Never Again, Again
Chapter 7
Much too soon for Christine's liking, they headed to the James. There was a winter storm on the way and Mike wanted them on board before it hit. Katie was able to walk to the Jeep with Mike and Christine on either side, but Mike had to carry on board the James and to his quarters. Christine pulled back the sheets and blanket and Mike settled Katie into the bed.
"I'll call for Hannah if you want to get settled in. Rios will put patches behind your ears to stop sea sickness." Mike said.
"Yeah, Katie doesn't need that right now." Christine remarked.
"Neither do you." Mike answered before stepping into the office area. Katie had already fallen asleep and Christine scanned the various photos sitting around. There were several of the kids; which she expected, but there was also a wedding photo of Mike and her and a more recent photo; taken on their fifteenth wedding anniversary. She did not expect that.
She was putting their few belongings away when Mike came back in with Hannah. The little girl immediately ran for Christine. Hannah had always been a daddy's girl and there were times Christine struggled with her. Losing Lucas and having Katie be so sick; Christine found herself resenting Hannah. The little girl didn't deserve it but Christine almost couldn't help herself, especially when Hannah began getting a bit rowdy too close to her sleeping sister.
"Hannah! Calm down. Your sister is sleeping." Christine warned. Mike looked at her over a report he was reading.
"Everything okay?" Mike asked.
"Yeah, its fine. Katie just needs to sleep." Christine said. She pulled Hannah out of the bedroom, not very gently.
"Ow, Momma!" Hannah said.
"Christine?" Mike asked. Very early on, they had made the agreement never to correct each other in front of the kids. To admonish each other privately. It was something Mike still adhered to.
"Sorry." Christine told the little girl. Her chin was quavering and she was gripping her arm.
"Hannah, how about you and I go get your mom and sister some dinner?" Mike suggested.
"Pancakes?" Hannah asked.
"Not for supper." Christine answered, a bit sharply. Hannah looked at her feet.
"I'm not sure what is on the menu. C'mon, sweetie." Mike said, giving Hannah his hand. "We'll be back soon. Make yourself comfortable." Mike told Christine. He led Hannah out and Christine sit down on the couch and closed her eyes, knowing she had to do better with Hannah. She just didn't know how.
Losing Lucas, watching Katie wither away and carrying a baby that she had no idea how she was going to feed or care for had done a number on Christine. Hannah had become the object of all the anger, frustration, pain and resentment because she was seemingly unscathed by the Red Flu. She had not lost her childlike innocence and curiosity. She also loved Christine in spite of how Christine felt about her. Christine could only hope she could put a cap on her feelings before they changed Hannah.
Mike and Hannah came back with dinner. Christine tried to talk to Hannah but found herself unable to apologize. Hannah needed help with her shower and Christine noticed fresh bruises on Hannah's shoulder. She knew she had caused them but even for that, she couldn't apologize. She just knew that if Mike saw the bruises, he would come unglued. She would have to be much more careful in the future. As Christine brushed Hannah's long hair out, Mike prepared to go to the bridge for the night.
"I will try to come by and check on you all, but you are welcome to my bed. If I get to sleep, I'll lay down on the couch. It'll be tight for you all but the bed is pretty comfortable." Mike said as he tied his boots.
"Thanks." Christine said. She braided Hannah's hair into pigtails, trying not to pull it.
"Daddy, will we eat breakfast together?" Hannah asked.
"I will try my best, pumpkin. Remember what I said." Mike said and Hannah nodded. He stood up and kissed Hannah's forehead. "If you need me, you can dial 2 on the phone and get the bridge. Just ask for me. If I'm not in the bridge, they can radio me. Take it easy tonight." Mike said. He bent down and kissed Christine's forehead as well.
"We'll be okay." Christine said.
"Still, don't hesitate. Night, pumpkin." Mike said, addressing their youngest daughter. He stepped into the bedroom and kissed Katie good-night and then left. Thankfully, after brushing her teeth; Hannah went to bed next to Katie and after turning everything off and brushing her own teeth; Christine settled next to Hannah, who immediately cuddled close.
"I love you, Momma." Hannah said, sounding sleepy.
"Go to sleep, Hannah." Christine answered. A moment later, Hannah was asleep and Christine realized she hadn't told her she loved her back. What kind of mother did that make her?
