15: HOPE

XxX

"Bonnie, come in here quick" hollers doc Hudson as Judy collapses onto the bed. "I can only guess right now since I'm not a trained psychologist, but I'm sure that Judy is suffering from acute depression. We've got to do something to get her heartrate down and do it quickly …."

"I'll go get Nick, maybe he can help, cuddling with him seems to calm her."

"Do it and do it fast…"

When Bonnie returns a few minutes later with Nick in tow, everyone hears panic in doc's voice "We're losing her…"

As Judy seemingly wakes from a short nap, she looks around and recognizes her old room. However, as she scans the room she sees two small figures that appear to be sleeping at the foot of the bed. And instead of her mother, Nick and other familiar faces, she notices five figures that she somehow knows but is sure she had never met. She also notices that all of the mammals seem to be of mixed species, and all seem to have rabbit as well as fox features about them.

The longer she stares at the figures, especially the small ones that are sleeping, she gets the strangest feeling that even though she has never met any of them, she actually knows their names…

"Pardon me, but I get the strangest feeling that I know all of you, but I don't recall ever meeting any of you."

"Your really have no clue?" asks the tallest and seemingly oldest of the figures, a handsome male who is decidedly foxlike, but has short grey fur similar to her own but with streaks of auburn, he also has a shorter than average snout and longer ears than a normal fox. And the smirk on his muzzle is even more familiar.

Without really thinking about it Judy asks "Your name is Johnathan, isn't it?"

The sly smirk was his only reply.

"And the bunny beside you is named Bonnie."

"And you two" looking at another bunny/fox pair "are Stuart and Nicholle."

"And you" addressing the remaining mammal "are Laverne. How is it I that I seem know all of you but …."

"Aren't you forgetting someone?" asks Johnathan softly, nodding towards the small kits seemly sleeping at the foot of the bed.

Tearing up Judy whispers "Rose and Aaron. A-am I dead?" asks Judy.

"No, not yet, but you are giving it your best shot" answers Johnathan.

"But … I still can't figure out for the life of me (rolling her eyes at the unintended pun), how I could possibly know you all. Rose and Aaron, maybe yes, because I just lost them, but the rest of you…"

"We're the reason you have to go back. You're not supposed to be here, not yet."

"B-but … I don't understand, where is here."

"Right now, your kind of in between life and death. In the other world, you're actually seconds away from dying."

Pausing a short bit for a totally shocked Judy to absorb what he's saying, Johnathan continues "We" gesturing to himself and the others "are your unborn children, those you have yet to conceive. We will never be if you die, and if you die he" motioning to a shadowy figure that is mostly transparent squatting in the corner "will follow you shortly."

"… Nick …" says Judy softly.

"Yes" answers Laverne "that's our father to be, but only if YOU live. Mom, when you researched the 'life mate' thing you missed one crucial fact. If a fox's life mate dies, their partner will usually die shortly thereafter. Grief and loneliness will cause dad to die shortly, probably less than a week, after you do.'
'That's why you have to go back. There's always hope. But you already know that, you've just forgotten it in the sorrow from the loss of Rose and Aaron."

"Doctor Cotton … that's right, I'd forgotten about her. You're so much like your father, thank you for saving me."

Still wearing one of Nick's patented smirks, Johnathan replies "Self-preservation mom, saving you saves us, all of us, dad included. But, you're welcome. And to answer your unasked question, yea, you can tell dad about all of this. He'll probably find it a bit farfetched at first, but he'll believe you in the long run I promise. Telling anyone else … is up to you."

"Mom" interrupted Bonnie "you have to go back now before it's too late, please."

"This isn't goodbye mom" pipes up Patricia "It's only so long. And remember, we'll be along when the time is right, so never quit trying, and never give up hope."

"We love you mom" adds Stuart.

When Judy's heartbeats quickly recede to a more normal pace, everyone in the room simply stares at her as she rests quietly in Nicks arms.

"This is nothing short of a miracle" remarks doc Hudson. "I've never seen this fast of a recovery in my life, and that's saying something. If you can bottle and sell whatever you've got there young mammal, I'll take a couple of cases of it."

