A/N: REVIEW FOR IT FEEDS MY ENGINE OF CREATION!

HOLY CRAP SO MANY REVIEWS~!

MORE THAN THREE HUNDRED FOR THREE CHAPTERS! 0_0

Bloody internet was out; I would've had this up DAYS ago if not for that!

Sorry for not updating for the last two months, my health issues reared their ugly heads again and put me out of commission for awhile. Alas, I haven't been able to make chapters as long as I'd like; which leads into the lack updates for this story; these chapters take a LOT longer to make, considering they're longer than most. I've sworn that three thousand words is going to be the absolute lowest limit regarding these chapters...

...with the upward being around twenty thousand words.

Suffice it to say, I've been a very busy boy, and I've got a lot of this written out already. It just isn't ready yet. I wanted to include a lot of stuff here, so I hope it lived up to expectations.

I've already written out the endgame, now its just a matter of getting there.

On another note, I've gone back and modified the ending of last chapter. Nothing major, just turned that last attack into a Dynamic Entry. Really, I thought it was fitting given what we know of Naruto; he'd happily dropkick an enemy if it suited him.

Hope ya like it!

Time has passed and I've heard your words and votes. Not going to throw Naruto characters in...and if I do, it'll be unexpected ones. I've also listened intently to everyone's thoughts about Sieg and what should be done with the poor little homonculus. Don't think for a SECOND I've forgotten about Astolfo or Fran. Neither had the chance to shine last chapter considering its length and, seeing as it was mostly devoted to the Servants of Red-and Jack-but that's about to change.

Fighting a nasty bout of depression to write this, so there's that.

But in other news...

Gonna say it right now, Ruler is NOT prepared for the madness that is Naruto. No one is!

Furthermore, its been proven that Fran is wicked smart. She just doesn't speak.

When she does, I've found its almost like a child acting out, ya know?

And yes, I may have trolled people in regards to Lancer.

Now that we've gotten that out of the way...

...shall we begin~?

One last thing, JoJo reference is deliberate and obvious!

"Listen to you! Life is meant to be LIVED, not bound by pointless rules and dogma!"

~?

Cry Havoc

THWOOM.

...nrgh?"

Frankenstein felt the explosion long before she saw it.

Like a distant rumble from far shores, so too did she feel the earth tremble beneath her feet as she picked a fresh bouquet of flowers. It was a very nice explosion a small animistic part of her brain mused; the blast was very large, very loud, and more aptly very bright. Even at thisgreat distance one could see the mushroom rising out of what had once been the highway. A few moments later, a fresh burst of fire lit up the night. Ah. Pretty. The Berserker spared the distant battle a moment more of her attention before doggedly returning to her task at hand.

In her eyes, the fight didn't matter.

All the Servants of Black-bar one missing Assassin-were already assembled here, at the castle. Which meant the battle raging outside of the castle limits was of no consequence to her. If the Red faction wanted to fight amongst themselves that badly it suited her just fine. Regardless of the victor, they would come sooner or later, and when they did-

A hand settled on her head, mussing her hair.

"Whatcha doooooiiiiin'?"

"Rrrngh?!"

Berserker bolted to her feet and flailed her arms in spectacular fashion, the motion scattering the flowers in her hands and launching them into the air. An enemy?! Here?! To her credit, her brief moment of panic endured all of an instant before sense reasserted itself. Then she spun around and putting the full weight of her body into a single swing, slammed her mace into her attacker's visage with all of her considerable might.

At least, that had been her intention.

White teeth flashed out at her in the dark.

"Now, now, that wasn't very nice! Can't have you dispelling me just yet."

Imagine her surprise then, when a muffled grunt reached her ears and she found her assault stalled against an open palm. A lone crimson eye blazed back at her from the gloom, the other hidden behind the unwieldy bulk of her weapon. Clawed fingertips closed around the business end of the hefty mace and squeezed, buckling the hardened metal of her favored tool. Trapped-caught in mid-swing-a flicker of surprise flitted across her expressionless visage. One of the weaker servants she might well be, but she still possessed superhuman strength; more than render anyone she disliked into little more than stain.

The enemy had just stopped that very strike.

With one hand.

Servant.

Desperate thoughts skittered through her broken mind as she struggled against the intruder, to no avail. For all her might Frankenstein found herself forced back one step, then another. And another. Yet another still. Though the other remained concealed behind his back, though sparks skittered from her weapon and into his flesh, though she strained against him with all her might, her opponent remained utterly unfazed. No, if Berserer had to give voice to his response-though she was loathe to do so-she'd say he looked almost...

...happy?

