Hello! So, the last chapter may have seemed...weird, but it is a part of the plot! You see, I have the entire plot planned, and I just need to write it down. And since structuring the plot is very important to me, I have to put in events that lead to one thing and then another. I am sure, if I could publish all this at once, as a book, you'd understand my motives.
For now, all I can say is...we're almost there! :D
Thank you for your appreciation and love for this story! And patiently waiting for the next chapter! But you won't have to do too much waiting this time as chapter 25 is in the works and will be published this weekend. Hopefully.
As always, happy reading!
Feeling like a face in the crowd, Hermione clutched her books tightly against her chest as she walked with swift strides to reach the 7th floor. She was missing Transfiguration, but she didn't care. Besides, she was super late and wasn't in the state of mind to take a class. Professor McGonagall would understand.
Her head was full of thoughts and Hermione felt exhausted by them. She forced herself not to think, but her conscious being kept recalling what went down with Harry a few minutes ago.
Hermione was tired. Tired of hiding herself. Tired of pretending. Tired of trying. She just wanted to put a stop to her weariness and come clean. About everything. This secret...it was becoming too much, especially since her friendship with Harry was turning more and more complicated. If she didn't let it all out, she would surely burst.
But in the back of her mind, Hermione was afraid. What if letting it all out messed up things further? Wasn't she avoiding that in the first place?
She was holding onto the hope that maybe...just maybe...Harry was jealous. But he had made everything about himself again, so Hermione didn't know what to believe in anymore.
Feeling frustrated and sad, she entered the portrait hole, crossed the entire common room in trampled steps, and went up to her empty dormitory. Both Lavender and Parvati were attending class, which was good as Hermione really wanted some time alone with herself.
Crookshanks was the only occupant apart from her. Like a majestic beast, he observed his owner as she threw her book bag aside and stared at herself angrily in the only mirror of the room.
"You're a coward, Hermione Granger." She gritted her teeth at her reflection. "There's no hope for you. You'll just let your anxiety take control when it should stay away. You'll never get the guts to spill out the truth!"
Her reflection frowned. The next thing Hermione knew, her eyes had glistened, and tears started streaming down her cheeks.
Oh, you're pathetic, she thought to herself, brushing the stupid tears away. You're just going to cry yourself a river instead of actually doing something, aren't you?
Hermione hated how her mind was right. Launching into loud sobs, she threw herself on her bed, missing Crookshanks by inches. He gave a startled "Mew!" and looked at her like she was crazy.
Hermione didn't care about anything then. She just buried her face in the bed covers and cried, not knowing how to stop. Why did things have to be so complicated? Why couldn't she confess? What was wrong with her?
Why did she ever agree to go out with Theodore?
After the big argument with Harry, Hermione was second-guessing everything, including her agreement to be Theo's date.
Maybe...Harry was right. Maybe Theodore did ask her to be his date so he could use her for Umbridge. Or to get back at someone. His friendly behaviour could be an act. After all, he was a Slytherin.
Hermione sighed, burying her face further in the bed folds. Who was she even kidding? A Slytherin, a boy she had never spoken to, suddenly asking her to be his date out of nowhere was fishy enough on its own. But Hermione, fearing that she would have to go to the dance without a date, had blindly accepted his proposal, even if she knew his motive seemed bad. What else could you expect from a Slytherin and a member of the good-for-nothing Inquisitorial Squad?
She had to admit one thing, though. Even if she kept telling herself she didn't care about the dance, she did. Oh, she did. Wasn't it why she had accepted the very first request that came her way? Because of her desperation to avoid getting singled out, she had stupidly agreed to be Theodore's date instead of refusing him, which was obviously the right thing to do. The dance was still almost a week away, and who knew? Someone nice, trustworthy, and familiar could have asked her to the dance. Wouldn't that have been much better?
It's all because of Harry, Hermione bitterly thought. Why is it always because of him?
But she was aware of the reason. Her fear of being an 'old maid' at the dance might have impacted Harry's impression of her, which strangely wasn't the reason why she had agreed to go with Theodore. Either way, it backfired, didn't it? As Harry now thought she didn't care about him – which was as true as Rita being a reliable reporter.
"Oh, Crookshanks. Stop it." Hermione groaned. The cat had been pawing her forehead for the previous few seconds. "Are you hungry? Do you want food?"
But when she turned her face up, Crookshanks nestled close to her, his whiskery face tickling her cheeks. Hermione smiled at her trusty pet despite her reddened eyes and stuffy nose.
"I'm fine, Crookshanks." She rubbed her eyes and smiled wider. "See?"
But he purred louder and rubbed his face against hers, making her laugh.
"Oh, you. Come here."
Surprisingly, Crookshanks didn't object when Hermione pulled him into her arms. The comfy cat ambience calmed her down greatly, and soon enough, she had started conversing with him – a habit she got when her emotions were high and she was in solitude.
"Oh, Crookshanks. Why are boys so complicated?" Hermione sighed. "Why is Harry so complicated? I thought I understood him completely, but I don't even know how he'd react if I ever told him about my feelings."
Crookshanks just stared at her blankly, but Hermione was grateful for a listener.
"Whatever I do, I consciously do it thinking if Harry would like it or not. Maybe agreeing to be Theo's date was a part of that..."
