AN: Who's ready for NYA DRAMA?! :)
Review Replies
Ghostkie: Reading fanfiction at 1:40 in the morning... I can relate. XD Hope you had enough caffeine to get you through the day! ;)
phetiamwantip: You're right, dwelling on the past in guilt isn't healthy, but I think it's also important to take lessons from the past to heart and learn from them. You'll see from the rest of the fic that Abby is extremely self-conscious of her mistakes, but she does what she can to learn from them and fix them. I'm not trying to lift her up into some angelic Mary Sue, of course; she makes mistakes, she has flaws, and as you're about to see in this chapter, she messes up. But like you said, she strives to keep moving forward and do better in the future.
Tomura-chan: Yeah, things with Wu are gonna be rough for a while.
I sat on the wall surrounding Steep Wisdom, watching Sensei Wu and Nya train. As I had expected, she was resistant, and though she executed everything Wu demanded of her, I could hear her protesting the whole time. It had been a couple of days since I dropped the bomb on the Ninja. The emotional turmoil had settled down, though some of them didn't look at me the same way anymore. Kai, Nya, and Wu especially seemed distant. Their cold shoulders hurt, particularly Nya, who I had slowly been growing closer with over the last week. Being the only two girls in the group, I supposed it wasn't too much of a surprise.
Truthfully, I had a couple of issues with the girl. She was brash and had a bit of an ego. It wasn't like with Kai. Yes, he was over-confident and boastful, but he was also generally easy-going. When he was knocked off his pedestal, he took the blow humbly and was back to his old self within a couple of days. Not Nya. Nya held grudges; Nya was defensive, prickly, and didn't take correction or insult easily. I had seen the girl's soft side, so I knew what she was capable of when she was being nice. But I also knew what she was capable of when she wasn't. While it was fun to watch her blow up on an enemy who underestimated her, it was also frustrating when she took that same attitude and turned it on her friends and family.
Despite my acute awareness of her flaws, I still cared about the girl a lot, and I wanted to see her succeed. Which was why I was outside now, supervising her training. It wasn't that I didn't think Sensei Wu was capable; of course he was! He had trained the others, after all. I was just… worried. What if by exposing Nya's powers too early, I had messed her up? In the original timeline, she had time pressing her forward, as well as the boys' dependance on her powers. While this was still true now, I had also offered other options for battling Morro and given her more time. What if she used that time and flexibility to procrastinate? I knew she didn't want to do this, and I knew why. So how did I use that knowledge to encourage her forward without offending her touchy pride?
After going through a few basic exercises, Wu tossed something in Nya's direction. In one fluid movement, the girl flipped up off her hands, catching the object in midair. Though her back was to me, I could hear the confusion in her voice as she glanced at the bucket in her hands. I grimaced when I realized what Sensei Wu was doing. This wasn't going to be pretty.
"Abby?" A voice called from below, and I twisted my head around to see Lloyd staring up at me from the ground, looking bemused. "How'd you get up there?"
"A couple of leftover crates and quite a few scrapes," I replied jokingly, pointing to the stack of crates I had pushed against the wall before I raised my arms to show off the light injuries on my skin. Lloyd chuckled. He backed up a couple of paces, assessed the wall, and took off running. Two hops and a flip later, he landed beside me, crouched in a Spider-Man pose. I rolled my eyes with a smile, "Show-off."
The boy grinned as he plopped down beside me, swinging his legs over the side as he turned his gaze to where Nya and Wu stood in the lily pool.
"So how's Nya doing?" He asked. At that moment, Wu hopped out of the pool, using stepping stones to get to shore. With a final word to Nya, he walked away, leaving the girl to stare after him in bewilderment. I sighed.
"Well, she hasn't quit yet," I said carefully, "But that might change considering what Sensei's just given her."
"What is she doing?" The boy craned his neck curiously as Nya dipped the bucket into the water and pulled it out. She gave an audible, frustrated cry as the water immediately began pouring out of the hole in the bottom.
"Sensei gave her this bucket with a hole in the bottom, right?" I said, pointing out the wooden container, "He wants her to fill the bucket."
"But…" Lloyd looked confused, "That's impossible if it's got a hole in the bottom."
