I don't even remember why we took the trip. But I do remember the sweet smell of rain lingering in the old bus that rambled down the curving roads toward Multnomah Falls. Becks was next to me scribbling down something in her red spiral bound notebook she always carried around with her. At 14, you always had too many thoughts or feelings in one day to contain in your head, and Becks the ever quiet, and sweet one needed a way to get it all out. So she carried that thing around with her starting all the way back in fourth grade. She probably had hundreds of those notebooks now. Sometimes she'd let me write down notes in them for her, or we'd play games. I'd stopped trying to peek over her shoulder to see what she was writing by the time we reached middle school—if Becks needed secrets, that was fine with me. We all need secrets sometimes. I do remember once the bus had stopped and Becks had shoved her red notebook into her bookbag and slung it over her shoulder, we scurried up and around a wet, worn path. A light drizzle had started but it was hard to tell what might be rain and what might be the falls. As we came to the center of the bridge, I gripped the railing and held my body as far over the side as I could without losing my balance. Becks stayed back from the railing but watched me carefully, her eyes glancing between the Falls and me, worry lining her lips. I didn't mean to make her nervous, but it all felt so wild and set my heart pounding in time with the falls. "I feel like a bird." I remember saying, my voice coming out shaky. "What?!" Becks said, her worry growing. Behind us the teacher was shouting over the sound of the rushing water, trying to regale our class with facts, but we could barely hear her. "I could fly right through the mist and land on that rock, don't you think?" I looked back over my shoulder at Becks but her eyes were wide in what I thought was fear at the time. I took a step higher on the railing just to feel the wetness hit my face more. "Wait!" Becks yelped, lunging forward and grabbing my arm. And I remember laughing as Becks held my arm so tight, but didn't pull me down.
After the goodbyes around midnight, Maya had slipped out the back door and onto the porch to catch her breath, beer in hand and wrapped in one of Paul's thick flannels he had left slung over the back of a kitchen chair. Paul had gone with Jacob to grab their overnight bags from Becks' beat up Corolla ("I'm fixing up an old Land Rover Kyle Messina sold me, but she swears she won't take it even when it's finished," Jacob had said, rolling his eyes affectionately). Becks had gone upstairs to use the bathroom and wash her face, so Maya was able to slip out without any awkward explanation.
Fog billowed from her mouth as she took deep breaths and tilted her head up toward the night sky, trying to blink back the tears from forming in the corner of her eyes. Maya gulped down icy air and paced back and forth on the deck for a minute in the darkness before plopping into the sunken swinging deck chair. She raised the beer bottle to her lips and took three quick glugs before staring down at her hands.
Maya couldn't help but feel that sinking dread pull at her insides. But, what for? Becks seemed happy the whole night with no hesitance, no wavering sense of worry in her, but Maya's mind kept going back to the voicemail Becks had left her. She had sounded scared—maybe not wholly scared but nervous—and Maya worried that that feeling was still there. Before Maya could get too lost in thought, she heard the soft click of the door opening and took another drink. Becks was wrapped in a thick sherpa blanket and wandered out onto the deck.
"Hey," she said quietly. Maya watched her form carefully before letting her gaze rest beyond her down toward the ocean trying to let the rhythmic sound wash her with a sense of calm she did not currently possess.
Maya nodded her head in response after a minute and Becks took a deep breath turning her back toward her to look out toward the ocean. The silence settled between them and Maya felt like she should say something, anything, or else she'd start crying or laughing or both.
"I am happy for you, you know. Really," Maya insisted.
"Yeah? Really seems like it," Becks said with a solid edge in her voice before turning around to face her. There was no use keeping their voices low—the wolves would hear everything anyway.
Maya set her face in a hard line and clutched the neck of her beer bottle.
"My this is a good thing," Becks breathed. "And we're happy about it. Really happy. And I know the timing doesn't seem great…." Becks looked down at her feet briefly before raising her eyes again, a new determination behind them that told Maya she'd put up a fight if she had to, "But I don't care."
Maya tried to keep her face smooth from the outward cringe threatening to darken her features. She swallowed hard once, and then again, trying to hold back the question that was threatening to tumble out. Sucking her bottom lip between her teeth, she bit down hard to try and keep quiet, but Becks' eyes were on her now, earnest and wanting to know it was alright. And it was alright, but–
"What about Northwestern?" Maya blurted out. She could feel Becks tense immediately and the last wisp of calmness evaporated between them. Becks crossed her arms in front of her protectively and shook her head before steeling herself.
"I'm going to try and finish out the spring semester and then I'll take a break," She seemed so sure, like it was just so easy to do. Maya felt her hands form into small fists. "Jake isn't thrilled about me going back but I think it's important that I—,"
Maya scoffed unkindly and shook her head. This spiked anger in Becks' eyes, and the intense flash made Maya shift a little in her was a Becks that Maya was not used to seeing. The only other time she had directed this much anger at her was when Maya had lost her Grandmother's bracelet that she'd lent her to wear to their eighth grade spring formal.
