All familiar characters belong to Janet. Mistakes are mine alone.
"What's that?" Atlas asked, pointing at my wife.
"It's a smile on the face of the woman whose husband is going to kick your ass if you don't stop pointing a finger at her," I informed him.
"What happened to not threatening people in front of the tiny one?" He asked, his eyes dropping to the dark-haired head currently bent over a book that's helping her learn her shapes.
"Olivia's more interested in tone than words. That's why I sounded so happy to teach you a lesson on what's polite and what isn't."
"Better listen to Ranger," Steph said. "I have a feeling you're going to need every piece of advice he gives you from this moment on."
"Did you find out anything?" He said to me.
Steph snorted. "He solved the mystery before he even got started. His trip only confirmed what his gut was already telling him."
My wife's smile grew wider after sharing that bit of information.
His eyes shot back to me. "What's going on? And why is your wife suddenly so freakin' happy?"
"Have a seat," I told him, gesturing him further into our living room and towards a corner chair that typically remains unoccupied unless Mo wants a break from Gunny.
It has since been mostly taken over by our gray mop/cat when she doesn't have access to a human. I waited until he was as settled as he's going to get before I spoke again, only to be interrupted when Gunny decided to steal Olivia's soft-page book and initiate a combo-game of chase and keep away.
"Gummy, no taked da ook!" Olivia yelled, chasing him around the room to retrieve her reading material.
"Life's never dull here," he noted. "Or quiet either."
"Hard to believe I once thought being married with kids would be boring," Steph admitted. "Now I'd need to find five free minutes just so I could look up the definition to know what being bored means."
"And you are adding to our drama," I reminded him.
"I know. And you know I'd prefer to end this myself. Say the word and I'll take care of it."
"Trust me, offing people isn't going to solve your particular problem," my wife said.
He shrugged, watching Mado stroll into the room. She surveyed the room, and all the activity going on inside it, with a flicking of her tail before she stopped in front of her chair and stared expectantly at him. He moved his ass so half of the cushion was free for her to jump onto. I give my wife points for wanting to adopt a creature that can train him so easily.
When I came back from a fast to-and-from flight, it was to find that giving Atlas access to a company card and a pet store was a mistake in judgment. A black cat condo stood six feet tall and is taking up an entire corner of the room. One cabinet in the kitchen has been filled with organic cat food - wet and dry - catnip, and multiple bags of treats. He then went completely over the top and our kitten-shaped dust bunny is now sporting a pink collar with a fucking bell on it. I'm positive I have Santos to thank for that 'gift'. Not to be left out, Mo and Gunny also received new squeaker toys and two bones that are the size of actual cow legs.
I quickly learned that while I was busy supposedly saving Atlas' ass, Steph was on a mission to save Ahumado's. Tank came through for her by supplying kitten shampoo and arranging - and paying for - an 'emergency' vet visit to make sure she doesn't pose a threat to my ladies or our dogs. But Atlas was a total dick for buying out the store and saddling me with the bill and the purchases he had unloaded. If I hadn't promised to keep him alive, I would've killed him. Watching our furry girl put him in his place to make space for her is the kind of revenge I'll have to settle for.
"What will solve my current problems?" He asked now.
"You remembering who was there for you when you needed someone to care about you," Steph shared.
His blue and brown eyes flicked to me. "Care to explain?"
"Not really, but I will. I'm sure the name Amari Migliassi will sound familiar to you."
He went completely still and his mouth clamped shut in anticipation of the questions he knows I'll be asking.
"Well?" I pressed.
"Not that you don't already know this, she's the woman I was involved with … whose father let me earn my keep in his shop. She's who I was really worried about. She can't handle this type of life."
"I figured that."
His back was rigid and his eyes narrowed as he stared at me. "And?"
"And … she's alright. She was approached and asked for your whereabouts, but it never progressed beyond one visit from the brother of one of your marks when he got out of prison," I told him.
"If he hurt her …" he began.
That released some tension I was still carrying. He was acting too matter of fact for my liking up until that point. That he clearly still cares about her, reinforced the opinion I've always had of him. He doesn't let many people in, but when he does … it's for life.
"He didn't," I assured him. "It was a quick discussion. She told him that you ran out on her and she hasn't heard from you since. That was the end of the hunt ... that involved her and her family anyway."
