CHAPTER FOUR

Karma arrived back at her temporary home, having said a passionate farewell to Felix at his place. She probably wasn't being fair on him, or on anyone else, herself included, but she was done caring. She'd tried caring last night and this was where it had got her.

Her mood wasn't improved when she headed upstairs to be greeted by a giggling Amy and Sabrina emerging from Amy's room, their clothes askew. Her raised eyebrow seemed to have no effect on them, apart from Sabrina giving her an embarrassed smile "Hi, Karma."

"I will see you later,"Amy told Sabrina pointedly, giving the other girl a lingering kiss goodbye.

Karma at least managed to wait until Sabrina had disappeared downstairs before sniping,"Found a new best friend to sleep with, have you?"

"And why not?"Amy retorted. "Like you haven't just been sleeping with Felix?"

"Well, I guess we've got a lot in common,"Karma replied. "We're the ones you experiment with while you work out what you want."

She meant to storm off to her room. And Amy meant to let her but after Karma had gone past she called out,"Karma, wait!" Something in her tone made Karma stop and turn. "Please don't let it be like this. Before we kissed or slept together or whatever, we could tell each other everything. Can we not fall out? Can we just get that back?"

Karma laughed at the irony of it. "Funny, I feel like I've spent months saying the same thing to you. Now I decide I want more and you…what, you've moved on?"

"I've just accepted it's not going to happen,"Amy replied. "Whatever you feel or think you feel, we both just have to accept we're only going to be friends."

"I accept we're friends,"Karma agreed.S he extended a hand and Amy gratefully accepted it. "But I'm going to prove you wrong one day."


Things had calmed down considerably since Amy and Karma had reconciled. Amy had carried on seeing Sabrina, while Karma was mostly off doing her own thing but they still spent time together in the evenings sometimes. Their friendship seemed to have been saved and she was happy in her relationship.

The first sign that today wasn't going to be as calm and comfortable as she'd thought was when Lauren came barging into her room without knocking. "Why did you give me such bad advice?"she demanded. "Are you trying to ruin my life?"

"Hi, Lauren, good to see you too,"Amy replied as calmly as possible before giving her a bewildered look. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about Liam!"Lauren snapped. "Why did you make me think he'd given me an STI? I went to a clinic to get checked out and he found out and now he's really hurt about it and he's barely spoken to me in days, which is pretty hard when we share a condo!" Lauren suddenly seemed to sag, her anger spent, and sat down on the bed next to Amy. "And I'm missing him."

It had occurred to Amy over the last few days that maybe she'd been a bit too negative when she spoke to Lauren but she hadn't given it enough thought to actually try and talk to her again. "I'm sorry,"she said quietly. "I shouldn't have judged you or Liam. It was your business and what do I know about it? It's not like I'm an expert on relationships or anything."

Lauren looked askance at her, pausing before speaking again. "Do you regret that Liam was your first time?"

Amy considered her answer carefully, thinking about her own feelings and those of the girl who was Liam's latest sexual partner. "Less than I used to,"she said at last. "I mean, I wish that my first time had been a special night with someone I loved, rather than…drunken revenge sex. But in some weird way, sleeping together led to us becoming friends. So now I can think 'Who was my first time? Oh yeah, Liam. Liam's okay.'" She smiled in amusement. "And at least he knew what he was doing."

"Oh yeah." Lauren lapsed into silence and processed this for a moment. "I think mine was,"she said at last. Amy looked at her in confusion. "A special night with someone I love."

Amy couldn't help but be surprised. "You love Liam?"

"I think so, yes. I wasn't expecting it, I thought he was a bit too…dopey for me. But living with him, it's felt like home. I like spending time with him, I miss him when he isn't around."

Amy looked at her sympathetically. "Then I think you need to let him know how you feel, before it's too late."

Lauren gave her a sad smile. "Did that work out well for you and Karma?"

Amy sighed. "I think that one is too late."


Karma lay in Felix's bed, with him alongside her, having pretty much given up pretending she wanted to be there. Sex with Felix was…all right. That was the most she could say about it. It wasn't a horrible experience, but it wasn't something she particularly wanted to do again either. It didn't have the spark of the connection she'd felt with Amy or even the fun of her times with Liam. It was just something that happened.

Having felt she'd stayed long enough to be polite, she got out of bed and started getting dressed. "Are you all right?"Felix asked her.

"Yeah, yeah, sure,"she confirmed before giving up any real pretense. "I don't think we should do this anymore."

Felix sighed. "Wow, was it really that bad?"

"No,"Karma lied. "But I don't think I see you that way. I think we're better off as friends. I'm sorry."

Felix shrugged. "No, no, friends is good."

"I hope you find someone who's right for you." Karma left as quickly as possible, cursing herself for starting this. If she was honest, her main reason for dating Felix had been to get a reaction out of Amy, which had been a complete fail. So what else could she do?

That was when an idea occurred to her.


Karma knocked on the door and waited. A few moments later, the door was opened and she was greeted by a shocked expression. Which didn't surprise her at all. She'd have been equally shocked if the positions had reversed. "Karma!"

Karma nodded politely. "Hey, Reagan."

Reagan seemed to take a few more moments to work out what the correct response should be. "Do you want to come in?"

Karma headed into Reagan's house. She stopped in the hallway and turned to look at the other girl. Reagan continued to look bemused. "So…did you want something?"

Karma took a deep breath. "I need a girlfriend."

Reagan didn't understand any better. "You want me to set you up with someone?"

"No…I mean you. I want you to be my girlfriend."

"Okay, you'd better explain this fast because I feel like the world just turned very strange."

Karma struggled to explain something that had seemed quite logical when she'd first thought of it but now seemed quite strange. "Because of Amy. She doesn't believe that I like her so I thought…if I had a girlfriend, maybe she'd think I was serious. And you're the only lesbian I know."

Reagan tried to grasp the sense of this. "Last time I checked, Amy liked you and you only liked her as a friend. What, is it the other way round now?"

"I think Amy does still like me,"Karma insisted. "And I like her the same way but she won't believe me. So maybe if she can see that I can date a girl, she'll give me a chance."

"And what's in this for me?"

Karma took a step closer and gave Reagan the most passionate kiss she could manage.

Reagan nodded. "Okay, I can work with that."


If Liam had been hoping for a quiet night in, those hopes were quickly dashed when he was greeted by Lauren storming out of her room, waving a packet at him. "What's this?"

"It's a packet of condoms,"Liam answered, hoping that stating the obvious might get him out of this conversation.

"I can see that! What was it doing in my bedside drawer? Did you put it there?"

Liam nodded awkwardly.

Lauren stared at him accusingly. "Why?"

Liam had a worrying feeling that whatever he said now was going to be wrong but he gamely tried anyway. "Because…I know you were worried when we didn't use one before and so I thought, well, if you had some to hand, then it wouldn't be a problem again. Not that I'm expecting you to sleep with me again!I just mean that, well, if you had some, then it wouldn't be a problem with whoever. Not that I'm saying you're going to sleep around!" Liam felt like he'd dug himself a big enough hole and stopped talking. "I'm sorry, I'll take them back," he said at last, reaching out for the packet.

Lauren pulled it away from him. Somehow, when she looked at him again, her expression had softened. "I don't think you should do that. I think we should use them." Before Liam could process this, she kissed him, softly but intensely. Then she took his hand and led him to her room.