"But...nonetheless...what if Harry was right?" she confessed. "What if I did sell myself to the devil just because I care about the dance? But I think...I think I did that because of him, too."
"You know what, Crookshanks? I'm so tired of making everything about Harry, even in my unconscious mind. I love him, but I hate how he's always the centre of my life. I mean...I have my own problems to worry about! The OWLs, what career I should choose, how do I meet my parents' expectations. Aren't these more important things?"
Crookshanks licked his paw, obviously not understanding her, but Hermione continued her spoken reverie.
"I guess the only way I can stop thinking about him is by telling him how I feel. But..." she paused, shaking her head. "But...I'm so scared. What would he think? What would he do? That'd seem so sudden, wouldn't it? Would he be shocked?" she said, envisioning his face. "Would he think I'm crazy? Would he love me back?"
Would he kiss me?
Hermione sighed. So many questions and none of them had good answers.
"Thank you for listening to me, Crookshanks." She caressed his fur. "I'm so tired of bottling everything up! I just want to tell all this to somebody. You're an amazing companion, but I want to really feel heard." She suspired. "But who can I talk to?"
The answer came to her when the door suddenly burst open.
"There you are!" Lavender exclaimed, her blue eyes popping as she stepped into the room. "Where have you been? Why didn't you attend class?"
Hermione groaned and sat up. "Just didn't feel like it..."
"Really? Are you okay?" Lavender asked, sitting beside her on the bed. "Harry told us you weren't feeling well."
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Oh, he did, did he? You ask him why that is..."
"Did you two fight?"
"No, we didn't! It's just...he's so stupid sometimes."
Lavender smirked. "Well, boys will be boys, don't you think?"
"You think boys are stupid?" Hermione asked with a ghost of a smile.
"Oh, yes. Sometimes. Anyway!" Lavender grinned. "I heard."
"Heard what?"
"Theodore Nott!"
For some reason, Hermione blushed.
"Wow, Hermione. I didn't expect you to accept a Slytherin's proposal!" Lavender declared with a mischievous grin. "Forgetting it's strange; he's the cutest one in their group, right?"
"Yes...I think. But we're limited only to the dance."
"But he's from the Inquisitorial Squad! It's so weird for him to ask you of all people –"
"Oh, trust me. I've already heard the lecture."
"You mean...from Harry?"
Hermione sighed and got up to see her reflection in the mirror. "Yes. He wasn't thrilled."
"Of course, he wouldn't be!" Lavender declared, shaking her head. "We all hate the Inquisitorial Squad! But...well..." Her expression turned dubious. "If this...thing is just for the dance...I guess it's okay? Besides, he's really cute! I think you've hit the Slytherin jackpot!"
Hermione smiled weakly at Lavender through the mirror. She was obviously trying to cheer her up and not feel bad about herself...but she also knew what her friend was actually thinking – couldn't she just decline? Is she that desperate?
Hermione took a deep breath and stared at her pale reflection.
The time for lies was over...
"I guess..." Hermione declared, avoiding Lavender's gaze. "But...what's the use of this jackpot? If the person I'd hoped would ask me – didn't?"
"What are you talking about?"
"I mean." She frowned sadly at her friend. "I was hoping someone else would ask me. But he...didn't."
"Someone else? Who?" Lavender asked – before gradually realising what Hermione really meant, making her mouth drop open.
"Wait...do you like someone?!"
Hermione nodded, restraining laughter. This was going better than she'd expected.
"Oh, wow. Hermione..." Lavender gasped, coming up to her and grabbing her shoulder. "Who is it?"
"Well..." Hermione threw a snarky grin at her friend, deciding to put her to the test like she had done with her mum. "Can you guess?"
"Hmm...well, it's definitely not Nott, as you said it was someone else." Lavender laughed, making Hermione chuckle. "I can guess, but I think it'd be better coming from you." She gained a playful grin before adding. "So tell me, Miss Granger. Who is this lucky boy?"
Hermione laughed again. "I wouldn't say lucky!"
"Of course he's lucky! He managed to capture the attention of the brilliant and beautiful Hermione Granger!"
"Oh, stop it..." Hermione blushed. "He did, but he doesn't know it."
Lavender raised her eyebrow. "Like I said...boys are stupid sometimes. Now, come on! Tell me before..." Her vision landed on Crookshanks. "Before curiosity kills the cat!"
"That's not how it works and you know it."
"Either way, the curiosity will kill me." Lavender giggled. "It's surprising to hear this directly from you, you know? I'm glad you're telling me. Now, come on! Spill!"
"Okay, okay!" Hermione exclaimed with a smile, shaking her head. She knew she could trust Lavender. Not only would she keep her secret, but Hermione would also finally have someone to rant out her feelings and get listened to, for once, in return. Talking to her mother was one thing, but the circumstances would be completely different since Lavender was a part of their group.
But Hermione had something to do first.
She fixed Lavender with an urgent look. "Before I tell you, I want you to promise. Promise me you won't tell a single soul about this."
Lavender's eyes widened. "Of course, Hermione! Why w–"
"No, Lavender. You need to promise," Hermione insisted, "This is my biggest secret. I'm afraid of letting it out, so I haven't told anyone what it is. Well, except for my mum, but she doesn't count. But I want to tell you, Lavender, because I trust you and you'd understand and –"
"Hermione, you don't have to say all this." Lavender squeezed her hand for support. "I promise. I won't tell anyone. At all."