"You know, My, your way isn't the only way," she snapped, taking a step toward her. "I'm allowed to veer from the path you have so perfectly laid out in your mind for me."
Maya inhaled sharply, trying to swallow her own anger but it bubbled too close to the surface again. "You're right," Maya bit back, "You're allowed to change course. I just didn't think you were that desperate and would leave everything you've worked for behind to appease some asinine council expectation."
"Unbelievable," Becks' mouth hung open in incredulous anger.
"What do you want me to say? You've known him for five months and been sleeping with him for two. This is fucking crazy, Becks," the words spilled out of Maya's mouth in one fast breath and the tears were threatening in earnest now. Becks held the blanket around her with iron fists and was slowly shaking her head, not looking in Maya's direction.
"I want you to be happy—" she almost begged, her voice cracking now.
"I AM!" Maya shouted and then took a breath to steady herself, "I am. I said I was. I just…this just seems fast and you're giving up what you've worked for for so long, Becks. I'm just scared…for you," she tacked on.
Becks fitted her with a stare that Maya couldn't quite decipher. The anger was there, but simmered quietly under the surface. Instead, Becks looked at her knowingly, as if she finally understood something.
"Right," Becks said barely above a whisper. Maya waited for her to say more but the silence stretched between them and after a few minutes of Becks staring hard at Maya, her face screwed up in betrayal, she walked quietly toward the back door without another word. When the door clicked shut behind her, she could hear the muffled voices of Paul and Jacob starting just beyond.
Maya stared out across the dark expanse of the backyard as her breathing pulled in rough. In and out. But it wasn't working and she felt the familiar burn and prickle of panic start to climb in her throat like bile.
Why did she do that? Why did she say it like that? She was scared for Becks but..calling her desperate?
Fuck.
Maya shot up out of her chair and took off down the back lawn, the panic pumping in earnest. She needed to even out her heartbeat, she needed to breathe deeper, she needed to not feel like things were changing too quickly.
Maya hadn't realized where she was going until the painfully icy water soaked her socked feet. She walked along the beach edge aimlessly, first in the direction of the town lights and then veering off toward the dark thicket of forest. Her mind was racing and the hot pin pricks of pain poked at her throat making it harder and harder to breathe.
She felt herself go deeper into the forest, the sticks and moss and leaves clinging to her soaked and freezing feet. Maybe she had originally been heading for her parents house or even Keye's, but instead she just wandered and stomped through the quiet, cold forest trying to just breathe.
She was so angry at herself, for making Becks feel like she shouldn't be happy about this or that they were moving too fast. Who the hell was she? What killed her was that Maya knew for a fact that if the roles were reversed and she was the one to drop this bombshell, Becks would be by her side, supporting her, rather than doubting her decision and talking about timing.
"So stupid," Maya gasped, her breathing coming in shallow as she buckled over and put her hands on her knees. "Stupid. Fuck." She felt her knees go weak and braced herself against a tree trying to steady herself.
A sharp snap of a twig brought her head up suddenly as her eyes scanned the forest. Maya had never been particularly afraid of the dark or the forest or any part of the land she lived on, but as the cold wind whipped through the trees shuddering the leaves, Maya was reminded of the icy cold grip and red eyes from her dreams. Her eyes darted around the darkened forest, searching for movement, but it was still save for the waving of the branches. She still couldn't breathe properly and stayed buckled over.
Another snap and rustle sounded near her and Maya squeezed her eyes shut. Shit. Paul might kill her if she got herself murdered accidentally. The panic kept Maya in place and she let her eyes drift listlessly around the forest. She realized how much of a target she had made herself for anything–complete prey and yet—
"Maya?" Quil came out from a thicket of trees, barefoot and bare-chested. Turns out, the only monsters in these woods were ones she knew. Maya gave a short nod and continued to take gasping breaths. Quil hurried over to her and grasped both of her forearms in his fire hot hands. He must have been running rounds. "Fuck, are you okay? Are you hurt?" Quil's eyes flashed wild, his jaw clenched and when Maya shook her head no, he seemed to understand, "Sit down," he helped lower her to the ground and Maya sat with her knees bent leaning back against the tree. Quil crouched next to her and pushed her head gently forward, "Between her knees. Take deep breaths. Listen to me? Okay?" Maya shifted forward and closed her eyes. "Hear the waves? Can you focus on that sound? Try to match your breathing to them. In and out."
Maya tried to focus on the sound of Quil's easy voice, that warm lilt that lent itself to so much humor in the pack. And then to the waves. All of the things she knew. Quil's wide palm rested between her shoulder blades and she felt that seering familiar heat calming her heart. Maya felt her breath return and reached up to hold onto Quil's forearm.
"You have panic attacks a lot?" He said quietly after a minute of Maya's evened breathing.
"Not usually, no," she said, her voice coming out hoarse.
"What happened?"
"Becks…" Maya swallowed thickly trying to remove the lump still in her throat, "Becks is pregnant."
"Yeah, I heard," Quil responded. Maya looked up to take in his face. "Jake told me." He confirmed. Quil's mouth tilted in hesitance, "It's kind of crazy, right?" Maya let out a choked laugh before looking back down at the ground.
