All familiar characters belong to Janet. Mistakes are solely mine.

"I know that particular ringtone belongs to Mary Lou. That's a partial relief," I said to Steph, picking her cell up from where she'd dumped it when she caught Olivia trying to sneak-scare her again.

Now she has her hands literally full of Olive. The two were in the middle of an impromptu dance party ... running, skipping, wiggling, and stomping confidently all around her office. I'm still deciding whether to be amused or concerned that they, and Mo and Gunny during the more animated shoulder-shakes, are moving to music only they can hear.

"Speaker me," my wife directed.

I did as instructed and opened the line.

"Hey, Mare!" Steph shouted over the belly-laughs our daughter is doing in response to her Mama 'dipping' her as they wrapped up their last number.

"What's going on over there? You sound weird. And is that Olive?"

"My ladies seem to have needed a dance break in the middle of their workday," I explained.

"That sounds like fun. I really wish I was there," she said, after pausing long enough for both Steph and I to know something's bothering her.

"We do, too. What's up with you?" Steph asked her best friend.

"You know how you love hearing that you were right about something?"

"Yep. Hearing that makes me almost as happy as getting to say 'I told you so'."

"Well, you won't like it this time. But you were totally right."

"About my mom setting her sights on you as her last hope of getting a message to - and reaction out of - me?"

"Yeah. She's parked on my couch, refusing to leave until I call you. You made me promise to tell you if this happened, otherwise I would've given Grandma Mazur a crack at her first."

"I told you to never open your door to her. She's even worse than a vampire, that supposedly never leave once being invited inside. She's an emotional vampire, who'll take a pass on the blood and just suck out your will to live while they hunker in. A call to the police would get her out of there just as well as a call to me or Grandma."

"While sparing Stephanie another headache," I added.

"You really want me to have Mrs. Plum arrested?" Mary Lou whisper-shouted.

"Yes," I said as Steph replied in the negative. "No."

"It's my fault Mary Lou's house is infested," she clarified.

"It's Helen's fault that any of this is taking place," I reminded her. "She can take full responsibility for the last few months. She's an adult. Though maybe she isn't, if she's perched on the edge of Mary Lou's couch, pouting and about ready to throw another tantrum because she didn't get her way again."

"Thinking back to when I first laid eyes on you, Ranger, I never would've guessed that a funny guy was lurking below all the muscle and mystery," Mary Lou told me.

"I don't like to brag, but I'm going to here. Ranger is the perfect guy, on paper and in the muscled-flesh."

"You won't hear any arguments from me. I can't help but notice that Lenny does a little more around the house and with the kids when he's heard you guys have stopped in to visit."

"Ooooh, I'm now thinking side business," my wife said to me. "You can charge people just for standing there, encouraging husbands and fathers to up their game. We'd make a killing ... except I'm not real good with sharing things I love, especially you. Only Olive, Jules, our guys, and your family, get my share of your time."

"Jeez, Steph. Obsessed much?"

"Obsessed all the time when it comes to my hubby and our family. You've been better than family for most of my life, which is why I'll be at your place in a few minutes. This isn't your fight."

"Does that mean Auntie Mary Lou gets another shot of Olive oil? I really miss having a baby her age."

"I know you do, Mare. But you'll have to come back with us to spend another hour of your life counting all of her tiny teeth. My mother can sour anything, even somebody as sweet as Olive is, so she'll be staying in our carefully-built happy place."

"So the boys and I are coming for a visit after this one's been handled?"

I fought a grin as Steph hesitated with her answer. The Stankovic boys are only slightly less trouble-seeking than Edna is.

"Yeah. You guys are always welcome. I'll even hit Shorty up for pizza ... but you are not allowed to try to kiss Olive's cheeks off again. Right, Olive? Auntie Woo can't steal these little cheeks I love so much."

She demonstrated that love by giving one chubby cheek a high-decibel raspberry, which brought on another round of baby-giggles with a dog bark or two mixed in.

"I'll try to control myself," Mary Lou said, "but I make no promises. My door's unlocked, just come on in."

"Saying that is likely what led to your current invasion," I pointed out.

"Very funny," my best friend-in law said. "I'll see you both soon, since I'm guessing Steph won't be showing up alone."

"You guessed right," was my reply before disconnecting.

Steph set Olivia down on her light-up rose-printed sneakers. Why they have to match the flowers embroidered on her baby jeans, is something I'll never understand. Combat and Bates boots go with everything. No prep or thought required.