"Is it?" I responded, putting my finger to my lips mysteriously. He blinked at me, and I took a second to admire his eyes. Green eyes were such a rare color, but his… His were vibrant. I suddenly wondered if they glowed in the dark. They certainly seemed bright enough.
"Well, I thought it was," The boy said eventually in response to my comment, "Until you said that."
I grinned as I dropped my hand and returned my attention to Nya, "It's not. But it's pretty darn tricky. I wouldn't have figured it out on my own if I hadn't already seen it. See," I pointed as Nya dipped the bucket into the water, "All she has to do is let the bucket sit in the pond. Then, technically, it's filled with water."
"Ooohhh," Lloyd nodded, understanding dawning on his face, "I see. Yeah, that's something Uncle Wu would do."
I hummed in agreement. For a moment, we were silent, watching as Nya grew increasingly annoyed with the test Wu had given her. She didn't look like she was ready to give up yet… Although, what would giving up actually gain her? The point was for Wu to figure out what was holding her back, but I already knew what it was. Would it be bad for me to help… speed things along?
I chewed my lip thoughtfully, mulling the idea over in my mind, before I reached a decision.
"I think I'm going to go help her," I said, swinging my legs around to the inner part of the courtyard. Lloyd watched me skeptically as I positioned myself above the stacked crates.
"Are you sure that's a good idea?" He asked, swinging his legs around as well while I made my way to the ground, "Uncle Wu gave her a test. He usually knows what he's doing."
"I won't give her the answer or anything," I responded as my feet thumped against the cobblestone, and Lloyd landed beside me nimbly, "I just want to talk to her. I understand the process she went through to unlock her full potential. Sensei Wu doesn't. I'm not discounting his teaching methods, I just might be able to… speed things along a bit."
Lloyd frowned, but shrugged, "Well, if you're sure you know what you're doing…"
"Yeah, I…" I hesitated, glancing out the archway at Nya. I took a deep breath and repeated, "I'm just going to talk to her. We'll see how things go from there."
The boy nodded, "Okay. I'll hang back here if you need me."
"Thanks," I said, giving him a grateful smile as I started toward the pool, "But I don't think that'll be necessary."
The look Lloyd gave me made me doubt that statement, but I firmly focused on optimism. Turning away from the boy, I made my way down to Nya. Already, she seemed put out by the test. She sat on the bank of the pool hugging her knees, the bucket lying untouched next to her. As I approached, she called out loudly, "I'm not quitting! I'm just taking a break!"
"Okay," I said, coming up beside her. The girl glanced up, but she didn't seem any happier to see me.
"Oh," She said dully, letting her legs drop as she turned her eyes away, "It's you."
I smiled wanly, "Yeah, it's me. Mind if I sit with you?"
"Hey, it's a free pool."
The invitation wasn't as warm as I would have liked, but I accepted it anyway. Plopping down into the sand, I picked up some pebbles and started tossing them into the water.
"So?" I prodded after a moment of silence, "How's training?"
"This is so stupid!" Nya exploded instantly, throwing her hands out. The water in front of her rippled violently, but I didn't think she noticed as she continued ranting, "Why do I have to unlock my powers, anyway? I can fight ghosts in other ways! Like upgrading the Sam-X suit. Or building water-based or deepstone weapons for the guys. There are literally a dozen other things I could be doing to help, but instead I'm sitting out here trying to fill a bucket with a hole in the bottom."
She picked up the bucket and brandished it pointedly at me. I nodded, but I didn't say anything immediately as I pondered how to reply. After a brief pause, I spoke carefully, "I think you're right. You could be doing all of that. But I don't think you should."
"Oh, and you know better?" The girl retorted scathingly, shooting me a nasty look, "Because you know me soooo well, don't you?"
Something in me bristled at her condescending tone, and I struggled to keep my voice level as I answered, "I think I do, actually. For instance, I know you have a fear of failure. You don't like trying new things for fear of looking stupid. So you don't try. Anything you can't do right the first time, you give up on. You focus on the things that are easy for you, without giving yourself the chance to really improve."
"Just—Stop it!" Nya surged to her feet, glaring at me so fiercely that I almost quailed under her gaze as she went on vehemently, "Stop acting like you know me better than I do! I know who I am; I'm Samurai X! And yes, I'm good at it. Why wouldn't I want to do something I'm good at doing? Why wouldn't I lean into my strengths?"
