disclaimer: I own nothing

Author's Note: Here's the bonus chapter because of my forgetfulness. We're coming to the end of this story, sadly. I'm only going to get a few more chapters out of this.

Enjoy!


The next night Newt slept through Tempest's feeding and when he did wake up, Tina was gone.

Confused, Newt got up and headed downstairs. He found Tina sitting at the kitchen table, staring at a mug in her hands. Newt stopped behind her, resting his hands on her shoulders, glancing at the clock on the wall.

"Tempest's next feeding isn't for another hour or so." Newt said.

"I know." Tina said quietly, not moving.

They were silent for a few moments.

"Is something wrong, Tina?" Newt asked quietly.

Tina said nothing. Newt slid into the chair beside her.

"Tina?" he leaned forward.

Tina looked up at him. Her face was pale and drawn and her eyes were bloodshot. It looked like she hadn't slept at all.

"Nightmares?" Newt asked gently.

Tina lowered her gaze, nodding slightly. She didn't seem to want to talk about it. Newt tried to think of something to say. He hated that Tina was still having nightmares. And he hated that she hadn't woken him up, for whatever reason. They had been getting worse again for the past few days. Newt had no idea why they came and went the way they did.

"You can talk to me about them, Tina." he tried.

This received no response, making Newt feel that he may have said the wrong thing. He touched Tina's hand, but she didn't remove it from around the mug. She was staring hard at its cold contents.

Tina stood abruptly, going over to the cabinent. She pulled out a jar, tipping the teabags inside out on to the counter. She turned back to Newt and set the jar on the table in front of him. Newt had no idea what she was doing and just stared up at her. Tina drew her wand and placed the tip against the side of her own head.

Newt watched as the tip glowed and she pulled it away, silver blue threads clinging to it. Tina placed her wand tip in the jar and swirled it, the threads breaking free. She then closed the jar and looked at Newt.

"You don't have to look. But you can if you want to." she said.

She bent and kissed him gently before leaving the kitchen. A few moment later Newt heard her footsteps on the stairs. Once he was certain she was gone, he stared at the jar in front of him. He knew what it had to be. There was no reason for Tina to share her memory of being raped with him. But what she would show him were the memories of the nightmares that haunted her. The ones that terrified her, that her mind twisted horribly. Newt stared at the jar, not sure if he should even touch it, watching as the threads of memory swirled within.

Tina was willing to share it with him, perhaps because she couldn't properly explain it to him, perhaps because she was sick of talking about it. But that didn't mean that he should look. A part of him didn't want to. He hesitantly picked up the jar and stared at it, in debate. It wasn't really any of his business, though Tina was his wife. But she was willing to bare it to him, these dreams that caused her so much pain. He actually wanted to ask Tina what to do. He stood and headed downstairs rather than up.

Most of the creatures were asleep at this time of night, but Newt always felt more comfortable and at ease among them. So he simply sat on the steps, staring into the jar, waging an internal war with himself. He sat there so long it was time to feed Tempest again before he headed back to bed.

He knew at once, even though the room was dark except for the glow of the memories, that Tina was still awake. He sat down beside her.

"Looking seems wrong even though you said I can." Newt said, not setting the jar down.

"And I'm not saying this to be cruel, but I think it would be better if you showed me."

He heard Tina release a shuddering breath. She sat up. The light of the memories was enough to see her face.

"I know."

It was all Tina said, though there was much more emotion in the words. They went downstairs together. Figuring out how to view the memories took a bit of work -Newt posessed neither pensieve or death potion- but he managed to create a temporary fix with several potions and an enchanted stone bowl that both he and Tina spelled. Tina uncapped the jar and poured the memories in, where they swirled, becoming neither liquid nor solid.

Newt looked at her.

"Are you certain?" he asked.

Tina nodded, letting out a deep breath.

When they entered the memory, Newt found himself standing beside Tina. He recognized where they had been attacked by Grindelwald's men, but it was warped, different from how he had remembered it. It was dark and overly bright at the same time, the edges of the space warping weirdly. Glowing red cracks similar to magic spiderwebbed across the floor, barely there.

