JENNIE

"We're heading out!" Lisa's voice rang down the hallway.

"Wait!" I yelled, hiking up the band of my maternity jeans as I came out of the bathroom.

When you had to go every three minutes, pants like this were a must. My plan was to keep enjoying the abundance of spandex and Lycra for as long as possible post-pregnancy too.

I had the huge band back in place as I came down the hallway.

Lisa was grinning as she stood by the door. She had her winter coat on and a beanie over her hair. She wore knee-high snow boots that laced all the way up her calves. They made her already bulging thighs look even beefier.

A shiver ran down my spine as I walked into her arms. She wrapped me up, kissing my hair before whispering in my ear, "Marry me."

"No," I whispered back.

She grunted. I'd decided it was her way of cussing without words.

It had been a month since she'd told me about her brother and asked to marry me the first time. She must have asked at least three hundred times since.

And each time, I'd turned her down.

I stepped out of her arms and looked up at her beautiful face. "Please watch out for creatures with big teeth."

"It's winter. Most of them are asleep." She patted the holstered pistol on her hip. "But I have this just in case."

"Stop worrying, Jennie. We're not going far." Jisoo walked over from the kitchen, wearing attire similar to Lisa's. Though her pants didn't have a dark stain on the knee from the wood shop, and her coat was rip-free.

I looked back up at Lisa. "Make sure my boss doesn't get lost in the woods."

"You say that like you'd actually miss me." Jisoo feigned shock. "Does this mean you've finally realized how much you need me?"

"Only to sign my paychecks. But I'm this close to perfecting your signature." I held my thumb and index finger an inch apart. "After that, you're dispensable."

Jisoo laughed and rolled hrr eyes. "Let's go, Andi!"

Her daughter came running out of the guest bathroom, zipping up her black snow bibs. Rosé followed behind her, carrying a neon-green winter coat that matched her snow boots.

"Happy hunting, guys." The three of them were heading up toward the ridge to cut down a couple of Christmas trees.

"Jisoo Park, I'm begging you to get a reasonable tree this year." Rosé tugged a gray stocking cap over Andi's head. "Six feet. Seven, tops. I can't have another ten footer like last year's."

"Sure, baby. We'll get a smaller one." Jisoo winked at Andi, who winked back. She'd be coming back with a nine-and-a-half-foot tree, no doubt.

"Don't do that winking thing with each other." Rosé crossed her arms. "I won't decorate anything over the seven-foot mark."

"I'll do it," Andi chimed in.

"Problem solved." Jisoo kissed Rosé's cheek and shuffled Andi outside into the snow.

"I'm doomed." Rosé laughed, going to check on Alex and Abby, who were playing in the living room.

"Do you have any requirements?" Lisa asked.

"Green."

"Done." Lisa brushed another kiss on my lips. "Love you."

"Love you too. Be safe."

About three weeks ago, she'd seen signs of a mountain lion around the area during a hike. I liked cats, but cougars were not on my list of animals to see up close and personal. Lisa had called the game warden to come up and see if they could relocate the animal, but their search had turned up empty.

There hadn't been any signs since and it was unlikely the animal would come anywhere near us, but Lisa wasn't taking any chances. Which meant any time I went outside, even to check the mailbox, she was my escort. She'd also decided we were getting a dog—one the size of a wolf.

But for now, Lisa carried her pistol with her everywhere and they weren't wandering far from home.

With axes in hand, Lisa and Jisoo set out up the trail toward the ridge. Andi trudged behind them, dragging a blue sled so she could collect her own mini tree for her bedroom. I waved at them all, then closed the door before too much cold air could seep inside.

"How are you doing?" Rosé asked as I sat on the couch beside her.

"Good." I rubbed my obliques. For once in my life, they were rock solid. "Things are starting to get tight though, and I can't tie my shoes anymore. Lisa's been sweet and puts them on for me."

"Has she kept up with the proposals?"

I smiled. "She asks me at least five times a day. She even upped her game last night and produced a ring."

"What!" Her eyes got wide. "Where is it?"

"I'm not sure. When I said no, she pouted and hid it somewhere. But it is gorgeous."

She'd bought me an eternity band. The entire thing was made up of diamond halos set in rose gold, and it was truly a piece of art. The stones weren't enormous and the ring wouldn't weigh heavily on my finger. I didn't need a huge jewel to flaunt or dazzle people with its brilliance. It was the perfect ring because it was just so . . . Lisa.

It was understated but powerful, much like her furniture. It was simple and beautiful, much like our relationship.

"So she keeps asking you to marry her," Rosé said. "She loves you. You love her. She bought you a ring. Remind me why you keep saying no?"

"We need time." I shifted on the couch, trying to get comfortable.