"Because your strengths aren't always just what comes naturally to you," I shot back, standing up as well, "Sometimes you have to put in a little extra effort. Why is that so hard for you?"
"Why do I have to be a water ninja?" She snapped, "Why are you forcing me to be something I don't want to be? Why is everyone always putting labels on me?"
The bristling thing inside me roared, and so did I.
"Nya, the only one putting labels on you is you!" I shouted, throwing my hands in the air in exasperation, "Not one single person has called you 'Water Ninja' since I revealed everything. Not one. Not even me, and I'm the one who actually thinks of you like that! But that doesn't mean that's what you have to be. You can be a water samurai, for all I care! You can be whatever you want, so why are you limiting yourself to just one thing?"
"I am being what I want!" Her eyes were fiery, and I vaguely registered the sound of water splashing and bubbling beside us, but I ignored it, "The boys were handed their destiny, I made my own! I just… want people to stop trying to make me something I'm not!"
"Oh my gosh," I groaned, reaching up to press my hands to my eyes. My chest was burning with pent-up anger, and I felt like I might explode. Why couldn't she understand? Why couldn't she just get outside of herself to see what she was doing?
"Stop making us the enemy," I said, frustration and annoyance edging in my voice, "Those boys in there are your family. I am trying to be your friend. None of us have done anything but support you! You wanted to be Samurai X? Kai let you, despite being your big brother, despite his inherent desire to protect you. You didn't want to be Jay's girlfriend? He let you go, despite the fact that he still loves you! Me and Sensei aren't trying to force you into anything. If you don't want to be a Master of Water, if you just want to be Samurai X, fine. No one can stop you, and no one is going to stop you. The only one forcing you into anything is you."
Nya opened her mouth, but I was on a roll and I couldn't stop now.
"I am trying to help you branch out," I forged on, ignoring her attempts to interrupt, "I'm trying to get you out of that box you're building around yourself. But you're so stubborn, so stuck in this desire to prove yourself. Who the heck are you trying to prove yourself to?! Everyone you care about all respects and loves and supports you. They've never done anything else. It's you who is doing this to yourself. You're building yourself up on a pedestal and stranding yourself there. Of course you're not willing to step into the unknown, because the second you do and you misstep, you'll fall off that pedestal and crash and burn. And yes, it's going to hurt. But tough girls, real tough girls, know how to get back up, dust themselves off, and keep going. You think you're a strong person, Nya, and I'll admit, to some degree, you are. But for Pete's sake, stop trying to be a freaking Mary Sue! You're not perfect; just admit it! You hide your flaws behind your strengths, but sooner or later, that wall is going to crack and people are going to see the weaknesses you try to hide. So here's my question, Nya; are you going to keep living like this—hiding your weaknesses instead of building on them—or are you going to suck it up and get your hands dirty? When are you going to accept that no one is holding you back except you?"
A dead silence fell as I finished. Nya stood gaping at me, and I myself was startled. I didn't usually blow up on people like this, not even my siblings. There was just so much I had to say, and she wasn't listening… I hated it when people didn't listen to me. And I hated being treated like an enemy by someone I cared about.
As my rage slowly began to die down, I felt a burst of panic. I just yelled at Nya. Nya, who was notorious for holding grudges. What if I had just ruined our friendship?
"Nya, I…" Looking into her eyes hurt, so I looked away, pushing my glasses up my nose, "Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled. I just…"
Have a lot of personal issues with you…
"...I'm trying to help," I continued, still not meeting the girl's eyes, "Really, I am. I want to be your friend. It's just…"
Hard to get over your stupid, hecking pride…
"...Hard knowing I don't fit in here. Everyone looks at me funny now, like I'm some kind of time bomb or a spy, like…"
Like someone who can't be trusted…
"You know what, never mind," I cut myself off, "I'm sorry. That's all I'm going to say."
Without a single glance at the girl's face, I walked away. I didn't look back, but I listened. I thought she might call me back, whether to apologize or, more likely, yell at me. But she didn't.
She didn't say a word.
Abby: Let's just see if I can gently nudge Nya toward realizing her flaws.
Abby: *brutally lists all of Nya's flaws in the worst possible way*
Abby: ...
Abby: I screwed up.