"Not even Ron."
"Okay. Not even Ron."
"Not even when you think it's the right thing to do."
"Okay...not even then."
"Promise?"
"I promise." She pressed her hand on her chest. "Cross my heart and hope to die."
Hermione sighed. This was getting difficult. But she didn't have a single doubt in telling Lavender. It was the prospect of disclosing this secret to a friend.
But the moment of truth couldn't be delayed much longer.
Hermione attempted to smile and said, "I like someone who knows me inside out...but doesn't know me enough to think I might fancy him. He cares about me a lot but has too many troubles of his own, which I wish I could erase. He's my best friend, but I...I wish we were more than that. I wish he didn't see me like a sister! And didn't feel obliged to protect me at every chance he got."
The answer was pretty clear. Lavender's blue eyes shone as she whispered.
"Is it...Harry?"
It was incredible how fast Hermione's face turned red.
Lavender's mouth dropped open. "Oh my..."
"Please don't think I'm being weird!" Hermione interrupted her in a shrill voice. "I haven't told this to anyone because Harry obviously doesn't like me back. If he got to know about this...somehow..." She buried her face in her hands, overcome by embarrassment. "I won't be able to live with myself, Lavender! But I still can't get over him...it's like he lives in my veins or something, running through me like blood. It's so...frustrating."
Lavender stared at Hermione, speechless.
Of course, she could understand her. In fact, she was doing more than just understanding her, for Lavender had once been in Hermione's position. All those years of having a crush on Ron, which turned into unrequited love, almost drove her up the wall.
But she got what she wanted, didn't she? No reason Hermione couldn't get it, too.
Now that the initial shock had subsided, Lavender was happy. She was thrilled Hermione had confided in her, but she couldn't say anything as Hermione was still going on with her rant.
"I know it may seem...ridiculous to you, but I've thought about this a lot! I know, I really know, that Harry and I've always seemed as close as siblings. Which is true on his side because he frequently sees me as his sister...but I don't want him to! This...this intimacy made me think about him in ways I should not, Lavender. And I'm tired and frustrated of pretending everything is okay, and that I'm just looking out for him – when in reality I want him to know what he's doing to me..."
On and on Hermione went, looking like she had lost control over her words. Watching her blabber, deep pity settled in Lavender's heart. It was obvious that Hermione was finally freeing her conflicted thoughts out of their mental cages in an unbroken flow, causing Lavender to empathise with her. She could only imagine how Hermione lived with herself with all these powerful emotions jammed inside her for so long, especially when the reason behind them was the person she was the closest to here...
But life being ruthless was nothing new to Lavender.
"Hey, hey," she spoke up, stopping Hermione in mid-sentence. "I'm so sorry you had to go through all that, Hermione. It feels like you had no one to talk to about this. Am I the first person?"
"Yes...I've also told my mum, but only the gist." Hermione sighed. "Oh, Lavender. I'm sorry. I don't want to burden you with my problems."
Sometimes, Lavender couldn't understand how selfless Hermione was...
"Are you crazy? Of course you can!" she exclaimed, hugging her friend, "Hermione, you have my ears, okay? I want you to tell me everything. Everything you'd held inside yourself all this time. Trust me, it'll make you feel so, so much better. But only if you want to, obviously."
"I want to." She bit her lip. "But what if somebody overhears us?"
"No one will. I'm sure."
But Hermione wasn't taking any chances. She opened the dormitory door to check if the coast was clear, then came back inside after shutting it firmly.
"Come here," said Lavender, patting the space beside her on her bed. "Talk. I'm listening."
Hermione sighed again as she obeyed her. Taking a long, deep breath, she launched off into voicing the topic that once existed only in her mind.
The more she talked, the more amazed Hermione became, causing her speed to increase. Hearing herself say the words she had only thought about was like having her own Pensieve as her mind felt lighter as she spoke. Lavender's empathic face was just a cherry on top.
Hermione told her everything. How she had developed a crush on Harry. Why had she developed a crush on Harry. How things were becoming more and more difficult as they grew closer. And how she couldn't stand any of it and wanted to come clean to him, but couldn't because of their intimate friendship.
"Sometimes, I think our friendship is both a blessing and a curse," she told Lavender, "It's because of our friendship I started to like him. It's why I get to be even closer to him...but also why I can't tell him anything."
"Harry's just so...complicated, Lavender. I thought I knew him inside out, but I don't even know how he'd react if I ever told him what I feel for him. But...if I had to guess, I'd say he'd be shocked and would think I'm being crazy."
"And why are you getting such ideas?"
"Because it's obvious! Harry has implied indirectly that he has no interest in me. He'd rather follow shallow-minded, pretty girls like Cho Chang, even against my better judgement..."
"Wait, how has he implied he doesn't like you in that way?"
"He calls me his sister! He says he looks out for me because he cares about me. He hates the idea of Theodore taking me to the dance because he doesn't want to see me hurt." Hermione sighed, shaking her head. "Honestly, I'm glad he worries about me, even in a brotherly way. But...I just wish it didn't make things difficult between us..."
"Hmm..." Lavender contemplated out loud. "Sounds like Harry's under the shadow of your friendship."
