Warning: Uuuuh, sad.
It all happened so fast.
Rachel Black, Jake's older sister, had laughed as Grace had launched her body full force into hers. The two tumbled to the beach in a heap as the pack and their partners made their way over to them.
"Gracie!" Rachel giggled hugging her back just as tightly, "Oh it feels like home seeing you." She said.
Grace had helped her up to get a good look at her. Rachel was a little taller than Grace but had the same beautiful angled face as Jacob. Except where his hard edges protruded, hers softened. She had chopped her black hair into a short bob just above her shoulders but her cheeks were just as pink and pronounced as ever. Her amber brown eyes sparkled in the sea light.
"It's so good to see you," Grace said breathless. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm back home from college, just for the summer before I start my thesis this fall. Biodynamic Farming in Indigenous Communities. So I guess you could say i'm here for research?"
"That's great! Wow!"
"Hey!" Rachel called over her shoulder as the others moved toward them. They all were suddenly crowded around them. Rachel was always a calming presence for Grace. All through her childhood, she was there in her memories. She was the thread that tied her, Jake, and Grace together. And now she was here, same bubbly beautiful Rachel.
Everything suddenly started to move in slow motion. Rachel still had her arm wrapped around Grace's shoulder, refusing to let her go just yet as she pulled Quil into a one arm hug, and then Embry.
And then.
Paul. Her Paul.
Rachel and Paul took one look at each other and the world shifted violently under Grace's feet.
"Paul Lahote, right?" Rachel had said, some coloring of recognition moving across her face. She had to have felt it. How could she not have? The feeling was palpable between them. The air electrified at this emergent shift in destiny.
Paul didn't move, his eyes darting from Grace to Rachel quickly. He was tethered. Rachel let go of Grace and stepped toward him, magnetized almost. The rest of the pack looked around at each other, uncomfortable and waves started to echo and crash in Grace's head like someone turned up the volume too loud.
Leah was next to Grace in an instant. She threaded her fingers into hers and leaned in close to Grace's ear.
"Time to go." She whispered. It wasn't an ask, but it was urgent, begging almost. At least Grace couldn't remember if she had asked or not.
But either way, in the next second, Grace was gone.
Grace looped an arm around her midsection and sank to the bottom of the shower letting the hot water move over her back. The scene wouldn't stop replaying in her head. Like a broken record for the past five days between being awake or asleep, the scene replayed in her head. She had to hold herself together now to get through the pain of that moment. Again and again it screamed through her brain.
Paul Lahote, right?
Grace gripped the side of the tub as she felt herself breaking apart again. Steam choking the air around her. She tried her best to stay whole and to stay here. In the past few days, Grace had been having trouble controlling her recasting. Bella thought it must be a side effect of her emotions pushing and pulling her around.
Sometimes, Grace would wake up in the middle of the night, shaken from a nightmare and find herself somewhere in the forest. Groggily, she'd stand and look around her before recasting home. She never tried to figure out where she was, but she got the feeling that she was going to the same place every time.
Now, in the heat of the bathroom, the water leaving red welts on her skin, she held on tight trying to keep herself in place. She didn't know how long she was there for, but she heard the door creak open and a voice call out to her. Everything stayed blurry for awhile. The water was suddenly off and Grace instantly felt cold.
A towel was placed around her shoulders and suddenly Bella's face came into view.
"Hey, come on. Let's get you to bed." Bella had seen this look before on her own face and knew that Grace had done the same for her. She gently pulled Grace to her feet and steered her toward the bedroom, tightening the towel around her. Grace sat on the edge of her bed as Bella rummaged through her drawers and pulled out some sweats, socks and an old band t-shirt. She dressed the catatonic Grace carefully and gently combed her hair, threading it into a loose french braid down her back.
"Come on," she said as she pulled her back on the bed with her and threw the covers over both of them.
"Where's Edward?" Grace asked barely above a whisper as Bella wrapped her pale arms around her.
"Hunting. They're prepping for the fight." Bella said non-descriptively. Bella didn't need to ask what had happened that day.