The fighting was going on, but the sound of it was muffled. Looking around as Tina began to lead him through the twisted dreamscape, Newt realized he was missing. He knew where he should have been, but he wasn't there. He wasn't anywhere. Tina stopped abruptly and Newt followed her gaze.

He saw a different version of Tina, Tina as she had been eight months ago, on the ground with the Dark wizard. But it was more drawn out than Newt remembered it, things he hadn't seeen the first time. Every detail of the man was in sharp relief in the weirdly harsh light. But things changed. When Tina screamed for him, for help, Newt wasn't there. The Dark wizard never knocked Tina out.

The dreamscape began to blur and fall apart, flashing what was happening instead, in between intervals of pure darkness. Knowing that the nightmares took place from Tina's view, Newt assumed that this was what happened when she dreamed. That everything else fell away, except for the wizard and the rape. Newt could hardly make sense of some of it, but he understood that Tina's mind threw her emotions in the nightmare, warping things more. The rape continued far longer than it had in reality. But no one came to stop the wizard and though Tina was fighting wildly, nothing she did even touched him. Newt forced himself not to look away from what was happening. If Tina had relived it like this so many times, he could make himself stand beside her and watch as she showed him.

Tina flinched at some things and Newt took her hand, glanced at her when he felt her trembling. She was staring at what was happening, at what Newt couldn't even begin to describe, her face expressionless, tears in her eyes. That was what made Newt look away.

"Tina." he said, focusing on her. "Tina, look at me. Just look at me. Focus on me, Tina."

She looked at him, still shaking, a tear spilling down her face. They looked at each other until the memory, the nightmare was over. Newt had thought that would be the end of it, but it wasn't.

Tina had given him more than one memory. The nightmares flooded in, any words that may have described them pale in comparision to what Newt saw. All were twisted and warped beyond what they were, but Newt felt Tina's pain and anger and terror and all the emotions he couldn't name meshed into it. Every time she was alone. In one, warped as the others had been, a baby was crying. Newt lifted his head here, not understanding. This dreamscape was fuzzy, blurry, out of sorts. He knew that meant that Tina didn't remember it well.

It was a warped image and Tina turned away, hands covering her face. The baby was crying and crying and Newt saw Tina go to it, then abruptly back away over and over again, the image flickering badly and seeming to skip what Tina couldn't remember, but the overwhelming fear that this dream carried washed over Newt. Not fear of the baby. Fear of what Tina herself would or wouldn't do.

That dream too ended and they found themselves back in the kitchen.

Newt looked at Tina. Her face was wet and there was a haunted expression on her face. Newt wondered if asking her to show him had been too much. He turned to her and took her in his arms. Tina hung on to him, shuddering slightly. Newt felt tears on his own face. He had known Tina was in pain, that her nightmares caused a lot of it, but he had never guessed they were like this even when she had told him about them.

And there was nothing he could do. He couldn't ease her memories of what had happened, he couldn't stop the nightmares from coming. He couldn't change her fear that she would somehow not be able to care for the baby, would be scared of it. She hadn't even told him that, but he'd clearly seen it. He could help ease the pain, but he couldn't take it away, couldn't make it fade. Not yet. In the months, years to come, the pain, the wounds would scar and fade.

But healing took time. And all he could do was help Tina through it. It was a harsh reality to Newt and he just held Tina tighter, saying nothing as she held on to him just as tightly, making him wonder which of them needed it more.


XXXXXXX


Tina finished the blanket a week later. They hadn't spoken of the night Tina had shown him the memories, but there was a deeper understanding between them now.

When Tina had one and Newt didn't wake up, she would wake him when it was over. It wasn't much, but perhaps it was better than being alone in the dark.

Newt was sitting at the kitchen table, writing a chart for Bunty on Tempest's feedings and the projection of how they would change and the quantity would increase. Tina walked over to him and Newt looked up to see her holding the completed blanket. He smiled.

"It's beautiful, Tina." he said.

She smiled slightly at this, then folded it neatly.

"Next time, I'm getting an earlier start on it." she said as she did.

Newt sat there, feeling his eyebrows rise as he stared at her. Tina didn't seem to notice what she'd said. Newt cleared his throat, a little awkwardly.