"What?"
"Look, Hermione. Harry caring for you this much isn't just because he's your best friend. Does Ron care about you that much, too?"
"Well, not exactly..."
"See? My point is...Harry does see you in a different light. A...what do I call it...a non-platonic light. He sees you like the girl he has to protect no matter what, and from what you've told me, you're the most important person in his life."
"I wouldn't say the most important –"
"He's confused. He doesn't understand if he's looking out for you because you're like a sister he never had..." Lavender smirked. "Or if he's looking out for you because you're the girl he wants."
"Oh, shut up." Hermione blushed furiously, making Lavender laugh. "If that was true, he wouldn't be chasing Cho, even though he knows she's bad for him and his mind. He's into beautiful girls, even if they're selfish jerks who only care about their dead boyfriends."
At this sudden display of anger, Lavender stopped laughing and looked at Hermione with concern.
"Hermione, don't let that get to your head, okay? Cho may be pretty from the outside, but she's ugly as hell from the inside."
"That's so true," Hermione agreed with gritted teeth. "I hate her, Lavender. And it's not because she's Harry's girlfriend, but because I absolutely hate the way she uses him as a...a mere replacement of Cedric, or someone who would talk about his last moments." She sighed shakily, her heart suddenly becoming heavy. "I hate it. I hate how he's hanging on by a string of hope that she'd distract him from his troublesome mind when she's doing the exact opposite." Now her throat felt heavy. "He's such an amazing and lovely person, so kind and humble, and I hate how he's being treated like this. I wish he'd come to his senses. Oh, I wish I could do something about it! I try to give him as much affection as I can, but it's simply not enough! I want to show him my love, kiss him, and tell him that it'll be okay." Her eyes glistened. "But I don't know how to."
Without warning, she started to cry.
Lavender sighed. "Oh, Hermione..."
"Why do things have to be so difficult?!" Hermione sobbed. "Why does he care about me so much, compliment me a lot, make me feel special, call me beautiful and brilliant, and I still can't figure out his intentions? Why can't he figure out his intentions? Why are we so stupid? So senseless? He's still a mystery to me, and for what?!"
Attacked by her never-ending questions, Lavender wrapped Hermione in an embrace, letting her speak her heart out.
"It never gets easy." Hermione cried. "It's getting more and more difficult to keep this a secret while Harry has no idea about it. I'm tired, Lavender. I don't have any more energy left to do this. I want it all to stop!"
Hearing these words out loud made them even more real. Hermione was shattered. She never knew a once-simple crush could turn into...this. This secret burning love for the person you cared about the most...but could never confess to them.
"I'm hopeless. This is all hopeless..."
"Oh, Hermione. I understand," said Lavender, patting her back, "I know the feeling of not being able to confess, but yours is way more complicated –"
But the rest of the sentence hung in mid-air, for the dormitory door had flown open. Parvati entered the room – and stopped when she caught sight of the girls, one of whom was sobbing.
"It'll get better. I promise," Lavender resumed as if nothing had happened.
"Um, are you okay, Hermione?" Parvati asked awkwardly.
"She's fine," Lavender answered for her.
Suddenly, Parvati's confused face twisted into a bitter one.
"You sure you're okay, Hermione? I hope Lavender isn't snooping on your personal business, too."
"Not now, Parvati..."
"You should get away from her. She only makes things worse." Parvati rolled her eyes. "Like having the nerve to approach your sister and blowing things off."
"I just asked her if you were always an idiot or just got this way. No big deal..."
Lavender's nonchalant response angered Parvati. She clenched her fists as she spat out. "Don't you dare come near my twin sister or her friends ever again, you hear me? What's going on in my life has nothing to do with you anymore. So dump your stupid, self-centred self into the rubbish or something, for all I care."
Her outburst was so brusque that Hermione stopped crying. She and Lavender looked at the other girl in disbelief.
But Lavender felt rage building up inside her, and she snapped before she could resist. "You know what, Parvati? I don't care for you or for your sorry life anymore. Now, if you'll excuse us, you're snooping on our personal business."
Parvati stared at her, at a loss for words. Without saying anything, she turned around and left the room with an ear-shattering slam of the door.
Lavender sighed. So, that was it. She and Parvati were no longer friends.
But instead of feeling sad, she felt...relieved. As if she and Parvati were two birds locked in a cage of friendship, and somebody had freed them, allowing them to spread their wings and fly off in opposite directions.
And that suited her just fine.
Hermione was looking shell-shocked as Lavender turned back to her. "Wow...that was so mean."
"Nothing new. I'm glad she's gone." Lavender shrugged. "Now, where were we?"
Instead of replying, Hermione reached forward and squeezed her hand. "Do you want to talk about it? I'm here."
"No, no, Hermione. It's fine." Lavender shook her head. "I don't want to spend more time mulling over her." She beamed. "Now, back to the Boy Who Lived."
But Hermione searched her face with her reasoning eyes. Lavender had just lost her best friend, making it seem like she had no one left...
Hermione's chest felt heavy at such a thought. Without warning, she threw her arms around Lavender and gave her the tightest hug of her life.
"Oof, Hermione! Can't. Breath."
