"Gray! What the hell are you doing?"
My head snapped up at the gruff voice reverberating around me. I turned around to my grandpa standing a couple of yards behind me, a dim-lit oil lamp in hand.
"I don't pay you to stand around!" he continued to yell across the mine, waiting impatiently in front of a flight of dusty stairs. "Let's get a move on, boy!"
You barely pay me as it is.
I wanted to quip back but held my tongue. We'd been mining since around five that morning, and I was too tired to get into it with the old man again.
My grandpa always took advantage of festivals to get more work done. Usually, the entire town would shut down for celebrations, which meant we were free to spend all day mining. That particular morning, Gramps had insisted on getting as far as we could in the mine to stock up on high-quality ores before summer's end.
According to my grandfather, fall and winter were always our busiest seasons. But to be real, I couldn't tell the difference. Gramps was always on my ass, no matter what season it was.
When my grandpa gave me a thumbs-up in the direction of the stairs back to the surface, I let out a silent sigh of relief. I lifted my rucksack, heavy with the day's spoils, and used my entire body to throw it over my shoulder. The force of the materials landing on my back almost knocked the wind out of me, but I managed to hide that from Gramps and followed him up the stairs.
After what felt like forever, we finally made it to the top floor of the mine. When I marched up the final steps, I was met by the blinding light of the outside world. Sunshine radiated inside and illuminated the mine's floor, making the entrance look like the gate to some great beyond. The view was my favorite sight after a long morning deep in the mines.
I dragged my heavy legs out of the mine and into the mid-summer air. My skin warmed to the touch of the full sun, and the smell of earthy, humid air filled my nostrils. Usually, I resented those qualities about summer. But after hours deep in a dark, stuffy mine, it felt like paradise. I took another deep inhalation, savoring the sweet taste of real air.
I trailed after my grandfather as he hiked down the overgrown path past Goddess Spring, catching up to him outside Gotz's cabin. We followed the shaded path up past the poultry farm and silently greeted Rick, who was out furiously tending to his chickens as we passed by.
I silently rejoiced as we arrived outside the shop, knowing I could finally rid myself of the heavy-ass bag I'd been lugging around. With absolutely no sense of urgency, Gramps leisurely reached for his keys and began to unlock the old brick building. He pushed open the heavy chestnut door with his shoulder and walked inside the shop to hold it open for me.
"Alright, where do you want this shit?" I asked as I struggled through the doorway.
He raised an eyebrow. "You can set those down over there, boy," my grandpa instructed, pointing to a spot by the shelves behind his desk. Without wasting a single second, I did as he asked.
I threw the bag on the ground and exhaled loudly. "What now?" I inquired over my shoulder.
"You in a hurry or something today?" I heard my grandpa call from behind me.
"No," I scoffed, "just ready to be done dealing with these damn rocks."
"Big plans later?" Gramps asked again, completely ignoring my previous statement.
"Not really," I said quietly, not looking up from my bag as I spoke.
"Watching the fireworks tonight?" he pressed once more. The sound of his footsteps from behind got louder, but I didn't want to turn around.
I sighed and offered a half-hearted shrug in defeat. "Not sure yet."
"Are you taking a date?" he asked as he leaned against his desk. I wasn't sure what his deal was today or why he was so bent on playing 21 Questions, but he was starting to get on my nerves.
"No… I just said I don't even know if I'm going." I groaned, finally turning around to my grandfather with a glare. "Why would I take a date?"
"You should take that nice farmer girl," he said bluntly, walking next to me to inspect today's haul. "I see how she looks at you when she comes by the shop. You might actually have a chance at that one." I didn't know what that was supposed to mean, but I just rolled my eyes.
"Never said I wanted a chance."
He huffed at my comment, his eyes moving from the bag to me. "Gray…" he trailed off, shaking his head as if he were loading up to scold me.
"What?" I growled. "What'd I do now?"
"Nothing." He sighed, his posture uncharacteristically deflating in response. I could tell that this lecture would be different solely based on the hint of sadness in his voice. "It's just... you're getting older, and I think…" he started as he looked back to the ores, "it's about time you started thinking about settling down."
I couldn't believe what had come out of his mouth. "W-what?" I stammered, taking a step back. Why was that the topic of discussion today?