"Right, then. Let's move this thing so I can talk."

Shunting her weapon down and to the right, the blond slammed a booted foot against the mace, trapping it with his foot against the soil. In disbelief she tugged at it, struggling to free her cherished tool-to no avail. As though it had well and truly become one with the garden, so too did she find it impossible to move her mace. What sorcery was this?! He couldn't possibly be this strong...could he? Frantic, a fresh surge of current coursed through her weapon and into the iron-shod shoe holding her at bay.

Instinct ground against her.

Destroy!

Crush!

Kill!

Her opponent merely laughed.

"Sorry, I'm practically immune to lightning after all those spars with Sasuke back in the day!" leaning over her entrapped weapon, he flashed her a sunny smile. Anyhow! Nice to finally meet you, fellow Berserker!" he grinned at her with half-lidded eyes, extending his now-freed hand in what she could only assume to be a gesture of peace. "I'm Berserker! Wait, no." the blond paused thumbing his chin. "That came out wrong. I mean, I am Berserker this time around but you're clearly also Berserker, and ohgodthisisgonnabeconfusinginnit-

A wordless hiss was her sole response.

"Oi, don't give me the silent treatment." her attacker groused. "I know you can talk, Frankenstein!"

A muscle jumped in her jaw and she saw red.

"BER~SER~KER~!"

A finger thrust itself in her face i brazen defiance of her rage.

"AHA! Knew it! I rest my case, madam!"

She nipped at the outstretched digit until he withdrew it.

"Okay, okay! Berserker. I know you can talk a little despite the madness enhancement, so why-

"KILL YOU!"

"ShitthatswhyDOWNgirl!"

A low growl rose in her throat as the redhead tugged on her mace anew-again, for all the good it did her. She may as well have been a child beating her fists against a boulder. When her weapon still refused to be dislodged, she channeled nearly all the prana she had remaining into her mace. Under most circumstances, this wouldn't have availed her much. But in her fit of rage, she made the mistake of overcharging her treasured tool in a frantic attempt to dislodge him. With a deafening roar, Blasted Tree howled to life beneath his boot, its perpetual engine threatening to engulf them both-

For the first time since they'd met, Naruto's pleasant-what?!-face lost its lazy smile.

"Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa! STOPU!" cast in the pale glow of her ultimate attack, Berserker of Red flung up his hands. "Don't waste your noble phantasm on me! You'll wipe yourself out! I'm just a clone! I'm here to scout, not fight! Besides, I come bearing gifts!"

...hrrngh?"

Fran tilted her head.

The wrathful aura abated somewhat.

"Sheesh, what is with Servants in this war...here!"

Stabbing a hand behind his back, the blond muttered crossly to himself as he unfurled the heavy scroll between his shoulders. Much to Fran's chagrin, he showed none of the fear he'd displayed earlier; rather he appeared wholly intent on withdrawing an item hidden within the strange material. His hidden hand shot out, presenting her a bouquet of immaculately picked-if a tad crumpled by the ordeal-flowers in full view of her hidden gaze. A slow blink followed as she beheld them, long and ponderous.

After a tense moment Fran reluctantly accepted them.

Bringing them to her face, she inhaled.

Sweet. Almost cloyingly so.

...hmph."

With that he removed his foot from her mace and skipped back half a step.

"See!" Naruto chirped, watching her heft her mace. "I'm harmless. Really, I just came her to scout and lay the occasional prank...but when I saw ya, I couldn't help myself. You looked lonely, hence the flowers. So!"

Tucking his knees beneath him, the blond dropped to the floor and sat.

"Wanna talk?"

Oddly enough, Frankenstein found herself reminded of a large dog she'd once glimpse in her the early days of her life. For all its bark, at the end of the day it had been a simple creature, happy and eager to please. Had the blond possessed a tail, she suspected it would've been wagging much like that loyal mutt. Though a part of her bristled at the idea, the rest of her longed for companionship. Master meant well of course, but he couldn't truly understand the aching pang of loneliness that encompassed her existence and accompanied her every waking moment. More importantly, he wasn't here, and she couldn't fault him for that. He, at least, knew the release of sleep. She did not...

...thus, surely a little chat wouldn't be so bad?

After a moment's consideration, Berserker sat beside him, the act causing her wedding dress to bloom around her like a white lily.

...talk." she ground out through gritted teeth.

"I believe the lady should go first...

"HRRNGH?!"

...or not." he placated, raising his hands.

Naruto must've understood that much, for a chuckle followed.

"So?" he inquired. "What do you want from this war? Gotta be something, right? You wouldn't have answered the summoning otherwise."