"I was such a dick," she breathed. "I called her fucking desperate."
"Jesus," he said softly.
"I didn't mean it. I just…" Maya cringed, "I'm so scared for her."
"Because of Jake?"
"What? No," Maya looked up at him and shook her head emphatically, "No, of course not. It's just…"
"Ah," Quil said, looking easily at her now. Maya looked confused, "That could have been you."
She swallowed harder this time and the realization shattered her.
"She'll forgive you," Quil said warmly and Maya felt the tears threaten to spill. "Come on. I have a hunch that Paul has no fucking idea where you are and will go beserk in roughly ten minutes if I don't get you back," he offered his hand and Maya took it gratefully as he swung her up onto her feet. "Here." He bent down and Maya hopped up onto his back. Her feet were numb and she was thankful when he peeled off her drenched socks and tossed them on the forest floor, "I'll come back for those. Maybe." He grimaced and Maya laughed, laying her arms gently across his collarbone as he held under her knees and trudged off in the direction toward her and Paul's house.
Quil kept conversation light on the walk back to Maya's and she even found herself laughing at the absurd way he said, "Do you think the council will hold a seance and hypnotize all the imprints to get pregnant at the same time?"
Once they reached her house, Quil let her down and Maya turned to look at him when she reached her front door.
"Thanks, Quil," she said softly. Quil gave her that gentle smile and nodded.
"Anytime. Just…take it one step at a time okay? They're going to make it, and so are you." He said before nodding and turning to jog toward the treeline.
Maya knew that. She was just…blindsided and felt like whatever implicit understanding her and Becks had temporarily shared had evaporated. She was once again alone in her feeling of the imprint being anything but easy for her and Paul. She looked down at her hand, hesitating over the doorknob for a second before she turned and pushed the door open quietly. The house was quiet and dark and Maya tiptoed her way upstairs and into her and Paul's bedroom. When she pulled the bedroom door shut behind her with a soft click, she turned to see Paul leaning against the doorframe to their bathroom, brushing his teeth.
"You okay?" he said and Maya gave him a brief smile before saying,
"Yeah, fine," she shimmied out of her skirt and tights and pulled on some sweats before walking toward the bathroom and squeezing past him through the doorway. He stopped her though with an arm around her waist and pulled her toward him. With his toothbrush still hanging out of the side of his mouth, he brought both of his hands to Maya's cool cheeks and looked down at her in confusion. Maya looked up at him, her eyes round and wide and her hands hanging limply down at her side. She was too tired to explain anything right now. Paul tilted his head as he examined her face with that focused, concerned look and rubbed his thumb across her cheek.
"You have dirt on you," he rubbed the dirt away and then brought his nose down to breathe in the scent of her hair, "Where were you?" His face was starting to morph into worry and Maya brought her hands to his wrists pulling them off of her face.
"I just went for a walk," she said quietly as she walked over to the shower.
"In the woods? At midnight?" he said, continuing to brush his teeth while looking at her over his shoulder.
"I ran into Quil," Maya twisted the knob and let the warm water cascade over her open palm.
"That explains the smell," Paul said as he finished up. "Hey." He was behind her now, his hands on her arms and rubbing softly up and down. Maya closed her eyes and leaned into his chest. "It's going to be okay."
"I know," she breathed out, bringing her hand up to cup the side of his face as she watched the water rush down the drain. Maya fought to keep herself there again but luckily the panic was less this time in Paul's arms. "I just wasn't ready for things to move this fast. It's fine though, she's going to be fine." Paul swayed her gently and kissed the top of her head. "Did you know?" Maya suddenly said.
"Only about two minutes before you did. Jacob told me in the kitchen. Can't say I was too surprised though," he said. Maya pulled out of his arms and started to undress. Paul watched her and when she turned around to face him she let out a deep breath.
"What do you mean you weren't surprised?" a hint of annoyance clear in her voice.
"They've been going at it like rabbits. And the way he talks about her, you'd think she was the fucking sun or something," Paul tugged gently at Maya's hair and she grimaced.
"Is there something wrong with us?" She looked up at him and his face fell back into incredulous confusion.
"What?" he said sharply.
"I feel like we're just…so far behind everyone. Like, is it me holding us back?" Maya confessed. Paul's face relaxed and he started to laugh. Maya's eyes shot wide and she tried to cool the fire of quick anger that struck in her belly. "Paul!"
"Maya, if you're jealous of Becks being pregnant, then I'd be happy to fix that for you," he joked coming toward her, laughter still pouring out of him.
"Ugh, fuck off," she groaned as she pushed against his chest with one hand and turned to hop in the shower.
"I could probably get it on the first try," he continued and Maya threw her head under the water to try and drown him out. "You just let me know!"
"I'd like to see you try and get through my birth control," Maya quipped.
"Is that a challenge?" He said, his voice receding.
"No, but you'll probably take it as one anyway," she retorted. She heard him laugh as he disappeared into the bedroom and Maya let the tension ease away from her as she washed the evening off.