"Gray, you're in your mid-twenties," my grandpa started in his familiar accusing tone. "You'll be 25 next year, and you're still... fucking around like a damn kid. You need to grow the hell up. That's the whole reason I agreed to take you in." My grandfather crossed his arms over his chest. "When I was your age, I was married with kids, running the smithy by myself. Not sure why it's taking you so damn long to figure your shit out."
He stopped and took a breath, reading my horrified facial expression before continuing. "I'm not saying you need to settle down tomorrow, in the next couple of weeks, or even this year. I'm just saying… it's time to get your act together. There won't be too many single girls your age around for much longer." There was a long pause as we both maintained eye contact. "And it's not like I'm getting any younger either," he added with a weak shrug.
I wanted to explode but knew that would likely do more harm than good. It frustrated me that my grandpa was pushing me so hard to 'settle down.' Whatever the fuck that meant. It finally felt like I was figuring my life out; why would I want to ruin that?
"I get what you're saying…" I said through gritted teeth, trying to force a respectful tone. "But I'm not trying to get involved with another girl right now."
"I realize that," my grandpa replied. "But I can't help thinking that the right girl might help you get serious about—"
"Just fucking drop it, okay?" I barked back, trying to stop the conversation before I got too irritated. My grandfather nodded understandingly and turned around to his desk.
I needed to distract myself from all the damn family talk. Knowing that all the ores would need to be organized into storage, I grabbed the stool from my workstation and dragged it in front of the black leather case we used to store unfinished stones. I started to unhook the metal latch when my grandpa stopped me.
"Gray," he commanded from behind.
"What?"
"You're done for the day," he said flatly. "Leave."
"Huh?" I questioned as I looked over my shoulder at the old man.
"It's a holiday," he started, motioning towards the door with his left hand. "I've worked you hard enough today." I was confused; neither of his current arguments had stopped him from keeping me to work before.
"Gramps," I protested, finally shifting on the stool to face him. "It's fine. I can stay…"
He furrowed his brow at me, "And make careless mistakes due to fatigue? Mistakes I'm going to have to correct? No. You're done. Leave."
I sighed. He was old as hell but sure as stubborn as ever. "Listen, Gramps, I don't want to leave all this for you to do."
"I'm not staying to work!" he said with a hearty laugh as he walked to the front of the shop. "I'm planning to enjoy the festival like everybody else, as should you. You'll pick this back up tomorrow morning."
"Oh, ha, I see," I said with a smirk. "Then I guess I'll get out of your hair." I reattached the clasp on the leather case and stood up from my seat.
"I'll see you later, son," my grandpa said as he held the door open for me once more. "You can always join me on the beach if you want. I'll have you know, Kassey and Patrick really talked up this year's show."
"Thanks," I said with a laugh, heading towards the door. "I'm not sure what I'm doing yet, but I'll probably see you there."
He nodded in response and waved as I left the shop. I turned right on the cobblestone path and headed north towards the inn.
It was barely three in the afternoon; I still had time to blow before the fireworks. It would hopefully be enough time to figure out what the hell I was going to do tonight. Everyone in my life was so convinced I should go to the festival, so I wondered why I was so unsure.
Hanging out with Claire in such an intimate setting did make me nervous. It wasn't like I had to worry about slipping our secret to Ann or Cliff; they apparently knew more about it than I did. At this point, it was almost painfully obvious that I was attracted to Claire, but otherwise, I still wasn't sure how I felt about her. Aside from a few decent interactions, most of our encounters had been weird or confusing at best.
I had to admit that I was pretty curious about Claire, though. She was unlike anyone I'd ever met. After seeing her at the beach, I found myself trying to make sense of all the things she'd done or said that day. It felt like the more I saw her, the less I knew about her. I just wanted to understand why she behaved the way she did, and spending more time together seemed like a sure-fire way to find out.
Even still, I felt hesitant about going tonight.
I think one part of me was scared that Claire anticipated something more out of the night. Wanting to get to know somebody was different than trying to live up to their expectations, and I didn't really need that pressure. The other piece of me was afraid that it would be a disaster, and the two of us would be stuck in an awkward silence watching Cliff and Ann enjoy their date. The uncertainty of both situations didn't sit right with me.
