Author's Note:
No triggers for this chapter though it's a bit of a doozy. As always please review and let me know what you think.
Astrid was in the waiting room finishing up some paperwork when she heard the news on the radio. Dropping her pen on the desk as she and every other person in the room turned to look at the radio. Her blood running cold at the news. It was official. The great freakin U.S of A had joined the war. She felt her world start to spin. There was now no longer any safe place to go.
Barely making it through the rest of her shift she rushed home. Finding Shamira on the couch with her head in her hands.
"You've heard the news haven't you," Astrid stated closing the door behind them. It was no longer safe to speak in German. Hadn't been safe in a long time. The only time they used it was when they were communicating with thoughts. Like they were doing right now. Astrid linking their minds as Shamira tapped her head.
'We need to come up with a plan,' Shamira thought hopping off the couch and pacing around the room. 'Now that we are officially at war the chance for spies is much greater. We are in danger staying in such a large city. I think tonight we should pack up and start heading out west. Get a farm out in the middle of nowhere. Start with wheat or something. I'm thinking Kanas. I highly doubt he even knows that Kansas exists.' She was rambling. Unable to get her thoughts out fast enough.
Astrid shook her head slowly. 'I can't go.'
'What?' Shamira stopped her pacing and took a few steps towards Astrid. 'What do you mean you can't go?' That was always the plan if this country got involved. What could have possibly changed?' Her thoughts went silent. A look of realization spreading across her face. 'It's Steve isn't it.'
'I can't leave without him." Her hands curled into fists. "I love him Shamira. I can't imagine life without him. He's the man I want to marry. The man I want to father my kids.'
Shamira shrugged. 'Then he comes with us.'
'And if he says no?'
'Then we come up with another plan.' Shamira pulled her in a hug. 'Whatever happens, we are in it together. As we always have been. As we always will be.'
They slowly separated when they heard the door open and Steve and Bucky come in. Astrid took a deep breath. Wondering how she was going to word this to Steve.
"You've heard the news?" Steve asked her planting a kiss on her cheek.
"Kinda hard not to." She rubbed the back of her head. "Listen Steve I-"
"Bucky and I are going to enlist." Bucky rolled his eyes at that declaration.
And what Astrid was about to say died on her tongue. Looking Steve up and down. There was no way he was going to agree to move. This was hit him hard as well. Just in a completely different way. "What?"
"We're going to enlist." Astrid continued to stare at him. Still wondering if she was hearing things. Steve? Steve the man who couldn't run a mile without breaking down due to an asthma attack. The man who spent most nights in the winter barely keeping warm enough to not freezing to death was going to enlist. He took her hand. "I'm going to help fight the men that destroyed your country, your families."
"Steve that's impossible."
Steve looked taken aback. Hurt. "Astrid there are men lining up to serve. Ready to give their all. I'm ready to do the same." Astrid glanced back at Bucky. Seemed like he had this argument earlier. His eyes asking her to talk Steve out of it.
"No Steve I'm literally saying it can't be done. They won't take you. You won't pass the damn physical."
"Which is why Bucky is going to train me to pass." There was an edge to his voice. An edge Astrid had never heard before. And it hit her that this was a turning point in their relationship. One that could make or break it. Her head telling her it was stupid. Illogical. That she should protect Steve no matter the cost. But her heart… Her heart said something else.
"This is really important to you isn't it?" The look Steve gave her told her everything. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. No matter how much training Bucky did they would never take Steve. But that wouldn't stop him from trying. Serving meant everything to Steve. For what would be a greater calling than fighting against an evil purpose hell-bent on taking over the world. Standing up for what is right. Astrid shrugged. "I guess I'll have to get used to having an army boyfriend." The relief in his eyes was evident but also the unmistakable look of joy. He pulled her in for a kiss. Tugging at her to connect their minds so that he could express all that he couldn't say. And Astrid understood. He would do anything to serve.
"Have you lost your mind?" Shamira asked looking between Astrid and Steve. They broke off the kiss. "You can't honestly tell me that you support this?"
"Someone has to fight," Astrid snapped back undeservedly so. But she was riding the high of Steve's emotions. "Before he destroys more people's lives."
