A bit of context before you read: Hachiman is an unreliable narrator. He will lie, leave things out, and confuse you by mentioning things you don't know about. Things will be revealed in time. If you're confused, read on.

Note: this fic's creation was inspired by LOOP, written by Cheekygaya. Check it out - it is an awesome fic.


Hikigaya Hachiman Has Experienced…

"I have superpowers."

It probably sounds like some line you'd hear in one of those really generic Western tv shows.

You know, the ones about highschool kids, romance drama, and weirdly stereotypical bullies?

The thing is, though…I've always had them. But mine isn't really a special one. Or a good one. Or one worth mentioning at all, I think.

I can feel other people's emotions.

Not like, 'reading the room' or looking at the obvious expressions on people's faces.

Not even the people reading I eventually picked up as a part of my 108 skills (even if I'm pained to admit it…!)

I mean it in the literal sense of being able to sense other's emotions, through physical sensation.

I know, right? What a huge let down. It's not something cool like flying, super speed or shooting lasers from my eyes. I can't even shoot out a Rasengan or a Spirit Bomb.

Still, it should have some benefit, right? Like, helping me make friends, or do crazy good negotiations…but, that wasn't what happened at all.

In fact, it just made my life worse, if that was even possible for someone like me.

I was never liked in the first place - all the ability did was make me even more aware of that.

It was one thing to always see the disgust on people's faces, but as I became able to physically feel how revolting they found me?

That's when I realized that, ultimately, this "superpower" was just another form of punishment for me.

Still, there was a time where I tried to ignore it, for the sake of my own development.

Ahh…I still remember the times when I forced myself to push through confessions, even though I could feel the girl's anxiety, fear, disgust, and annoyance towards me swirling around all at once.

Fun times(not.)

Going outside was a pain. Staying inside was a pain. So I receded away from people completely. I receded away from everything.

Why interact with others who you can tell feel no genuine interest in you?

Why bother with even attempting to interact with someone, when you can already tangibly feel their scorn and discomfort rising?

Still, it would've been fine if that was where it ended. It wasn't like I was going to miss much from losing the alternative, anyways.

A happy riajuu life? Yeah, no thank you. To be a riajuu itself was to put on a mask, all day, every day.

Screw that. Go die and blow up, fake-ass riajuu!

I already have my platter full trying to avoid them, no way in hell I was ever going to become one (speaking in terms of me actually having the chance in the first place.)

A regular loner life with regular loner goals…who knows, maybe I'd encounter some accident and evolve into my final loner form?

That's what I thought I was going to get.

I should've realized that things are never that easy. Even if I was just a middle school kid, the realization should have hit me earlier.

I thought I had already learned this lesson before, hundreds of different times, but…life…

Life sure can be…..

Unpredictable.


"Onii-san! Wake up, are you really gonna be late on your first day?! Well, I guess not late, but if you don't get up early to make a good impression, Komachi won't be happy!"

"...Urgh, fine! Stupid! Stubborn! Gross! Ugly!…Hachiman!"

I laid still in bed, staring up at the roof while listening to my little sister depart, taking her feelings of worry, annoyance, and a bit of anger.

Komachi's words were par for the course, at this point. But, they didn't sound familiar. I was grateful for that.

Just hearing someone around me say something unique was a little like opening a prize bag: it brought me a small bit of happiness.

Of course, I didn't just jump out of bed and start walking around the moment she walked away from the door.

My little sister was surprisingly sharp (at times), and I knew, for a fact, that she was still waiting outside, trying to ambush me to talk.

She'd kept up this routine, of trying to get in my head even after it happened. I was honestly surprised. I'd thought she'd be hurt by my lack of trust - separate away, and treat me coldly, our sibling relationship vanishing.

Maybe it was because she could tell that what I had dealt with was anything but normal that she didn't immediately begin ignoring me. Regardless of the reason, as much as I wanted to push her away, I was simultaneously grateful for Komachi's ignorant, but well-meaning show of care.

Of course, neither she nor my parents knew what had happened to me.