The day after Grace had come home from the beach and gone straight to bed and laid there for over 20 hours, was the first time Paul had shown up. His eyes were hard but pleading when Bella answered the door.
"Is she here?" He said, a rasp to his voice as if he had been yelling.
"Now's not a good time, Paul." Bella said, crossing her arms. "She won't speak. So since you're here, why don't you tell me what happened."
Paul looked down at the ground and shook his head.
"Please. I just need to see her," he had pleaded. When he looked back up at Bella, she saw intense pain in his eyes. "I didn't mean for this to happen. I just-"
"What happened?!" Bella pushed.
"I….I imprinted. On Rachel Black….at the beach," Paul said the words like he had said them a million times.
"What…" Bella knew what it meant to imprint. Jake had told her what it meant and she had hesitated to ask him if he had imprinted on anyone considering the intensity of their relationship. But he had given her a confusing answer and brushed it off.
"I didn't mean for this to happen, Bella. Please. Just...if I could just see her," Paul stammered, his body trembling.
Charlie was behind Bella now in the doorway.
"Paul."
"Chief Swan." He replied trying to regain some composure.
"Grace isn't feeling too hot right now and isn't allowed guests. She'll call you when she's ready." Charlie nodded. "I suggest you head home."
"Thanks dad," Bella muttered as Charlie retreated back into the house. Paul stood there, limp.
"Just...tell her I stopped by." Paul said, taking a step back down the stairs. Bella just nodded and shut the door.
And again today. As Bella hopped down from the truck and pulled her hood up against the rain, she glanced down at her phone to see if Jake had texted her back. Her last text message was sent the day before as her worry for Grace grew:
SMS Text—7:47 p.m.: Bella
Please call me, Jake.
Please.
She hadn't gone into details about Grace, but she knew that Jake should be here. Grace was having nightmares, much like the ones Bella used to have when Edward was gone last year. She was woken up on more than one night this week to cries of pain. But each time she jumped across her bed to get to Grace, she was gone. On one night, she even called out for Jake.
When she closed her phone and looked up, Paul was there again. Bella shoved her hands in her pocket and walked around the truck making her way toward the house.
"No, Paul." Bella said, much less sympathy now.
"I just want to talk to her." Paul said. He seemed less beat up today than he had on the first time he'd known up. Bella had raised an eyebrow at him, skeptical.
"Absolutely not. You broke her fucking heart," Bella said, surprised at her own anger. Paul tensed at this.
"I know. I just need to see her."
"No, not today." Bella said, swerving around him to get into the house.
"Before the fight then," Paul bargained.
"No. When she's ready, not when it's convenient for you," Bella said, not bothering to turn around. She slammed the door behind her before hearing an explosion and tearing out on the front lawn that could only mean one thing.
Now, as Bella listened to Grace's rhythmic breathing as the light faded away outside, she worried about what happened next. If Grace tried to join the fight like this, she worried she'd get hurt. She reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone again.
Still nothing. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
SMS Text—8:32 p.m.: Bella
Jake, you need to come home now.
It's Grace. She's in pretty rough shape.
Bella clipped her phone shut and wrapped her arms around Grace who had fallen asleep on her shoulder. She sighed and closed her eyes, willing sleep.
When she woke up the next morning, the space where Grace had been sleeping was empty.
Grace had been walking and walking since before dawn. Making her way to the reservation. Her body felt weak despite all of the sleep, but she held new resolve. She couldn't sit in this pain anymore and just let it be hers.
She was going to confront Paul. Instead of recasting to the rez, she took the time to walk through the forest. She made her way easily in the dark, not needing to see to know where she was going. When she finally reached his door some of her resolve started to crumble.
What if Rachel was in there? What if she saw something she didn't want to see? He wouldn't have moved on so quickly would he? But she knew imprinting worked different. She took a step back and then felt the pain crash around her again. She would not be alone in this.
Quickly she stepped forward and rapped on the door, nearly banging on it. It only took a couple of seconds for Paul to reach the door and yank it open. His face was full of annoyance that subsided to shock that melted into desperation.
"Grace," he choked out. Grace kept her hands at her side, eyes rimmed red and hands clenched into fists.
