Disclaimer: These characters belong to the Nickelodeon Animation Studios and Jhonen Vasquez.
Partly inspired by the episode: The Sad, Sad Tale of Chickenfoot
May God bless you all.
"Sorry nothing I can do." Said the computer.
"No! There must be some kind of advantage that the defect gives Zim!?" Asked the green alien.
"The only advantage it gives is that a defective pak cannot be erased by the control brains. Even if its holder is killed." Replied the Computer.
"Gahhh!" Zim groaned in frustration. He had been attempting for hours now to figure out what sort of advantages his pak could have, but most of the test had shown pretty much the opposite actually.
"I'm going to the couch!" He said as he headed for the elevator.
"Might want to take your human with you." The computer suggested.
"My human?" Asked Zim.
"She's still in the simulation room." Answered the A.I.
"What!? It's be… grrrr!"
"Fine! Take me down there!" He demanded as he got in the elevator.
The doors closed and the elevator shot down.
"Gaz-human! Cease your gaming!" He ordered as he ran to her.
No response.
"Computer shut down simulation!" He demanded.
"That would be unwise as she is in the middle of a battle. Shutting down now may cause some damage to both her brain and cornea." The Computer warned.
"Grrrr! Fine! Get me in there!" He demanded.
A chair appeared from the floor and Zim sat down.
Only to see that the Gaz-human…
…Was still on the level one general?
"Uhhh…" Groaned Dib as he awoke. "Waa… Where am I?"
"Oh, you're awake, good." Said a somewhat familiar voice.
"Who's that?" He asked.
"Hello… Dib…" Said the voice.
Dib's opened his eyes. It was blurry at first but eventually, he saw…
"Wait I know you!? Um…"
"Yup take your time Dib." Said the man.
"Uhh…Chickenfoot… yeah your that guy that was in the costume." Said Dib.
"Ding ding ding ding… though now it's just Chewy… Chewy Rodriguez." Replied Chewy.
"Wait what's going on?" Asked Dib.
"Well someone's been busy." Said Chewy. "Busy looking for aliens I can see."
"What!? What are you…"
Chewy looked over at the device Dib was using to track Spork's movements.
"Oh… wait why… what…"
"You're confused… allow me to rectify that." Said Chewy.
"You see Dib, I had it pretty much made." Said Chewy.
"What?"
"Before you came along and ruined my whole Chickenfoot thing people thought I was just some legend or something like that… They never suspected anything could come from a guy like me." He said.
"You were raging about being cursed to wear a chicken suit." Said Dib.
"Exactly! No one suspected a thing." Chewy replied.
The man reached into his pocket and revealed some photos. Which he handed to Dib.
"Wait… how'd you…"
"See my boy when people think you are crazy they don't really pay too much attention to what you do… they kind of just write it off." He told him.
Dib went through the photos and saw multiple pictures of Zim without his disguise. Also, Gir without his dogsuit, some pictures of Dib and Gaz, Zim's base, ship… and a birthday party…"
"Oh, sorry about that last one, some friends at work threw it for me. I work for the taco place now." He said.
"Wait, so you know Zim's an alien." Said Dib.
"Of course, I know… Agent Mothman!" Said Chewy.
"Ag…" Dib gasped. "You're a part of the Swollen Eyeball!"
"A part?" Chewy laughed. "My dear boy…"
"…I founded the organization."
"Almost, come on!" Gaz shouted at the, well whatever kind of alien he was.
It had been nearly an hour and yet she had only gotten him down to about half his health bar; and like almost every boss he only got stronger as his bar went down. Still, she would not give up. She would fight until the bitter end and if that meant being on this all night she would…
*boom*
"General Swazar defeated." The simulation audio narrator said.
"Ending simulation." Said the A. I.
Gaz looked to see Zim in front of her.
"Now, that that's done can you please exit Z… ack!"
"What's the big idea?" She asked. "Coming in and wrecking my playthrough."
"HOF,…Z…." Struggled to say with the girl's hands around his neck.
"I go at him for about an hour and you just show up and…"
"Oh, I want to play!" Yelled Gir as he launch himself at Gaz.