I had to remind myself it wasn't a date. Ann was the one inviting Claire, not me. It would just be four people hanging out, enjoying the beautiful fireworks display. A fun night free of expectations and awkwardness... or so I hoped.
On the other hand, I was terrified of seeing Mary there. I had gone out of my way to avoid her the past few weeks and didn't want that effort going to waste. It would be near impossible to avoid thinking about her while I was there anyway; a reminder sitting yards away from me would only make it worse.
I was starting to consider that going wasn't such a great idea after all.
When I finally pushed open the doors to Doug's Inn, I quickly surveyed the dining room. The wooden tables and chairs were bare, the bar stools along the back empty as well. Ann, the only inhabitant, was scrubbing a table near the register.
Ann met my gaze, and she frantically waved me over. I strolled past the various clusters of tables and chairs until I reached the one where she was stationed. She dunked the white rag in the red bucket beside her feet and slopped it back onto the table, continuing her work. I gripped the back of the chair in front of me, waiting for Ann to reveal why she beckoned me.
"Take a shower," Ann commanded without looking up.
"I was already planning on it," I huffed, pulling down my hat. Ann picked up the cloth she had been using to wipe down the table and began dabbing spots on my cheeks against my will.
"Your face is a mess!" she exclaimed as I tried to swat her hand away. "Plus, you stink!" Ann took a step back and stuck up her nose. "You've been mining, haven't you?"
"Well… yeah," I said, crossing my arms over my chest. "It's part of my job." She raised an eyebrow at me. "I already said I'd shower, so stop looking at me like that!"
"Good!" Ann replied with a laugh. She threw the rag back in the sudsy water and hauled the bucket over to the next table. "So that means you're coming tonight, right?"
I spun around to face the new table Ann was cleaning. It was a valid question. Despite all the time I spent up in my head debating whether or not to go, I hadn't made a choice yet. Now that I was on the spot with Ann, I would have to decide and stick with it.
"Uh, yeah," I mumbled, scratching the back of my head. "I guess so."
Ann spun around, her face lighting up like I had brought her apple pie. "Awesome! I was hoping you'd say that," she said, clasping her hands together. "'Cause Claire is coming too, that way neither of you will be the third wheel. It'll be like a double date." Ann gave me her best attempt at a wink before resuming her work on the table in front of us.
All the air left my body as I searched for a response. "It's not a date," I muttered, pulling at the brim of my hat to hide my embarrassment. "We went over this."
"Do you like her?" she asked, not bothering to look up from her work.
"Well…" I started, looking off in the direction of the door in search of an answer, "I don't know her very well, but I guess—"
"I don't know her very well," Ann interrupted, repeating my words mockingly. "Yeah. Sure, you don't." I rolled my eyes, but she was still too busy cleaning to notice. Her comment didn't deserve a response anyway. "Okay, well, if you don't know her, do you think she's cute?"
"Uh…" I hesitated, grabbing onto the chair beside me. I thought about the times I had caught myself checking out the blonde farmer, and my face suddenly felt hot underneath my hat. "I guess. She's alright—"
"Are you two going to be hanging out together?" Ann interjected once again. She was starting to drive me nuts.
"Yeah, I guess that's what's happening—"
"Then it's a date. I said so!" Ann concluded, finally spinning around to look me in the eyes. There was a sense of purpose in her voice. "Anyways, Cliff said he wouldn't be back for a few more hours, so you two just meet Claire and me there, okay?"
"Fine," I replied with a heavy sigh. I was starting to regret agreeing to Ann's demands.
"Go make yourself look presentable," Ann said as she nodded her head in the direction of the stairs. She picked up her bucket once more and started walking towards the kitchen. "You smell like rotten dirt." With that, she disappeared in between the kitchen doors. I figured that was my cue and headed up to my room.
As I entered the flat, I got a glimpse of myself in the mirror by the door. Ann was right; I was an absolute mess. I threw my hat on the bed, noticing how greasy and caked my hair was. Grabbing the towel off my dresser, I made my way to the shared bathroom for a much-needed shower.
