All familiar characters belong to Janet. Mistakes are solely mine. The words Frank's tracing are based on something I read online that I then changed to fit my story.
Stephanie hiked Olivia up higher on her hip and pointed towards the port we're currently approaching. "What do you see, Olive?"
"Boos ... ows," our daughter was saying as a steady reply.
"I hope those 'Ows' are Olive-speak for clouds, because Daddy and I won't react well to you having any 'Owies'," Steph said back.
"All I see is a ton of blue above and below really fluffy clouds, Steph," Julie told her, "so I think Olive's okay. She's just describing the scenery."
"It'd make sense if she is. At home, she sees wall-to-wall Uncle with a few dogs running around for distraction-purposes. Vacations like these are a whole other ballgame for her eyes and head to adjust to."
"I haven't heard our Olive-Pit complaining at all about living in our building," Bobby was quick to say. "Her daily view could be way worse than looking at us."
"Don't get your boxers in a bunch. I agree that she and Julie are two lucky ducks to have you all around everyday. I was just thinking that maybe Olive's just really excited to see someplace new. Speaking of, we all know Mary Alice wants to check out Blackbeard's castle when we hit the island, is there a specific place you heard about that you want to see, Dad?" Steph asked her father.
As has become his typical way of responding to a question, he needed at least five seconds to come up with an answer he felt comfortable sharing.
"Yes ... there is. The cemetery on Veterans Drive that's not far from that castle."
"Oh, Dad ... you wanted to come to Saint Thomas just so you could visit Gioele's grave?"
"He loved the island so much, he wanted to be buried here. This is my only chance to finally pay my respects to him where he rests."
"It doesn't have to be your only time," my wife reminded him. "Ranger doesn't take long vacations like this very often, but three to four hour flights are nothing to work into our normal days. That's why we don't cry so much when Julie returns to her Miami home from ours. We're only one Rangeman jet-trip, and a few short hours in the air, away from her."
"And you don't need to have a grave in front of you to speak to those who didn't make it home, no matter the reason," I reminded Frank. "Every day you wake up, you can choose to honor him."
"That's what Rangeman is," my wife shared. "His company is Ranger's way to pay respect to his buddies who are no longer here, while paying it forward to those who are."
"You always manage to make me sound better than I am, Babe."
"Nope, I just call them exactly like I see and feel them where you're concerned. We love Daddy a whole bunch, don't we, Olive?"
I saw the involuntary flinch seize Frank's body before he caught himself and actively relaxed it. It's entirely possible that he's never heard Stephanie call him daddy or even say out loud that she loves him. His daughter didn't see his reaction, and my daughter has no such qualms about expressing her love for me. Olivia blew me a kiss before opening and closing her hands in a double 'gimme' gesture so I would hold her now.
To disgust the girls further than she already has this week, Steph slung her now free arms around Julie and Mary Alice. "Olive learned how to do that from me. It gets a Ranger-hug every time we do it."
Trying to keep Steph from gloating, Julie turned playful. "It's too bad you and Olive have to 'ask' for a Dad-hug, I just walk right up to him and get myself one."
She did just that. Walked over to her baby sister and I and curled her thin arms around my midsection, equally as confident as Stephanie and Olivia are that my hold will always expand to include her in it.
"Are we ready for some land and island time?" Julie asked her shipmates.
"Yes," everyone answered.
"If it's okay with everybody, can we visit Dad's friend Gioele's grave before we do anything else?" Steph asked. "Exploring a castle and playing in the ocean can wait. I don't think this can."
"It's alright, Stephanie," Frank began. "We can ..."
If he knew his daughter as well I do, he would've waved a surrender flag the second her blue eyes narrowed at him, which was before he even began speaking.
"DO NOT say that we can visit the cemetery later, Dad. This is something that you've been thinking about and wanting to do for over three decades, you're only waiting until we get off the yacht to see your friend again. And just because I think you need to be aware of it, not one family member here was going to suggest doing anything before meeting Gioele. You need this, and everyone here needs you to start healing some old wounds so you'll be able to play with us too."
Since my arms are full of my girls, I couldn't go immediately to my wife, but my eyes caught hers and I gave her a nod of approval. She doesn't need to hold my hand every time she does something physically or emotionally uncomfortable to her, but I still want her to know that both of my hands, my shoulders to lean or cry on, and a Glock, are always at her disposal if she needs them.
"This isn't easy for me," Frank finally admitted.
"Believe me ... I know, Dad. It sure as heck wasn't easy when I realized that I and my life needed a major overhaul and I was the only one who could make the changes I needed. But look around this deck ... doing the dirty work of finding out who I am, what I need, and why I was living a life that made me so miserable, got me all of this ... all of them. You could have the same if you decide to want us."