"Does that mean you're planning on more?" he asked.

Tina froze in smoothing the blanket.

"I...I don't know."

Newt laughed at the look on her face, though he was certain that it mirrored his own.

"I don't even want to think about that yet." Tina said, a hand on her swollen belly. "Not before the first one is even born."

To Newt this seemed like a reasonable plan. But it did make him think. He hadn't truly thought of him and Tina having children together. While they both considered him the father of the baby, it wasn't the same. Now he contemplated having more than just the baby. Just how many would there be? He considered this until Tina waved a hand in front of his face.

"I think that look means we're in trouble." she said.

"I'm just thinking about children." Newt said, though he felt that Tina had probably known that.

"Just focus on this one for now, Newt. Please." Tina took his hand and rested it against her swollen belly, where he could feel the baby kicking. "This is enough for now."

"I know."

Newt kept his hand on Tina's belly for a few moments, then lowered it. Tina smiled at him and took the blanket, heading up the stairs. He supposed she was putting it in the baby's room.

When she came back, Tina settled in the living room and Newt went downstairs to pin up the schedule for Bunty. When he returned, Tina was standing at the window, looking outside. She looked over her shoulder at him, smiling slightly. "

It's snowing."

Newt joined her to look and saw the fat, white flakes drifting down. He smiled. The last time he had seen snow, it had been the light dusting on the ground in New York. He and Tina went for a walk soon after this.

They were certainly not the only ones out and Newt smiled a little at how many people were delighted by the simplicity of snow. They simply walked with no fixed direction and ended up in the closest park. There were children in the park and Newt noticed Tina watching them. He knew she was thinking about the baby. Pickett stuck his head out of Newt's coat pocket, but didn't like the snow and burrowed back deep inside. The snow was slowly transforming the city and Newt turned his face up towards the sky, watching it spiral down.

They ended up going to the Leaky Cauldron for a warm drink. They sat at a corner table and talked a little before they decided to head back home.

"I can't remember the last time I saw snow like this." Tina commented.

Already it was drifting on the sidewalks and the curbs, dusting roofs and the tops of cars liberally and it wasn't letting up.

"We don't usually have it like this." Newt told her.

It was true. He couldn't remember the last time London had gotten more than what was little more than a dusting of snow. He adjusted his scarf around his neck, making it a little more secure as a chilly wind blew up and then died. He glanced at Tina, who was simply looking around, the snowflakes that had stuck in her hair a bright contrast to it.

They were almost home when a snowball collided with the side of Newt's skull and exploded.

It startled him and he shook his head as he heard a child's high pitched shriek of laughter. Tina was laughing and Newt turned to face the Muggle child who had thrown it. The child -a boy- stilled, as if he thought Newt was angry with him. Instead, Newt smiled and stooped, scraping together some snow from a drift into a snowball of his own. He threw it back at the boy, though he missed. This encouraged the boy to retaliate and they continued this for a while with Tina watching, until Newt, a little breathless, surrendered. The child waved cheerfully and ran off further down the street.

Newt turned back to Tina, who was watching him with a smile.

"What?" he asked, brushing snow out of his hair.

"Nothing." Tina said, still smiling.

Newt, feeling a little mischevious for whatever reason, made another snowball and approached her.

"Oh no. Don't even think about it." Tina warned.

This led to a minor scuffle between the two of them, in which the snowball was crushed against Tina's neck, though they were both laughing when they stopped. They walked the rest of the way home and when they were inside, Newt made cocoa to help warm them up. He settled next to Tina in the living room, where she had coaxed the fire into restarting. He handed her a mug.

"Thank you."

Tina took it and cuddled against him. It was cozy and warm and Newt smiled. He had been trying to figure out how to help Tina for months, but now he thought he had been going about it all wrong. Perhaps it was the simple, happy moments that helped the most. Sitting in front of the fire with Tina, enjoying the peace and security of simply having her close, Newt liked to think that was true.


Author's Note: This was one of my favorite chapters to write, because of the emotion with Tina's dreams/memories and then the fluffy contrast of fun in the snow, which I think they needed.

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