A/N a million thanks to Malugzz for the help in checking the text, I hope you all miles, you can check Pinterest if you want to have an idea of my characters board louvaz/sombras tristes y oscuras


Confessions and Desire

When the song ended they were still connected by the look, Christian came up to her and whispered very close to her mouth.

-"I need to be alone with you, you think we could leave?."

Ana nodded, she also wanted to be with him and didn´t want to be in that place any longer, they approached the table to say goodbye and there she noticed that Mike was not there any more.

-"Ethan, I'll get back home with Christian," - she blushed, - "and Mike?"

Ethan smiled. - "Okay, Ana, no problem, Mike left, he said that he had something to do." She nodded, and she knew that Mike had lied, but deep inside she understood.

-"Okay, so I see you later." - He came over and gave her a little hug, Ethan tapped to whisper in her ear.

-"I won´t worry about you sleeping alone tonight." - Ana blushed furiously and nodded. Ethan winked and approached to say goodbye to Christian – " a pleasure."

Christian took his hand, but didn´t like that there was so much confidence between Ana and him, but decided to ignore it for the moment - It's a pleasure too - And told Ethan, "Please call me Christian". - He took her waist and led her out to where Taylor was waiting for them , when he saw her, smile and greet her, when she entered, Christian beckoned to take them to the destination he had planned, Taylor nodded and closed the door and smiling and went to the driver's side, his boss had improved his countenance, certainly the Ana effect.

-"Where are we going?" - Ana asked, putting on her coat,

-"It's a surprise," - Christian said smiling, and without wasting any more time, he took her face and giving her a passionate kiss, Ana answered automatically and raised her hands to his hair and brought them up to his face, so they rested there for a long time until they seperated gasping for air. –" What did Ethan tell you?" - He asked interested.

Ana blushed, even if she had a blush before, now her face was totally red – "He told me that he was no longer worried, that I´ll be sleeping alone" - she said looking at her hands.

Christian tensed – "Did he sleep with you last night?" - he said almost in a whisper, she automatically looked up and caress his face, she answered.

-"No, but he was worried I'd be alone in my apartment." - Christian relaxed visibly and nodded.

-"I understand, I´d worry too," - he said, mimicking her caress.

Shortly after they stopped the car, Christian smiled, and she imitated him without knowing why he did it.

-"Come," - he said, and she look outside the car window and saw that they were in Central Park, she got out of the car and the cool breeze make her shiver and she hug herself to her coat to try to stay warm.

Christian noticed and immediately looked for another coverall that was in the car, he had brought it as a precaution and it seems that it would be necessary after all.

-"Put it on, please" - and he placed it on top of her, it was a thick poncho-shaped cap, and she felt more comfortable automatically, but she looked suspiciously at the coat ...

"-Whose is it?" - asked a little annoyed, looking at Christian and he had one a look of confusion in his face. –" The coat, who is it?" - She repeated, putting her hand on it , she was about to remove it from her shoulders as soon as he answered her question.

-"Oh, I bought it for you, I thought it might be necessary since it's too cold." - Ana smiled and relaxed immidiatelly, tiptoed and gave him a soft kiss on the lips, Christian imitated her smile but was still confused. –" Who did you think it was?" - He asked, Ana blushed and looked down.

"I ... I ..." - But she did not know what to say, she felt silly, he lifted her face with his fingers and make her look at him.

"-Anastasia, I would never give or put something that belonged or belongs to another person, aside, this is the first time I do something like this" - Ana looked at him, in his eyes there was sincerity and with that answer she felt more stupid, Christian was very gentlemanly to think of her.

-"Come," - Christian said, taking her by the hand, she followed him without understanding until they reached a path.

"-What are we going to do?" - she asked, looking around, the park was empty, it was late at night, but it was all lit by the streetlights and lights that remained of the Christmas decorations, she looked at the sky and it was all starry and the moon shone bright, everything was beautiful and romantic. She looked at Christian who was smiling openly, then she heard the sound of horses and before they appeared. She saw one of the carriages that are used for a ride around the park- Are we going to take a ride ? She asked excitedly.