Frankenstein returned her gaze to the picked flowers in her hands, absently squeezing them.

"Too personal? Sorry, shouldn't have asked ya-

...partner." she struggled with the word.

"Oh! I get it. That's not a bad wish."

A low grunt answered him.

"Nooooooononono!" much to her chagrin, the whiskered warrior didn't fault her decision. It would've been easier if he had. "I like to think there's somebody for everybody, ya know? Take my Master for instance." thumbing his chin, he cast the scattered field of flowers a nostalgic glance. "She reminds me of my wife in my last life. Sure, she's soft-spoken and gentle to those that know here, but I know she'd sock me if I ever did something stupid in this war. Part of the reason why I intend to win it for her. I'm curious to see what she'll ask the Grail. Whatcha think of yours? Ya like him?"

The stilted silence proved deafening.

"Let me guess, that answer involves spoilers?"

Frankenstein leveled a flat, withering glare upon him.

"Jeez, you really aren't going to give up the goose on that, are you?"

A slow shake of the head told him all he needed to know about that particular subject.

She did, however, point a finger at him.

"Ha? My wish? Don't have one!" again those pearly whites flashed out at her, this time in a genuinely boyish smile that had her heart skipping a beat. "I get to live again, and in a younger body to boot! To start over! Set out on a grand adventure! Meet new people! Its a regular man's romance! What more could I ask for?"

Fran's expression didn't waver; indeed, her baffled scowl only intensified.

If looks could kill, the blond would be a smoldering pile of ash.

"You wound me, madam! I'm not lying!"

...rrgh."

"You know, I could do something about that speech problem of yours." her fellow berserker flashed his marked palm at her. "Madness Enhancement isn't easy to circumvent, but it can be done if you have the right tools. Helps if you're mad yourself." sure enough, the strange shape on his palm seemed to writhe and twist before her eyes as she looked on. "Here. Hold still."

Bzzt.

A small pulse struck her throat before she could protest, earning him a dark look.

"Relax, it doesn't last long! It might cost me a bit of energy to make it permanent, but I'm sure my Master wouldn't mind too much...

...why?" her voice emerged, harsh and grating to her own ears.

Naruto snorted.

"Let me ask you this, why not?" he replied, resting his chin on a palm. "I like helping people. Kinda my thing if you hadn't noticed. Its in my legend and everything. "

She hated it.

"But I didn't ask...!"

Didn't want to speak to him.

Words threatened to burst out of her, and with them, all the pain of her past. Don't talk. Don't speak. She hated it. Feared the own sound of her words. Somewhere in the back of her mind a key turned, and for a fleeting handful of seconds, her mind opened and she found herself able to think coherently. Icy fingers of dread trailed down her spine and with an effort, she mastered both them, and her sudden sense of self. Ugh. If this was what it meant to be sane she'd happily sink back into blissful madness...

Fran chewed her lip and shook her head, tucking her knees into her chest.

"I...can't. Please don't...don't leave me like this...

"Hey, you don't have to decide now." the scout soothed, patting her shoulder. "Like I said, its only temporary. Just know the offer's on the table if you ever change your mind." those piercing blue eyes seemed to regard her for a long moment, silently taking her measure before coming to a decision. "Ah, fuck it." he decided at last, "What would you say to a ceasefire? I don't attack you, you don't attack me. Sound good?"

Fran cocked her head, her bangs swaying just so to reveal a golden iris.

...what?"

"Well, you seem like an upstanding person, and you actually listened to me." Naruto pointed out. "Caster and Archer tried to skewer me before I even saw them in the castle, so they can fuck right off. Lancer seems like a stuck up bugger. Haven't seen Rider or Saber yet, but I doubt they'll listen to reason unless I tie them down, and that'd take way too much energy. Ergo...

A finger poked her horn.

...you're it."

Merficully, when she opened her mouth, wordless gibberish emerged. Whatever fleeting remedy he'd inflicted upon her had run its course.

Even then, Berserker of Red ferreted out her intent and bobbed his head in agreement.

"What, you want to know that? How did I get up here?" he posited, holding up a finger. "Well, I had to sneak into the castle the old fashioned way, scale the wall and everything. Even had to knock out a few homonculus on the way. I'm pretty sure I tripped all manner of alarms. Also, I may have nailed your Lancer with a stink bomb a few minutes before I ran into you, so he's gonna be-

"There you are, fiend!"