Only I could…and maybe, her. That was still up in the air, though.

In their eyes, I just woke up one day and began acting like an entirely different person.

Regardless of their thoughts, I never opened up about it. I didn't then, and don't plan to now.

Even if I still hadn't, it was obvious that I had changed, and not in a way that anyone could have expected.

Letting out a groan, I roused myself from the bed, sliding out from under my sheets and navigating my way through my familiar room in the darkness.

I stood by my bedroom door, leaning against the frame for a few seconds. Things were quiet for a few seconds, the silence eventually broken by a huff and a teary voice.

"...Stupid brother. Can't he tell that we're just worried about him? At least…I am."

The sound of little footsteps trudging along faded into the distance, and I heard the familiar sound of the front door opening, closing, and locking.

'Of course I know, Komachi…and that's why I have to turn away that kindness even more.'

Once I was sure she was gone, and the house was empty…I began my morning routine.

Showering, washing my hair out, brushing my teeth…despite my ways, I was still pretty serious about my hygiene, you know?

I'd consider it a rare Hachiman charm point, if I still cared about that sort of thing.

While brushing my teeth, I paused to look into the mirror.

Everything was the same. Slightly handsome face (not bragging, I swear!), usual blank expression…but my eyes.

Before, where there had been small, black pinpricks, things you could barely call human eyes, but were usually called "dead fish eyes"...was a void.

An ocean of darkness that swelled and writhed around in my gaze.

If I had to call it anything…I would call them "dead eyes". My eyes had lost the ability to express any sort of emotion, or brightness.

The edge cut me a little on my way out (ouch) but I made it to my room nonetheless.

For a while, I stared at the uniform that hung in front of me, dangling in-between the rack of simple clothing I had in my closet.

Soubu High.

My hands trembled, my legs were firmly stationed in place, and my gaze wavered, while I stared at the simple school uniform in front of me.

"The things I do for my little sister..."

I murmured this to myself, more like I was trying to verbally convince myself, than anything else. There wasn't anything else to be done, but to force myself to go.

I guess I'm still a sis-con, through and through.

Not that I minded the thought. Komachi was, and always would be, the world's most adorable little sister, after all.

And, she was one of the few things in this world I still cared about.


I leave my house, and in seconds I'm barreling down the road on my bicycle with practiced ease.

Just for a moment - I take a look around me.

Everyone was leaving their homes. Husbands, going to work, wives, going to work (househusbands, an interesting idea…), and most importantly, kids my age, and not, going to school.

I almost tuned into their feelings accidentally, but I didn't need to read their hearts to know how they felt.

Expectant, happy faces. Eyes that screamed innocence, and an excited nervousness for what was to come.

They were waiting, happy, and ready for the first flower of youth to sprout, as they enjoyed the rest of their happy lives…

And I could care less.

Maybe before, I would've had something to say about it, but the mental vitriol just wasn't there. The last thing my mind was on was my deep-seated hatred of the riajuu lifestyle that every school kid seemed to mindlessly, instinctively pursue.

I was more focused on important things…like when the day would end, or how quickly I'd be able to get back home and enjoy Komachi's cooking. And…world peace, maybe?

Yes, my thoughts began to wander. And when my mind wandered like this, I began to think back to that time.

Blonde hair swaying in the wind, a flash of sharp pain, blood, someone screaming…

"Ugh."

I couldn't help but audibly proclaim my disgust for the memory the moment it popped into my head.

Maybe I should turn my mind back on to thinking about the irrelevant "flowers of youth" again, or something.

Anything was better than being forced to relive that event, even in my head.

Like watching a tape on a tape recorder, over and over and over again…but instead of just watching…I was the one who started the tape, watched the tape…and I was the tape, itself.

That tape recorder comparison was probably a little dated, huh.

"...Whew." I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding in (another old but weirdly overused phrase, now that I think about it) as I pulled to a stop by the crosswalk, staring ahead.

Just a bit away, I could see the school. The rest of the bike ride probably wasn't even a minute or two.