After I felt sufficiently clean and refreshed from the warmth of the water, I rinsed myself clean and turned off the faucet. I grabbed my towel off the rack next to me and dried off in the tub before securing it around my waist. When I pushed open the bathroom door, I was surprised to see Cliff combing out his shoulder-length hair in the mirror above his dresser.
"You're back earlier than I thought," I said, walking out of the bathroom towards my bed.
"Yeah, Carter insisted I come home and, uh… prepare myself," he said, turning to face me. Cliff usually had his hair tied back, so it was strange seeing it draped over his shoulders. "So... you're coming after all?"
"Uh, yeah, I guess so," I replied. To my surprise, a pair of burgundy pants and a navy button-up had been set out on my bed. I turned to my roommate and motioned towards the clothes. "Did you do this… ?"
Cliff shook his head and shrugged. He finished combing out his hair and retrieved a few articles from the bottom drawer of his dresser. With his clothes and a towel in hand, he headed for the bathroom. A few moments after the door shut behind him, I heard the water kick on.
I shook the excess moisture from my hair and looked back at the neatly arranged garments on my bed. It had to be Ann. I laughed at the thought of her rifling through my drawers to pick out my outfit like I was a kid.
After dressing in Ann's outfit choice, I went to the mirror to investigate. She had a pretty good sense of style; I didn't look too bad, just different. As I rolled up the shirt sleeves, I couldn't help but feel like something was missing.
I looked around the room in search of my hat. It wasn't on my bed where I had left it. Had Ann gotten rid of it? The thought of me going anywhere without it made my stomach drop.
Out of the corner of my eye, I finally noticed the hat hanging up on my headboard. I placed it on my damp hair and looked back into the mirror, letting out a sigh of relief. It was as ready as I was going to get. I plopped down on my bed, waiting for my roommate to finish up.
A while later, Cliff emerged from the bathroom, already dressed. He sported a tan short sleeve tunic with intricate white and blue embroidered patterns along the sleeves and neckline. Cliff must have noticed my interest in his new outfit because he immediately looked to the floor.
"I like your new get-up," I said with a laugh. "That's all,"
"Thanks," he said softly. "Most people in my hometown would wear something like this for summer festivals."
"Looks a lot more comfortable than that vest," I added with a smirk.
Cliff laughed and returned his attention to the mirror. He nervously pulled at the tunic as he watched his reflection. We remained in silence for a few minutes until Cliff spoke up again.
"Gray…" he started hesitantly, his gaze fixed on his hands. "Thanks. For coming with Ann and me… I appreciate you being there."
"Don't give me so much credit. You'd be fine without me," I said with a smirk. "But thanks. And you're welcome." Cliff finally looked up and me with a smile. I had always thought he was a little strange, but I was glad we were becoming friends.
"It's about five," Cliff said, turning away from the mirror. "Are you ready?"
I looked down at my bare feet. "I don't know," I replied slowly. Now that going to the festival was real, I found the feelings from earlier returning to my chest.
"It looks like you're just missing shoes—"
"No," I said with emphasis. "I don't know if I'm ready to go." As I waited for Cliff to respond, I searched for the words to describe how I had been feeling all day.
"What do you mean?" Cliff asked, tilting his head. "You're not having second thoughts because I said something nice to you, are you?"
"No, stupid, not that," I assured him. I looked to Cliff and then back at my hands. "It's... hard to explain. I don't mind the idea of going with everyone, but I'm just worried that Claire has some sort of... expectations. I don't want to let her or Ann down." Cliff nodded understandingly as I nervously cracked my knuckles.
"Gray... you shouldn't burden yourself like that," Cliff said thoughtfully. "It's a festival, you should enjoy it." His time with Carter was evidently paying off.
"What about Mary?" I asked, meeting Cliff's earnest gaze.
"What about her?" he replied, narrowing his eyes. "I thought we were talking about Claire?"
"I don't want to see Mary there either," I admitted, not divulging into the details of why for his sake.
Cliff let out a weak sigh."I mean, I can't imagine she'd bother you if you're with someone else. Mary won't know that you're there as friends," he replied logically.
"I hate that you're right." I huffed and looked back down at my feet. "I think Ann already left to go get Claire. We should probably leave soon if we're gonna meet them there."