-"Yes, I wanted to compensate you for not having to called you yesterday and from what I told you at the restaurant the other night, I know there are many things to talk about, and we will, but I needed a way to apologize ..." he could not even finish the sentence before she had taken an impulse and jumped him by grabbing his neck, she stamped a passionate kiss on his lips. Christian was taken by surprise, but it freeze him for a second, he immediately put his arms around her waist and deepened the kiss, not caring who could see them, he was happy.

They kept kissing for a few more seconds until they both let each other take a breathe, Ana was smiling openly and looking into his eyes, "Could everything be more incredible? No one had ever prepared this type of surprises for her".

"- Thank you, this is magnificent" - she said smiling . He imitated her. – "Are you happy?" - He asked hopefully.

-"Happy," - she replied, -" You are wonderful, considerate and sweet, thank you." - She said and gave him a chaste kiss. Christian just smiled, no one had ever said that to him and he was not used to those type of complements, he carefully placed her on the ground and guided her to the carriage and help her get in. Taylor had made the arrangements and did a security check, there were really many guards scattered around the park but they were discreet, Ana didn´t need to know all the precautions that were taken so that she could take this ride around Central Park.

Christian sat down next to Ana and the ride began, she leaned on his arm and he tensed for a moment, she felt this and quickly got up and looked at him

"-What's up?" - she said worried, Christian closed his eyes and breathe deeply

-"I do not like being touched in my chest and my back," - he said in a whisper, and in his voice there was fear, Ana didn´t ask any more, she knew he had internal conflicts, she only hoped that one day he would trust her enough.

-"Okay, I will not touch you there," - she said softly, - "Can I lie on your arm or does that bother you?" - He shook his head and she smiled and lay back on his shoulder, he looked at her from above, then he thought for a moment about the fact that she had lean her head to his chest and didn´t bother him, on the contrary, he liked alot to feel the heat of her body , without much thought he moved his arm a little and Ana's head fell on his chest, there was no fire, no pain, only a sense of peace he had never felt, she tried to move but he squeezed her more to his body with a hug.

- "Stay ..." - he said looking at her, she saw him frightened before and didn´t want to bother him – "Just don´t put your hands on my chest please" - he said whispering like a frightened child, she smiled and placed her head in his chest and let herself be embraced by him. After a while Christian relaxed completely, he knew he could trust her. He felt safe and content and put his head on hers so they would be glued to each other. They made the tour in silence, enjoying the scenery and the company.

The ride lasted an hour, not talking much on the way, only Christian to asking whether she was cold or not. She was answering that she was not and smiled when the ride had finish. They returned to the vehicle and Ana gave directions to Taylor how to reach her apartment. They were not so far away from it.

-"Thank you for tonight, it was wonderful," - Ana told him.

-"You have nothing to thank me for," - he said, taking her hand and kissing her knuckles without losing eye contact.

The car stopped indicating that they have arrived, Taylor opened Ana's door and helped her out, Christian came out after her, when she was going to take off the coat, he stopped her.

-"No, it's for you," - he said firmly, she nodded and walked to the door with Christian, when they were at the entrance of the building they looked at each other.

-"You want to come in?" - Ana asked nervously.

-"If you want," - he said, and she started to enter the building, waved goodbye to Taylor and entered, Christian beckoned Taylor, and followed her through the lobby, they get in the elevator and she put a code on and start going up.

The atmosphere filled with a heavy energy, both stared at each other and Christian stroked her face with his hands, when the elevator stopped the door opened, entering the lobby of the main hall, Ana left first and Christian followed, the department was much larger than the one she had in Seattle, but it also had windows that overlooked the city from any angle of NY.

-"Please come in and get comfortable," - she said. - "Would you like something to drink?" - she asked as she took off her coats and she was left with the dress, the temperature was pleasant there.

-"A glass of wine," - Christian said and walked to the couch and took a seat. Ana went to the kitchen and moments later came back with a bottle of white wine and two glasses, opened up and served it, and she sat next to Christian –" The apartment is very spacious and elegant".

Ana looked at the view for a moment, it was broad and elegant, too much for her taste, she never changed anything, the decoration was the same as when her mother and her husband lived there, for her, it was just a place to stay when she was in NY, the only thing she loved, from that place was the view.