"Sorry to disappoint doc, but I've got a feeling it'll only work on this particular bunny" replies Nick,

"Be that as it may, good work. I'll be back in a couple of hours to check on Judy again. Just keep her quiet and warm, give her plenty of fluids. Oh, and try to get her to eat something, even a little bit will do for now and she should be fine. Ok everyone, give Nick and Judy some space, I'm sure she'll be fine as long as Nick is here with her. I'll check back in a bit just to be sure she's out of the woods so to speak."

After everyone else leaves the room and Nick and Judy are alone "Nick…"

"Hmmm?"

"I-I'm sorry."

"We've already made it plain that losing the kits wasn…"

"No Nick, not about that … well maybe a little bit. What I'm actually apologizing for is … I actually wanted to die."

Stunned by Judy's admission, Nick was speechless.

"… But …"

"Let me finish, please. The fact that I lost the kits had something to do with it, but not all. I felt that if I couldn't give you kits of your own, I felt that I was less of a wife than you or anyone else deserved. I know now that that was foolish, but at the time … it actually made sense to me.'
'I know this isn't going to make any sense to you, but for a short time, I was in a sort of an in-between world. In between life and death if you will, and I met our future kits."

Noting his skeptical look, she continued "Our eldest son explained it all to me and told me you'd find it difficult to believe but would eventually so to not worry."

"Care to share a bit more, or is it some sort of super-secret bunny thing?"

"No ya big goof, of course I can share. Johnathan said it was ok to share with you…"

"Johnathan …." Repeated Nick softly.

"Yes, our first-born son will be named after your dad, and our daughter in the same litter will be named Bonnie, after mom. I'm going to warn you ahead of time, if you ever call him Johnny, I'll shave your tail and paint you pink…"

Stunned, Nick could only gape at Judy's revelation.

"We'll have 5 kits in all" she continued with "Johnathan and Bonnie in the first litter, Stuart and Nicholle in the second and Laverne being a lone kit in the last. And Nick, they're absolutely beautiful. At least the girls are, the boys are as handsome as you, well almost anyway" she added giggling softly.

"That's beyond great, it's marvelous … but how are we supposed to come by these wonderful kits without a repeat of what we've just gone through?" Nick asked nervously.

"Well, Laverne, our daughter to be Laverne, not your mother, reminded me of something that doctor Clawson told us in the hospital, about someone she knew that could help us. A doctor Cotton I believe."

"Yea, I remember now, Clawson told us to wait for a call from her so we could talk to this doctor Cotton."

"If we don't hear from Clawson by the end of the week, would you mind terribly if we called her instead? I have no idea what would be involved but whatever it is, I think we should at least try it."

"Works for me Fluff. Now, if you think you're up to it, how about we get you something to eat, ya need it ya know."

"Yes dad … damn, that sounds kinda nice, don't ya think?"

"Sounds great to me, maybe we can get started on that … soon?" Nick said, bouncing his eyebrows.

Only blushing slightly, Judy answered "Not for at least a week or so yet. But yea, I don't see why not, especially now that I've got the correct meds so we don't have a repeat … of … of … this..." she added softly.

Hearing a soft knock at the door "Come in" says Judy startled slightly by the sound.

"Hey Jude, feelin' better?" inquired Bonnie hopefully, with Stu, Laverne, Shirley and Skye close behind.

"Yea, much better thanks. I'm sorry to be such a bother to you guys."

"Oh posh, the important thing is that you're better."

"Here's some of Nick's carrot soup" began Laverne "it's probably not as good as he makes it, but I think you'll like it."

"I'm sure I will, I'm starving, thanks again."

"Judy" begins Bonnie "I can't help but ask, do you have any idea how you were able to recover so quickly and come away from death's door?"

Looking at Nick she thought for a few seconds about their previous conversation and decided to keep her experience between just Nick and herself "Not for sure, no I don't. But I think it has to do with hope. And Love. You need both to survive. And with all of you, especially Nick, I know I have both."

Several hours later:

"Well" began doc Hudson "I haven't the foggiest how you did it young mammal" addressing Nick "But Judy's heartrate and blood pressure are both back to a normal range and holding steady in just a matter of a few hours."

Looking at Judy with a small smirk on his face that only Judy and Laverne caught Nick commented "All I can figure is that she had more of a will to live than to die. We may never know for sure what happened, but I for one am satisfied with the outcome and I'm willing to leave well enough alone."