As if to punctuate that very statement, a hail of stakes descended from on high and skewered the doppelganger from head to toe. The act was so sharp and sudden that Frankenstein found herself jerking backwards out of shock. But rather than bleed, the doppelganger merely boomed out a laugh. Though his body now resembled little more than a human pincushion, the clone still retained the wherewithal to face the battlements and snap off a smart, one-fingered salute towards his would-be-killer.

"Nice try, Lancer! Better luck next time! See ya later, Fran!"

The clone flashed her a thumbs up and vanished in a plume of smoke...

...leaving the gleaming horde of memories it had accumulated to return to the original.


(...Scene Break...)


Jeanne d'Arc had bore witness to many strange phenomena in her day.

Saint of Orleans though she may well be, she was no stranger to war and its trappings; indeed, one might call her a veteran of such an affair. She'd long since learned to harden her heart both in and out of combat; to accept wounding others as a necessary-if painful-evil of battle. Sometimes conflict could not be avoided-there were times when words failed and swords had to be drawn. As the impartial mediator between the two factions and the representative for the Great Holy Grail War, she knew she'd have to defend herself sooner or later, likely from other Servants. Some of whom might even assault her outright.

Finding herself under attack straight out the gate-let alone by Lancer of Red-wasn't something Jeanne had predicted per se...

...but it was well within the range of her calculations.

Yet what followed...that was new.

"Dynamic Entry!"

Like a thunderclap from on high, a bolt of crimson tore through the clouds, momentarily giving light to the night. It was with a terrible foreboding that Ruler turned her gaze skyward, just in time to see someone-or something!-rocket out of the sky and deliver a blazing dropkick to Lancer's unprepared gut. Caught unawares, the Servant scarcely had time to grunt before his attacker's momentum caught up with them. A deafening explosion followed hot on the heels of the new arrival's landing; the sheer scope of which forced her to leap back just to escape the blast zone alone.

Ruler wondered if she'd finally lost her mind.

Yes, she reasoned surely she must have.

Nothing else made sense.

For someone-even a Servant to simply fall out of the sky itself and crash headlong into her opponent was so absurd as to border on madness. She knew for a fact that she didn't possess EX-rank Luck; the likelihood of a warrior commencing an orbital drop on someone was so ludicrous as to be nonexistent. He'd appeared so suddenly that she nearly checked her Command Seals out of habit just to make certain she hadn't utilized one by mistake Hmm? Yes, they were still there. Although she retained the ability to summon a Servant of either faction to her side using such a seal, she certainly hadn't. So, where, or more aptly, who...

...had just come to her rescue?

"Aaaaaand he sticks the landing!" a boisterous voice split the night, booming with a poignant cackle. "Thank you! Thank you, baby! Thank-you-very-much! I'll be here all week, folks!"

Despite her gentle nature, Ruler could feel the sweat-drop upon the back of her head.

...ha?"

"Now, that was a Dynamic Entry!" the newcomer declared emphatically, still unseen. "Gai would've been proud!"

As Jeanne looked on in quiet consternation, a cloaked silhouette rose from the fog and smoke, gradually giving way to a brightly clad figure. A broad back emerged, bearing a crimson cloak and hefty scroll over its shoulders. Belatedly she realized the newcomer was facing in the opposite direction. Her disbelief intensified once she realized he'd actually had the gall to strike up a pose of all things. One fist jutted skyward, a lone thumb flicked upward in approval as if he were awaiting a photograph. Blue eyes emerged, framed by whiskered cheeks and wild blond hair, a crazed smile that had seen all the evils of the world and returned unscathed.

Ah.

'I see, now.'

That explained it.

She'd been saved by a hopeless idiot.

Because this was most emphatically a Servant.

Still the question remained; was this one friend or foe?

Wait, this was no time for such unbecoming thoughts! Shaking herself mightily, Ruler seized her flag, mustered up the faltering scraps of her sanity and straightened her back. Untimely though the rescue might've been, she had no way of knowing if this...individual...would attack her on sight as Lancer had. At a glance he didn't appear to possess a weapon of any kind, but then again, the lack of an armament could hardly be cause for relief. He could be this war's Saber for all she knew. Speaking of classes, she found it strange that she couldn't identify him.

Whomever he was, mana leaked from him like a broken sieve.

No, that wasn't quite it. It wasn't that he leaked prana, but rather, he couldn't seem to contain it. The mere act of breathing radiated energy; as though he were only just keeping himself in check. For all his laughter, she suspected the smile was little more than act; a facade put on to deter others. Her unique position in this war-and the information she'd been afforded from the grail-were suddenly of no service to her. Rather than recognizing the newcomer, she experienced a strange sense of unease. Doubly on guard then. Clearly the Servants of this War weren't afraid to attack her outright.

