Never Again, Again

Chapter 23

Mike let himself into the house well after midnight a week later. As he suspected, his family was upstairs asleep. They weren't expecting him so Christine didn't wait up for him. He dropped his ruck-sack in the laundry room, grabbed a cookie out of the jar on the counter and headed upstairs.

Russ had explained everything. What had happened to Hannah. The beatings she took and that there was a chance she could be pregnant. And that there was no chance of her having an abortion. It upset him and he had thought about not coming home out of guilt, but he had three other kids that needed him and he did love Hannah. He had mentioned not returning to Russ and had been admonished for it.

He was a bit shocked to find all four kids in bed with Christine. Hannah was closest to Christine, which was odd considering their fractured relationship. In the dim light, he could see the bruises on her face and arms.

"Mike? Is it you?" Christine asked in a sleepy voice.

"Yeah, I'm here." Mike said. He wasn't sure what to do and the last thing in the world he wanted was to scare his traumatized daughter.

"Why don't you get your pajamas on and lay down. It'll be okay." Christine suggested.

"Hannah though?" Mike asked.

"She'll be alright. She's really missed you a lot." Christine said. He nodded and headed into the master bedroom. A moment later, he laid down beside James and wrapped his arms around him and Julia.

Mike hadn't realized how tired and jet-lagged he was and fell asleep almost immediately. There was something therapeutic about being near his family, even if he had failed to protect Hannah.

There were dozens of decisions he and Christine needed to make. He needed to be there for Hannah, even though he knew that there was little he could do for her now. It seemed that she was leaning on Christine and that was fine. He was glad Hannah had allowed her in.

The kids, even Hannah; were all thrilled to see him that morning and he enjoyed breakfast with Christine and the kids. Hannah was extremely quiet and had sat next to Christine after breakfast. To Mike that communicated that she wanted nothing to do with him and blamed him for what had happened.

Later that afternoon, while the kids worked on their lessons, Christine followed Mike into his home office and sat down on the chair across from the desk. It struck him that it was a very formal move.

"Mike; you are about to come out of your skin. What's going on?" Christine asked gently.

"Its my fault what happened to her." Mike answered. He sat down in the chair next to the one she was sitting in, hating the formality.

"No! No one blames you, Mike. Is that why you stayed gone for so long?" Christine asked. She reached over and touched his hand before he pulled away.

"Most of it was because I had trouble with flights due to bad weather but yeah, it was part of it." Mike admitted.

"Mike; she needs you. She was terrified you stayed away because you were angry at her. I tried to tell her otherwise but I don't think she believes me." Christine insisted.

"She has you. You are who she needs right now." Mike said.

"She needs me, but she wants you. There is a big difference. With you, she will learn to trust again. With me, I can help explain what may happen to her body if she's pregnant, but of the two of us; she needs you far more. Mike, I get it; this is hard. Just think about it before you leave again." Christine said.

"I didn't say I was going to leave." Mike said.

"You were thinking it though." Christine argued.

"I suppose so." Mike admitted.

"Mike…if she is pregnant…we have decisions to make. You, me, and Hannah. She can't have an abortion and everyone I spoken with advised against adoption. She is too young to be faced with raising a child, especially one conceived this way. There is a very strong likelihood we'll be raising our grandchild." Christine said.

"If she's pregnant." Mike remarked.

"She's already missed her period. The doctor wants to make sure that its not trauma and stress causing it though." Christine said.

"What's that chance?" Mike asked.

"Its definitely a possibility. She's young and her periods have not been regular even before." Christine said, and then laughed at the face Mike was making. He had never been comfortable talking about their daughters' development.

"So, I suppose we need to get her tested." Mike replied.

"Little soon yet. I do have a doctor's appointment made with my OB-GYN though." Christine said.

"The one that delivered the twins? I didn't like him." Mike asked.

"I changed doctors and it's a better option for Hannah. A female doctor who is very understanding and comforting. I'll go with her. Not sure you want to be a part of this appointment." Christine answered and Mike nodded.

"No. I didn't even like going to your baby doctor appointments." Mike said.

"Mike; I know its hard but just stick around. No one blames you. We all know that by loving you, we can be in the line of fire. It's the cost of loving you." Christine remarked.

"There shouldn't be a cost." Mike said.

"No, but its okay." Christine replied.

"Not for me its not." Mike answered.

"Mike, the option is; you retire and I don't think you're ready. We love you and we're okay with this. With a lot of luck, Hannah won't be pregnant and will heal, but she has to know that you don't blame her. She already thinks you do because of how long it took you to get here." Christine said as she stood up.

"I truly couldn't get here." Mike replied. He stood up and followed her out of the office.

"I understand and she will too. Just explain it to her." Christine said. She turned around and gave him a long and slightly passionate kiss before leading him back into the 'school room.'