-"You're right," - she replied looking at him, - "it was the decoration I suppose my mother and her husband have chosen, I didn´t change anything."

-"I'm sorry," - he said distressed. - "I did not want to bring sad memories."

Ana shrugged – "You don´t, you know that my mother and I had not contact for years, this - She made a gesture with his hand to indicate the place - Is her way of apologizing.

-"I understand, but I suppose it still hurts," - he said taking her hands.

-"Yes, a little," - she said with a sigh. - "But I've learned to live with it," - she said with a little sadness. - "It's hard to get used to the idea that your mother doesn´t love you."

Christian's eyes widened, she had told him that she didn´t talk to her mother and had not seen her in years, but she never told him that her mother did not love her.

-"I can´t believe that she didn´t love you," he said, stroking her face, she looked at the floor. -"You told me yourself that she was in your graduation and that when she died, she left everything that she own to you".

Ana looked up and her eyes glittered with tears, when she spoke did it with a broken voice.

-"She was in my graduation but didn´t come to greet me." – She said as a tear fell down her cheek, Christian wiped his thumb and stroked his face.

-"Maybe was afraid you'd reject her," - he said softly.

-"She left me money, property, business, and a letter explaining her reasons, where she apologized and told me that she loved me," said the last in a sob, tears streaming down her face. – "But was not able to leave me a good memory of her, a mother's love kiss, a smile and a caress for me to remember her with affection" - his words were hard, and her tears continued – "Do you know what is the last thing I remember from her?" - Christian shook her head –"I remember her telling me that his husband no longer loved her and it was my fault, and for that she would never forgive me, so I should forget that I have a mother, and then she left. She didn't care that I begged her, that I apologise for something that I didn't do, that I beg her to stay. She just left the room and left me alone, without money, without company, in a hospital bed."- She cried as she said this. Christian put her on his lap and he hugged her tightly, she lifted her arms around his neck, put her head in the space between his neck and shoulder and cried harder, he began to rock her back and forth to try to calm her, it broke his heart to see her like this, she was always smiling and was so strong, but now he knew, all was a ilusion and Ana had a broken heart.

Ana could not stop crying, she needed to get so many emotions out of her chest and with him, she felt safe and protected. In his arms she felt calm, she had said more than she should, since only Ray knew what had happened with Carla, but she could trust Christian, she knew that he would protect her and take care of her.

For him it didn´t go unnoticed what she told him, about the hospital, but for a moment he wouldn´t ask anything any more, but at some point later, he would touch the subject again. He continued rocking her until the tears ceased and her breathing was regulated, when he felt her calmer, he took her face and lifted so he could look at her.

"-Are you better?" - He asked worriedly.

-"Yes, I´m sorry" - she said, embarrassed.

"- Ey, you don´t have to be sorry for, it´s ok, I´m here for you." - she smiled at him, and he lean and gave her a kiss, the kiss started sweet but it was rising in intensity, she crush her arms around him more and raised her hands to his hair and entangle her fingers, he imprisoned her waist and press her more to his chest, with one hand held her head, Ana opened her mouth and Christian took advantage to explore it, their tongues found themselves in a sensual dance and their bodies were lit every second, Christian lowered his hand that was at her waist up to her legs and went down to find the opening of the dress, then placed the hand on her leg and was rising it up to his thighs. When he was caressing her leg up, he felt the tip of lace stockings and garter belt and gasped, kissing her with more passion and let his hand stroked the space of bare skin.