Alas, her curiosity won the day in the end:

"Um, excuse me, but who are...?"

Vwip.

The stranger moved with such speed that Jeanne could've sworn he teleported. There one moment and gone the next, she didn't notice him until he appeared before her. Strong hands clasped around her own and held faist, drawing a soft squeak of surprise from the maiden of Orleans. Not just the inhuman strength behind his grasp, but at the blazing blue eyes suddenly inches from her own. A fleeting heartbeat passed between the two blonds, broken only by the distant sound of rubble tumbling out of the crater that the latter had created.

"Red or Black?

"I...I beg your pardon?"

Jeanne blinked, a tad alarmed.

His expression hardened. "Red. Or. Black."

"N-Neither!" she sputtered out before he could attack.

A glimmer of understanding dawned in that hearstopping gaze.

"Oh, is that so? In that case, I'm Uzumaki Naruto, Berserker of Red, at your service! And you are...?"

Oh heavens, where were her manners?

"I am the judge of the Grail War, Jeanne D'Arc." she hedged, sketching a faint nod. "I thank thee for your assistance, Berserker."

The blond blinked, and the tension drained out of him.

"Oh! So you're Ruler, then? Whew! Sorry about that back there!" at her petulant expression, he clapped his hands together in affirmation and awkwardly scratched the back of his head. "You have no idea what a relief it is to hear that. Seriously. Would've been awkward if I saved someone from the Black Faction. In any case, you should probably step back because that bastard's probably going to get right back up any second now, and when he does he'll be pissed to all hell-OHJEEZ!"

A roaring burst of napalm barreled into the blond's back and catapulted him forward into the mud.

...that was a powerful shot." a low voice growled as the blond kicked himself upright. "You actually knocked me out for a second, there. It won't happen again."

"Er, blondie? Mind telling me who he is, then?"

For a moment, Jeanne nearly decided to hold her tongue. In the end, she thought better of it. Mad or not, Berserker had come to her rescue, and he'd proven himself a pleasant enough sort. She wouldn't fight for him against Lancer-for that would violate her duties as mediator-but she wasn't opposed to obliging him that much at the very least.

"That," she began, turning her gaze towards the pale warrior climbing over the lip of the crater, "Would be Lancer of Red. The hero-god Karna, son of the sun god Surya."

"Eeeeeeeeeh?!"

As she looked on, the blond's exuberant expression turned ashen.

"Wait, that's Karna? The actual Karna?" his face soured, as though he'd taken a bite out of something incredibly foul. "Well bugger me, I wasn't expecting to fight another deity right off the bat! Kaguya was bad enough! You're telling me I dropped kicked him?!"

"You did."

"I, ah...don't suppose you'd be willing to help me?"

Despite her best efforts, the ghost of a smile plucked at Jeanne's lips.

"I will not." she declared. "It is my duty to remain neutral in this war, not to-behind you!"

The cry burst out of her despite her best best attempts to stifle it. A harsh clang caught the whiskered warrior's attention and his arm snapped up a heartbeat later to ward off what would've been a mortal blow. Wincing at his charred sleeve, those wild eyes shot northward.

"Oi, oi, oi! Easy there, hothead! Don't suppose we could talk about this?!"

Rather than attack, Karna regarded him inquisitively.

"Do you mean to face me unarmed?"

Naruto's grin darkened.

"Unfortunately. I'm in a bit of a reduced state thanks to the circumstances of my summoning. Tch." the blond shrugged eloquently, shaking himself like a wet dog. "Damn shame, too. I would've loved to tussle with you at my peak. Our battle would've been one for the ages. But for now? I don't have time to deal with you, so I'm gonna have to send you flying."

"Ho?" Karna divined, tilting his head. "You say that as if you possess enough power to hurt me."

"Something like that. I may not be the same class as you, but...I've beaten a god before."

The low resonating laugh that followed chilled Ruler to her bones and beyond.

Inhaling calmly, Berserker closed his eyes and began to draw power-

'Right then, gotta pull as much sage chakra as I can and-

The world screamed at him.

"Kill you!"

As though a frozen hand forged from the very ice of hell had pierced his chest and gripped his heart, so too did Naruto feel himself freeze. The sudden rush of power he'd gathered slipped through his fingers like an unruly eel, leaving him on his knees and gasping for breath. In its place the furious voice of the world shrieked at him, clawing his thoughts to pieces-one that required all his willpower just to silence. Severing his tether with nature, he wiped a thick bead of sweat from his brow.

"Well, shit. Wonder what changed-GACK!"