"Astrid you were there. You remember the carnage, the death. You literally watched all our friends explode in front of you." Oh, she remembered. She remembered the blood and screaming. The sounds of explosions, of gunfire, screeching trains. She remembered it all. Often when she least wanted to.
"I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy and you are willing to send the love of your life into that nightmare?! We left it for a damn reason!"
"Maybe we were wrong to."
Shamira signed shaking her head. Switching her language to German. "You made me promise on the boat here that no matter what happened. No matter the circumstances. No matter what thoughts, ideas, or opinions you may have. You…you made me promise that I would never even let you consider going back there. And I'm invoking that now. We were barely functional when we had a team and support. We just happened to get lucky more times than we didn't. But all it took was one incident. Going back there with nothing is suicidal."
Astrid knew that Shamira was right. They did leave for a damn good reason. She switched back to English. "Which is why it's important to send those who actually have support. We can't go back. But we can send them to finish the fight we started. And maybe someday…" We could go back. Astrid left unsaid. But Shamira understood the unsaid words.
"Even if we could. It won't be the same."
"Nothing ever is." She turned her attention back to Steve and kissed his hand. "If we're going to get you to past the physical, we got to get you healthier." She turned to Bucky. "You train him to stay alive. The last thing I want is him returned to me in a pine box."
"Yes doc," Bucky replied. "Two weeks and I'll get him into shape."
"You better," Shamira added on. "Otherwise you'll have a very angry Astrid on your hands."
Steve looked at Shamira. "I know you don't think that I can do this."
Shamira let out a laugh. "It's not that. God knows you're gonna find some way to brute force yourself into the army. It's the fact that I don't want you to go over there." She gestured towards Bucky. "I don't want Bucky to go either." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Remembering all that they had seen. All that they had escaped from. "There are no words in any human language that can describe the horrors that you will see if you go. I only want to spare you from that." Shamira shrugged. "But I know where you're coming from. Astrid and I felt the same way once. In some ways still do." Astrid huffed. That was an understatement. "So if you want to fight I'm never going to approve of it. But I damn well am going to support you in doing it." Steve gave her a smile. All tension easing from his body.
"I guess I should get to work then," Steve stated kissing Astrid on her hand. "I'll see you later my partner."
"You better," Astrid replied. Watching Bucky and Steve leave. "Now what?"
"Now we have to figure out how to keep those two alive," Shamira sighed rubbing her forehead. "Why did they have to bomb Pearl Harbor?"
"Because our good luck could only last for so long."
Everything was chaos in the next few days. Particularly at the hospital as doctors figured out whether or not they were going to serve. Astrid snorted. One good thing that might come out of this is Astrid was probably going to get promoted. Seemed like everyone was ready to go throw their lives at the cause.
She was washing up after surgery next to one of the younger surgeons. An up and comer by the name of Dwight. He was a good surgeon. Had the potential to be great someday. If he managed to survive the Navy.
"Astrid," he stammered. He was always slightly nervous around her. "Can I ask you something?"
"Go ahead," she answered turning to face him. She had a habit of mentoring some of the younger surgeons. Though it also gave her a chance to figure out which ones belonged to her other profession. So far the only one she figured out was the chief of surgery.
"You know there is a war going on?"
Astrid snorted. "I hope that's not your question."
He blushed but shook it off. A determined look coming over his face. "No. There is a war going on. And a lot of men are going to lose their lives."
"And? That's kinda what happens during a war."
"Exactly and don't you want some companionship before all the men are shipped off?"
Astrid had no idea what he was going on about. "You do know I'm going steady right?"
"I don't see a ring on your finger. I'm willing to put one on." He stepped closer to Astrid but she stepped back. Eyes narrowed.
"Dwight you are a good man and a good doctor. Most girls would fall all over themselves to be with you. But I'm not one of them." She shook her head. "As I said I'm going steady with someone. For your sake, I'm going to pretend that this didn't happen. I suggest you do the same."
He wasn't the only one who had that crazy idea. She was propositioned by two other guys. It was a relief when she finally got home to find Shamira on the couch reading. Bucky sitting next to her. Steve looking immensely haggard sitting in the comfy chair. Drawing something as usual.