The next morning, Maya drank her coffee quietly leaned up against the countertop. When Becks and Jacob descended, she waited warily.
"Morning," Jacob said kindly with that lopsided grin as he came into the kitchen.
"Morning, there's coffee… and tea," she said as Becks entered.
"Thanks," Becks replied sweetly. Maya tried to relax, to not make it weird.
"Um," she began. Great, good start. Totally comprehensible. Paul strode in yawning and gave her a fast kiss before pouring himself a cup of coffee. Maya tried to continue, "Uh, so Keye is coming by to grab us to go shopping for gifts in about 20 minutes," Maya said with almost a question in her voice to Becks.
Becks sipped her tea slowly from her place at the table and then looked up at Maya and then at Jacob, uncertain.
"Oh, I don't think I can go," she finally said. Jacob was watching her and looked to Maya as if to back Becks up. Paul leaned against the counter next to Maya and raised an eyebrow.
"Why not? You guys aren't going far, right?" Paul said. Maya was somewhat relieved that someone else asked the question instead of her.
"No, I don't think so," Maya replied.
"I don't really feel comfortable with that right now, with everything being so new," Jacob said cryptically as he placed his hand on Becks' lower back. Maya cringed in confusion and annoyance.
"New? What are you—" Maya started, but Jacob looked at Paul and continued.
"You'll understand when it's Maya, but there's no way she's going anywhere without me right now."
Paul just looked at Jacob with a placid look and then nodded curtly in understanding. Maya couldn't help but bristle at that.
"She's pregnant, she's not dying," Maya spit out sharply and then winced. Fuck. She needed to chill.
"We're going over to Charlie's for a fish fry this afternoon anyway, so I don't think I'll have time between that and my doctor's appointment," Becks smoothed over the tension and Maya promised herself that she would do better to be understanding. This was new, he wasn't wrong, but she could still be disappointed.
"Right," she responded with a lighter tone in her voice. Jacob wasn't paying her any mind at this point. "Well, text me if you need me to pick up anything while we're out then." Maya set her mug down and excused herself out of the kitchen to go and change. She could feel Paul's eyes on her the whole way and she tried to swallow that growing feeling in her stomach that felt a lot like loss.
"Remind me why we agreed to this again?" Jacob asked as he walked around Paul's forerunner and pulled open the door, helping Becks down from the passenger seat.
He was nervous. Being back here was dredging up a lot of old feelings that he didn't have time for right now. He felt like his sole job was to focus on Becks.
She had laughed at him when he had insisted she wear the big coat that went past her knees even though it wasn't freezing. But still, she had obliged, letting him button her into it and top it with a fluffy hat. He would admit he was being a little over the top, but this was his family and he wanted to try and do everything right that he could after making so many mistakes. That meant making this pregnancy go as smoothly as possible for Becks. His list of to-dos had ramped up after that fateful phone call just over two weeks ago.
He remembered the way her voice had wavered, cracking with uncertainty and he had never felt farther away from his home in his life. She had called him from the campus infirmary, in the middle of the night, and no sooner had she spit out the words, "Jacob, I'm pregnant." did his entire world shift into overdrive. He caught a redeye an hour later and hadn't left her side since. Becks had been adamant about staying to finish her finals, but every moment they stayed, Jacob felt more and more exposed. He just wanted to bring her back to the safety of the reservation, fiercely protected by his brothers, where he knew no one would get to them.
But he had conceded when she told him he could wait outside her classes while she took her finals. They left the second her last final had ended and only then did Jacob breathe easier when he crossed the line into La Push. And only then did it feel like they could relax and celebrate a little. She had seemed pleased that she was pregnant, but he worried she wasn't saying something.
And Maya certainly didn't help. Paul had warned him that Maya might take it badly, and that he should tell her first just to ease her into it or let Becks tell her in private, but Jacob had laughed saying, "It's a baby. Who's not going to love their best friend having a baby?" Paul had just shaken his head and braced for the inevitable. He knew her well, Jacob would give him that.
"We agreed because he invited you and your dad. I recall him saying something like "Just like old times." You don't deny the elderly their "old times," she giggled and Jacob smiled just at the sound. She was great at turning negatives into positives. "Speaking of your dad, have you told him yet?" Becks broached as they walked toward the front door of the Swan residence.
"Ah," Jacob stalled and Becks groaned.
"Oh, Jacob."
"It's been busy! I had to spend a whole day in Seattle to get those permits approved for the house early so I can start building in January," he bemoaned. Becks pulled the hat off of her head and raised her hand to ring the doorbell.
"Everyone can't find out before him," she said firmly. Jacob sighed and nodded.
"You're right, we'll tell him after lunch."
"Or now," Becks said as Charlie pulled the door open and gave a hearty "Hello!" Becks returned the intensity of the greeting and let him pull her into a hug as Jacob's mouth hung open in silent shock.
She wanted him to tell his dad in front of Charlie? No fucking way. Because if Charlie knew then…Jacob swallowed hard, feeling that prickle to tug Becks back toward him and take her to a place where she'd be safe.