With a yelp, he ducked under Karna's lance and kicked up with his heel.

Lancer's weapon descended in kind, roaring down on him with a low roar of flames.

Steel met flesh and neither yielded; rather, she realized, Berserker had somehow managed to catch Karna's golden weapon before it could tear him limb from limb. Impossible as it might seem, he stood his ground. Even now the taller of the two remained rooted, gripping that gleaming shaft of polished metal with a determined grimace. Ruler observed the struggle with a mildly concerned gaze, unyielding as the two warriors grappled with one another, neither gaining the advantage, though the two titans struggled.

"Are you a Servant of Black, then?" Karna inquired, bearing down on the blond Berserker. "In which case, you too must be after Ruler."

"Sorry to disappoint you," Naruto grunted. "but I'm Berserker of Red, not Black."

A flicker of confusion gleamed in Lancer's steely gaze, quickly stifled.

...I see. Might I ask your name then, Berserker of Red?"

Crimson eyes blazed up at him teeming with rage.

"Uzumaki Naruto! Now, grit your teeth!"

"Grit my...?

Using Lancer's weapon as leverage, Naruto reeled him in like a hooked fish.

"RASENGAN!"

To Lancer's credit, he beheld the spiraling sphere and narrowly evaded it by wrenching his body to the side at the last. Berserker's arm shot past, the outstretched fingers clenching into a fist around the sphere. Not a heartbeat later found the limb severed neatly at the elbow...until quite suddenly, it didn't. Lancer's great weapon phased through an empty afterimage and immediately found itself entrapped a second time. A harsh squeeze stifled the snarling orb and arced upward, the limb bending at an impossible angle. Of course, Jeanne realized. It only stood to reason Berserker would have another ace up his sleeve.

She simply hadn't expected it to be so...simple.

"ORAORAORA!"

Clenched knuckles thundered into Karna's unsuspecting visage from all angles as Jeanne looked on; a pounding percussion akin to the drums of a great hunt out for blood. Once. Twice. Thrice. Three successive blows hammered upright into the startled Servant's visage before he had the chance to recover, the fourth taking him hard on the chin and wrenching the pale warrior upright. Momentarily stunned by the strike, the deity nevertheless maintained his ironclad hold upon his weapon-for all the good it did him-only to find himself hauled in yet again. Perhaps, had he simply let go, he might've escaped what followed.

Alas, he did not.

Instead he chose to stand his ground.

To her dismay, comprehension dawned in those pale eyes.

"I see. So that's one of your Noble Phantasm, is it? Peerless physical speed and endurance! Very well then! I shall retaliate in kind! Brahmastra Kunda-

"See, that's the great thing about being a Berserker!" Naruto's voice interjected as flames split the heavens. Grinning, he cocked his arm back, eyes blazing red. "We don't fight fair! But more importantly!" Crimson light enshrouded his outstretched arm, sheathing it in a strange scarlet tether not-unlike that of some great bestial claw. No, more than that. A lariat, she realized, the word springing to her mind unbidden. Whatever it was, it leaped forward and crunched against Karna's half-prepared attack, barreling through it with ease.

Thar ruby arm crunched against Karna's face, bodily catapulting him into the sky.

...we cheat!"

Rather than waste any more of his strength in a pointless struggle for control of the lance, Berserker forsook defense altogether-this of course freed his dominant hand-and flung himself onto the offensive. With a roar the whiskered warrior snapped both arms back, wrapping them in that telltale crimson aura once more. Then he unleashed a torrent of blows upon his unprepared foe; hammering a series of rousing roundhouses into Lancer's side, solar plexus, lungs, throat, every open space he could find that wasn't protected by armor, and some that were.

Still Lancer didn't fall.

In time the warrior of sun regained his lost ground and struck back. As the sun rose, his spear became little more than a flicker of golden radiance, striking at impossible angles, seeming to bend and twist to lunge at Berserker's head. A strike to the arm, followed by an overhead smash, a lunging thrust piercing Naruto's side, all went unanswered. No, Jeanne realized. It wasn't that Berserker didn't retaliate, but rather, he couldn't. Though his blows shook the earth and his toxic aura lashed out with just as much ferocity, he continued to fall back. As if something were physically limiting, preventing him from utilizing his full might. What his true Noble Phantasm sealed somehow...?

As such, it came as something of a surprise when the blond blurred and alighted on a ruined portion of the highway.

A harsh stomp upturned still more of the ravaged road, upturning it to create a temporary pillar.

"Do you flee, Berserker?" Lancer challenged.