"Sorry." She loosened her grip. "You're an amazing person, Lavender. Inside out. Don't let Parvati tell you otherwise! Losing a gem like you for a best friend? That's her loss! But don't you dare think you're alone, okay? Because I'm here. You're my best friend. And I mean it."
The sincerity in her words silenced Lavender, and when Hermione pulled her into a hug again, she found her eyes welling up.
She wasn't crying over her broken friendship; she was crying because of how caring and selfless Hermione was. She was a beautiful person, and she deserved the best this world had to offer. And if that best meant Harry, then Lavender swore to herself she would get them together and save Hermione from heartbreak.
"Thanks, Hermione," she now said, "You being here is –"
But she stopped as she had noticed her cheeks wet from her tears.
"Oh, I didn't mean –"
But Hermione smiled through her still-wet eyes.
"Why are we such crying messes?"
Lavender tentatively smiled back. "Cause we're vulnerable yet strong?"
The answer was so wicked that Hermione started laughing. Then Lavender started laughing, too. Not knowing why, the situation had become very funny, turning the sad tears rolling down their cheeks into joyful ones.
They collapsed on the bed, laughing, their hair splaying out all over the sheets.
"Oh, why is life so complicated?" Lavender sarcastically asked in a doleful voice.
"Because it's life!" Hermione answered, her cheekbones hurting from all the laughter.
"Now, back to business," Lavender declared, "Tell me everything about Harry. What did you mean by his unclear intentions?"
Something about being crazy with Lavender had cleared all the mildew from Hermione's heart and mind that was forcing her thoughts to stay in. Now, she was ready to talk.
Without missing a beat, she told her all about her conflicted relationship with Harry.
For some minutes, the room was only filled with Hermione's voice as she recounted everything to Lavender and everything that had been hidden in her mind in a wistful voice.
When Hermione finished speaking, she let the silence hang in the air for a few seconds as Lavender speculated her account.
"So...what do you think?"
The blonde girl nodded her head as if agreeing to a thought, then declared.
"I think...by the looks of it, Harry needs a little push."
"What are you talking about?"
Lavender looked at Hermione as she replied.
"I think Harry likes you, too."
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Oh, come on, Lavender. He obviously doesn't."
"I think he does. Honest."
"Well, if that were true, he wouldn't be chasing Cho in every nook and corner." Hermione sighed, absently caressing Crookshanks's fur. "He knows she's bad news, but he still keeps giving her a chance...it's beyond me."
"Maybe that's because he's not sure what he wants!" Lavender proclaimed excitedly, "He's very bad at emotions, isn't he? Didn't he admit it himself?"
"Yes, he did. But –"
"He needs a girlfriend for his distractions, right? But the only girl who makes him feel serene and at peace is you, which he thinks is wrong because you're his best friend, and he's bound to feel that way with you! He thinks he shouldn't see you in more than a platonic way because of your long-running friendship. Unsure of what he should do, he keeps hanging on to Cho, hoping she'd give him what you give to him. But that has evidently failed, and since Harry's not someone who admits defeat, he's determined not to give up. Cho was his first crush, after all."
Hermione stared at Lavender as she finished speaking. Everything...seemed to click into place. Lavender was making a lot of sense, but Hermione still believed it was too good to be true.
"I don't know, Lavender," she argued, "And I've given him so many signs but he –"
"Thinks you're just being a friend!" Lavender finished, her eyes shining, "Look, Hermione, you said so yourself. Harry's a very confused person when it comes to expressing himself, isn't he? The kind of relief you give to his mind is unmatched! And there must be a way to make him realise that because it's obvious he doesn't know a single thing!"
"Then what do you suggest I do?"
Hermione's question led Lavender to ponder – until a big smile brightened up her features.
"We need to make him understand...and let him confess to you!"
"Oh..." Hermione marvelled at the possibility of such a scenario. "That can never happen."
"Of course it can!" Lavender exclaimed with sheer enthusiasm, "No reason why you should be the one to approach him when he can approach you! No, correct that; he should approach you! He isn't the one living in misery because of unrequited love. You are! You deserve to hear those words from him first, Hermione. You do."
"Lavender..." Hermione sighed, then stopped. She had to admit this idea had never occurred to her – but why would it? Harry showed no signs of liking her back like she wanted him to.
Unless...
She recalled back to the previous few days. Had their intimacy increased? If she thought about it, would a boy compliment his girl best friend all the time? Ron didn't, but then again, he was completely different from Harry. And Harry...did he do that to cheer her up? Then what about this...change that she could feel between them? The Harry she once knew wouldn't have shown so much dislike for her going out to the dance with Theodore, even if he was a so-called enemy. Harry was always too caught up in his own world to focus on anything else...and that bit of him was evidently changing.
Was Lavender right? Did Harry need a little push to come in the direction Hermione wanted him to? What if it worked?
I guess it's worth a shot.
"Lavender," she said, picking up where she had left off, "I think...you're right. Harry needs to be the one to start things off between us...if it ever happened."
"Oh, Hermione. It will happen!" Lavender insisted while combing her hair in front of the mirror. "You two make the perfect couple. I can totally imagine what your wedding would be like."
The comment was so ridiculous that Hermione laughed. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves."
"It's possible!" Lavender set her hairbrush down and turned to Hermione. "Now, how do we begin?"
"I was hoping you'd tell me that." Hermione sighed. "I have no idea."