"Just to play devil's advocate here, is that because you don't think you'd accept after you got to know her?"

"Jisoo is rubbing off on you," I teased. "She thinks playing devil's advocate is the best job ever."

"Right?" She laughed.

"But no, to answer your question. I want to marry Lisa. I love her more than I've ever loved another person."

This real love, this deep and profound feeling of being with the one, wasn't something I'd understood with Kai. We hadn't had true love, we'd had convenience. It had been easier to stay together than break apart. Kai and I had been content but never truly happy. Never truly in love. We'd never had the passion I had for Lisa.

I wanted to make an everlasting commitment with Lisa.

Just not yet.

"I want time for things to settle." I blew out a long breath as one of the babies pushed against a rib. "There is no rush. I'm not walking down the aisle pregnant, so we can enjoy this time together and just . . . be."

I didn't want any new labels slapped on us right now. Wife. We'd get to those in time. First, I wanted some time to just accept things as they were. Label-free. Then, we'd tackle being parents. After that, we could decide what was right for our family. Together.

The past month since Lisa had confessed everything about her brother had arguably been the best thirty days of my life. And without secrets looming and me pushing Lisa too hard to reveal them, it was the best month the two of us had ever had together.

Lisa laughed and talked to me while we made dinner. She touched me and kissed my hair while we were watching TV. She held me in her arms at night with one arm under my head and another resting over my belly.

She was proving to me her love, whether she knew it or not. Her simple gestures, like taking out the trash or making me bedtime tea or massaging my lower back when it ached, were more meaningful than any of the marriage proposals.

"I know it seems crazy," I told Rosé. "But things between Lisa and I have gone so fast from the beginning. When I was with Kai, we dated for years before we got married. I knew all about him. And that didn't turn out well, but there's something to be said for knowing what kind of toothpaste your partner likes best. Or how much cereal they eat in the morning. Or how long it takes them to shower. I just want to know Lisa and settle in together before the boys are born."

Rosé nodded. "That makes sense."

"We're getting there. And it's been nice living together."

A few days after Lisa's confession, I'd come home from working the morning at Jisoo's to find everything from the cabin here. The coffee table from the cabin was in the living room, the one I'd bought now at the cabin. Her clothes were in my closet, her tennis shoes and boots were next to my heels. And she'd declared the garage was now her domain.

She hadn't asked me to move in, she'd just done it. Because this was our life. Our home.

"Has she told you more about her brother?" Rosé asked.

"Some." I nodded. "It's hard for her to talk about."

Though she was talking about Isaiah. To me. It was by far the best of the simple gestures she'd made over the last month. I trusted her to talk when she was ready. She trusted me to listen. She trusted herself not to go into a rage.

She still got angry whenever she spoke about her brother, but she kept herself in check. There were no porch chairs hacked to pieces. No dishes had been shattered on the floor. Lisa would ball her fists and pace the room as she spoke through gritted teeth, but she wouldn't shut down.

I didn't blame her for her anger, and I understood why she'd kept it all from me. The way her muscles would bunch and her normally loving eyes would turn cold, she was a different person when that pain and anger took over.

She didn't trust herself when she was so mad, but I did. Lisa would sooner cut off her own hand than lift it to me in anger.

"She's so hurt, Rosé. About her brother and all that happened. I wish there was something I could do to help her find some peace."

Rosé knew all about Lisa's past. She'd shocked me by suggesting I share it all with a friend. She didn't want me carrying the burden alone, and while her tendency was to keep things bottled up, she knew I wasn't wired that way. So she'd driven me down to the bar one afternoon and left me there to eat pizza and confide in Rosé.

"Jisoo and her sister went through a rough time right after we got together."

"I remember that," I told her.

Rosé sighed. "I don't know if I handled it right or not, but I just tried to be supportive. I let her vent when she needed to get her frustrations off her chest. And when they eventually made amends, I never held anything against her."

Jisoo's sister, Yuna, was a spoiled brat. Or at least, she had been. Jisoo had told me that Yuna had been trying harder lately to become more responsible. She was finally growing up.

But the issues between Lisa and her brother were in an entirely different stratosphere than the squabbles Jisoo had with Yuna.

"I doubt Lisa will ever forgive Isaiah. Making amends isn't something I think she'll be able to do. And I don't blame her for it. But I do want her to find some peace with it. Not for Isaiah's sake, just her own."

The death of her daughter had tainted all of Lisa's memories of Isaiah. I didn't expect the siblings to work through their issues, especially while Isaiah was in prison, but I did want Lisa to get some closure.

"It'll fade," Rosé promised. "You have these babies. You two live your life. The anger will fade."