The other hand went down from her head to her neck and then to her breast and began to caress it gently but then felt the tip of her nipple and squeezed it with a little strength. Ana moaned and stirred uneasily on his lap, making the package in Christian's pants grew, he began to caress more tightly the breast and the hand that was on her thigh rose to reach Ana's ass, massaged it tightly, bringing it closer to his body, the hand that was on her breast moved until he found the zipper on the back, and slowly lowered it until it was opened completely. When Ana felt this, she broke the kiss, Christian was confuse, she moved and get up holding the front of the dress, he looked at her with a worried face perhaps he had exceeded, but that was the last he thougth, because she let the dress fall down to her feet. Christian let out a gasp, she was standing in front of him with her hair cascading down her shoulders, wearing a white strapless bra with thong and silk slippers, stockings with bone lace tip, still rising on her heels. The image was impressive, flawless, her skin was like porcelain without imperfections, she was a goddess, he rose slowly without losing visual contact, stroked her arms with his fingertips and watched as she shivered, she was blushing and that made her even more beautiful, he thought. He came over and took her mouth again, this time with more strength and desire, his hands traveled straight to her buttocks and massaged them. Ana put back her hands throw his hair, and came closer to press herself to his strong chest, she felt that under his shirt the hardness of his body and she wanted more than ever to feel his warmth, the kisses were deepening and intense, he felt with each caress stiking them more their bodies, she felt in her abdomen something hard that beat with force, in an impulse, she jumped and wrapped her legs around his waist, he held her from her thighs, there was no turning back, the desire consumed them both, Christian broke off and looked up, in her eyes he saw lust and uncontrolled desire.

-"Your room," - he said in a hoarse voice full of desire, the intensity of his words and tone made her tremble with desire and when she spoke she did not recognize her voice, she was panting and pleading.

-"Up the stairs the 3rd. door to the right" - without hesitation Christian followed her directions, with her in his arms he walked to her room, effortlessly lifted her up the stairs but several times had to stop in the hall, because while he walked, she kissed his chin, cheek, gently bit the earlobe and gave kisses at the corner of his mouth, everything she did drove him crazy, the only thing he wanted was to be able to kiss every part of her body and worship her, when he reached her door unceremoniously opened and closed it with his foot, when he saw the bed, he came and slowly put her on it, continuing kissing her, gently took her hands that were anchored in his neck and gently laid them on the bed over her head, pulling away a little and stood up to admire her. She was there in bed in her underwear with her hair spread out on the bedspread, the hands arched, her face lighted with desire and a broken breath, it was beautiful, appetizing, provocative ...

Ana saw how he looked at her and that made her desire to light up more, the moisture she felt between her legs increased by seconds just looking at him, he still wore his pants and shirt, the hair was messy and sexy, his gray eyes burning with desire, his lips were parted and his breathing was quick and irregular, his gaze returned to her mouth, she wanted that mouth running through her body, her skin.

Christian took off his shirt slowly and when he let it fall to the floor, Ana gasped, his perfect abdomen was exposed, showing that curvature that reached the pelvis, he put his hands on his pants, unbuckle them and let it fall and take them of, he stood alone in boxers and was an image worth admiring, his arms muscular and his toned shoulders wide and strong. Ana admired the perfect man in front of her, she didn´t know what she had done to be so lucky, she wanted to run her fingers through those marked muscles and give kisses to every corner of his abdomen, but quickly discarded that thought, remembering what he said before, he slowly came down to find her, was leaning on one knee and looked at her from above, lowered his head and began to kissing her lips, then her chin and then went to her neck, licking the lobe of her ear and left soft kisses until reaching her collarbone. Ana moaned and struggled to leave her hands still, wanted to pass her nails down his back and hold him tight, but she abstained, he continued giving kisses, until reaching her breasts and he over the fabric kissed them, returned to Ana's lips and kissed her intensely while his hand went to her back and loosened the bra, when he did it, leaving her lips and came back his gaze went to her breasts, removing the lace and there they were uncovered, two round breasts, soft and pink, her nipples hardened before his eyes, and without wasting time he went down to them to kiss them, he started with one, he sucked, licked, bit lightly and massaged the other with his hand, then he changed tho the other one and repeated the same process, Ana writhed and moved under his lips, she wanted to feel everything , she wanted to give herself to him and let him take her.

"-Christian" - Ana moaned as he kissing her, it was the first time he was in another bed with a woman because he always have sex in his playroom, but it drove him crazy, it was the first time a woman had spoken his name while he was kissing and he was excited , it was the first time he was going to make love to a woman and he could not wait.