"Well, I guess the stars have aligned." Lavender beamed despite Hermione's downcast face. "You couldn't have chosen a more perfect time to tell me all this."
Stumped, Hermione raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"
"The dance!" Lavender declared, her blue eyes shining. "It's less than a week away!"
"Oh, I don't know about that..." After her argument with Harry, the event seemed like a burden to Hermione.
Her slumped shoulders and downhearted features moved Lavender. Somebody needed a pep talk.
"Listen," she said firmly, "The situation may seem hopeless to you, but it doesn't hurt to try! You've been trying to win him over with your little signs, but he's too dumb to differentiate between what he sees and what you see, okay? So, it's time to take the next step. What's the worst that could happen? It's not like you're directly telling him what you feel."
"I know! It's just..." Hermione heaved a sigh. "It's like...I'm deceiving him somehow. I don't want to do that. I care about him too much..."
"And so does he!" Lavender countered, smiling so Hermione could smile, too. "You won't be deceiving him, Hermione! You'll just show him what he's missing out on by living your best life! It's like...driving him to realisation! Of course, that'd be his choice, but one last push, don't you think?"
"Okay, okay," Hermione said and put on a brave face. "I'm ready."
"Good. I'm only trying to help you, you know." Lavender clarified, biting her lip dubiously. "If you're uncomfortable, we can stop –"
"Oh, no, no!" Hermione interrupted her at once. "I'm glad you're helping out, Lavender! I wouldn't be able to do this on my own. I mean, I didn't even get this idea! You did! And you're right – just one last attempt, and then we can all go back to our lives."
Easier said than done.
Lavender mirrored her smile. "Okay, okay. Cool."
She sat down on her bed again, a contemplative expression taking up her face. "Okay so, the dance. What will you wear?"
"Uh, the Yule Ball dress I wore last year?" Hermione answered, taking a seat beside her. "I haven't mailed my parents yet, but –"
"Oh, you can't wear that!" Lavender exclaimed, "I mean, you looked beautiful in it, Hermione, but everyone has already seen it. You need a new dress!"
"But I don't have one! I'd need to buy it."
"Perfect! We can go shopping in Hogsmeade together!" Lavender grinned. "I need a new dress, too! Good thing they are letting us students visit this weekend."
"Well, okay then," Hermione said, a gradual smile coming to her face. Shopping together? She had never shopped with anyone except for her mum. Being deprived of female friends was to blame, but there was a first time for everything...
Suddenly, the whole idea seemed interesting to her. "But how would I choose? I need the perfect dress!"
"We can always go to the store where we got our Yule Ball dresses!" Lavender excitedly said. "They have a huge variety. And it's only female wear, so we wouldn't run into Harry or Ron!"
"Great! I hope we don't." Hermione smirked at her. "So, you want to surprise Ron, hmm?"
"Well, of course!" Lavender laughed. "It's our first event as a couple together and I want to look my best!" Her glitter faded as she added in a serious tone. "When you're trying to impress your crush, you have to outdo yourself. So, tell me, what's Harry's favourite colour?"
"Red," Hermione answered immediately, then turned crimson. "It's my favourite colour, too."
"That's great!" Lavender grinned. "You'll kill two birds with one stone! So, we'll be searching for a red dress..."
Hermione nodded at her with a smile. So much for wanting my life to stop revolving around Harry.
But a part of her knew she wanted this. Wanted him. More than anything in the present moment. Besides, only the truth about their friendship could free her from its jail, so what was the harm in making it happen?
"We can always change the colour, too," Hermione now added, "The colour-switching spell can do the trick."
"Oh, yeah. Forgot about that." Lavender stood up and looked Hermione in the eye. "And now, for the date –"
But Hermione cut in before she could continue. "No, Lavender. I don't think I should go with Theodore."
Lavender's mouth dropped open. "Why not?"
"Because it's obvious!" Hermione shook her head. "What a weird choice for a date. A Slytherin from that stupid Inquisitorial Squad. I don't want to dance with that freak!"
"But you just had a big argument with Harry about how he's nice and all," Lavender countered, "So where is this coming from?"
"He's a Slytherin. Meaning he can be double-faced without a problem." Hermione rolled her eyes. "He's on Umbridge's side, and I hate that witch."
"But think about this plan! Going with Theodore –"
" – would make Harry jealous, I get it," Hermione finished for her and sighed. "But I don't want to! It's so strange and sudden..."
"I think you've forgotten what I'd just told you, Hermione," Lavender said, suddenly sombre. "To win a boy over, you have to outdo yourself! Meaning you have to even go out with the guy you really hate just to get on your crush's nerves. Trust me, if it was Malfoy, I would have encouraged you even more!"
"As if I wouldn't have killed myself before going out with him." Hermione laughed.
"That's the point!" Lavender laughed, too. "See, besides bewitching his mind, you have to make him bothered, too! Harry's obviously looking out for you when he said you shouldn't go out with that Slytherin. So seeing you at the dance with him will surely drive him to the edge because he'd be watching his every move! His emotions would be so high that he'd even want you for himself!"
"Really?" Hermione asked, entranced. The idea of Harry wanting her for himself was alluring...
"Really," Lavender affirmed. "You dancing and laughing with Theodore would annoy him a lot!"