Cliff seemed satisfied with my response. He swiftly gathered the russet locks off his shoulders and secured the bunch in an elastic at the back of his head. I pushed up from my spot on the bed and slipped on the pair of black sandals tucked underneath.
"After you," Cliff said as he motioned towards the door.
He followed me down the stairs and through the lonely inn. Outside, the sun was beginning to set over Mother's Hill. We walked side by side in a comfortable silence through Rose Square and towards the beach, the salty ocean breeze greeting us as we arrived.
From the entrance of the beach, I quickly scanned the area. Colorful blankets littered the sand as various groups of townspeople eagerly mingled and got food before the show. It was a bustling scene, but it appeared as if most of the town was present.
I spotted my grandpa sitting off to the side while he chatted with Duke and Mayor Thomas, Jeff awkwardly sitting alone a few feet away. Manna talked up a storm to Lillia and Sasha as they congregated outside the Snack Shack, Trent and Popuri not too far behind. Ellie was seated close by, watching as May and Stu stormed through the crowd, snowcones in hand. A rush of relief came over me when I didn't see Mary or her family amongst the masses.
On the far south side of the beach, I spotted Ann seated on a blue patterned blanket. Her red hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and long bangs framed her face, making it one of the few times I had actually seen Ann with any of her hair down. She hugged her knees to her chest as she looked out over the horizon, her yellow tunic gently flapping in the breeze.
To my surprise, Claire was nowhere to be seen. I exchanged confused glances with Cliff and hesitantly walked through the sand to Ann's spot.
"You look nice," I jokingly greeted Ann.
Ann looked up at me with indignation in her eyes, and almost as quickly, looked away and crossed her arms. Her change in demeanor from earlier caught me off guard. What was her deal?
I looked over at Cliff, who showcased a just as perplexed expression. He slowly sat down next to Ann, who barely acknowledged his existence. I stood over the couple, trying to analyze the look on Ann's face.
"Where's Claire?" I asked the redhead, hoping she'd start explaining her unusual behavior. She scoffed at my question.
"If you want to know so badly, why don't you go ask her yourself?" she snapped. Ann continued to avoid my eyes, keeping hers locked on the darkening horizon.
"What do you mean?" I questioned her again, looking around as if Claire was going to appear out of nowhere. "You said that you and Claire were going to meet us here…"
"Ugh. You're so dense it's unbelievable," Ann spat, shaking her head. "How you managed to get this far is beyond me."
"What the hell are you talking about?" I yelled back, feeling my fists tighten. "Why are you being like this?" Whatever I had done to warrant her behavior, it was a fucking mystery to me.
Crashing waves were the only sound between us for a moment until Ann shot up from her seat and stomped towards me.
"I can't believe you!" Ann exploded, matching my energy.
"Believe what? I have no idea what the fuck you're even talking about!"
Luckily for us, most of the other beach-goers were sitting on the north end, leaving them out of earshot of our screaming match. The only couple in the vicinity was Karen and Rick, who were intently enjoying the show.
Ann scowled up at me and took a step back. She let out a heavy exhale and spoke again in a lower yet commanding tone, "If you honestly don't know, you need to go talk to her, not me."
"Talk to who?" I asked, looking around. My head felt like it was spinning, trying to keep up with Ann.
"Claire!" She yelled again, the exasperation clear in her voice. "Are you stupid or what?"
I felt the urge to snap back at Ann but caught myself. I took a deep breath, trying to clear out the built-up tension so I could think straight. "I…" I started before forcing my tone to soften, "I just don't get why you're so upset at me right now."
Ann didn't speak a word; the intensity in her eyes said it all. She clearly wasn't going to give me any more information about Claire's whereabouts or why it was such a touchy subject. I looked over to Cliff, who was still sitting on the ground with his hands in his lap. He bit his lip as if trying to hold something back.
"Good talk," I mumbled, my face tightening in frustration. "Guess I'll see you guys later then."
Without another word spoken, I turned on my feet and headed towards the exit of the beach. Behind me, I could hear Ann groaning to Cliff about how she had worked up an appetite and needed to go to Kai's again. I hoped I would be back from Claire's in time to hit Kai's shack, too, because I needed a fucking drink.
