Never Again, Again
Chapter 32
"What will retirement entail?" Christine asked. They were in their bedroom and she was sitting on her bed, while Mike was sitting in the chair near the bed. Carly was sleeping in her crib.
"I just turned in my papers this morning. I haven't even spoken with the President yet." Mike admitted.
"I guess, I'm worried about insurance." Christine said.
"I will have to negotiate terms but I am going to ask for lifetime benefits for you and I. Insurance for the kids until they're twenty-five." Mike answered.
"Okay." Christine answered.
"Just okay? I really thought you'd be happier." Mike remarked.
"Mike; I honestly am not sure what I feel. Yes, I know I have wanted it for years. I just am afraid that you will resent us for this at some point. Can I ask, why? Why did you decide to retire finally?" Christine asked.
"Katie asked me the same question. I told her that I wanted to give you the one thing you'd wanted for years, but never really asked for. You had provided me a home, amazing children and anything I asked of you. I felt it was time I gave you something." Mike answered as he sat down next to Christine.
"Mike, that is a good answer but I just hope you don't end up regretting it. Before, you would come home and I could tell within about a month that you wanted to go back out. You would bare it, because you knew you'd be deployed again. This time though, you've retired. You won't have a light at the end of the tunnel." Christine replied.
"I may have to adjust but I need to focus on this family." Mike remarked.
"I can agree with that." Christine said.
"I am going to prove to you that I am happy to be here and that I am here to stay." Mike insisted.
"Then start with Hannah. Mike…you don't realize how badly she missed you." Christine said.
"She's barely said five words to me since I got back." Mike said.
"You need to be the one to speak up. She is stubborn." Christine answered.
"How do I even start?" Mike asked.
"Apologize." Christine said. She stood up and gave Mike a kiss on the forehead. She walked out of the bedroom before Mike could say anything else.
That evening, Christine let herself into Hannah's room, where she was studying. She sat down on Hannah's bed and smiled at a photo on Hannah's nightstand. It was of Mike holding Hannah at her first birthday party.
"Yes, Mom?" Hannah asked, turning in her chair to face Christine.
"So…Dad and I talked to today. He is retiring. I've told him he needs to talk to you but I think he's scared. I know he hurt you. Once upon a time, not so long ago; you gave me a second chance." Christine said.
"And you want me to do the same with Dad?" Hannah asked.
"I do." Christine answered.
"That is a lot to ask." Hannah remarked as she fiddled with her pen.
"It is and it was when you forgave me. Yet, you did." Christine replied.
"I needed you." Hannah pointed out.
"And you need your dad now. As I said, he is the last stage in your recovery. Your therapist agrees. Now, he is here." Christine remarked.
"You know, I have thought for years that he was angry at me. That I should have fought harder or something. That was why he stayed gone so long. And even now, he has Carly. Almost as a replacement, you know?" Hannah asked.
"Honey, he is still growing to love Carly and I assure you, she isn't to replace you. And he stayed away out of fear that you would reject him. I think you two need to just sit down and hash all this out. That is the only way you can really heal and this family can be a family again." Christine answered before standing up. She kissed Hannah's forehead before walking out of the bedroom. She was not shocked to find Mike standing in the hallway, after obviously eavesdropping. What shocked her was the tears on his cheeks. "Now is the best time to fix it." Christine said quietly. She kissed his cheek and went downstairs, leaving Mike to do what he needed to do.