"As much as watching him and Cho together would annoy me," Hermione said, her face growing resolute. "Okay, I'm in. I'll go with Theodore."
"Great!" Lavender smiled. "Trust me, Hermione. You just have to look perfect and really enjoy yourself, and Harry will be yours faster than you can even think!"
Hermione laughed, the dream appearing a bit too far away. "That's too fast."
Feeling overwhelmed by Lavender's genuineness, Hermione hugged her once again. "Thank you so much. You're amazing!"
"Oh, come on, Hermione. It's the least I can do!" Lavender hugged her back. "You brought Ron and me together, and I just can't wait to see the same for you and Harry."
Hermione laughed at her sentiment. Strangely, the plan that had seemed stupid before now turned exciting, mainly because Lavender was in on it.
Reminding her again that even if the scheme was about Harry, under no circumstances could Lavender leave off hints to him. About anything. He was up to his own devices. Lavender swore she wouldn't.
They finished up this conversation, and then Hermione turned to more pressing matters.
"Did you take any notes in Transfiguration?"
Lavender turned pink and smiled. "Sorry, no. I was too busy being mad at Parvati."
Finding this funny, the two burst into giggles, their joy resonating with them as they went downstairs.
Just like how it was after classes, the common room was bursting with energy. Almost every space was occupied, and most of the younger students were marvelling at Fred and George's new products that could help them get excused from class.
"I like to call this one the Balloon Pop!" Fred announced with a grin, brandishing something that resembled a little white pill to the onlookers. "Just one dose and you're good! Would make your head swell up like a balloon!"
"That's so dangerous!" Hermione whispered to Lavender, casting an unapproved look at Fred as he encouraged a first-year to try the strange pill.
"Oh, let them." Lavender laughed, her voice drowning out because of the ruckus. "It's not like they've ever succeeded."
"But what if someone got hurt –"
"Look who's here!" A voice called, interrupting Hermione. She realised they had approached the table occupied by Harry and Ron.
Ron, who had called, grinned at Hermione as she and Lavender sat down. "So, you hate Transfiguration now?"
"Come on. Leave her be," Lavender said, "She was hassled."
Hermione sighed, refusing to look at the other boy at the table. He seemed strangely quiet...until he addressed her as she was pulling a quill out.
"Hermione?"
She looked up at him. Harry was holding a stash of parchments.
"Yes?"
"Sorry for making you miss class." He sighed, shaking his head. "But don't worry! I made notes for you."
"You did what –"
Hermione gasped when she looked through the parchments he had handed her. Each one was filled with detailed notes of the lecture.
"I hope it's enough?" Harry asked doubtfully.
"I really hope it is. Wouldn't even let me talk because of taking down those damn notes," Ron grumbled.
"Yeah. Because you don't know how to bloody whisper," Harry retorted.
"Whispers are for losers," Ron commented, making Lavender laugh.
"That's so sweet of you, Harry," she said with a meaningful smile. "And Ron? You do need to work on whispering."
"What? You're afraid I'll spill your secrets?"
Tuning the two out, Harry focused on Hermione as she flipped through the coarse pages.
Then her face lit up, a smile turning her lips upwards – a reaction he had been hoping for – and it alleviated him.
Looking at the notes, Hermione felt like her heart would burst. Harry usually didn't listen to lectures, much less take notes. So the fact that he did this for her...it made her happy. Made her smile.
"Oh, Harry. Of course it's enough!" Hermione told him, beaming. "Thank you. Means a lot to me."
"Yeah, well. Didn't want to make you feel like you're behind," he said with a little smile.
Suddenly, Hermione felt something in her give out. As if the gravity that held her down had vanished, and she was lifting up in the air above the sea of heads like a ghost – translucent but light. Or as if she was flying through a meadow on a broomstick, with the wind hitting her face and hair, and her heart resisting to stay in the same spot.
There was a reason why Hermione knew she'd shatter if the plan failed. This wasn't about a boy who paid her no attention, gave her no importance, and made her feel bad. This was about a boy who uplifted her at every chance he got, went way beyond the call of duty to look out for her, and made her feel like she was someone special who deserved the best this world could offer. Knowing how important she was to Harry, Hermione felt like the luckiest girl alive, so the idea of losing him as someone more than just a best friend was disheartening. And cruel.
She was afraid of what the future had in store for them.
"With such detailed notes, I'm sure I'll be ahead of everyone," she now said to him, attempting to kid around.
"Glad I could help," he replied as he pulled out a small book about Occlumency tricks. Snape was expecting him to learn at least five of these before the next lesson.
With Harry occupied with his book and Ron engaged in a conversation with Lavender, Hermione shifted her eyes to the special parchments once again. She lightly brushed the words with her fingers, marvelling at their neatness, the little ink blots among the words looking like dancing pixies under the candlelight. His handwriting, which was usually dirty, was clear and legible, showing the effort he'd put in. Hermione could almost see Harry's determination to get every word right and not miss anything. Just for her.
Her heart bloomed as she traced her fingers across the rustling parchments, envisioning his hands writing these very words for her. This act...this simple act was so selfless and caring that it made her feel soft and serene inside. She wanted to lean down and kiss his handwritten words, brush her lips against those letters, imagining they were his lips instead of mere ink fabrications...