I could see his confusion. "Then why was I getting calls saying people I've lived or worked with are now targets?"
"It seems your lady love grabbed an unfortunate opportunity she was presented with ... and ran with it," my wife told him.
His confusion grew as he turned inward before looking at me for an explanation. Having the history I do with Stephanie, I'm sympathetic to how he's going to feel in a moment.
"She wanted to find you, and since you did essentially run away from her, for her, she didn't have any idea where to start looking for you. She took advantage of the appearance of that gangbanger's brother, and let it slip through your channels that people associated with you are now being sought out."
"What the F … U … C … K …?" He spelled out, knowing Olivia's in the room.
"That doesn't sound like a guy who's impressed with a woman on a mission," Steph said to me.
"If what you're saying is true, she friggin' lied in order to flush me out," he said, completely ignoring Stephanie's words.
She shrugged. "Never underestimate what someone will do in the name of love."
"Babe."
"You can't say anything. You and I both did some crazy stuff for each other, laws or morals be damned."
"Bam!" Olivia shouted at her dogs, throwing a ball into the hall for them to chase.
"That's right, Olive … laws or morals be bammed," Steph agreed. "Tell him, Ranger. We do what we have to do for the people we love. It's not always pretty, but it's usually for the best."
"I'm not going to argue with that," I told her. "The timing, or this situation, may not be ideal, but the result is the important thing. Before you say anything, Atlas, I met with her this evening to make sure my hunch was correct ... and that woman isn't over you. She's worried about - and invested in - you being alright. You may have left to make something of yourself, but what you meant to her then hasn't changed."
I can still see her brown eyes fill up with tears when she told me about the day he decided he had to walk out of her life and start a new one without her. He may have been doing the right thing in his mind, but in her mind, nothing has felt right since. Her appearing genuinely distraught, didn't stop me from running multiple searches on her and her family. Because she came back clean on all fronts, I stopped questioning her motives and the depth of her attachment to my newest Range Man, and wished them well if they could reconnect.
"I didn't want to hurt her," Atlas finally said. "I just had to do something with my life besides let her take care of me. I was nothin' when I met her ... had even less."
"Sounds like you were already someone pretty unforgettable," Steph pointed out.
"She has a good heart. She's someone who could never fully get what I've been through …"
"And?" I asked.
"And I won't be the guy who puts her through trying to figure me out and piece me back together."
"So that's it?" Steph asked. "She doesn't get a say in who she wants to love?"
I almost pulled the medical examiner's number up on my cell, knowing Atlas just kicked one of her more reactive nerves.
"That's not what I meant," he began, correctly sensing the danger he's now in. "But I'm not going to be manipulated into resuming contact with someone I've tried to stay away from. She lied to people I care about and scared the hell out of me. She also just caused a crapload of guilt to resurface with this threat-crap. I'm still trying to figure out how to live with the lives I've taken, I wasn't ready to be responsible for more. Let's not forget that she's not the innocent party here."
"Has it ever occurred to you that she only lied because she loves, worries about, and really misses you?" Steph asked.
"No," he said with zero hesitation.
She sighed in disappointment. "You know you and I have had our share of issues, so you can trust me not to sugarcoat anything I say to you ..."
"Kicking a man when he's down?" He asked her.
"No, I'm helping him out when he's being really dumb. Yeah, you've done some bad stuff, but you aren't a bad guy, Atlas. I've gotten to know you a little better in the last couple of weeks, and I feel okay saying that what you've done in the past would never have crossed your mind if you were raised in a good home with parents who loved you. You did what you had to do in order to keep yourself alive. That doesn't excuse it, but it does explain it. You were given a shot at an alternate life, which did have a lot to do with Amari, and you took it. Don't go back to your old ways by believing you're unlovable or not worth anyone's time or affection. If you had any feelings for her at all, don't you think you owe it to both of you to see if there's still something between you when you don't have shame and the cops or a gang dogging your heels?"
"Can you stop her?" He said, turning to me.
"No. And I wouldn't if I could. If you're not interested in this woman, fine ... I'll remind her that you're alive and currently unreachable. But if a happy reunion with her has ever crossed your mind or your dreams, I say stop being an idiot and listen to my wife. Your life is a stable and respectable one now. If she can add something positive to it, don't punish yourself by putting a bullet in a solid relationship before you know if there's still some life left in it."