"You have no idea of the day I had," Astrid sighed going to the kitchen to boil water for tea. "I had three guys try to propose to me." That startled all of them. Especially Steve who looked at her eyes narrowed.
"Only three?" Shamira asked with a smile glancing at Steve. This might be a chance to rile him up and move him to actually do something. "I would expect more than that." Steve shot her a look. She was nowhere near Astrid's level but she had some tricks up her sleeve.
"You didn't say yes did you?" Steve asked. It was obvious he was tense.
"Of course not," Astrid replied. "They all know I'm going steady." The whistle of the kettle went off and Astrid poured the tea. "Still I'm half tempted to go out and buy a ring to get these boys off my back. Two of them didn't even believe me when they said I was going steady."
"What did they say when you told them?" Bucky questioned also looking at Steve.
"That any man worth anything would have proposed after the first date." Oh, that must hurt. She could see Steve flinch. "I told them otherwise."
Steve stood up and Shamira could tell that each movement was painful. But that didn't stop him from going up to Astrid and taking her hand. Shamira held her breath wondering if he was going to propose right then and there.
"You will wait for me right?" Steve asked his voice soft.
Astrid looked at him fondly. "I would wait for all of time for you. You are more than worth it." She kissed him deeply. Making that point know.
While those two were distracted with each other Shamira turned to Bucky. "Make him propose already," she told him. "Before Astrid is stuck in a hard place with a guy who won't take no for an answer."
"I've been trying," Bucky whispered. "But he's got some plan that he's not letting me in on. I'm just trying to keep him from getting killed so that they can get married."
Shamira sighed pinching the bridge of her nose. Steve was absolutely hopeless. If he was dating anyone other than Astrid the girl would have left him long ago. Instead, he was making out with Astrid in the kitchen. Breaking it off when he got too hot. Shamira noticed the frustration building in Astrid's body. But her infinite patience kept her waiting. Waiting for Steve to be ready. Shamira suspected that something else was going on but what she had no idea. Bucky didn't either. Steve always got super flustered whenever Bucky asked him.
"Get a room, Bucky teased. Astrid shot him a grateful look while Steve narrowed his eyes at him. There was definitely something going on with Steve. But that was a mystery than none of them were going to be able to solve without an interrogation.
Astrid squeezed his shoulder and Steve let out a hiss. She frowned and felt him up softly with her fingertips.
"You are really tense," she noted giving a glance at Bucky. "Come with me." Astrid took his hand and led him into her bedroom. Closing the door behind her.
"Take off your clothes," Astrid ordered taking out a few vials out of her mobile kit. Mixing two together and swirling around slightly. Steve stood there looking a bit like a baby bird. "I'm giving you a massage. Will help relax you. Make it easier for you to train. I want you to at least down to your underwear." That got Steve going though it seemed like he was having trouble getting his belt off. His hands trembling.
When Astrid finally turned around she let out a gasp. This was the first time she had seen Steve at this level of undressed. She couldn't help herself. Running her hands down his body. She swallowed the lump in her throat and got out her towel. Lying it on the bed and beckoning Steve to lie on it. Stomach down first.
Astrid wished she had thought of this a long time ago. Not only for Steve's sake but for her own. Though the little moans he was giving was driving her insane as she worked out the kinks in his back. Careful around his spine. His scoliosis had bent it into an S shape.
"You are magic," he mumbled as Astrid worked out the tension. Easing pressure points.
"Let's flip you over," she suggested. He did so easily. Completely blissed out. She worked top to bottom. Massaging all his pressure points. Letting her hands wander slightly. By the time she was done Steve was fast asleep. Astrid tucked him in and left the room slowly closing the door behind her.
"You've been pushing him pretty hard," Astrid stated once she got back to the living room.
"I have to if he wants to make the cut," Bucky replied.
"I know." She sat in the chair Steve was sitting in earlier. "It doesn't make it any easier." She hated seeing Steve hurting but it was a necessity. If he had any chance of being recruited. Astrid was half tempted to try and put in a good word for him but he had already asked her not to. He wanted to get there on his own merit. All she could do is wait. Helping him how she could until Christmas Eve when he went in for the physical. They would finally have their answer then.