But, for some reason, I couldn't bring myself to push past that last two minutes.

Plus, I was pretty tired from biking. Hard to stay in shape when you were mostly just laying around in your room all day.

…the only thing that was keeping me from being labeled a full-on NEET was the first E…not good. Even if I was sure Komachi would put in the effort to take care of her hopeless brother, the last thing I wanted to do was waste my future days languishing around in that house.

To work was to lose? I used to think that was right, back when I actually thought I could live without working.

Before I could ponder my frankly very bleak future, however…I saw something that actually gave me pause, for the first time in a while.

A dog, running across the road, directly towards me. This sight alone brought up some unpleasant memories, but…it was only after seeing the loose leash behind it, bumping stupidly against the road, that I realized, completely, what was going on.

"-!"

A feminine voice shouted out in alarm, a figure I didn't care to make out rushing towards the dog as she called out something, probably its name.

Her worry, anxiety and fear pricked at my skin - it was obvious that she was in a panic, but still…

She was in no state to only worry about the dog.

To the left, a car - no, some fancy limousine was crossing the road at the worst moment possible.

If left alone, the dog might make it, but the girl rushing across the road definitely wouldn't.

Not that I especially cared.

Death was just a part of life. Especially mine.

But even as I thought that, even as I felt the agonizing grief and panic rushing through my veins. I had felt this before. In cases of strong emotions - I almost shared them with the person. It was completely invasive.

'Annoying. Guess I still can't kick this habit, even after all this time…'

I had long sprung into action, faster than anyone else at the scene - I'm sure it looked confusing to those who watched. I had already made it towards the dog, by the time the car was trying to swerve to the side.

The owner looked at me, bewildered, and whoever was in the limousine seemed too busy processing their shock. I just crouched down calmly, surrounding the dog with my body.

'Hope I don't die again. That would be a little inconvenient.'

A sickening crunch, and a burning, white hot pain tunneling through my body, starting from my leg. Those were the last things I heard and felt before I passed out, my vision going black.


Thankfully, when I woke up in the hospital later, I wasn't dead. Something that made both me and Komachi breathe sighs of relief, albeit for totally different reasons.

She seemed a little happy at what she perceived as increased care for my life, though, so…I let it go.

Who was I to let down my precious little sister's feelings? More than they had been let down already, of course.

My parents never came. It was understandable. Our relationship was already strained, their implicit disappointment in me hanging over my life, but it became outright hostile when I stopped even interacting with them.

For all intents and purposes, Komachi became their only child.

It wasn't really depressing. She was always their favorite, anyway. Mine, too. It only felt natural that I was forgotten and left behind - it honestly felt better that way.

So, I spent that blank time reading books. Light novels, general literature, classics and the like, that Komachi graciously bothered to bring to me from my room (did I mention how she's the best little sister already?)

But, most importantly - it forced us to talk.

We talked during those 3 weeks more than we had in the past few months. There wasn't much to do, anyways, and I was getting bored just sitting around.

The loner life was fun, but only when you actually had a variety of things to do.

To be completely honest, I didn't feel the slightest shred of regret or sadness over the incident. Even after considering the negatives,

I broke a leg, and it might never really work just the same for a bit, sure. And I was deprived of even having the chance to enter a social circle, before it formed (although the plan was always never to do that - don't tell Komachi.)

But mystery girl A got her dog, I got to spend some healing time with Komachi (and avoid going to school for a while longer), and the limousine driver…

They…didn't get sued? I don't know, I'm not Phoenix Wright, here. Or maybe Edgeworth makes more sense.

Point is, the positives outweigh the negatives! Nothing of value was lost, and everyone involved gets to move on with their lives. That last part was the most important to me. Dwelling on things for too long - I'd come to hate it.

Anyways, those three weeks passed pretty quickly, and soon, it was back to the old routine..

I had barely gotten finished dressing up, when I heard a familiar few rasps at my door, signaling…

"Onii-chan, get up! Time for your wonderful, exciting, happy grand entrance into school!"