"I hope you're right." I smiled, then shook off my heavy heart. "Are you guys all set for Christmas?"

"Ready as I'll ever get. Jisoo's family gets here next week so that's always hectic. But it will be nice to see everyone. When does your family arrive?"

"Same. Next week. I'm really excited to see them. This year has gone by so quickly with the move and the remodel. Then everything with Lisa and this pregnancy. It feels like I haven't seen them for years, not months."

I'd never been this excited for a Christmas as an adult. One nice thing about having Lisa's cabin empty was it gave my parents a nice getaway spot for their two-and-a-half-week vacation. My brother would sleep in the guest room here when he arrived the following week.

"Is Lisa nervous about meeting them?"

I shrugged. "If she is, she's not telling me. I think she's more nervous that her mom has a nice time."

Suzanne was coming up on Christmas Eve to spend the holiday with us. She'd had three years of holidays without her children. When we'd called to invite her up, she'd been so happy we were including her in the festivities that she'd cried.

She wouldn't admit it out loud, but Lisa was overjoyed too. She'd been busy this last week making her Christmas gifts. She'd built Suzanne these beautiful wooden cutting boards and candleholders. I think she was anxious to show her mom her talent had grown over these last three years.

My phone on the coffee table chimed. I groaned, summoning the energy to get up. Getting off the couch was as difficult as hot yoga these days. And I'd end up just as sweaty.

"Don't." Rosé stopped me, handing over the phone. "Here you go."

"Thank you. Speak of the devil." Suzanne's name was on the screen. "Hi, Suzanne."

"Hi, Jennie." Her voice sounded off, not as cheery as when she normally talked to Lisa and me. There was a whirring in the background too, like she was driving. "Is Lisa there?"

"She went out hiking to get us a Christmas tree and didn't take her phone. Is everything all right?"

"I need to talk to her. And I'm so sorry, but I won't be able to come up for Christmas."

"What? She's so excited you're coming."

"I was excited too." She sniffled. "But I won't be able to come now. I, um . . . I just really need to talk to Lisa."

"I can have her call you as soon as she comes back."

"Thank you. And I'm so sorry to be missing your family. Please give them my best."

"O-okay," I said, stunned. "Bye."

She hung up, and I turned to Rosé. "Well, that was weird. Lisa's mom isn't coming for Christmas after all."

"Why not?"

I shook my head. "She wouldn't say. Which was the odd part. But it sounded like she was upset and driving someplace. Lisa needs to call her."

"Do you want me to go and find them?" Rosé offered.

"No. I doubt they'll be gone too long. She didn't say it was an emergency so we'll just give it time."

I summoned the energy to push myself off the couch, then I went to the kitchen and made the kids a snack, getting Rosé and me each a bottle of this delicious cream soda I'd found at the grocery store.

Suzanne's phone call put a damper on my time with Rosé and the kids. As we watched them play, my eyes were constantly drifting to the door. Finally, an hour and a half later, it opened and three red-nosed and huffing faces came inside.

"Mama!" Alex raced across the room to her mama.

Rosé was right on her son's heels, peering around them to see the trees outside. Her face fell into a frown when she saw the massive tree strapped on top of their SUV. Its tip hung over the front windshield and the trunk extended well past the bumper.

"Seriously, babe. You're killing me." As she rolled her eyes, Jisoo just grinned as she stomped the snow from her boots.

Lisa grinned as she came inside. The tree she'd gotten for us was propped against the house. "I'll put it in a stand later this afternoon."

"Okay." I nodded, though the excitement for our first Christmas tree had also dimmed because of Suzanne's call. I stepped out of the way so they could all come inside.

Rosé helped Andi out of her snow gear as the guys shrugged off their coats.

"Your mom called a while ago," I told Lisa as she pulled off her hat. "She wants you to call her, but she said she can't come for Christmas."

"What?" Her forehead furrowed. "Why not?"

"She didn't say."

She frowned, then walked over to the kitchen to get her phone. Her boots left small globs of snow along the wooden floor. She lifted my bottle of cream soda off the island and took a sip, then grimaced. "I don't know how you can drink this. It's liquid sugar."

"It's yummy." I rubbed my belly where the babies were jiving. "Your boys love it."

Her eyes softened, then she dialed up Suzanne and said hello. But her good mood fled as Suzanne spoke, and Lisa's shoulders stiffened.

Rosé and I shared a look as she guided the kids through the living room to give her some quiet.

While they sat at the dining room table, I walked to Lisa and leaned against the counter, trying to catch her gaze. But she was silently fuming, her grip on my soda bottle getting dangerously tight.

"What's wrong?" I whispered, but she ignored me.

The next moment, Suzanne must have said something shocking. Her entire body flinched before stringing as tight as a rubber band.