The effect he had on her was incredible, and what was more? He didn't know anything about it.
She was lost in her musing until –
"Hermione?"
The sudden call almost made her jump. She turned around to find Neville.
"Yes, Neville?"
"Um..." He scratched the back of his head. He was looking extra nervous for some reason, his pale face turning pink. "Uh...I wanted to ask you something."
Hermione's ears perked up, and so did the other three's. Ron and Lavender stopped talking, and Harry looked up from his book.
"Sure? What is it?"
Neville took a deep breath, then said in one go.
"I hope I'm not too late but will you go to the dance with me?"
Oh no...
Hermione froze in shock, overcome by the situation. Her brain stopped working, but she managed to look at the other three. Ron was smirking at Neville, Harry had raised his book once again, but he was clearly waiting for her response, and Lavender's eyes were wide open as she gave a little headshake, her message vivid.
No! Think of the plan! This would ruin it!
But would that justify upsetting Neville? Making him feel worthless? Hermione didn't have the heart to say no to him, especially since she had rejected him last year, too, when Viktor had asked for the ball.
Then what about the plan? It would surely fail if she disregarded Theodore for Neville. Harry wouldn't be bothered by him. In fact, he would be absolutely delighted, meaning that the entire scheme she and Lavender had just put into effect would fail, and Hermione didn't want that.
But she also didn't want to let Neville down.
But she wanted to annoy Harry.
She sighed, the vacillation creeping into her brain. She had to make a decision.
So, she forced the words out even though they stung.
"Oh, Neville, I would have loved to go with you, but...somebody has already asked me..."
Silence prevailed over their table at her response. Somebody sighed behind her. Harry.
Good, it was already affecting him.
But Neville's face was the worst treat. Hermione's heart started to ache as he looked down.
"Well...that's okay."
"I'm so sorry, Neville. But I had promised –"
"Oh, no. It's okay, Hermione." He smiled. "I didn't ask you soon enough."
Hermione sighed, hurt travelling all across her body. Neville obviously conjured some bravery to ask her to the dance, and seeing his efforts go futile...
Suddenly, an idea popped into her head. It was a crazy idea, but an idea indeed.
Plus, she was desperate.
"Don't worry, Neville," she exclaimed, jumping up and grabbing his arm, "You don't have to mull over this. I want you to meet someone. Come on!"
Neville gave her a bewildered look, and so did her other three friends, but Hermione ignored them all and pulled the boy out of the common room and into the hallway.
"She's very nice. Very sweet. And special, like you!" Hermione rambled as she took Neville down the stairs, hoping that she would find the said girl in her usual spot. "I would love for you to meet her."
With Neville in tow, Hermione went inside the entrance hall and turned left, vigorously praying that the girl was there and didn't have a date yet. She had told Hermione she didn't in today's private class, and Hermione saw this as a miracle.
A huge sigh of relief escaped her when she caught sight of her friend, reading the Quibbler upside down, exactly where Hermione had thought she'd be.
"Luna!" she called, pulling Neville behind her. "Hey, I'm sorry to bother you, but there's someone I'd like you to meet."
Luna looked up, and she and Neville locked eyes for a moment, the latter turning pink at the exchange.
"Neville, this is Luna Lovegood," Hermione introduced them breathlessly, "Luna, this is Neville. I'm sorry, this may seem very short notice, but you two should go to the dance together. It'd be fun!"
"Hermione, I don't think this is a good idea..." Neville murmured.
"Trust me, Neville. It is!" Hermione countered, grasping at straws. "Luna is a very...um...enlightening person. Wouldn't you say that, Luna?"
"I think so." Luna sighed, suddenly looking forlorn even if her face appeared nonchalant. "But the girls in my class say I'm weird."
"Of course you're not weird!"
"They think I'm twisted in the brain –"
"Er, sorry...to interrupt," Neville suddenly said, looking at Luna with awe, "But...are those...Puffapods?"
His question caused Luna to grin widely, and her eyes popped up.
"Yes!" she said in a misty voice, touching her purple and pink earrings. "How strange...you're the first person who knows."
"Well, they aren't exactly a common plant." Neville laughed before he could stop himself. "In my room, I have a Mimbulus Mimbletonia, and people often mistake it for a cactus. So, I'd know why people might think Puffapods are just flowers."
"Amazing," Luna said, her blue eyes shining eerily. "I have a Mimbulus Mimbletonia back home and people always think it's a cactus, too."
"Plants, huh?" Neville grinned sheepishly.
Soon enough, the two had launched into a conversation about herbs, flowers, and other Herbology terms Hermione wasn't familiar with. Watching them talk, she felt like her heart would explode. She was so grateful the two shared an immediate connection. Who knew the plans she had in the spur of the moment could work so well?
Elated and relieved, Hermione left the two talking and bounded back to the common room. She was happy Luna and Neville had clicked instantly, and maybe, just maybe, a friendship could be formed.
But out of a sudden, Hermione's smile faded as a thought befell her mind. What if Neville saw this as her strategy to get him out of her hair? Even if Luna was an interesting person?
No. Hermione refused to dwell on this. He looked happy. That was all that mattered.
Sighing and shaking her head, she weaved through the crowd. Since it had created the possibility of Neville getting hurt, Hermione hoped this entire plan was worth all the trouble...