"...You and I both know that's not what's going to happen." I responded blankly, exiting my room with the uniform already on.

"So negative, so negative. Someone~! Someone, anyone, please cure my Onii-chan of his dead eyes! Or…maybe Komachi could cure it with her cuteness? That had to earn me a lot of Komachi points!" She said with a big smile, one that almost would've made me smile…if I still could.

"Yeah, yeah, let's just get going. You prefer walking to school, right? You're going to run out of time soon."

"-Huh?" Komachi cutely looked down at her hand, where…there was no watch. Then up at the wall, where a clock actually was, and her vibrant eyes widened in surprise.

"I-it's that close to attendance? U-Uwah~! I'm gonna be late! Please, help your adorable, innocent, so-good-to-her-brother sister out with your superbly excellent bicycle riding skills!"

"Trying to guilt trip someone and then buttering them up in the same sentence should be illegal." I huffed, but Komachi just kept that same smile on her face.

"But you'll do it because it's Komachi, riiiight?"

"...Alright, let's go."

"Yay! You're the best Onii-chan ever! Sometimes! Mostly!" Komachi hugged me, her small arms wrapping around my waist.

It was warm. A warmth I wouldn't get from almost anything else around. Only because it was Komachi.

"By the way, don't just casually add on all those clauses at the end without missing a beat. Minus Komachi points for that."

I added, flashing her an annoyed grimace. She stuck her tongue out in an irritating, yet irresistibly cute way, bonking her head.

What are you, some sort of clutzy anime imouto?!


"Hikigaya Hachiman, huh…?"

After arriving at school, I wasn't immediately sent to class - instead, I was waiting inside of the staff room, standing stiffly across from the woman opposite me.

Long, smooth black hair, curves that showed off her body as an obviously mature, yet young-looking woman, and for some reason, she was…wearing a lab coat.

Immediately, I knew to categorize her as one of those people. You know. The 'I'm forever 18' crowd. It was easy to spot one with just a glance. The weird, quirky attire, the smell of cigarette smoke around the place…

It felt like she was trying to be a young girl yet perfectly embodied the "drunk old man" lifestyle pretty good, too. He wouldn't be surprised if it turned out that she drove a sportscar yet spent most of her time drinking and frequenting seedy ramen shops.

I couldn't help but also take note of the subtle musculature she had, well-hidden below her clothing. She was capable, but that shouldn't matter. This was another bad habit of mine.

"Yes."

"..." The older woman squinted at me, easily able to deduce the direction of my gaze. "Is there something wrong?"

A dangerous question, especially from a dissatisfied older woman. Of course, my current strategy was all-invincible.

"No."

"...Hikigaya, if we're going to talk about your school life, could you at least answer a little more, I don't know…dynamically? I can't help you with anything if you don't say anything."

"Okay."

"You are some kid." Shizuka Hiratsuki, my new homeroom, and Modern Japanese teacher spoke, clearly exasperated. It wasn't really her fault. Adding onto my 108 Skills - I had developed a new series…the 88 Abilities.

This was Ability 45:

Straight-to-the-point.

Avoiding conversation altogether and being blunt prevented a lot of things. Nobody wants to talk to someone that purposefully only feeds them one-line answers.

Note: (this ability doesn't work on incredibly stupid people or the incredibly rare 'true riajuus'.)

It was the perfect strategy to use against a teacher, most of whom just wanted to finish their jobs for the day.

I got a vibe of general annoyance and displeasure from this woman, so it was probably working…

What I was confused about, was the not so small amount of genuine worry her emotions were tinged in. It seemed like this teacher wasn't as uncaring as I'd assumed.

"Alright, Hikigaya - any questions about your new school life? I am going to be your new homeroom teacher, so you should feel free to rely on me for anything you need." She spoke proudly, crossing a hand over her chest. It was almost over like she was trying to emphasize her already pretty generous size.

"Wah…so reliable…" I murmured, slowly clapping my hands. Shizuka groaned, waving me off dismissively.

"Nevermind, nevermind. My words just sound embarrassing when you react to them while being so obviously apathetic…so?"