Had someone died? Was Suzanne having health problems? My mind was imagining bad scenarios, one right after the other, when Lisa slammed the bottle in her hand down on the granite island. The bottle shattered, sending fizzing soda and glass shards flying.

I jumped and the kids screamed at the deafening noise.

Jisoo came my way with worry etched on her face. She stood by my side, but I kept my focus on Lisa.

"He was supposed to get five years," she gritted into the phone.

My heart dropped. This was about her brother.

Suzanne's voice grew louder on the phone, her pleas coming through loud enough for me to hear. "Lisa, please. Don't get angry."

"He deserves to be punished!" Lisa roared. "But I see nothing has changed. You're still taking his side."

Rosé scooped up Abby and grabbed Alex's hand, nodding for Andi to follow her out of the dining room and down the hallway to the other side of the house. Jisoo watched them go, then refocused on Lisa as she inched closer to my side.

"No," Lisa snapped. "He earned two more years for what he did. And to hell with you both if you're going to defend him. I'm done with all this. You. Him. And if the justice system isn't going to teach him a lesson, if his own mother won't hold him responsible, then maybe I'll teach him that lesson myself. He killed my daughter!"

My heart raced frantically at her words. Lisa had never threatened anyone before, and she'd never talked about revenge or retribution. Rage rolled over her shoulders, filling the kitchen like a dark fog. Her hatred infected the air, chilling it to ice.

This was the side of Lisa she'd been trying to hide. The person out of control and so full of anger she was blind to the world around her.

Maybe if I touched her, I'd be able to bring her back.

I stepped closer, lifting a hand to Lisa's forearm, but with one long stride, she paced out of my reach. Before I could take another, Jisoo gripped my elbow and held me back.

And then the phone went flying across the room. It crashed into the thick, wooden door and fell with a loud clang.

"Lisa," I gasped. "What happened?"

She didn't say a word. The look in her eyes was feral as she swiped her truck keys from the dish on the counter and went right for the door. She stepped on her phone with a boot heel and destroyed it completely.

"Lisa!" I wanted to rush after her, but I wasn't wearing shoes and the floor was covered in glass from the broken soda bottle. If I could just touch her, if I could just get her to look at me, she'd calm down. She'd take a breath and snap back to reality.

But she was on a mission, striding out the door and into the cold without a backward glance.

"Lisa!" Jisoo called after her too, but it did no good.

Lisa's truck engine rumbled to life. Then she was gone.

I sidestepped a piece of glass, only to step on a smaller one. "Damn it!"

"Where's she going?" Jisoo asked.

"I don't know." I picked the glass off my foot and backed away. I ran my hands through my hair. "I don't know. Maybe to drive around and blow off some steam. Or . . ." My stomach fell. "Or she's going to confront her brother."

I might not have heard the entire conversation, but it didn't take much to piece it together. Isaiah had been released from prison. Or he was being released. Suzanne wasn't coming to Christmas here because she'd be spending it with her other kid.

I went to my phone and pulled up Suzanne's number. It rang immediately to voicemail. I tried it again, only with the same result.

If Lisa was going to find Isaiah, I had to get there first. I had to stop her. But I had no idea where Suzanne lived or where I could find them.

"I need your help," I told Jisoo.

"Anything."

"I need to find out where Lisa's mother lives. I need to know when her brother, Isaiah Manoban, was released from prison. What time. Where. Any information you can get me."

"I'll call Mike." Jisoo whipped out her phone, dialing her personal assistant's number.

While Jisoo talked on the phone, I rushed to the hall closet, pulling on some shoes and a coat. Just as I was zipping it over my belly, Rosé came rushing to my side.

"What's happening? Are you okay?"

I shook my head. "I have to go after Lisa."

"Is that safe?"

"She won't hurt me. She just needs to calm down."

This wasn't like her panic attack, where Lisa had needed space to come to terms with the changes in our life. This was something else, something I'd seen time and time again when the fury from her past was taking over. She didn't need space to get through this.

What she needed was me.

"Mike's digging," Jisoo said, joining us. "He'll call you as soon as he finds out what's happening."

I nodded and grabbed my purse from the kitchen counter. "I'm going."

"Jennie—"

"She needs me." I cut off Rosé's protest. "She's going through so much. She needs me. And I need to be there to help her through this."

"But—"

Jisoo placed a hand on her wife's arm. "Call us if you need anything."

"Thank you." I went right down the hallway toward the garage where the Tahoe was parked. But before I could disappear from sight, a chilling thought settled in my mind. My heart plummeted.

"Jisoo?" I called over my shoulder.

"Yeah?"

"Did Lisa take off her gun?"