"Pretty much!" the blond shrugged back from his impromptu perch, "Look, I can't fight you properly as I am now; something I'm sure you've noticed. But I'm not all that keen on leaving you to attack Ruler either. Mind if we put this fight on hold until tomorrow?" he grinned. "I'll have "permission" by then and I'll gladly give you the fight of your life."

To his credit, Karna almost seemed to consider Naruto's proposal.

In the end, however, he shook his head.

"My Master's orders are absolute." as Ruler looked on, the pale warrior almost seemed to sag. "Out of respect, I will not give chase should you flee, but I have been commanded to take Ruler's head."

"Ah, that's a pity." Naruto sighed. "Well, then I have only one retort to that effect...

A flicker of movement danced in Lancer's peripherals.

...bite me."

Jeanne started.

Again came that short, sharp, explosive burst of speed; this time rendering the pillar little more than crumbled asphalt. Had her eyes betrayed her, or did he glow just before he disappeared? Sure it must've been her imagination...no, when it faded she found Berserker had finally reached Lancer. A long hand thrust itself forward and slapped against Karna's exposed chest. Uncaring of the spear thrust clean through his stomach, Naruto flashed an impish grin up at his foe, laughed even, as that strange symbol blossomed against Lancer's visible skin.

"Have a nice flight!"

In a subdued flicker of golden light, Lancer vanished, leaving Berserker behind with that gaping souvenir. Not even a lasting one at that; to Ruler's disbelief, the ragged gash in his back mended effortlessly; sucking that strange crimson aura back into Naruto's body from whence it came. Just what kind of body was that?

"I...you...what did you just do?!"

"HA!" heedless of her confusion the blond belted out a happy cry, collapsing onto his haunches in a fit of laughter. "Lets see how he likes that! I had to break another damn kunai just to send him away. Good thing, too. I can't use that trick easily." a small snicker fled from his lips as he covered his mouth with a scorched hand. "Ah, I wish I could see the look on his face! It'd be one for the scrapbook!"

Jeanne felt, rather than saw herself collapse.

All the tension had been drained away in an instant, leaving naught but hollow echoes behind.

"No worries." Naruto reassured her, climbing to his feet. "He's halfway across Trifas now. Should take him some time to come back...unless his Master wants to waste a Command Seal. In any case, I think we're out of danger for the time being.

"Ah. I see."

She tried to muster some semblance of propriety, only for her knees to buckle spectacularly. Ah. She'd nearly forgotten about her own battle and the exhaustion that came with it. Quick as you please, Berserker flitted back right to her side like a pale shade. Sure enough that piercing gaze found her right calf, where the armor had been scorched clean through. The flames of the sun were nothing to scoff at-even as she registered them, the pain came roaring back in a red tide, eliciting a wince from the holy maiden.

"Shit, you banged up your leg pretty badly." Naruto breathed, inspecting her wound.

Despite herself, she colored at his concern. "Its nothing, really."

"Nothing my ass," the warrior scoffed. "That's a bad burn."

"Rest assured, this will not impede my-goodness!"

A yelp burst out of her as he made her sit.

Wordlessly he tore off his right sleeve.

"Just hold still, will ya?"

A moment of awkward silence passed between the two blonds; broken only by the sound of fine cloth being wound into place. If Berserker had anything more to say, he did precious little to show it. Even as Jeanne looked on those crystal blue eyes never wavered from her injury. It was such a stark contrast from the crazed warrior she'd seen before that she didn't know what to make of it. She'd already said she wouldn't help him; so why go to such lengths for a mere injury as this? She couldn't turn into her astral form to be sure, but the wound would mend if left well enough alone.

Madness.

Utter madness.

Jeanne shook her head.

"I do not understand you."

"Nothing to understand, missy."

She frowned over her shoulder at him.

"Why are you like this?"

"Eh? Why am I like what?" Naruto posited cheekily. "You'll have to make more sense. Now, hold still...

"You have an old soul, yet a young body." her frown deepened into a wince as he patiently continued wrapping her wound. "Ow!" she admonished him when he bound the cloth a touch too tight. "Not so tight, please. In any case, you claim to be a Berserker class, yet your sanity clearly remains. This should not be possible. You're an aberration. You shouldn't be here. So I ask you, why?"

The young man shrugged.

"Just lucky, I suppose. I got a second chance to enjoy life." He paused, hands grazing her leg as he inspected his work. "I don't really know why and frankly I don't care. There doesn't have to be a reason for everything, ya know. Look at you." he laughed, thumbing his nose. "You're alive again, same as me. I'd say that's a cause for celebration, right?"

"Perhaps you speak the truth. Yet even so, I have a duty to-hmm?!"