"Jake! C'mere!" Charlie said, pulling Jacob into a fierce hug as Becks walked into the house.
"Hey Charlie," Jacob chuckled as he patted him on the back.
"How are you son, come in!" He pulled back to look at him and then guided him over the threshold. "Your dad and Sue are in the kitchen."
Jacob helped Becks out of her coat and hung it on the coat hook by the door. His hand slid to her waist and pulled her closer, easing some of his worry.
The familiar smell of the home hit him first. That comforting warmth, a hint of sweet lilac with an edge of warm patchouli and cinnamon. Suddenly it felt like no time at all had passed and Jacob glanced at the staircase, half expecting Bella to stumble down them at any moment.
Charlie led them toward the living room and Becks sauntered ahead into the kitchen, all smiles, with Jacob trailing behind her listening for ghosts. Sue welcomed Becks in her motherly tone, pulling her into her arms for a soft hug and said,
"Oooh, so good to see you. I can't wait to hear about how your finals went!" When she pulled back, she let both of her hands rest of Becks' cheeks and took in her rosier than usual complexion. Sue's eyes twinkled with something and Becks gave a small smile before nodding and making her way to Billy who hugged her with that deep, warming chuckle.
"It's so good to see you, honey," he kissed her cheek and looked over her shoulder at Jacob, brimming with happiness that his son looked so content in this moment, "Lucky!" he said and Becks laughed before coming to the stove and peeking at the sizzling oil in the frying pan.
The afternoon was easy and Becks found herself laughing and joking with Charlie like an old friend. As they sat in the living room, plates on their laps and tucking into the fish fry, Becks let herself recline into the warmth of the house and the overwhelming feeling of family.
Becks' parents had been around but not really accessible. As an only child, like Maya, she thought that her parents would be a little more invested in her wellbeing, but they were preoccupied with their careers, their friends, and their interests. So Becks never felt a bond like the family she got to experience with Jake. Maybe that was why it was so easy for her to accept the trajectory of her life now. Anything was better than being ignored. But still, there was something comforting about this old house and when Becks excused herself to use the restroom, Charlie pointed over her shoulder toward the staircase,
"One bathroom, sorry, it's just at the top of the stairs. Can't miss it." Becks felt Jacob's eyes follow her toward the staircase and she couldn't quite shake the undeniable stress that he held in his shoulders, in the line of his jaw, right around the edge of his eyes even once they had arrived here. What was it about this house? Sure, it belonged once to the girl he had loved, or thought he had loved, Becks wasn't sure which descriptor fit best, but that was so long ago now and he'd told her that the memories in this house were mostly good ones.
Becks climbed the stairs and let her eyes wander along the framed photos that ascended along the staircase. Photos captured the girl called Bella at nearly every age and Becks let her mouth quirk into a quick smile at the one of her and Jake as kids making mud pies.
She easily found the tiny bathroom and after washing her hands, she walked back into the hallway. The door to her right creaked open slightly grabbing her attention and Becks could see a room beyond it. Curiosity getting the best of her, she gently pushed the door open as it creaked loudly on it's hinges, clearly not having been opened for a while. The room was clean, if a little dusty and Becks let her eyes fall around the room, settling on the odds and ends that defined a person's space. She ran her hand over the dusty stack of CD's that littered the small desk by the window, and admired the purple bedding with flowers. As her eyes coasted up the bed, she noticed a handwoven dream catcher attached to a post at the center of the headboard, cobwebs lingering between the carefully woven thread.
Becks crossed the room and leaned over to inspect it closer, her hands gently fingering the delicate threading and worn, soft wood that was expertly woven together. Familiar. She thought.
A sharp groan of wood sounded behind her back toward the doorway and Becks straightened quickly to whirl around. Jacob was standing in the doorway, his eyes first on Becks, curiously, and then they coasted around the room, taking it in as quickly as possible.
"You okay?" he said, his voice a little hoarse.
"Mmhhmm," Becks nodded quickly, tucking both of her hands behind her back. She didn't know why but she felt just like a child who'd got her hand caught in the cookie jar. "Is this—?" she faltered and gestured around the room uselessly.
"Yeah," Jacob breathed. It was clear he was only up for monosyllabic words at the moment. Becks did another turn about the room. It looked exactly like that of a teenage girl's, not too unlike her old room back at her parent's house. Becks and Jacob hadn't officially moved in together yet, but she was sure she wasn't going back any time soon now that she was pregnant. She hadn't even told her parents yet, but at that moment, Becks felt like they had bigger things to worry about.
"Can we go?" Jacob said in earnest now. Becks turned back to look at him and saw that his face was pained, uneasy with her being here or simply standing in this room.
"Sure," she said softly, walking over to him. He extended his arms as she got closer and she let him fold her into his chest.
"I'm ready to take you home," he said softly against the top of her head. She could still feel the tight coil of muscles hunching his shoulders. As she leaned back to peer up at him, she nodded:
"Okay, did you tell Billy yet?" Jacob groaned at this and Becks smiled from ear to ear. "Come on then," she nudged his chest and he turned, grabbing her hand to guide her back down the stairs.