"You're my dance partner now." He said as he twirled her.
"Computer!" She yelled.
"On it." The computer replied as it activated the magnet that caused Gir to fly to the ceiling.
"Weeeee!" He yelled as he ascended.
*cough* *cough* "What was that for?" Asked Zim as he rose.
"Ruining my game." She said as she walked by him.
"Please I defeated the weakling known as Swaser who you were too pathetic to beat!" Said Zim.
"What did you say?" Gaz said as she turned to him.
"Um… what no… don't… Computer!" Zim pleaded.
"You're on your own buddy." Came the response.
Zim shielded himself from the doom that was sure to come. However, when no doom came he looked over to Gaz who was walking to the elevator. She entered and turned.
Zim… wasn't really sure, but he thought… maybe just maybe… he could see… just before the elevator's doors closed…
…Was that a tear in her eye?
"Wait you started the Swollen Eyeball!?" Dib exclaimed.
"Yup, from before you were born." Replied Chewy.
"So… what's your codename?" Asked Dib.
"I don't have one. It's what I'm supposed to be. A shadow…" He said.
"So, if you know Zim's an alien then why not just reveal it to the world like on mysterious mysteries or some show or…"
"You're not listening Dib…" Chewy interrupted. "…A shadow doesn't go on a tv show live and disclose all the evidence he has of extraterrestrials."
"Yeah, but I could do it for you…" Said Dib.
"Right, because that worked so well the last time." Chewy pointed out.
It was true, Dib had I believe embarrassed himself on the show two times though one time… well he got Chewy's point.
"Well, how about another agent or…"
"Stop, Dib. That's not why we're here." Said Chewy.
"Why are we here… wait where is here?" He asked.
"Listen kid I'm going to get straight to the point. You ruined my cover, and now you have more aliens right here in this very town and yet I am unable to acquire more evidence." He said. "Thanks to you."
"I'm sorry." Said Dib. "I wish I had known we could have worked together."
"We still can Dib." Said Chewy causing a smile to come to Dib's face.
"Oh really great what can I do?" He asked.
"Oh, it's simple really… the purple-eyed one. The female." Said Chewy.
"Tak?" Asked Dib.
"Yes, that one…" He replied. "…I just need to know where her base is."
At this, Dib seemed unsure. I mean almost every fiber of his being wanted to tell the leader of the Swollen Eyeball where Tak's base was located… but at the same time…
"Um… why do you need to know that?" Asked Dib.
"For reconnaissance." Answered Chewy.
"Oh, I can do that for you." Said Dib.
"No, you can't…" Chewy answered. "…She'd see you as a double agent a mile away."
"This is how it's going to go Dib. You're going to tell me where her base is and I'm not going to remove a certain Agent Mothman from the Swollen Eyeball." Chewy continued.
"What? No, you can't!"
"I'm going to count to 10 Dib…" Chewy said as he took out his phone.
"Wait… hold on!"
"3…"
"Wait please don't."
"7…"
"Listen Chewy… I'm sorry I…"
"9…"
"No, please!"
"Well, are you going to tell me?"
Dib thought to himself. Why didn't he just tell the guy what he wanted to know? However against all logic and reason… he just couldn't.
"I'm sorry!" He said as he put his face in his hands.
"Don't be." Said Chewy. "You just passed."
"Wait what!?" Dib exclaimed as he looked up at Chewy.
"Oh come on Dib… you don't think I already know where the purple-eyed one's base is?" He asked.
"So, this was some sort of test… but I didn't tell you."
"That was the test Dib. To be a part of the Swollen Eyeball one must not crack under the guile of torture." Chewy said.
"Wait so am I being moved up a rank?" Asked Dib.
"Ha, ha, ha, that's a good one." Replied Chewy. "This just means I trust you a little more." He said as he turned to leave.
"Wait… where are you going? Where are we?" Asked Dib.
"What are you talking about?" Chewy answered. "We're still in your father's lab."
With that, he turned on the lights and Dib realized they had never left his house.