"Looks like our day just changed," Stephanie said to the four of us. "Daddy and I have an errand we've gotta run. But lucky you, Olive, GodTank is in the building today. Too bad Mama has a less fun afternoon ahead of her. Though we have a system for handling that, don't we? We lift our heads up, pull our shoulders back, and we smile in a way that scares people."

I almost couldn't take seeing a tiny version of the woman I love, imitating every step of her Mama's 'face the enemy' battle routine. Olive's ponytail bobbed as she lifted her chin towards the ceiling, straightened her little back, and gave us a smile which I'm afraid will enchant the world's population, rather than terrify it like Steph was shooting for.

"God, I love you, Olive," my wife said, not resisting the urge to scoop her back up to hug her again. "That's such a good smile, let's go see GodTank while you're still wearing it. He won't be able to resist an unscheduled round of Olive-duty while you're grinning at him like that. He'll be toast."

I know he's mere seconds away from being more done than the toast Steph attempts to make for breakfast.

"Good news," I informed him. "Olivia needs someone to watch her for an hour or so, and Stephanie and Olivia chose you."

"Finally, my day's gonna improve."

"What happened?" Steph needed to ask.

"The same shit. Too much traffic, too much talking, too much of people not doing what the hell I say when I say it," he replied.

My wife turned to me. "Maybe we should see if Ella has a few minutes. Olive has her own ideas about how to do things, and she doesn't conform well to those of other people. Plus, she's becoming even more chatty, now that she's getting better at pronouncing things she hears. She may be 'too much' for someone to handle right now."

Tank held out the tree trunks he calls arms to our baby. "Time with my Goddaughter is probably the only thing that'll make my day better."

"Here's something else to turn your frown upside down, we're having Shorty's pizza when we get back," Steph informed him, while she let Olivia go give him a hug.

"Good. I'll skip the sandwich I was gonna snag." As soon as Olivia was sitting securely on his forearm, he turned concerned. "Why the unscheduled leave?"

"My Mom's staging her own sit-in at Mary Lou's," Steph explained. "We're going to get her to go home and hopefully give my Dad a break from her as a result of the discussion we're about to have."

"Not that I want to give up time with the ankle-biter here, but are you sure you don't need me to provide backup for you?"

"As much as I love witnessing any Tank/Helen interaction," my wife said, "I can handle all verbal exchanges, while Ranger has the physical ones covered. We just need to make sure Olive is okay while we do. I don't want her involved in in this."

"She'll be better than okay."

"A bottle and her pre-approved snacks are in the fridge down here," I reminded him. "There are diapers in both mine and Steph's offices. Don't let Gunner or Ammo O.D. on dog treats or bacon if Ramon is around. And if Olivia is at all unhappy, I will kill you the minute I get back."

"That's Ranger's way of saying 'Have fun'. He's kidding," Steph tried to say.

But Tank knows me too well.

"No, he isn't," Tank correctly answered. "But my Goddaughter is safe with me ... or she wouldn't be my Goddaughter."

"That's true," I told him. "My trust has never been misplaced with you. Be sure it isn't this time."

"Olive, baby, go easy on Uncle GodTank, okay?" Steph said, as she kissed our daughter. "He's got a lot on the line here. Don't forget, your play-picnic set is in Mama's office. Maybe you can sweet talk GodTank into having one with you."

"We'll be fine, with or without plastic food," he assured her before cutting his eyes to me. "Permission to shoot Santos if he tries to disrupt the mission?"

"Permission granted and is extended to include Brown and Woody."

"Oh brother," my wife said in exasperation.

"You're welcome, Steph," Tank told her. "You've been heard saying you always wanted a brother. Now you have a building full of them."

"I should've been more specific with my wishes," she replied, but she had a grin on her face as she teased him.

"You love us, Steph," Santos stated, barging in when he realized our day appears to have changed. "Don't try to deny it."

"I do and I won't. But don't you try to hoard Olive's attention. A bounty was just put on your head."

He shrugged. "Won't be the first time. And the Olive-pit is worth it."

That was said as he first stepped over Mo and then took a detour around Gunny to try to pry Olivia out of Tank's not cold or dead hands. One huge mit was immediately placed over the majority of Lester's face, and it was soon pushing him away from our daughter.

He may have had an even harder time getting Olivia to release Tank. She has both arms wound tightly around his neck while she flooded his cheek with an enthusiastic - and extremely drooly - kiss.

"Looks like you and I literally made the cutest 'kid'-scarf for Tank," Steph joked, also taking note of how Olivia had put him in her version of a headlock. "Okay ... Tank didn't actually shoot Lester, so I think we're good to go now."