As I reached the stairs to Rose Square, I scanned across the dimming beach one last time. I think part of me hoped I would spot the blonde farmer, and this all would just be some sort of sick practical joke, but she wasn't. It was still light enough for me to spot a certain librarian, though, instantly making me wish I had never even looked at all.
Mary's eyes met mine before they could make it back to the exit. She was sitting on a plaid blanket with her parents by the dock, running a hand along the length of her raven braid. When she realized it was me, she seemed to perk up, amber eyes almost begging that I come over. And part of me wanted to…
I stopped for a split second and thought about what I should do. The adrenaline from the fight was still coursing through my veins, and I couldn't concentrate enough to come up with a plan.
And then I saw her get up.
As she hesitantly pushed through the sand, I was paralyzed. Within a minute, she was standing on the step below me, staring up at me with the saddest eyes I'd ever seen.
"Gray?" Her voice was faint and hesitant, as if she was worried that I was just an illusion.
Fuck. My mouth was dry, my heartbeat was echoing throughout my entire body, and I couldn't come up with anything to say.
Mary frowned and took a breath. "You've been avoiding me, haven't you?" She said it like a question, but the melancholy in her voice indicated she knew the answer.
"I'm sorry."
"Why?" she asked, her voice breathless as if she could start crying at any moment. " Why have you been avoiding me?"
"I… I told you we shouldn't see each other anymore. It's… it was just… easier that way."
She paused, her face tightening. "I still don't understand why you said that."
I was silent. I didn't really have a good explanation to offer Mary; I just… did.
"Don't you think that's something we should have talked about in private?" She took a step toward me, and I could clearly see the tears welling up in the corners of her eyes. "Gray… you completely blindsided me with virtually no explanation…I thought I meant more to you than that."
I took a step forward. "No, Mare, you do. I… I just, you're right... I'm sorry."
"I miss you," she said softly, looking up at me.
Half of me wanted to say it back. The other half wanted to violently shake the other part of me out of the spell I was falling under, to remind me why I'd tried to end it with Mary in the first place. I wasn't sure if it was the anger, but I was starting to have trouble remembering the reasons...
"I think the fireworks are going to start soon. Do you want to watch them together?"
I was at a loss for words. In all my years of pining after Mary, she'd never asked me to a festival; it'd always been me. Something about it seemed so right, but the nagging voice in my head said otherwise. I'd wanted to hear any indication that Mary wanted me for so long, but something about this request seemed desperate and forced. Why did it take rejection from me to finally trigger her to ask something like that?
All I did know was that Ann would kick my ass if she saw I was still on the beach, and I didn't want to risk getting into it with her again, especially in front of Mary.
"I… I have something I need to go do," I managed to force out. "For Ann."
"Oh."
"But, uh… I can try to come by soon so we can talk." I wasn't sure what I would even say, but at least I'd bought myself some more time.
This seemed to elevate her mood, though only slightly. A sad smile grew on her lips, "Okay... I'll be looking forward to it."
After a deep breath, I tore away from Mary's gaze and continued up the stairs.
As I made my way towards Claire's farm, I finally had a second to process my most confusing beach visit yet.
What had I done that could have possibly stopped Claire from coming and made Ann, who was completely fine earlier, snap at me like that? I hadn't even seen Claire around much recently, so the fact that I had supposedly done something to her only worried me more.
By the time I reached Claire's farm, it was dark outside. The glow from the farmhouse windows provided the only light on the property. After hesitating at the front door for longer than I'd care to admit, I forced myself to knock.
No response, just like last time. But the lights were on, and she wasn't at the beach, so she had to be home.
I gave the door another knock. "Claire?" I called. "You in there?"
No reply. I knocked again.
"Claire?" I repeated a little louder.
Again, no reply. I was confused but growing nervous as the minutes passed with no answer.
Ann had sent me to Claire's house, assuming that she would be home, so where the hell was she? I didn't really want to miss the fireworks tonight, but if I wanted to return to the beach, I had to make sure that Claire was okay, alive at the very least. Then, I'd apologize for whatever dumb shit I did, and we could all move on. It wasn't a perfect plan, but it was the best I could do.
