All familiar characters are Janet's. The mistakes are solely mine.
Stephanie picked up Olivia's hands from where they were resting on her knees, placed a kiss to the center of each of our baby's palms, and then she lifted them up to completely cover her cheeks.
I caught and held her blue eyes, needing to alleviate the trapped look I can clearly see in them.
"It'll be okay, Babe."
"Then why do I feel so much like throwing up?"
"It's because you love your father and want to take away anything that causes him pain, and you're worried that you're about to cause him some now."
She released Olive's hands and went for a prolonged hug instead. "How can I not hurt him? It's not like someone's taken a pencil and erased my childhood and wrote in a better replacement."
I nodded. "Exactly. The only thing you owe Frank is the truth. He's put in a lot of effort with you lately, but that doesn't immediately cancel out thirty plus years of indifference. You'll be doing him a favor by providing him a direction on how to make up for the past to better your future."
She was quiet as Olivia took over the conversation. "Uzee, Mama. Uzee."
"You want me to get up so you can have my seat? Or you'd like a ride around the living room again?"
"Gibbe uzs," she answered without having to think about it. "Runz fas me."
"Want me to run her around our little block for you?" I asked.
She scooted to the edge of the cushion so our daughter could scramble up behind her body and climb onto her back.
She shook her head at me. "No. It'll give me a chance to work out some of my nerves."
I nodded as I took her seat while she clocked in some miles circling the coffee table, and even went for a scenic run down the hall and around the kitchen before returning to me. Both had pink cheeks and were wearing genuinely-happy smiles when the course was run enough times to satisfy Olivia.
My wife glanced at the couch where Gunny and Mo sat flanking me, sighed, and sat on the floor to let Olive dismount. She didn't have any energy left in her reserves to cajole or bribe the boys into moving.
I waited to see what our baby decided to do next before bringing up something I wasn't sure my wife would take the right way. Olivia went for her dogs and nestled herself a place between them. I handed her a sippy cup half-full of juice that was on the table beside me as she relaxed into Gunny's side, and then I focused on Stephanie.
"Would you like me to be there with you for the initial therapy session?"
She froze and her eyes shot to me. "You mean be inside the room with me, my Dad, and a doctor or two?"
"Yes."
She hesitated. "Isn't that admitting that I can't handle this on my own?"
"No. It's showing how much you've grown ... that you know what you need and aren't afraid to ask for or demand it. I'm not trading Frank's well-being for yours. I can just sit quietly and hold your hand if it'll help you relax and say everything you have to."
Finally I received the grin I've been missing for the majority of the morning. "I'd never ask you to stay silent, but like you told me ... I can't fix this for my father and you can't fix this for me."
"I don't intend to," I answered, repeating her past words back to her. "I don't like watching you drive yourself crazy or make yourself sick from worrying about something that's really someone else's responsibility to make right. If my presence alone allows you to feel less anxious so you can focus on what you need to feel better, I'm willing to offer my services."
Her grin got wider and so did Olive's who started flossing her baby toes with the thick fur sticking out from Mo's chest.
"You want to be there just to make sure my Dad doesn't hurt me."
I didn't smile. "Guilty as charged. You're my wife, which means you're mine to protect. And although I can give Frank credit for the strides he's made, I don't trust him not to cause you pain as he tries to explain his."
She glanced to where Gunny had shifted his position so he could wash our baby's face without losing his spot. I made a mental note that a bath for her will be needed ASAP.
"What about Olive? If we're both unavailable ...?" Steph asked me.
"Tank has been isolating just so one boss remains healthy and accessible at all times. He can watch her for us if you do need me."
"You should know by now that I've always needed you. This time is no different. Looks like I also need Tank. Do you think he'll mind?"
"No. Even if it's just to piss Santos and Brown off, he'd agree. But he's been trying to get Olivia to be a better basketball partner, so he's been looking forward to having more ball-time with her," I said, nodding to the three-foot-tall plastic basketball hoop in the corner far from the TV that was Tank's 'Father's Day' gift to me.
He still vows to catch me missing at least one trash-throw into whichever bin is located furthest from me. It hasn't happened in all the years we've known each other, but it's cute that he believes it will someday.
"Okay, then. It's a date for us and Tank and Olive ... if he says yes." She pointed a warning finger at me. "No threatening him. If he's busy, it's okay. I'll be fine either way. I just needed a pep talk and to be reminded that I'm not alone in working things like this out anymore."
"You should accept the fact that you'll never be alone again, Steph."
She laughed at my solemn tone and I felt decidedly relieved.
"And I wouldn't dream of threatening anybody," I added.
She rolled her eyes instead of saying 'yeah, right' as I got up to place the call.