"I guess you're right there. I'll be leaving now, I don't see any reason to come back and check Judy again, she seems perfectly healthy and happier than I've personally seen her in years. Everyone take care, this is one that'll be hard to explain in my journal."

After everyone left Nick and Judy to rest, Laverne hung back for a quick word with them "I don't know what's going on with you two, but I'm sure you'll let me know at some point in time … right?"

"Mom" began Nick, I have no idea what you mi …"

"Cut the bullshit Nick, I can smell a hustle a mile away and you know it. Just be honest enough to tell me that when the time is right, you'll come clean. OK?"

"Laverne …" began Judy

"Mom if you don't mind dearie, it's just too weird having my new daughter calling me by my given name."

"Ok … MOM … if you insist, I promise that at some point in time we'll make everything clear. Whether or not you choose to believe it is up to you, ok?"

"Ok, as long as you promise Judy" looking sternly at Nick "I'll accept that … for now."

"I think that we'll probably head back to Zootopia tomorrow after lunch. That'll give us all enough time to get rested up and get enough food into Judy so she'll be able to function."

Looking at his mother "Mom, I think we'll pass on the house swap thing for now at least. I'm not saying we might not be swapping in the future, but at least for now I don't think it would be appropriate. Especially being so close to having lost the kits. I know you understand…"

"Of course I do. The invitation will be there for whenever circumstances might change. I'll leave you two alone for now. It's getting late so get some rest, I'll see you two in the morning at breakfast."

"G'nite mom" comes from both Nick and Judy, who look at each other and smile.

After Laverne leaves the room, "Nick … I want to go back to work at the shop."

Staring at Judy for a few long seconds Nick relents "Ok, if you really want to, I'm fine with it. But not until Monday at the earliest. If you're dead set on going back to work, I want you to be in top shape, healthy enough physically and mentally to do what needs to be done. Deal?"

"Deal."

"Fluff, are you gonna be ok until morning or do you want me to go get you some more to eat …?"

"I'm good Nick. I know I haven't eaten a lot in the last few days because of losing the kits, but I think I'm gonna be ok. I've got too much to live for now. I never told you before, but there was another revelation when I was between worlds."

"Really? What would that be?"

"Let me ask you something first … what would happen to you if I had died?"

" …."

"You really don't have to answer, I already know. Laverne, our future kit Laverne not your mom, told me. You'd die wouldn't you? Tell me the truth Nick, please."

" …. Yes, I would. It's all part of the 'life mate' thing yea, but that notwithstanding, there's literally no way I could ever go on without you. You are my life Judy."

"My gods Nick, I actually had no idea. What have I don …"

"Judy listen to me …. whoever my life mate would be, you, a vixen, a wolf whoever. If she dies, I would follow, that's just a fact, it's in our biology. There's absolutely no one, and I mean no one, that I would rather have in my life than you. Even if we end up having to adopt kits, I want to spend my life with you and only you. It doesn't matter if we die tomorrow or 50 years from now."

"Nick …"

"I know, but let's get some sleep, we can work everything else out tomorrow. OK?"

Breathing a heavy sigh Judy gives up "Ok, g'nite. I love you Nick, more than you'll ever know."

"'Nite Fluff" as he kisses lightly between the ears "I love you too…"

And as sleep finds them both, a full moon promising a brighter future, shines down on them….

At around eight in the morning, there's a light tap on the door "Yes?" answers Judy.

"Are you two ok?" asks Bonnie.

"Mom you know we are, you've been all checking up on us all night long…"

"…we were just concerned for you hon, no one meant to pry."

"I know, but maybe you forgot, I'm still a bunny and my hearing's still as good as ever."

"Anyway, breakfast is ready if you want some. Most of us have already eaten, but we kept the kitchen open so you could sleep in for a bit and still get something fresh to eat."

"Give us about a half hour or so and we'll be along Bonnie" says Nick.

"Alright then, we'll see you two in a bit."

"You ready for a quick shower then some breakfast Fluff?"

"Absolutely, and NO funny business…"

"I thought we already agreed last night that nothing would go on for a bit!"

"Yea, but I just want to be sure you remembered you horny old fox…"

"Me? I was worried that you and your bunny hormones would take advantage of me in the shower and…"

"Har, har. That'll happen, but not now and not here. After we get home and I have more of a chance to heal, we'll see what happens. Besides, there are a lot of places left in the house we haven't broken in yet and…"

"….. ok, ok, TMI for right now if you want to NOT get attacked in the shower. Let's get moving, I smell blueberry pancakes and turkey sausage cooking."

