Author's Note: I am so sorry that I haven't been around and updating this story recently a lot has gone on. Hopefully you guys are still interested. I will try and make regular updates here. Thank you to everyone who has left reviews.

The day after Donna's death it felt like the world had stopped. I didn't really know what to do, but I knew I had to get up and help the people who needed me. Jax had left earlier to go to Opie's. I knew I should have gone to see if I could help him, but I also wanted to give him the space he may need.

I heard Abel crying from his room so I got up and walked into his room seeing Wendy struggle to calm him down. I walked in quietly but loud enough she could hear me and I gently touched her shoulder not wanting to frighten her since she was holding Abel. She was obviously stressed out and I held my arms out offering to take him. As soon as she handed him over to me he quieted down and then we heard Jax clear his throat and we both jumped slightly, as I held Abel closer to me and then sighed in relief when I saw Jax.

"Don't do that to us Jax. Especially not with what's been going on." I looked at him sadly and Wendy nodded and chewed on her finger nervously. He nodded and then walked up to us and he put his arm around em and Abel. "How was Opie?" I asked looking up at Jax. Wendy smiled before walking out of the room saying she was going to try and take a nap to give us some privacy.

"Mary was at Opie's when I went over. He thinks that Donna's death is his fault." Jax gently caresses Abel's cheek and I smile at Abel sadly thinking about what Jax just said. "He said it was a banger that shot Donna and that it had to be because of his ties to SAMCRO." I didn't know what to say. That could have been true, maybe it was random. It's hard to tell in today's world. "I'm heading to Church. I'll see you later babe." We shared a simple kiss and then he left.

I was cleaning up the house a little while later when there was a knock on the door. I quietly and slowly walked to the door tiptoeing so I wouldn't be heard. Wendy had left to go to the store so I was alone with Abel. I looked out the small window by the door and saw Tara's car. I sighed and opened up the door. Tara was standing there and crying and shaking. I moved aside and let her in and she walked in.

"I didn't know what else to do. Or where to go. I can't take it anymore." I looked at her confused. I figured it would have something to do with Donna's death and I just was not in the mood for it today. I was about to say something when she started talking again. "Jax killed Kohn. It's going to be an issue. I need to go." I didn't know what she was talking about since everything had gone by the book with Kohn.

I looked at her angrily. All of the things going on with Donna and she is bringing this up. "Everything is fine. We did it all by the book and it's all 're just using that as an excuse because you're scared. By all means run away again. See what that fixes. You left Jax and I before so we will be fine again. I knew you only came back to have Jax fix your problem for you. I'm too busy for this though" I walked away from her and shortly after I heard her leave.

I continued cleaning when I found a half burnt book. I was about to throw it away before I saw the name John Teller. I sat down and started to read. I couldn't even believe half the things that I was reading. I didn't get far before I heard the front door open again. I thought it was Tara, and I started storming back into the living room when I saw Gemma. I relaxed a little.

"Calm down baby. What's got you so worked up?" She saw the book in my hands as she turned pale, and walked over slowly setting her stuff down on the way to me. "Where did you find this?" She looked me in the eyes and took the book from me slowly. She started to slowly read and turn the pages carefully.

"In Jax and I's room, in one of the boxes I hadn't unpacked yet." I watched her not wanting to say much more without knowing her thoughts. I knew Gemma and I knew this was shaking her badly. I just wasn't sure exactly which reason WHY it was.

Gemma started to walk away picking her stuff up and startling to leave. "I will talk to you later. I need to handle some things" I nodded, not saying anything for fear of her releasing her feelings on me right now. I couldn't read what was going on with her.I just hoped that it wouldn't end badly for Jax, whatever it may be.

It was getting late and I was getting worried. Wendy was back but neither Jax nor Gemma ever got in touch with me. I was pacing and that's when my phone rang. I answered it quickly, relief washing over me as I heard Jax on the other end of the phone. "Where have you been Jax? Where are you?"

"I'm fine, Serena. I probably won't make it back home tonight. Make sure you lock the doors. Donna's funeral is tomorrow. I will meet you there. I love you." I smiled softly and nodded even though I knew he couldn't see it. I was worried but I knew he would keep his word.

"I love you too Jax. See you tomorrow." I checked the door making sure it was locked. I went to Abel's room not wanting to be alone that night. I sat down in the rocking chair watching over him and my eyes drifting closed fast.

The next morning I woke up and stretched my muscles and joints screaming from sleeping in the chair. I walked into my room since Abel was still asleep so I could get dressed. I put on black skinny jeans with a black shirt that had puffy sleeves. I put on light makeup and just made sure my hair looked ok, without too much styling.

I walked back to Abel's room and got him dressed as well. I packed his diaper bag and fed him before we got into the car with Wendy and we drove to the funeral which was taking place at the cemetery. We got there and I saw Gemma and I decided to sit down beside her. Wendy sat on my other side. I saw Jax and I stood up handing Abel to Wendy before I walked over to Jax and handed him his kutte.

We shared a simple kiss and smiled at each other before we walked back over to the funeral proceedings. Jax threw a single simple carnation onto the casket and then he started walking off to his brother's headstone. I sat back down beside Gemma. I knew he would need some time and was processing a lot. I saw Piney get up and walk over to where Jax had disappeared.

I had an odd feeling of dread wash over me and I couldn't help but let it start to eat away at me. I looked around at the people I loved and hoped that nothing else bad would happen as I got up once again and threw a single carnation on Donna's casket.