His eyes and his mind went back in time for a moment. "She was incredible, going to bat for me even when she barely knew me. I don't wanna ruin her life by dragging her back into mine."
I want to kick my own ass again for understanding exactly what he's feeling right now. I'm still haunted by how I could've lost Stephanie with what I said or did when I believed I wasn't good enough for her. Our priority is to protect the handful of people who care about us when it isn't in their best interest to, and that's hard to let go of even when it goes against the wishes of those loved ones.
"If she's willing to go through all of this just to find you," I pointed out, "it's entirely possible that you've already ruined her life by walking out of it."
"What Ranger is trying to say," Steph told him, scooting over so our dogs could sit bookending her, "is Amari obviously loves you, and she is already aware of - and accepts - everything that feeling encompasses. You may see yourself still as that street kid who'd found it much easier to shoot someone than love them, but I guarantee … she sees a man who fought hard to keep himself alive and still isn't judging you for how you accomplished it."
"She doesn't know half the sh …" his eyes flew to Olivia before changing his comment, "doesn't know half the crap I've done. She loves who she thinks I am, not the actual man."
"You're more than who you were," I told him. "You need to decide whether or not you're going to continue to let your past define you. Mine surpasses your kill count, but I've found a way to deal with it that doesn't involve making those who love me suffer."
"Listen to Ranger, I've yet to hear every one of his secrets, but no matter what he's told me or will share with me in the future … it isn't going to change my feelings for him, except to make me love him more. I know who he is inside, and I can clearly see the integrity woven into every fiber of his being. You're not anywhere near as toxic as you believe you are, Atlas. If you don't believe us, Olive has a built-in BS meter and red flag sensor, and neither has sounded around you," Steph told him.
His multi-colored gaze tracked our daughter's progress from her seat by the couch to where Mado is curled up beside him. "The bacon bit hasn't exactly been climbing all over me, or ordering me around, like she does with the guys."
My wife looked momentarily guilty before the chagrined blush receded as fast as it appeared. "That's probably my fault. I grew her and the DNA she got from me seems to sense when my force field has been messed with. I love the Boss with everything in me, and I have a hard time remembering that he's who he is because he can take care of himself. To me, it's my job to always keep him safe, even if the danger is decades old."
While I can't say Atlas was the draw, Olivia did use his close proximity to the cat to get what she wanted. She tried on her own to climb up between the two of them. When she realized there's not enough room between the gray fur and his leg to wedge her little body, she grabbed a handful of the loose, black fabric at his knee and started tugging.
He looked to us before he would fulfill our daughter's request.
"You'd better pick her up," Steph told him. "Or you'll end up with bruised legs and shin-gauges from her digging her fingers and sneaker-tips into them to climb up herself. She's little, but she leaves a heck of an impression."
My lips tipped up at how quickly he moved to save himself. His movements weren't smooth, but he did manage to pick Olivia up and turn her so she was sitting on his legs, facing our cat.
"Be gentle," Steph reminded our daughter. "Remember, Olive … Mado has claws that are ouchier than Mo and Gunny's. Give her butterfly pets only, so she won't get scared and make boo-boos on you or Uncle Atlas."
"Utta by," she replied, splaying five fingers wide before she lowered her hand slowly to the curly gray fur.
I'm not sure if the cat's personality is mellow by nature, or if she's just grateful to have a safe place to live, but with Range Man-like stoicism … this cat has earned my respect with how she has tolerated our family's craziness, our dogs' curiosity, and our baby's infatuation, with little more than a squinty orange stare and an occasional mew.
Atlas watched Olivia for a few beats before glancing first to me and then to Stephanie. "She's a good kid."
"The best," my wife stated, with zero humility.
She's proud of our daughters and has never shied away from admitting it. I love her more for that alone. As protective as she is towards me, is only a shadow of what she'd do for Olivia and Julie.
"Take in the scene," I told Atlas. "You have the option of having something similar. Don't screw it up because you don't believe you deserve it. I almost made the same mistake, but I'd grown to respect Stephanie too much to tell her what and how to feel. If you still want Amari, be a man and make it happen."