"He's just going to be so happy," Jake bemoaned. Becks giggled and when they rounded the corner back downstairs into the living room, she didn't hesitate,
"Hey, everyone, we have some news." She was getting good at this. And what was more, the butterflies that circled in her stomach as Jacob squeezed her hand and gave her the most overwhelmingly warm smile was her favorite part. He was so excited.
"Becks is pregnant," Jacob said looking back at his father with a pleased grin. Sue shot up out of her chair and chirped with excitement. Charlie gave a hearty, "Oh, ho!" and Billy…
Billy stayed seated for a moment, tears gathering in his eyes as he looked upon Jacob with pride and so much love.
"You sure don't waste any time do you son?" Charlie said laughing from the couch. Sue had made her way to Becks and had pulled her into a tight hug, tears rolling down her cheeks in earnest.
Billy picked himself up from the armchair and made his way to Jacob, grabbing his forearm and shaking his arm heartily before pulling him into a tight hug. When they released one another, Billy was trying to quell the tears that were threatening to spill.
"A baby," he choked out, happiness pulling at his voice. Becks nodded and Billy grabbed her to pull her into a hug with Jacob.
"I told you he would be too happy," Jacob quipped. Becks pinched his side and Billy started to laugh amidst his tears. They would take this happiness any day and make it the foundation for everything if they could.
"A baby," Billy kept whispering over and over again.
"Oh, fuck baby!" Paul panted as he gripped Maya's hips and thrust into her quickly. Maya fisted the sheets, her face pressed into the side of the mattress as she belted out Paul's name.
They'd tried to maximize their time together in their first week since Jacob and Becks had decided to stay a bit longer in the guest room. Even with the new insulation in the renovated apartment above the garage, Jacob wasn't sold on it being good enough for Becks. When he had expressed this sentiment at dinner one night—Becks having thoroughly shot him down saying that the apartment was fine and they didn't need to look for anything else in the meantime—Maya had jumped at the opportunity to invite them to stay.
So when Maya had returned from visiting her parents and Paul had finished a delivery in town early, they had about an hour to spare before Jacob and Becks were due back from lunch at Becks' parents. That's how Maya had ended up with her face pressed down into the mattress and her hips high, spread wide for Paul as he took her roughly from behind. His hands pulled expertly on her hips as he sunk deeply into her with each heated thrust. Maya moaned loudly, feeling herself begin to pulse as the pleasure gushed in between her legs and she started to tighten around him. His guttural groans wracked through her and she felt herself crest just as he snaked his broad forearm across her chest and yanked her up so that her back pressed against his chest. His hand gripped lightly at the base of her throat and his fingers pressed her face to the side so he could encase her mouth in his. Paul's rhythm got impossibly faster and she cried out into his mouth when he hit a particularly spongy part within her. Maya let her hand drift to rub circles on her clit as she arched her back, pressing the back of her head onto his shoulder as she felt her climax pull through her body in a rush of fire down her spine and spilling between her legs.
Paul gave two more solid, deep thrusts before spilling inside of her and letting out a low moan in her ear that made Maya grin from ear to ear. He held her to him, their sweat slick bodies molding against one another, as he caught his breath. When she tried to bend forward and dismount him, he held her tightly in place and gave a soft, "Not yet," and kissed her neck.
Maya leaned back against him, her chest rising and falling in time with his breath as she raised her hand to loop around the back of his head and stroke the hair at the nape of his neck. Warmth pulsed between her legs and she felt deliciously full.
She expelled a huff of air in a soft laugh and said, "You really are trying to get me pregnant aren't you?" she joked.
Paul chuckled softly and kissed her shoulder and neck, "Shut up," he teased. "I'm just enjoying us…like this," he said, letting his other hand coast down her chest and across her stomach before squeezing her hip.
"Mmmm," Maya hummed skeptically and relished in the feeling of him running his hands over her warmly and kissing along her neck and shoulder. These moments after were some of Maya's favorites and as she felt that flutter of pleasure ignite in her again at Paul's touch. She parted her lips to say something, but downstairs, they heard the front door shut and Paul exhaled in equal parts resignation and irritation.
On Christmas Eve, Emily and Sam held a pack dinner and gift exchange as a way to celebrate everyone returning. It was also when Becks and Jacob decided they were going to announce to the rest of the pack that they were expecting. Maya twisted the ring on her middle finger nervously as she looked through the closet for the right thing to wear. Her high waisted dark jeans hugged each curve and she was debating between her oversized gold cashmere sweater or the classic red Christmas sweater. She'd braided her hair in one thick black french braid down her back because she couldn't be bothered and embraced the casualness of the evening. Just as she reached for the golden cashmere sweater and tugged it over her head, she heard the bedroom door swing open:
"My? Baby, let's go," Paul urged as he finished a text and clicked off his phone's screen.