"I'll be in touch… Agent Mothman." Said Chewy as he ran up the stairs.
Dib followed but didn't see where he went. All he saw was…
"Gaz?" Asked Dib as she came through the door.
"Don't talk to me." She said as she walked up the stairs.
"Something wrong?" He asked but got no response.
After she closed her door Dib ran to the window…
…but saw no one.
Gaz buried her face in her pillow.
It was one thing to be beaten by Zim (not like it hadn't happened before), it was another to be rescued well in a virtual sense by him, but pathetic really!? But the thing is that she was pathetic. She spent so long trying to defeat one level. One Level! Then Zim barges in and blows the general away with one attack. This was games! This was her field, not his! Well… it wasn't supposed to be.
It was true that Zim wasn't awful at video games, like okay he was actually good, but how was she struggling this much when the "elite" was dominating.
She roared in her pillow. She then tossed it aside and just lay on her back. Wait a second what was she doing!?
Gaz got up and marched out of her room. She could tell from the corner of her eye that Dib was on his computer. She then quickly made her way outside…
…and towards Zim's house.
"Yay, angry monkey!" Gir shouted.
In truth, Zim enjoyed the show but Gir took it to the next level.
*wham*
"Ack! Gaz-human!?" Zim shrieked.
There was no response. All Gaz did was walk over and join them on the couch.
"Um… Gaz-human?" Asked Zim still cautiously making sure he was in a position to defend himself if need be.
"You win." Was all Gaz said in response.
"What!?"
"You win." She repeated.
"Yes, victory for Zim!" He said as he stood up and raised his arms.
"Um… what did Zim win?"
"I'm pathetic." She told him.
"Oh… are you still on that?" Asked Zim.
"I can't even get past level 1." She said.
"Look Gaz-human…" Said Zim as he rejoined her on the couch. "…Zim may have been a little hasty earlier. There's actually a reason you can't beat any of the bosses."
"What? What reason?" She asked.
"I told you it was usually reserved for irken elites. And you Gazlene are human." He said.
"So?" She asked.
"Well, how can I put this in simpler terms?"
"Keep talking to me like that and I will destroy you." Gaz warned.
"Um… well I guess I'll just get right to it. That simulation was meant for irkens, not humans."
"Zim… if you don't just tell me." She threatened.
"Okay!" He replied. "But it is quite simple."
"You don't… have a pak!"
Chewy opened the door to his apartment. After a long day of promoting Tacos and Swollen Eyeball stuff a studio apartment looked rather pleasant. He practically collapsed on his bed, but knew he would only be getting around six hours before his next shift.
*ring* *ring*
He must have fallen asleep because all of a sudden it was noon. He stumbled to find the phone…
"Hello?" He asked when he finally did.
"I'm in the alley." A voice from the other line said.
"Give me five minutes."
"Okey-dokey."
Chewy stood in his taco suit. It made sense to just get ready for work at the same time and it's not like what he was doing was illegal or anything.
"Hello?" He asked noticing nobody in the alley near the restaurant which was actually only a couple blocks from his apartment.
"You got the tacos?" Asked a voice nearby.
"You got the pictures?" He asked.
"Nope, first show me the tacos." Said the voice.
"Nah… first reveal yourself." Chewy replied.
Suddenly the dumpster started to shake and a rather short robot in a trench coat popped out.
"Hi, Chewy!" Gir screamed. "Where are my tacos!?"
"Where's my pictures?" He asked back.
Gir opened his lid and took several photos out. Chewey then took the photos from Gir while simultaneously handing him several tacos.
"Be careful those are volcano-level spice." He warned.
"Feeling hot hot hot…" Was all Gir replied before he changed into his dog suit and ran off.
Chewy went over each photo carefully. They were mostly of a new irken base. As he went through the last set he noticed a shadowy figure. The photo was off but one thing was clear. The figure had two pink irken eyes.
Chewy chuckled slightly. However, when he got the very last picture he scratched his chin.
"Now this one…"
"…I don't know."
Thank you for all who made it to the end. Don't forget to leave a review.
May God bless you all.