"-Ana" - he said in a whisper and devoured her lips completely covering her body with his, she thoughtlessly brought her hands to his hair and grabbed him hard to bring him closer, and he, at this sensation moaned, he loved that she played with his hair and grabbed him, they kept kissing intensely, he caressed her breasts with one hand while the other caressed her leg, he knew he could not stand much longer, so he separated from her and stared at her.

"-Ana, I want you, never in my life have I wanted anyone like I do with you."

"-I want you too. - she said panting"

"-Please let me make love to you." - He said pleadingly, he never thought that these words would come out of his mouth, but with her everything was simple, she deserved that, she deserved sweetness and caresses.

"-Yes" - she said and kissed him again, the kiss became intense again, carnal, passionate, and when they parted in his eyes there was fire - please Christian, I need you.

"-Ana" - he said and kissed her neck and her breasts, went down to her abdomen and kept going down, when he was reaching her hips he stopped and looked at her, she had her hands again on her head, eyes closed and trembled, but not from desire like before, this scared Christian, who lifted right away

" - Ana what happens?" - He said worried.

She still didn´t open her eyes, it was stupid, but when she felt that he was going down the road she began to tremble, she wanted him, of that she was sure, but she was afraid of doing something wrong, she had no experience and surely he was used to willing and experienced women, and although it bothered her to imagine him with another woman, she couldn´t avoid comparing herself.

Christian approached her and delicacy he stroked her face, the tenderness of his touch made her open her eyes, and what he saw in them were many emotions, fear, shame and sadness.

-"Ana, you know I will not do anything you do not want, right?" - He said this firmly but gently, he didn´t want to scare her, much less that she feared him, Ana deciphered what he was thinking and imitated his caress.

"-I know, and it's not what you think, I want you." - she said in a weak but firm voice.

"-So?" - she wanted to incorporate, so he got up, sat on one leg in front of her, she sat on the bed and felt ashamed of her nakedness, Christian understood and took his shirt off the floor, she looked at him and she smiled gratefully, covered her breasts and sighed.

"-Forgive me please" - she said sincerely embarrassed – "I ruined the moment" - Christian stroked her face and she leaned on in that caress.

"-There is nothing to forgive" - he said sincere – "But I want to know what scared you" - she looked at him amazed –" You were shaking Anastasia" - he said firm – "Something scared you."

"- I ..." - she started hesitant –" I was afraid of disappointing you."

"-Why were you afraid of that?, you could never disappoint me." - he said this by placing a lock of her hair behind her ear.

"-Idon´thaveexperienceChristian" - she said everything at once quick and whispering, Christian smiled.

"- Can you repeat it but slowly?" - Ana sighed.

"-I don´t have experience" - Christian smiled bigger, you could tell that she was an inexperienced girl, that she was sexy without trying and attractive as anyone, he liked that she didn´t have much experience, he did not want to think about who was before of him, but he liked that she was like that.

"-Ana, and what does it matter?"

"-What happens if I do something wrong and you don´t like it" - she said embarrassed

"- What could you do wrong?" - He asked interested.

"-I don´t know ... Something" - she said shy.

"-Let's see" - he said sighing and trying to remain as calm as he could, although the thought tormented him – "Tell me how was the last time for you and we will leave from there."

Ana looked at him strangely – "The last time? What last time?" - she said with doubt

Christian sighed, she was not going to make it easy – "The last time you were with someone Ana" - he said wearily touching his forehead with his fingers.

Ana was surprised "what did he understand?" She thought – "Christian, there is no last time"

He looked up suddenly "there is no last time? Was she today with someone? ... Ethan? "His eyebrows were together and his face was beginning to show anger.

"-What did you understand when I told you that I had no experience?"

Christian sighed frustrated – "You had not been with many men Ana" - he said between teeth.

She laughed, Christian narrowed his eyes and looked at her – "I don´t know what could be so funny" - he said firmly

With a funny gesture she smiled and her face flushed furiously "I'm going to have to spell it" she thought

"-Christian, what I meant, is that I have no experience, I am a virgin."

Christian's mouth opened completely and his eyes almost came out of amazement

"-Virgin?" – he whispered, Ana nodded shaking her head.