"What now?" Was my second-in-command's greeting.
"Keep up the attitude and I'll ask Brown if he wants the honor of watching Olivia for a few hours."
That shut him up.
"You'll see an attitude if you attempt that," he tried to warn me.
If his bitchy response wasn't regarding my daughter, he knows he'd be eating his words with my fist forcibly shoving them down.
I glanced at my wife. "He's open to babysitting," I assured her.
"Thanks, GodTank! You're the best!" She called loud enough for him to hear.
"When?" He asked. "And what's going on?"
"This afternoon when we meet up with Frank and his doctor at his apartment."
He paused. "I thought you were concerned because Steph would be alone with them?"
"I was. That's why we both agreed that I'll be attending the session with her."
A disbelieving whistle of air shot through his teeth. "You're one sneaky sonuvabitch."
"I disagree. I offered her my support, Steph accepted it. Simple as that."
He did say what Steph let her eye roll convey. "Yeah, right."
"We'll see you at one."
"I'm losing track of the days and the time, I could be early," he told me.
"You have to work on your own subtlety. If you're that anxious to see your goddaughter, you can come anytime. Call first."
I could see him nod in my mind. "Will do," he said and hung up.
"Guess I really didn't have to worry about him turning us down," Steph said to me, when I turned back to her.
My girls are sitting together again. Our dogs were gentlemen and moved a little further apart so Steph could sit comfortably with them and Olive too.
"The opposite in fact. He wants to come earlier than we need him."
"That explains why you said to call first ... like he wouldn't anyway."
I walked back over to them and kissed both of their curly-haired heads. "What can I say? I train my people well."
"Tank's not 'people', he's family. He doesn't need a formal invite to come see us."
"He doesn't, but do me a favor and don't tell him that." Having my cell ring minutes later had me release a silent sigh. "See? Once the men get comfortable, we lose more of our alone time."
"Just answer it and tell Tank he's welcome anytime, call or no call."
I had no intention of saying that, but turns out I didn't have to because it wasn't Tank on the line. It was Vince down in the control room.
I took a page from Tank's book, knowing that surprise calls from either the lobby or the fifth floor are never good.
"What now?" I asked him.
"Sorry to bother you, Sir, but there's a guy sitting at the gate. Says he knows you and that you're expecting him. We weren't told to be on the lookout for a guest, so I wasn't letting anyone in who hasn't been cleared or has no proof that they've just tested negative unless I got permission."
I don't even need a name. I know his lack of patience rivals Steph's. He'd lay low until the worst has passed, but crawl out of exile before things are completely deemed safe. I also know that since he 'saw the light' so to speak ... he's become more cautious about anything that could end his life, so he would have gone into isolation at the first hint he needed to. And he'd even lie to get himself tested after months of being alone just to reinforce that he's healthy before showing up here.
"He's safe," I told Vince. "But just to bust his balls a little, ask his name and call it into Ram, take his temperature before he enters the building, and ask to see a doctor's note that states he's as normal as it's possible for him to be."
He hesitated, knowing not to get nosy. Unfortunately, Steph's curiosity has rubbed off a bit on them.
"He's a friend of yours?" Vince asked.
"He's something, but I do know him and I have been expecting him to appear. Show him to our 'visitor's room' when you're done harrassing him. I'll head down in a minute."
I hung up and sighed out loud this time. Stephanie's nerves are back, something I was hoping to avoid. She was already standing, holding our daughter protectively in her arms like she's ready to make a run for it. She's also shaking her head emphatically enough to have Olivia mimicking the movement.
"No. Whatever is happening now ... just no. I can't. My brain is too busy and too full, sorting through everything I want to say to my Dad. I can't handle anything else or any new crises right now."
I closed the distance between us and wrapped my arms around both of their bodies.
"Breathe, Babe," I told her, as she buried her face in Olive's shoulder and tried to do just that.
My baby sensed a shift in the force and tapped her Mama's head with one hand, her unique way of comforting someone.
"Remember when I said ... that a man I saved was looking for a job here?" I asked her.
It took a moment, as she quickly ran through hours of conversation we've had since we've been quarantined, to remember the details of that discussion.
"Yeah."
"He picked today to show up. That's all. I'll only be downstairs for a few minutes. I'll be back long before we have to head to four."
I saw the moment when she recalled everything I'd said. "You didn't want to tell me much about him, or your relationship with him, that isn't reassuring to me. Especially not right now."
I kissed her temple. "Let's get you through your talk with your father first. I promise tonight I'll explain One Shot Rossicot to you ... and why I haven't before now."
I made a mental note to remove all the weapons from her vicinity before I do.