"Well said, Stephanie," my mother told my wife. "You're not the only one who has gained so much. You have brought a light and more laughter to our lives that we didn't know we were missing until Carlos smartened up and brought you home to us. Our Olivia is extra-sweet frosting on an already irresistible cake."
"You know," Valerie added, "I think this is the first time our family's been together and has been able to take a calm breath without having to worry about the cost of being happy for a minute."
Edna sniffled loudly and we all cut our eyes to her to find her dabbing at the corners of hers. "I'm gettin' teary in my old age."
"We all are, Grandma," Val told her. "It tends to happen when you witness something as rare as pigs flying or a snowball fight in hell ..."
"Mom said the 'H' word," Angie pointed out.
"We heard," Steph told her niece. "You'd think she'd learn her lesson after Lisa repeated a few 'letter words' at school."
"What can I say ... one bad day can go on to haunt you."
"Tell me about it," Steph agreed. "Luckily, we have far more good days than bad ones now."
"You ready to get a break from me?" Nemit interrupted, joining us with Tank not far behind after the ship was secured.
"No," my wife answered. "But we are anxious to explore the island. Don't forget, you promised to have dinner with us tonight."
"Wouldn't miss it."
Nemit received a smile for not trying to get out of another family dinner, and then we all disembarked and walked down the pier straight into tourist central. Arranging rental cars for the day didn't take as long as it took my ladies to get from the ship to the end of the pier, and then past all the little shops and cafes that had menus written on boards nailed beside their entrances. My mother had bought gifts for half of her children before Frank and I had returned with keys and directions to where Tank and I can pick up our rented vehicles.
"I thought the view coming in was pretty great," Steph said when I reached her and promptly reached for her, "but the blue sky, blue water, and the Ocean Blue Restaurant, here on land aren't too shabby either."
"This is a new record for you, Babe. It typically takes you at least a walk up and down a beach, and dinner looking out over it, before you give a place your seal of approval."
She shrugged. "We've got important things to do. I didn't want to waste any time saying I'd be happy to come back here any time. Keep that in mind, Dad," she said in Frank's direction. "Where I enjoy going, Ranger usually makes happen."
"You know I'll do anything for you. The cemetery is a thirteen minute drive from here. Are you ready for this, Frank?" I asked my father-in-law.
"Yeah. I owe Gioele this ... and more."
I nodded in understanding. "Let's get everyone in one place and divided into vehicles. Edna has already called shotgun for the vehicle Tank is driving."
"You can come along with us," Steph offered her father. "I want you and Grandma to still like each other by the time we get home, and you may not make it without a death threat looming between you if there's just two feet between you and Grandma Mazur when she's in full Tank-appreciation-mode. He's the polar opposite of Kryptonite to her."
Frank must have agreed that we're the safer bet, because he and Mary Alice opted for our ride out to his friend's final resting place, while my parents separated so each vehicle would have a mature chaperone on board. Both bus-sized vehicles emptied out seconds after they stopped, and our group stood for a respectful moment of silence in honor of a Hero who was also a personal friend.
Frank was quiet as he traced the words hand-carved into the stone set at the base of the above-ground grave being protected by a mature Turpentine tree. I read each word after the tips of Frank's index and middle fingers left it to move onto the next one. 'Farewells aren't always forever. Goodbyes are not the end. The tears you shed for me will cease once we meet again.' After another glance around the almost uncomfortably-full cemetery, Steph came up with a plan to make this visit brighter and have Frank's pilgrimage feeling a little less surreal to him.
"I noticed that we passed a small flower shop on our way here," she said to us. "Julie, why don't you and the girls come with me and Olive so she and I will have help picking the perfect flowers for Gioele?"
"I'm in," my daughter agreed. "I bet he'll want something colorful."
I looked at Tank. "You drive," I ordered him.
"We'll be okay," my wife promised. "My Dad needs more supervision than I do right now."
I didn't answer, just kept up my stare.
She blew a curl up and off her forehead. "Fine. Tank ... you're up. We'll be back in a few minutes."
The kiss she gave me was a lingering one. I could still feel her lips on mine as I watched them until I couldn't see their rental anymore before I focused on my father-in-law. I waited until Frank's eyes lifted from his tenth read-through of the words his friend took to his grave.
"Do you know what you can do for Gioele now?" I asked him.
He just looked at me, at a complete loss for the answer I may be after.
"You have the opportunity to live a life he didn't survive long enough to make for himself. I've had this discussion with myself and with my men many times, Bobby can attest to that. The biggest, and also easiest, thing you can do to make Gioele proud of the man and friend he knew ... is to stop shutting yourself and your emotions down and start appreciating those who want to love you before you no longer have them in your life."