Her words trailed off in surprise as he kissed her forehead.

A cheeky smile greeted her blank, stunned silence.

Then came the blush, creeping up her neck.

"W-W-W-W-Whatever was that for?!"

Blue eyes twinkled merrily at her.

...you need to loosen up."

With a grunt, he stood.

"You said you had business with the Red Faction, right? Care to join us?"

Jeanne's world spun in a maelstrom, a ship caught in a storm tossed sea. It was only with the utmost of efforts that she managed to right herself. Berserker-Naruto, she reminded herself-wasn't at all off-putting, he simply dragged others into his pace without any care for what they thought of him. If she didn't know better, she might've called it charisma, but she doubted the whiskered warrior was even aware he retained the skill. Lord above, if he'd possessed this kind of willpower now, what he must've been like when he was alive...?

"Oi, Zombie!"

She'd never been more grateful for an interruption in all of her second life.

Across the ruined road, a distant plume of dust burst into being on the horizon. Both blondes turned to regard it, one with confusion, the other consternation. Gradually it resolved itself into gleaming shape of a warrior clad in full plate-thus it couldn't possibly be Karna-running at them full sprint, charging even. Judging by Naruto's startled croak, he recognized them. Indeed, Jeanne found it almost amusing how quickly Berserker's once hale and healthy visage rendered itself a ghastly shade of white as she looked on. If she didn't know better, she'd say the whiskered warrior was-

"Spirits, she's gonna kill me for leaving her out of this fight." Naruto groaned into his palms. Desperate, he rounded on her. "Oi, Ruler! Hide me!"

Ah, too little, too late.

"You had a fight and didn't tell me?!"

"Look, there's a reason I ran off, Saber-ACK?!"

Mordered landed with sound and fury, her descent all but splintering the ground underfoot. In a blink she had Berserker dead to rights as much as gravity. Seizing by the scruff of the neck as she began to jostle him wildly too and fro. As he'd said, and much to Jeanne's surprise, that terrifying helm folded back to reveal not the face of a man, but a woman instead. Said woman looked all of an instant from tearing Naruto's reason-and his head!-from his shoulders, justified or not.

"Will~you~stop~it~?!" he cried! "I'm getting dizzy!"

She shook him furiously instead.

"Why'd ya run off?!"

"I~didn't~mean~to~!" Naruto groaned/laughed out between shakes. "Mercy, m'lord!"

"Tch...THAT MAKES ME WANNA SHAKE YOU EVEN HARDER, ZOMBIE!"

Looking back on this, Jeanne couldn't help but wonder...

...what on earth had she gotten herself into?

It would prove to be a long morning.

A/N: There we go! Consider this an early Fourth of July present. And if you don't celebrate that, well, then a summer present! Aaaaaaand round one is over! Yes, this fight was short, considering he was just trying to draw Karna off. Consider this a draw. Lords knows what would've happened if Karna busted out Vasavi Shakti, but don't worry...

They'll meet again.

Yes, ALL the previews you've seen are coming, just not quite yet. I didn't want to squeeze too much into this chapter, you know? Ah, this was a treat to write! Fran and Jeanne each had their time to shine, Naruto and Karna fought like absolute beasts, and we've got the beginnings of a harem starting to form.

So In the Immortal Words of Atlas...

...Review...Would You Kindly?

And enjoy the previewssss!

Care to guess what I'm thinking?

TELL ME WHICH ONES YOU LIKE AND WHY~!

(Potential Previews)

Sieg blinked.

"Who...are you?"

A cheeky grin answered him.

"Oh, my boy! You have no idea."

"He really doesn't!" Astolfo chirruped, brandishing her lance.


"See, ordinarily you'd have me beat. But you forgot someone."

Naruto turned a smotheringly smug smile on his foe.

"Ohhhhhh, Jackie-chaaaaaaan~?"

"Mama?"

Assassin tilted her head.

A lone finger turned.

"Sic 'em, please."

She did.


"Oh, bugger."


"Any last words, Zombie?"

...in my defense, I am in no way shape or form responsible for this position-

"CLARENT BLOOD ARTHUR!"


"What'd I do?! I only said that side of you was cute-

A trio of arrows thudded home beside his ear before he could finish.

"Well, shit." the blond gulped out. Don't suppose you'd accept an apology?"

Atalanta knocked a quartet of fresh arrows to her supple bowstring and drew back.

"I'm going to give you a five second head-start, Naruto." she warned. "I suggest you take it."

Honestly, if she hadn't been smiling he would've thought she genuinely intended to kill him! Crazy woman!

R&R~!