"-That bothers you?" - she said whispering also, "bother me?, oh no baby, of course not, I'm happy" he thought and smiled.

"-Of course not Ana" - he said approaching her and taking her hand in his.

" - Of course not, and you have nothing to worry about, you could never disappoint me, on the contrary you constantly surprise me."

She smiled widely.

"- But I must ask, and it´s not that I complain, but how is it that you are still a virgin until now?" - Ana's smile fell a little and she looked away.

"-I was never interested in anyone that way" - she said looking away, Christian took her face and made her turn to him, his eyes showed sadness and fear.

"-What's up Ana?" - He said, she looked at him and wondered "how, it's always known that something happens" –"And please do not lie to me" – He said firm.

Ana sighed deeply, for many minutes she was silent, Christian began to lose patience, when he was going to ask her again she started.

"-When I was younger, someone tried to abuse me" - she said in a whisper, Christian tensed and his gaze became murderous, she didn´t look at him, she looked at her hand in Christian's hands – "That's why for a long time I allowed no one to approach me, after years of therapy, I went over it little by little and tried to go out with some companions but every time someone came close or tried to kiss me I panicked, that diminished when I entered the university and I knew Kate, José and Ethan, they helped me overcome my dramas and little by little I got over my phobia and allowed contact, I went out with some guys during my university years but nothing was ever serious and nobody ever woke up that kind of interest in me ... until I met you."

Christian didn´t say anything, he was shocked by this news, but when he looked at her, he saw that she looked at him smiling, and couldn´t understand, how this woman, this wonderful woman had just told him something so intimate and difficult and she was just there smiling at him, it really surprised him.

"- Hey" - she said – "It was a long time ago, I got over it, but please don´t look at me like that."

"-How?" - He asked intrigued

"- With pity" - he took her face and gave her a long soft kiss.

"-Ana, I would never look at you with pity, I look at you with admiration, you have gone through so much and yet here you are, strong, proud, precious, God you are wonderful"- and he kissed her again.

She smiled – "I'm not wonderful, I just don´t let that define me, I live my life with the pains of the past and I get over them, I just go ahead, there are worse things in life, and in the end nothing really happened to me, but there are people who don´t run with the same luck."

Christian nodded, he was even more amazed by his last words, "I don´t let that define me ... definitely this woman is unique and wonderful" he thought

She stroked his face –" Forgive me..." - she said softly."

"-Why?" - he asked surprised.

"-For kill the moment."

"-Ana, you have not killed anything, on the contrary, you have given me one more reason to affirm that you are unique, and that each moment with you will be unmatched"- he gave her a sweet kiss and rested his forehead with hers –"I think it is very late and you must sleep."

"-Okay... would you stay?" - Asked insecurely.

"-There is no other place in the world where I would like to be" - Christian said, Ana smiled

She got out of bed took a pajama and went to the bathroom to change, Christian sent a message to Taylor telling him he would stay and tomorrow to look for him, he was sitting leaning on the head of the bed looking out the window, in a moment he had decided to follow Flynn's advice and not find out anything about her life and let her tell him, but this information was in his head and his nature struggled with himself not to call Welch and demand that he find out everything he could about Anastasia.

He kept thinking a thousand things when she came back from the bathroom, wearing a white T-shirt and a striped shorts with her hair down and her face without a trace of makeup, she was beautiful.

When Ana returned, she found the image of Christian in her bed reclining by the headboard, he had his chest naked and only on his boxers, she had to contain the drool that threatened to leave, climbed to the bed and settled down, he turned off the light and he got behind her, pulled her close to his body and pressed her back to his chest, inhaling her scent and kissed her on the head.

"-Goodnight Christian, thanks for staying with me" - she said in a sleepy voice.

"-Good night, you have nothing to thank" - he looked at her and saw that she slept right away, she had a smile on her lips and her breathing was slow and calm, he felt so good to have her in his arms, this was not what he had planned when they went to her room but nothing could be more perfect, she deserved tenderness and caresses and although he was not a man who knew about that, he said, that for her, he would try, and with this thought he fell asleep and for the first time in years he slept peacefully without nightmares, with the image of a beautiful woman sleeping in his arms.