My hand reached for the doorknob before I even had time to think about what I was doing. To my surprise, the door was unlocked, so I instinctively pushed it open and peered in. The lights were on, and the TV was on, so she had to be home. I stood in the doorway and scanned the room for the blonde, but the place was completely empty.
A few moments later, I heard a muffled whine. The sound came from the couch, yet from the door, I couldn't find the source. My heart fluttered in my chest. What in the world am I getting myself into now?
"Claire?" I called again, trying to hide the uncertainty in my voice. A large mass of blankets popped up from the couch, almost scaring me half to death.
"W-who's there?" A hoarse, trembling voice asked. I ran around to the front of the couch to find the source of the sound. The sight was shocking, to say the least.
Cocooned in a mass of blankets was Claire. She was uncontrollably sniffing and trying to wipe away tears from her waterline. Her eyes were swollen and bloodshot as wet streams stained her flushed cheeks. Chunks of blonde hair were knotted in an unruly mess around her head while other pieces were crusted to the sides of her face. Even the blanket she had wrapped herself in was visibly damp. It looked like she had been crying for hours…
Fuck.
"Oh! Gray," Claire said between hitched breaths, combing all her hair back from her face. Her voice sounded fake and forced. She loosened her grip on the blanket as she sat up straight, causing a few loose covers to collect on the ground in front of her. "I wasn't expecting you! Or anyone, really. I'm sorry everything is such a mess…"
I looked around, knowing that she wasn't talking about the state of her living room.
"Yeah, Ann sent me…" I started, my concern rising as I spent more time investigating the disheveled blonde. I took a step closer towards the couch, against my better judgment. "Uh… are you okay?"
"Oh, hah, me?" she said between sniffles. "I'm fine, really." She was clearly not fine, despite the fake smile she was putting on. "Here, uh, sit down. I'll make you some tea."
Claire attempted to spring up out of her seat, but her foot was trapped in the vortex of blankets she had created on the ground.
Just as she slid forward, I caught her forearms to stop her fall. As I held Claire's wrists against my chest, I looked down at her, half-expecting a response. Instead, she just hung her head below her hands.
"Stop, you're obviously not okay," I insisted, growing frustrated with her dismissive behavior. "Just tell me what's going on."
As the words left my mouth, I saw Claire's lips twitch. She leaned her head into my chest and took a few shuddering gasps before the sobbing resumed.
I wanted to help, but I had no clue how to handle somebody so distraught, let alone somebody I barely knew. In an attempt to be comforting, I released Claire's arms and placed my hands on her shoulders. Based on how aggressively she was weeping into my chest, my attempt wasn't all that successful.
"I-I can't do it," she said between cries, aimlessly grabbing onto my shirt where I had previously held her wrists.
My heart throbbed as she grazed my chest, and I prayed she couldn't hear how fast it was beating. I quickly looked away to re-focus on the issue at hand.
"Do what?" I asked, trying to be as sympathetic as possible without understanding what the hell was going on.
I looked down at the farmer, but she kept her face pressed into me. The spot on my shirt where Claire's head rested only grew damper by the minute. She sniffed hard, trying to stop herself from crying long enough to get out the words.
"I'm so… so stupid. So fucking stupid," Claire stuttered through sobs, "I'm so… s-sorry to drag you into this."
"It's fine, it's gonna be okay," I tried to reassure her, still unsure how I fit into whatever it was she was so upset about. "I just need you to tell me what happened."
Everything Claire said was more confusing than the last, and it felt like nothing I said helped console her. Why was she apologizing to me? Ann had made it seem like I had done something to her, yet Claire acted as if it were the other way around.
Claire took a deep breath as she stepped back and looked at me. She pressed her quivering lips together, evidently thinking carefully about her next words. As I waited for her to speak, the first BANG of fireworks being shot off echoed in the distance.
"G-Gray…" she managed to force out, releasing her grip on my shirt, "p-please don't hate me."
My heart dropped. Why was everyone speaking in riddles today?
"What do you mean?" I asked nervously. An eruption of fireworks reverberated in the background outside as I anxiously waited for Claire's response.
She closed her eyes for a moment, a single tear trailing down her cheek before she wiped it away. After swallowing the lump in her throat, she looked back up at me with glossy eyes and spoke the four most terrifying words in existence.
"I think I'm pregnant."