'Sorry teacher, but they sound embarrassing even when I don't say anything.'

I quietly kept that thought to myself, and immediately replied,

"No." Shizuka sighed, looking ready to stand up. "-But." She cocked her head in interest. "I do have a request."

She remained silent (surprisingly), as if giving me the space to speak.

"The late introduction…can I just skip that entirely?"

"I can already tell that you and I will become a well acquainted pair of teacher and student, Hikigaya…"

Hiratsuka-sensei's words were kind…but what was that…ominous aura I felt from her?

I had a bad feeling that I'd suffer a lot of abuse at the hands of this lady…or at least, attempted abuse. The distinction didn't really make me feel any better.


The classroom. Where everyone spends the huge majority of their school life - unless you were someone that skips school, entirely.

While I'd never become a delinquent, myself, I salute you, delinquents and truants of the world.

On the other hand, if you are stuck as a teacher and simply spend most of your regular life in a classroom…my condolences.

Hey, at least you're getting paid for it, right?

Honestly, classrooms had come to be a place I hated. So many people packed into one room, all their emotions, voices, intentions piled into one place…

It was disorientating. Both due to my power, and my natural disposition. But, at this new school, I had one benefit: I was alone.

I already knew how to do everything not to stand out: walk in, quietly make my way to my desk (which, obviously, was in the back), put earbuds on, and lay my head on the desk.

I could listen to an audiobook, and waste time until that strangely violent teacher made her way to class.

I'll take a potato chip, and-!

Anyways, point made. I should've been fine.

So…why was I feeling two distinct gazes on me? Not in my vicinity or past me, unless the people looking had x-ray vision or something. They were trained directly on me - it felt weird, it was always an unpleasant feeling knowing people were directly looking at me. Like being knowingly spied on with a camera.

Gazes filled with curiosity, worry, intrigue…guilt(?) and some…annoyance?

Oi. I haven't even talked to anyone yet, but I'm getting eyes on me? Maybe I'm more main character material than I thought?

…Haha, no. I have and always will be the sacrificial side-character. Or the nameless jobber that immediately gets thrashed.

I'd make a perfect One Piece Marine, wouldn't I?

Still, I had my own instincts. The instincts of a loner, and…something else. I wordlessly took a peek at the two sources, and found myself staring down two completely…unfamiliar faces.

One was a girl with long, blonde hair, heavy makeup, green eyes, and a perpetually mean look on her face, while she stared at(Unfamiliar #1) and the other was a girl with hair that seemed practically pink, and wore her uniform like the regulations were a suggestion, rather than actual rules. (Boobs - I mean, Unfamiliar #2.)

I wasn't sure how to feel about either of them, but my loner instincts gave me two better titles:

Bitch and Slut.

Well…I did know their actual names, but at least I could make thinking about them actually fun, this way. It wasn't like I'd ever bother talking to them, so I was free to explore any of the fun nicknames that popped up in my head.

Yumiko Miura. Yuigahama Yui.

How did I know their names without ever speaking to them?. Well, before I knew it, it had just become a habit of mine to selectively obsess over small details in certain locations. It was a skill I'd picked up during that time. I had pretty high confidence in my memory and observation skills, if I had to say so, myself.

Maybe you could call it a self-defense mechanism that I developed during then? Even I wasn't sure.

As far as I was concerned, there was no need to monitor them beyond that single glance and those few idle thoughts.

I already knew that they weren't capable of killing me. That was all I cared for. Finding out the reason behind their curious gazes wasn't a priority. They could stare as much as they wanted - as long as they didn't attempt to get any closer to me.

My school life would begin alone and quiet, and that's how I'd end it.

I put my head back down on the desk, and resumed listening to my audiobook. I got to start off right where I'd left things.

…wow, these were really damn convenient.


The familiar bell rang, and class was over. I didn't even bother to stay behind, leaving in the crowd of people that dispersed as soon as our final period finished.