After they had a leisurely breakfast of blueberry pancakes, turkey sausage, which mildly horrified Judy's parents (I guess they forgot she had acquired a taste for meat after the Icehouse incident) and carrot juice, Nick and Judy bade her parents goodbye and headed back to Zootopia along with Laverne and Shirley.

"You're going to be ok, aren't you" Bonnie asked.

"Yea mom, I am. I may not be back to my old self yet, but I am better, thanks to you all."

"Well, I don't know how much credit the rest of us can take, Nick did the hard work, bringing you back almost from the brink of death and all."

"No mom, it was all of you. The love was there, I felt it. That's what brought me back. I'll call when we get back. Love you guys, see you all soon."

The nearly four-hour trip was quiet for the most part with Judy napping off and on. Finally waking fully as Nick entered the city limits "Hey Slick, home already?"

Fearing a replay of the first trip Nick answered cautiously "Yea, sorry I didn't wake you, You ok?"

"Yea, I'm fine this time. I know that I really needed the rest and we're together so don't worry, there's no panic attack on the horizon."

"Great … You hungry? It's been a while since breakfast."

"Yea, I guess I could use a quick bite."

"… How about stopping at Mel's for a bite of lunch before we head home then?"

"Isn't that where we went after we first met?"

"For breakfast, yea."

"I'm sorry for causing all of you guys to worry so much lately …"

"Listen, you've got to start getting over this. You've already admitted that you realize that there was nothing you could've done to prevent what happened. So, let's just keep on moving ahead. I know we can't just act like nothing happened 'cause we both know that'd never work. We'll mark it up as a life changing experience and look forward to meeting this doctor Cotton and see how things work out … ok?"

With Judy still looking a bit dejected, staring at the floor of the truck Nick says softly "Hey…"

Just as Judy looked up, she received a quick kiss in the end of her nose "Hey!"

"Yes?"

"Umm … thanks… for … everything Nick."

"For you, anything, my lovely bunny."

As Nick and Judy enter the cafe, Alice and Mel are a bit unsure how to greet the couple. Being pretty much lifelong friends with Laverne and Shirley, they know of the couple's loss of their kits. The unease is dispelled a bit with Nick's casual greeting.

"Hey guys, how's things?" begins Nick casually.

"Been ok, ain't seen you two in a while. Looks like the bunny ain't been too hard on ya" greets Alice. "What'll y'all have?"

With a small grin Judy orders first "I'll have some of that wonderful casserole that I had the first time, with some toast and carrot juice please."

"Make that two, but coffee for me please" adds Nick.

"Commin' right up" says Mel as he begins on their order.

Seeing a bit indecision still on their faces, Judy decides to broach the subject that is very evidently on their minds.

"It's ok guys, I know it's difficult for you because you know it's uncomfortable for me … for us. We'll be fine sooner or later, it's just part of life. Not talking about it just makes it more difficult to deal with later…"

In between bites, Nick and Judy narrate the tragic happening of the past week. While all shed tears (including Mel) the mood was considerably lighter than earlier.

As Nick and Judy get up to pay, Mel confronts Nick "If you try to pay me I'll just throw yer ass out, you know that, right? And no, this ain't no pity party, it's just one friend helping another in a time of need".
Softening his voice and demeanor Mel adds "Now, get going … and don't be such strangers…"

"So now what?" Judy asks as they make their way home.

"Well, we've got a few days until we head back to the shop, how about if we swing by Clawson's and see if she's been in contact with this doctor … Cotton I believe, and see if she's heard anything."

"… Can't hurt. I know she was supposed to contact us when she heard something but as long as we're out and about, why not?"

Entering the doctor's office, the receptionist greeted them "Mr. and Mrs. Wilde, I was just about to call you. Doctor said that she's in contact with her specialist friend as we speak. Hold on a sec and I'll let her know you're here."

"Thanks Adella" responds Judy "I know it's late in the day but…"

"No, it's ok, I'm sure she would want to have you here while she's talking to her specialist friend. Follow me please."

Leading the couple to the doctor's private office, Adella tapped on the door and announced that Nick and Judy were in the hallway.