"I"m ready," Maya placated, tucking and folding the front of her sweater before donning some thick wool socks. "You think they're all gonna freak?" she followed up as she walked past him toward the door. He gave her ass a quick swat and followed her out and down the stairs.
"We'll see," he said noncommittally. Maya wasn't wholly convinced. It was a strategic miracle that no one had found out yet outside of the small circle Becks and Jacob had already told. Paul had managed it by only pairing Seth and Jared together on rounds and he kept his usual lid on things to keep everyone else in the dark.
When they came to the bottom of the stairs, Maya put on her boots and watched as Jacob buttoned Becks into her coat and topped a warm hat on her head. It was kind of sweet, but Maya just shook her head and hid her smile as she let Paul help her shrug into her coat and they headed out.
Emily and Sam's house was bursting with laughter and noise when they arrived. The cold, crisp air set a stark contrast to the comfortable, warmth that the house emitted. When they entered, they were greeted in the same fashion—hoots and excited cheers as they were pulled into hugs, offered drinks, and food.
It wasn't long before they all crowded into the living room—Becks sat on Jacob's lap and Maya sat on the floor nestled between Paul's legs. Sam's son Luca was ferrying presents as part of the gift exchange and the living room was full to bursting with howling laughter at gag gifts or crooning awes at thoughtful ones. Jeremy stood off to the side, sipping a beer, his face still warm but noticeably brighter than when Maya last saw him. He raised his beer when Sadie opened her gift from him—a day planner with personalized matching pens—to which she cheered and bounded over to hug him tightly. Maya was given a thick braided bracelet that could come apart and unsheath a sharp three inch knife.
"I hear there's a lot of creeps on the subway," Embry offered and Maya rolled her eyes and thanked him with a laugh. Paul fidgeted with the bracelet around Maya's wrist and made a comment about her needing to practice with it, but by that time, everyone's attention was drawn elsewhere.
Once the gift exchange had drawn to a close and a new round of drinks were distributed, Maya glanced at Becks who was shifting uncomfortably on Jacob's lap, her eyes uncertain and nervous as she tried to figure out the right time to announce their news. Maya opened her mouth to say something and grab everyone's attention, but Jacob beat her to it, whistling and commanding the whole room in just a few seconds.
"Hey! Listen up," he said when the pack had quieted easily. Sam raised an eyebrow at them curiously and Becks took a deep breath. Jacob watched the side of her face and leaned in to whisper something in her ear that drew out a smile. Maya squeezed Paul's thigh and he kissed her temple in response.
Becks glanced around the room and admitted in a nervous rush: "We're…we're having a baby."
The room exploded into raucous laughter, cheers, and questions as a surge of bodies—wolves and imprints alike—surrounded Becks and Jacob. Maya giggled at the onslaught and leaned comfortably into Paul's chest watching the madness unfold.
"Did you know?!" Collin turned to Keye and accused lightheartedly.
"Of course I fucking knew. She's my best friend!" Keye shot back from her place off to the side. Emily was in tears and Sam was congratulating Jacob on being the only other member to start a family. The jumbling of conversation warmed Maya's heart as she watched Becks' face heat up in equal parts excitement and shyness as she was showered in love and excitement from the pack. A flickering of motion by the kitchen island caught Maya's eye however and when she leaned to the side to peer around the large group, she noticed the back door clattered shut. Jeremy. Maya's heart caught in her throat and she watched the back door for a while. She couldn't even begin to imagine the amount of pain he must be in. But Jeremy's pain went unnoticed and was lost to this moment. And for that, Maya ached.
On Christmas morning, Becks and Jacob left early for Billy's. Maya and Paul stayed in bed and let the dreary mid-morning light filter in through the windows overhead enjoying the quiet. Paul's naked frame was pressed up against Maya's back as he clasped one of his hands in both of hers. Maya's lips were pressed to his hand as she nuzzled his hand beneath her chin.
There were rarely these pockets of quiet between them lately. Maya always felt like they were up and running, or Paul was out on rounds or a delivery or in his workshop, and she was hopping from one house to the next: helping Keye pick out decor for her new apartment next semester, trying to get a moment alone with Becks and failing, visiting her parents, and then Emily, and Sadie, or running errands to keep the house stocked with food.
Their time was divided—but this morning, the house sat quiet and the world outside hushed to a dull hum from the waves and wind in the trees. Paul lowered his lips to Maya's head and kissed her hair softly with his eyes still closed. Maya sighed sleepily, not wanting this rare moment between them to end. Somewhere between that thought and lazily kissing Paul's knuckles on the hand she cradled to her chest, they both fell back asleep.
When Maya woke next, the sun had glittered out gently behind the clouds indicating that it was late morning. She gave a hearty yawn and absently rotated her naked hips back against Paul's body that was still neatly draped around hers. Maya smiled when she felt him harden and grunt in recognition as he woke, his arm slotting down around her hips and pulling her more firmly against his groin.