"Can I come in?" her voice shook more than she wanted it to.
"Yeah, yeah," he stepped back so she could come in. She moved past him doing her best not to let any part of her touch him. The minute she got inside, her eyes automatically lingered down the hallway to the cracked bedroom door. She swallowed hard and turned to face him. Maybe this was a bad idea after all.
"Grace, I've wanted to talk to you for a week." Paul said keeping his distance more for Grace's sake than his. "I've stopped by. Did Bella tell you?"
Grace nodded her head. She suddenly felt like a caged animal. What about this was supposed to make her feel better again? She couldn't even look at him for too long or she'd feel her stomach turn.
"Grace I'm so-"
"Don't say you're sorry," Grace said, her eyes hard now. "Don't."
"Okay," he watched her carefully. She felt frantic, uneasy, where this place was once going to be her home she now felt like an unwanted guest. She kept checking over her shoulder, waiting for someone to stumble out of the bedroom. A room that Paul had filled with light for her. And now, she'd never see it again. She wanted to walk the short steps to it and push open the door to mourn her loss in peace. But she was too afraid about who was behind the door.
"Is she here?" Grace said suddenly.
"What?" Paul said confused for a second, and then realization dawned on him, "No, Grace of course not, no." He almost looked offended.
Grace looked at the floor embarrassed now. Paul took two steps toward her and she stumbled back.
"No." she said, tears coming immediately. "Please...don't. It's too much." Paul crumbled now. She'd never seen him cry, but something in him broke in this moment.
"Grace. Please, let me explain," he said. Grace dug her fingernails into her palms and nodded.
"Okay. Explain." She could take it. She could do this.
"I didn't mean for this to happen, you have to know that. When Rachel showed up, I was just as panicked as you. I've barely talked to her since. I just needed to figure this out and I couldn't….I didn't want to let you go," he shuddered, as tears glistened and fell from his eyes. Grace nodded to have him keep going. "I couldn't eat or sleep. I had to see you and Bella wouldn't let me see you. I felt so...lost without you Grace."
Grace was shaking now, trying to keep herself in place. Not now, not yet. She had to hear it.
"I went to see Ti'Hal. I couldn't take the pain...the weight of this. She said imprinting wasn't a choice but that I still had one. I could still choose you." Grace let a whimper escape and shut her eyes tight for a minute before opening them to look at Paul. "But….but she said that even if I chose you, Grace, you would never be as happy with me as we were before. And I wouldn't expect you to be because I'd always be looking after Rachel. It would eventually destroy us."
Grace held herself in place even though she felt it starting.
"Ti'Hal said it would be better if I-," he choked, burying his face in his hands and letting out muffled sobs. Grace was shaking so hard she wondered if he could hear her teeth chatter. "She said, I should…." he stopped and stuttered again trying to look at her.
"She told you to let me go," Grace said, her voice warbling and her knees shaking. Paul looked at her sucking in a deep breath and wiping at his face. He nodded.
"Yes." Was all he could manage as he looked at her. She wasn't sure why but something in her accepted this even though her heart was fighting like hell against it. She strode over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her face in his shoulder. He immediately grabbed her and held her to him tightly.
She let her body collapse onto him. She tried to let her pain go but instead it swelled up inside her as she held tight to him. The pain crescendoed and she pulled back cupping his face in her hands. Paul was breathing heavy trying to bring himself under control. His eyes searched hers, hoping for her to say anything that might allow him to move forward, pretend like nothing happened, and carry her back to the bedroom like they had done last week.
"Let me go." she whispered painfully. He squeezed her sides and looked down then quickly back up at her face. She planted one more soft kiss on his lips that he desperately tried to deepen, but she was gone in a flicker.
She recast on the edge of the forest and trudged the short way up the familiar hill to the cliff's edge. The day around her was shaping up to be beautiful, the last solid day of sun they'd have for awhile. Grace stood on the edge of the cliff, the pain swirling up in her and tearing its way out of her throat. She let out a guttural, primal, painful scream that shook her whole body and got carried away by the wind and then fell to her knees in heaving sobs.