"Please come in, you're just the mammals that need to be in on this call with me.'
'Doctor Cotton, I have Nick and Judy Wilde with me, they just now came into my office. Do you mind if I put the phone on speaker?"

"No, by all means please do" replied Dr. Cotton.

"All right then, introductions. Nick and Judy Wilde please say hello to Doctor Robin Cotton. Doctor Cotton, Nick and Judy Wilde."

"Hello" was said by all three at the same time, eliciting a giggle from all four in on the conversation.

"OK, down to business" began doctor Clawson. I believe we all know why we're gathered here. Doctor Cotton, would you give Nick and Judy a bit of background so everyone is on the same page?"

"Certainly. My name, as you probably guessed, is Doctor Robin Cotton. I currently head the genetic research program here at Zootopia Medical College. I specialize in DNA manipulation and gene splicing."

"Doctor Cotton, forgive me for interrupting, but can you tell us quickly why you're interested in helping us with our particular … problem?" asked Nick.

"NICK" admonished Judy.

"No, that's quite all right" answered doctor Cotton. "That question would have come up before long, so now is as good a time to give you a valid explanation as any.'
'My husband and I have been trying unsuccessfully for many years to have kits of our own naturally. I've lost more kits than I care to mention through miscarriage, that's exactly why I'm in my current field of endeavor'
'However, before I tell you any more about my history, I would like to meet with you both personally. I believe it would lend more credence to why I want to help you. If you're free on Saturday, say around noon, we could meet face to face and discuss the particulars of what will be involved if you choose to work with me on my project."

Looking at each other and each nodding, Judy spoke up "I believe that we're free then, where would you like to meet, at the University?"

"No, actually I was thinking more along the lines of the coffee shop at the Palms Hotel, on Sahara Central Avenue."

Momentarily in shock at the suggestion but noticing a slight grin on doctor Clawson's muzzle, Nick finally spoke after noticing Judy's slight affirmative nod "I … believe we can agree to that. We'll see you around noon on Saturday then.'
'We'll be saying goodbye to you both for now, we can see our way out. Many thanks to you doctor Cotton and especially to you doctor Clawson … for everything."

"I believe you'll both be pleasantly surprised when you meet with doctor Cotton" adds doctor Clawson as Nick and Judy exit her office.

"What do you suppose that was about?" asks Nick as he opens the door to the truck for Judy.

"I'm sure we'll find out Saturday" responded Judy.

As Saturday morning rolls around, Nick and Judy grow more pensive.

"What reason could she have to meet us at the Palms rather than the University?" wondered Judy aloud.

"I have NO idea" replied Nick "it does seem odd since she evidently does all of her work there."

"May I help you?" inquired the Maître d', a tall male gazelle as they enter the restaurant.

"Yes" replied Nick, we're here to meet with a doctor Cotton."

"Ah yes, please follow me."

Having no idea what this doctor Cotton looks like, Nick and Judy follow the Maître d' to a table occupied by a female hare and a slightly undersized male grey wolf.

"D-doctor Cotton?" inquired a very surprised Nick and Judy at the same time.

Laughing and wearing a very large grin doctor Cotton proceeded with introductions. "Guilty as charged. Nick and Judy Wilde, please allow me to introduce my husband of nine years Michael Sees Far.'
'Michael, Nick and Judy Wilde."

"So, THIS is why you and doctor Clawson were so mysterious about your identity." commented Judy.

"Yes, I knew that meeting like this would lend more credence to the reason I want so desperately to work with you. I see you're a bit confused about my last name. I retained my maiden name when I got married because, well who would take a rabbit seriously with the last name of Sees Far?'
'We met and married when I was in the Midwest seeking natural cures for common ailments. Michael's father is a well-respected Lakota medicine mammal in his tribe and very accomplished healer. After I actually conceived the first time and then miscarried, I knew that I had to find something to help have kits. So, I changed my primary research field from herbology to DNA research and gene manipulation, hoping to find a way to be able to find a way for me, for us to have kits. I'll admit, I was rather selfish to begin with, but when I heard that you had successful conceived I had hopes that … perhaps … you'd be willing to help me with my research."

"How in the world would we be able to help you? Neither of us know anything about DNA stuff or genes or anything…" asked Judy.