You may think it's best to wait until everyone leaves to exit, but that's an amateur's mistake. It only made you stand out more, and left you open to a lot more awkward one-on-one events. For someone like me that wanted to live a lonely, quiet school life, those were poison.

I wasn't really prideful enough to think anyone would bother starting up a conversation with me anyway, but I still took careful measures to avoid every group of students I could - eventually leading on a path through Soubu's maintenance exit to leave through the back.

It was a long, boring day, but maybe I'd find a little bit of light by finally being able to get back and enjoy Komachi's cooking…

"Hey, you. Stop."

I was on my way out of school (through the top-secret secret back entrance, duh.) When I was apprehended, verbally, by an unfamiliar voice. That top-secret part made me extra unsure…how did I get found?

I either had a stalker, or a really shitty amount of luck. Obviously it would be the second.

More than anything, though, I was surprised that I actually stopped. Why did I? This would be an encounter I'd usually end quickly and thoroughly - by just walking away. At best, they assumed you were busy, and at worst, they found you rude and despicable.

It was another win-win. I've been experiencing a lot of those recently.

Ah, whatever. I'd just need to deal with things cleanly, here.

"It's you, isn't it, Hikk-...Hikigaya? Stop hiding that ugly mug of yours and just turn around."

And so, I turned around, finding exactly who I expected to be there…

"...Who are you, again?" I asked, looking directly into the eyes of Yumiko Miura.

She didn't falter at my empty gaze, but instead…at my words.

"Wh…what? What the hell are you talking about? You know exactly who I am!" She quickly responded, flaring up in a way that made me apprehensive.

"No. No idea. See ya." I repeated these things in a monotonous, mechanical way, turning away from my new classmate and slipping out the maintenance entrance to the school grounds.

"Wait, Hikigaya…H-Hikkio, you can't just-! Hachiman, you dumbass, you're really just gonna leave a girl like this?! This is why you're such a piece of…! Did everything you did mean nothing to you?!" Her voice was filled with equal parts frustration and passion.

All of which I ignored, as her shouts grew further and further away from me.

I had parked my bike back here, so I grabbed it, and rode my way on home, slowly shaking my head.

'What was that supposed to be? Grabbing a guy's hand, calling him by his first name, talking so desperately…'

She was definitely trying to get a guy's heart beating, wasn't she? It was a good thing that she couldn't move mine (for various reasons.) It was probably even better that nobody was around to hear that last part. That could cause some serious misunderstandings…

He didn't care about his reputation, but he didn't want to get the shit beat out of him because someone made a misunderstanding about him and a popular girl.

Still, just for the record, I was lying. She wasn't wrong at all, or exaggerating.

I know exactly who Miura is, and we have definitely met before. I remember when we met, and the interaction I had with her then. That's another story to think about some other time.

I guess you could say we had to become something like partners for a while, or maybe it was better to say…she saved me, and I saved her. Any sort of relationship ended when that hell ended.

Speaking of that hell, I guess my own introduction is a little deceptive, too…I did mention that I have superpowers, didn't I?

Of course, you can't use a word like that without having multiple. And the ability to sense other people's emotions was, ultimately, the thing I should've been the least worried about.

My name is Hikigaya Hachiman, and I've experienced hell.

Before I entered high school, even before I got in the incident that took away practically the entire first year of my highschool life…

I was stuck in an unending time loop.


Destiny here, back at it again with a new story. Trying my hand at Oregairu yet, and simultaneously venturing into the first-person perspective that Oregairu is known for. I'm reading the novels as I write this so some things may be cloudy or outright incorrect. In cases like that, I apologize.

I'm doing my best to get used to these characters and write as in-character as I can, as I try to be known for. I hope you all can enjoy the ride, and I hope this prologue has done it's job in leaving you confused as hell.

I suppose I should clarify early on: this story has no pairing decided yet. I do not usually write romance, but I am curious: if I were to add romance, would you all prefer it be focused on one girl, or a harem? I'm honestly more proficient with the latter, but as I've said, this is more of a curiosity question than anything else.

See you all in the next chapter.