Previously…

And of course, the media picked on all of us during these last few months, causing all these lies and "reports" of Edward and I splitting up for our families, which was not true. Since our last cover of "John Doe", we haven't been focusing on much music. Our main target had been keeping our family together and happy again. Our fans knew us enough not to believe any information other than the message we'd put on our website. Our experience with the hit-and-run gave me more to write on my own, though. I hoped that after everything would slow down, things would get back to a place of contentment.

~oOo~

Songs used: "Hello Cold World" by Paramore

"Don't You Worry" by We Are the In Crowd

"Mine" by Taylor Swift

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

~oOo~

Oct. 2023

It's such a cold, cold world(hello cold world)

And I can't get out, so I'll just make the best with everything I'll never have

It's such a cold, cold world(hello cold world)

And it's got me down, but I'll get right back up, as long as its spins around

Hello cold world

Whoa oh oh

Whoa oh oh

Edward, the band, and I were in the studio recording a song we wrote. It described how the media embellished Jasper's hit-and-run case. After the case closed, he was shipped off to Vancouver to start his rehab session. He was feeling a lot better about everything, and he promised he'd stay in touch with everyone, especially Alice. She was worried about being a trigger and disrupting his recovery. So, of course, Edward and I wrote a song to comfort her:

Don't you worry about a thing

You're just lost inside a scream

Don't blow it, and make your life

Nothing less than you could own it

Make it right, Nothing less than you should be

Don't you worry about a thing

My sister

All this writing we'd done for our families really gave our fans a new perspective for them to see. They'd grown up with our tough exterior from our past albums, so the writing for our fourth album was another positive one. Aim Your Arrows High, our third record, was only the beginning of our positive change, and we wanted to continue on that path.But, it was strange because we didn't want to sound repetitive, but we felt we'd run out of new material. We decided that after this fourth album release, we'd take a break.

We wrote a softer, pop rock song about our marriage that I thought was really cute.

Do you remember, we were sitting there by the water?

You put your arm around me for the first time.

You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter.

You are the best thing that's ever been mine.

~oOo~

Jan. 2025

Jasper came out of rehab the year before, and he was doing pretty well for himself. He was now sober for six months, and even though it would always be a struggle for him, he knew better than to pick up a drink to drown his sorrows. He and Alice were working more on their communication and understanding each other.

Edward and I were doing well, but we hadn't gotten together as far as starting the band again for new material. We were on what the media called a hiatus, which was kind of ridiculous to me, because we weren't fighting or going through a major breakup. We just needed a creative recharge so we'd have something new to come out with. In the meantime, we did some side projects of our own. We did a fun project with Alice and Jasper, called "You Make Me Feel".

(Bold: Edward; Italics: Bella; Underlined: Alice)

Girl I've been all over the world

Looking for you

I'm known for taking what I think I deserve

And you're overdue

And if you listen you can hear me through the radio

In that bright white noise

What I been missing in my life

What I been dreaming of

You'll be that girl

You'll be that girl

You'll be

Everything you want so let me get up there

I'm the baddest baby in the atmosphere

Tell me what you want so we can do just what you like

[Chorus]

You make me feel that

La la la la la

You make me feel so

La la la la la

You make me feel that

La la la la la

You make me feel so

La la la la la

You, you make me feel that

~oOo~

I woke up in our bed the next morning feeling a pang in my stomach. I rushed to the bathroom and dumped out last night's dinner in the toilet. Shaking, I sat back and lay my head in my hands.

I heard Edward's bare feet rush over to me, and I felt him sit next to me.

"Hey, what happened? What's wrong?" he asked, worry filling his voice.

I sniffled. "I feel sick." I crawled into his arms, and cried as he rubbed my back.

"It's ok, it's ok," he hushed. "Maybe it was the chicken last night?"

"It's in the toilet now," I mumbled, rubbing my eyes. "And I haven't had my period in a while."

He froze, and I looked up. His face was a mixture of shock and happiness. He looked back down at me. "Do you think you're pregnant?" he asked.

I shrugged. "Maybe. I don't know. We stopped trying after everything with Jasper." Though, I hoped I was. Before Jasper's problems came into light, Edward and I had been trying for months to have a baby. We hadn't had any luck yet, but I'd been hoping and praying for a miracle.

"We should get a pregnancy test, just in case. And if it says yes, we'll go to Carlisle. 'Kay?" Edward said, and wiped my eyes with his thumbs.

I sniffled again, nodding, and held him close. "What if I'm pregnant?"

He placed his hand on my stomach. "Then, no baby will be loved more."

I smiled a watery smile and kissed him quickly. "Ok, but first let me brush my teeth and shower."

"Or, we could conserve water and just shower together," Edward kissed behind my ear, my eyes fluttered.

"Sure," I smiled.

~oOo~

I took the pregnancy test, and it came out negative. Edward called Carlisle over, and he said it was food poisoning. I felt even sicker.

I stayed in bed the whole day under the covers, tears falling onto our pillows.

Edward tried to get me to eat some, but I just wanted to be alone.

Maybe it was my fault we didn't have a baby yet? Worrying about Alice and Jasper's problems did take a toll on my health. I'd become so focused on my sister's marriage that I'd let it cloud my desire to start a family. Edward understood because it was his family too, but I could tell it hurt him when I pulled away most nights.

I didn't know what to do.