"Well, at the present time, I'm using different compounds of natural plant protein strands to enhance the natural reproductive ability of different mammal species … particularly pred and prey combinations such as the four of us."

"And this would involve us how … exactly?" asks Nick.

"I would like to have you try the same compounds that I've already used on Michael and myself to observe their effectiveness on your bodies. I can assure you that they're relatively safe and …"

"Define relatively" interrupted Nick rather forcefully "We are NOT going to be taking anything that might endanger us since we're involved in a 'life mate' bond, which means that one dying would mean death for the other ..."

"I'm well aware of your life mate situation, and I would never give you a compound that and Michael and I haven't already taken ourselves. I'll need to tweak the formulas a bit to take into account the differences in our individual species, you know rabbits and hares are similar but different. The same applies to the differences between Michael and yourself Nick. While you're both considered canines, the genus is entirely different.'
'Since there are different formulas for we females and for you males there'll be combinations and different strengths of each that I'll need to work on, if you actually consent to the experimentation that is."

Although Nick looked less than thrilled, Judy quickly agreed "We'll be happy to join in on the project" she said quickly, shooting Nick a reassuring smile. "Remember our little talk back at the burrow?" she asked. "Everything will be fine, trust me, we can do this … together."

"So" began Nick "I take it that all of this will be taken orally?"

"Yes, that's the plan. In fact, I'm sure Judy is familiar with several of the plants that we'll be using, having grown up on a farm and all. One is actually a plant that under normal circumstances is considered toxic."

"Really, and which plant in particular would that be?" questioned Judy.

"Midnicampum Holicithias, more commonly known as …"

"Nighthowlers" finished a horrified Judy.

"Wait, wait, wait" began an incredulous Nick "you want to give us stuff made from a toxic plant?"

"Only the raw enzymes are toxic, while I use the basic protein strands. There is nothing toxic in any of my ingredients. As I stated before, Michael and I have already taken all of the compounds that I would be giving you both with no ill effects. The only difference would be a slight adjustment in the amount of each ingredient to adjust for the difference in body mass and species."

"So, why would we take the same … umm stuff you've taken and come out with different results?" asks Nick.

"And" adds Judy forcefully "there's no way I'm going to risk going through another meltdown like I just had by getting pregnant again and losing more kits, that's just out."

"Well actually, to begin with, what I was initially considering was some … umm … biological contributions from each of you to start with, to use as a baseline. Then I'd give you each the same compounds that Michael and I have been taking for a while before I actually begin testing the results. I'll be using an in vitro method to avoid the risk of the same devastation you encountered the first time you were pregnant."

Looking at each other, Nick and Judy were totally unsure what Dr. Cotton was talking about until … "Wait" started an incredulous Judy "you mean to tell us you want…" and she notices a small affirmative nod from doctor Cotton.

"What?" asks a still clueless Nick.

Rolling her eyes, Judy leans over and quickly whispers in Nick's ear.

"WHAT? Oh, hell no!"

"Nick!"

"What?"

"Nick, we're going to do this."

"But … "

"No Nick … We're. Going To. Do. This."

"But she want's …"

"I know what she wants, I just told you remember?"

"But …"

"NICK, SHUT IT!"

"… Fine".

"Look, if you'll agree to this I'll …" and Judy whispers in Nicks ear again, low enough so only he can hear.

"You'd do that … for me?"

"No Nick, for us and the kits, remember?"

"For the kits" says Nick softly, remembering their conversation at the burrow only a few days ago.

"That's my good fox."

Addressing doctor Cotton "We'll keep in touch. I'll let you know when I'm ready to start my next heat cycle. Would you rather we contact you and come to the University for our … contributions?"

Suppressing a small giggle doctor Cotton answers "Yes I think that would be for the best.'
'I'm going to start putting together a set of compounds for each of you to begin taking as soon as possible. I'll explain exactly what will be taking place at that time.'
'Then I'll be sure to set aside a place for each of you so you'll be less … uncomfortable when the time comes for your 'contributions'."

XxX

FUN FACT: The plant that is described in Zootopia (and this story) with the scientific name "Midnicampum Holicithias" also called Nighthowlers which belongs to the Crocus variety, does exist in real life. And yes, I'm being a bit liberal with all the science involved here since I don't think any of it actually exists yet. It's called artistic license.