In a pleased hum, Maya ground her hips back again to rouse him more, the heat already beginning to pool between her legs from his firm grip. Paul raised his head and ghosted his lips against her cheek to her neck, their unspoken conversation already beginning. Maya's body never failed to respond to his sweet or rough or gentle touches. As she started to turn her body in an attempt to face him, Maya felt the arm that wound around her hips loosen as he brought his hand to grip her thigh and lift it, spreading her open. Her heart stammered in her chest and when she turned her head to meet his eyes, he slid into her from behind, her slick making it easy for him to press in as he stretched her.
She held his gaze as he slowly slid in and out of her, the adoration pouring from his eyes and into hers. Their slow, loving pace matched their morning and Maya let her eyes flutter close, letting out sweet sighs and small moans as Paul brought his other hand around to tug and pinch at her nipples. They took their time, relishing in each soft thrust and Maya rotated her hips back as Paul pressed forward, coaxing groans and sharp hisses from him.
"Paul," she said barely above a whisper as she felt the soft tension build between her legs. She knew Paul could feel it too, the way he began to grip and milk him as her walls clenched.
"I know baby," he said and groaned as she shuddered in release around him, pulling his climax quickly, "God, My," he huffed in her ear as his length ticked inside of her, spreading his release and filling her. Maya glowed with warmth as she left her eyes closed, letting him pepper her with kisses and sweet ramblings of praise.
"Open this one next," Maya said as she sifted through the pile of tissue and wrapping paper discarded in a heap around them. Maya and Paul sat on the floor in the living room beneath their tree and had been opening presents from one another between sips of coffee and bites of blueberry pancakes they shared from the same plate.
Paul shook the narrow box as Maya sat with her legs tucked underneath her. He had given her too much, she concluded, looking around at the spread of clothes, a new book bag, purse, gold woven bracelet, and tablet before her. But this gift might even the playing field.
Paul gave her a sly smile as he pulled at the wrapping paper from the modest box. "What could this be?" he chuckled. Maya bit her lip as he opened the lid to reveal….a new pair of leather work clothes. He let out a huff of laughter and beamed at her like a kid on a Christmas morning, "Perfect! These are perfect, My." he said gratefully as he leaned over to press a kiss to her lips.
"Good," she sighed. "Try them on!" she egged him on, but it wasn't necessary—he was already pulling them onto his broad hands but his brow furrowed when he couldn't quite tug on the left glove.
"What—" he began as he pulled a small box from the inside of the glove. He glanced up at Maya who was trying her hardest to keep tears from her eyes.
"Go on," she giggled. Paul's mouth turned up in his unmistakable smirk, the one that she knew meant trouble.
As he popped the small velvet box open, his eyes glittered with unshed tears. He nodded once.
" I thought it was only fair since you got me a ring," she offered quietly. Paul plucked the hand forged gold ring from the box and looked up at Maya.
"And what finger does this go on exactly?" he teased.
"The only one that counts," Maya breathed.
"Just wanted to check," he said, sliding it onto his left ring finger, "Didn't want to assume." He took a long moment to stare at his hand.
"Do you like it?" she asked abruptly. Paul pulled her quickly into his arms and pressed his lips firmly on top of hers before she could even think. She melted into his kiss, his arms, his chest as an absolute pad of butter on perfectly browned toast. When he finally released her, she was drawn to the fierce look of determination in his eyes, which quickly smoothed into that soft look of love she always found there.
"I love it. And I love you, My," he pressed his forehead to hers and she automatically brought her hand up to cup his cheek, "So much," he eeked out before taking a sharp breath.
"Good, because that took up my entire reserve of tutoring money that I earned throughout highschool," she muttered which pulled a wet laugh from Paul.
"Well, I guess that means you've well and truly earned this now," he said cryptically. Maya leaned back to look at him but his face gave nothing away. He pulled them both to their feet and tugged Maya toward the front door.
"Paul," she stammered in a confused voice. He helped her into her coat and leaned down to slot her feet into his work boots so he could shuffle her outside.
Maya stumbled out behind him, holding tightly to his hand and trying not to fall in his massive boots. When she looked up, in the driveway sat a matte black Jeep Wrangler.
"Surprise," he said easily as Maya went wide eyed.
"Paul!" she gasped. "What the fuck! Is that supposed to be mine!?" Paul was laughing at her reaction and opened her palm to drop the keys in.
"Of course, whose else would it be?" There it was again, that too easy tone, that gentle way he took care of her that let her know there was no turning back—she wouldn't want to anyway.
"This is….this is—" she tried to catch her breath, her hand placed over her heart as she looked from the Jeep and then up at him. "This is too—"
"Do not say it's too much, because it's not," he said firmly, placing his thumb and forefinger under her chin and holding her there, "This is for you because you need it while you're here and I wanted to get this for you…for us," he held her gaze and she couldn't even fathom disagreeing with him on it.
"This is too cool," she amended, her eyes gleaming with joy. A smile broke over his face and he leaned down to kiss her which she returned with gratitude before pulling out of his arms and bounding toward the Jeep with excitement.
When she climbed into the driver's seat and turned on the ignition, the headlights cast a dim glow over Paul in the moody, dark afternoon and Maya beamed as she watched him there, hands on his hips as he smiled back.
