the workers as she headed to the glass elevator. When she got there, she noted his band was also there. They sounded like they were rehearsing; she hoped he hadn't forgotten that they had planned to meet when she gave him a ring earlier.
When the elevator door opened, his assistant motioned for her to head right over to Hibiki. When he saw her, he was all smiling. He noted she seemed down, but he was happy to see her.
"We're almost done; it turns out we got 'invited' to play at that gala Raiko is forcing." He said.
"I'm shocked. He hates you." Lin teased, coquettishly.
"Yeah, I'm surprised myself, but aye, you'll be there." He smiled at her.
"Brooding and hating every second, yes. Please, do upset Raiko for me." Lin quipped, as she absentmindedly played a few notes on the piano.
"Your wish is my command, love." He winked at her.
He calls for Bi Jin to bring his favorite girl a drink. A small man came out with a cute mixed drink.
"You tell that to every girl in Republic City?" Lin grabbed the drink and took a sip.
"Nah, he hasn't had a favorite girl since I want to say 146." His bandmates teased a blushing Hibiki while he got teased.
"You want to hear what we got?" Hibiki excitedly showed her what they planned. Lin offered her advice. They marveled over the Chief of Police having extensive knowledge of music.
"You might have to leave your job and join us, Lin," Khan said.
He smelled like lily weed, which wouldn't be legal for a few more days yet.
"That never will happen, and don't let me catch you guys doing anything illegal, or I will have to haul your asses to the station," Lin said, sure she was supposed to be finding dirt but she did like these guys. She already was against this investigation in the first place. She also was not thrilled that Raiko would not respect her rules on these things, she would never have an officer with past issues investigate somebody with the same substance issue. Nothing good could ever come from that. He insisted only she could do it. She darkly wondered about what would happen if Raiko ordered her to set up Hibiki. He made a habit of holding her job over her head. She was pulled back to the conversation by Han.
Han mumbled, "I like her, a real stand up chick. Cig?" He offered her a smoke.
"Mhm." She accepted the cigarette from him, and Hibiki lit it for her. She quit years ago, but slowly and surely she was getting back on the smoking procession.
"I wish Talroq was here. He is a good musician, though. Tsungi player." Sri chimed in.
Lin watched them rehearse, and then when the band took their break for lunch, Hibiki whispered a mischievous idea in Lin's ears. She smiled and admitted she's down. Knowing it would make Raiko angry.
She was enjoying herself. Then she felt silly. Soon as the others were gone, Hibiki was all over her; this affection and sweetness made her feel sick. She didn't deserve it -she was disgusting, but she wanted this free and debtless affection. "Are you having a bad day?" He asked her softly, arms around her while they laid on the couch. She looked into his amber eyes, as he waited for her to talk.
"I craved opiates for the first time in a long time, " Lin admitted feeling deeply ashamed even if it was 40 years ago. It was a dark secret of hers.
"That bad, huh? I'm sorry. When most people say I know how you feel, they don't mean it, but I do. Plus, with your back, how is it, by the way." He laid a soft kiss on her lips.
"It's fine, I'll be fine," Lin whispered.
"It's okay if you are not fine. You need some time to yourself. Maybe I will steal you away, take you to sing with me back home in the Fire Nation." He took her hands in his, stroking her hand softly.
"I wish, but we both know I can't do that. Aren't you worried about being seen with a cop's daughter, Chief of Police myself, when you're a cop hater? Besides, I like my job; it's the people giving me orders I don't. You know I once had the City at the lowest crime rate in the world. Now look at it. It's impossible with things like the council and the president." Lin looked up at his beautiful ceiling, where a sky was painted on it. She tried to think happier thoughts, because she still felt awful. But she kept being transported back to time when she was kidnapped.
"You're not like them, you're a good person, you give a shit about people. Do you want to talk about today at all? I'm worried about you. Besides, you're doing your best to keep this City from devouring itself." Hibiki murmured into her neck. He could feel her sadness, and he hated to see it.
"Many of my officers gave a shit, but people like…him, I don't know how to feel about him." Lin expressed her confusion over this love triangle that was developing. She avoided answering about what happened today, feeling choked up even thinking about it, but she couldn't cry.
Hibiki noted this, and he quietly wondered what to say to her. How to let her know that she was safe to talk to him, when she was ready.
"I wish you did. You would be with me fully, but I'm happy to have any of your attention. I might break more laws, though, if you are too friendly with that asshole." Hibiki teased. Hearing Lin snort made him feel better.
They talked for a while, before she left. She was back in her office by the time his band returned to rehearse.
