Previously…

Edward and I talked to Carlisle about our label problems, and I added that they restricted us as artists. We wanted to do more as musicians, but we felt like we couldn't because we were on a Disney-based label.

Our families tried to tell us otherwise, but we wouldn't hear it. We just wanted to do our music our own way. We signed a lot of papers regarding our release, and a week later, we released a formal statement made by Carlisle to the general public.

~oOo~

Songs Used: "For the First Time"- The Script

"Hometown Glory"- Adele

The fans, our friends, and family didn't know how to think of us leaving Hollywood Records after 14 years. Especially the fans. Some were confused, others upset, others sent us angry letters, tweets, messages and video responses. But amidst all of the craziness, there were still a few good ones left that understood where we were coming from. Media outlets came outside of our house to try to get us to talk to them, but we didn't respond.

This media frenzy reminded us of my experience in rehab, and how everyone wanted to hear from me, but I couldn't. Only this time, it involved our careers and not personal problems.

We couldn't release an album, but we still had our Youtube and SoundCloud accounts, so we used those. We released 2 new songs, both recorded in our home studio.

It really frustrating, and it took a toll on my health. I felt sick all the time, literally sick with worry, stress, and back to being worried, and Edward felt worried just as much as me!

Rose and Alice thought I was pregnant for a moment, because I'd been sick, but when I took a few pregnancy tests, I wasn't. In a way, I was sad, but in another, it was good because we weren't prepared for a baby right now.

Edward made a song for our struggle with our music, and I cried when I heard it.

She's all laid up in bed with a broken heart,

While I'm drinking jack all alone in my local bar,

And we don't know how,

How we got into this mad situation,

Only doing things out of frustration

Trying to make it work but man these times are hard,

She needs me now but I can't seem to find the time,

I've got a new job now on the unemployment line,

And we don't know how,

How we got into this mess

Is it god's test?

Someone help us 'cause we're doing our best,

Trying to make it work but man these times are hard

But we're gonna start by

Drinking old cheap bottles of wine,

Sit talking up all night,

Saying things we haven't for a while

A while, yeah,

We're smiling but we're close to tears,

Even after all these years,

We just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time

~oOo~

Edward and I took a trip to Forks to get away from everything for a while.

Everything looked so different since being away for years. It looked so much clearer because I could hear my own thoughts after being in a busy city for a while. Everything in Forks was so open and clear; I could actually breathe and feel comfortable again. Unlike in Seattle, I could hear my thoughts again. I saw beauty in the small buildings and houses, the little shops that clustered altogether so people knew where to go. A lot of people, especially small children, pointed us out, and we signed a few autographs, but other than that, everyone kept quiet and gave us privacy.

We met up with Angela and Ben, and I squealed when I saw her! We hugged and didn't want to let go, and I cried in her shoulder because it had been so long since we've seen each other. She hadn't changed at all since high school. She was still the same sweet, funny, shy girl, but now with a baby on the way with Ben.

We chatted some more before Edward and I had to head back to our car. I lay my head on my husband's shoulder as we walked, and he ran an arm around my shoulders.

"It was nice to see them again, Angela and Ben," Edward said.

"Yeah, it was, and Angela is having a baby, I can't believe it," I smiled.

"Yeah, that's really great. I'm happy for her," Edward smiled back.

We stayed quiet for a while, and I didn't speak again until we got back to the Volvo.

"Do you still see us a parents one day?" I asked shyly, interested more in my chewed off fingernails than looking at him.

He took my hand and kissed the knuckles gently. "Yeah, I do. I really do. Sometimes I have these dreams of you and me. You holding a baby girl in your arms, me rocking our son to sleep. Me teaching her how to play the piano. Him banging on the pots and pans for drums."

Tears welled in my eyes as I smiled brightly. "I have those dreams too. Almost every night, now." I sniffled and shook my head, "But I'm afraid that it won't happen. Cause of all our shit that we have to deal with."

"Everyone has to deal with shit."

"Yeah, but…we have to deal with more crap than everyone else. And it wouldn't be fair to bring a baby into that."

Edward wiped away tears from my eyes and cupped my face with both hands. "Listen, ok? Yeah, we have more to deal with at home, but I'd rather deal with it with you than with anyone else. We will have our baby. We will!"

Wrapping my fingers on his hands, I sniffled again. "How will we know?"

He shrugged, "When we're standing in the middle of everything that feels right."

I like it in the city when the air is so thick and opaque

I love to see everybody in short skirts, shorts and shades

I like it in the city when two worlds collide

You get the people and the government

Everybody taking different sides

Shows that we ain't gonna stand shit

Shows that we are united

Shows that we ain't gonna take it

Shows that we ain't gonna stand shit

Shows that we are united

Round my hometown

Memories are fresh

Round my hometown

Ooh the people I've met

Are the wonders of my world

Are the wonders of my world

Are the wonders of this world

Are the wonders of my world

Of my world

Yeah

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