Spring
Days turned into weeks and weeks into months. Before Oliver knew it, it was almost the end of April. Four long months had passed and he was still no closer to reaching a resolution to his marriage situation than he had been at New Year's. The euphoria Oliver had around any new year's resolution had worn off a long time ago. Oliver quickly reverted to his familiar modus operandi of putting his life on hold for the sake of a marriage that had been bankrupt for a long time.
The following Monday was Shane's birthday. There was nothing he wanted more than to take her out on her birthday, on an official date, as a free man.
###
Thursday night
As Oliver sat alone at home, he allowed himself to think about both Holly and Shane. What did he want? To be more specific, who did he want? Or maybe more importantly, who was it who wanted him? Holly had been away for over 2 years. The letter he sent her 7 months ago on a wet and miserable night had come back to the DLO and then resent to her again. Although the method in which it was processed had been unusual, it still got to her and she had promptly returned to Denver, arriving just that afternoon. He would be meeting her later that evening at 10pm and hopefully he'd get a resolution. Before he met with her though, he needed to be honest with himself. Regardless of what she wanted, did he want her back?
As he strained to picture what his marriage with Holly would look like again, the smiley face of another woman invaded his mind. The beautiful face that had taken over not only his mind, but most importantly his heart. He was utterly and completely in love with Ms. McInerney. He finally admitted it, pushing aside and discarding the hypocrisy he had wrapped himself in for so long, the facade was gone. Now that Holly was finally here, the idea of getting back together with her was terrifying. He didn't think he could do it. How had she lived for the last 30 months? There were some hard questions that needed answers and he was intent on getting them. He felt the bitterness of his situation overwhelm him. He knew he needed to forgive Holly, but it didn't mean he had to like it or that it would be easy.
He dropped to his knees and prayed fervently. "Dear Father, please help me. I'm conflicted, lost and very inclined to allow my bitterness and hurt to call the shots tonight. I want to get out of this marriage, out of this contract that has been most likely irreparably and thoroughly broken by now. I don't trust her anymore. In fact, Lord, I resent her. How can this marriage possibly have a future? You know my heart better than I do, so you know I'm in love with another woman and there's no point in denying it. However, I have not sinned against you with her, but I've been sorely tempted and only you know how much. Despite Holly's lack of interest in our marriage, I have stayed true to her. Now I want out Lord, but I know it's not my will, but yours that needs to be done in my life. If it's your will for this marriage to continue, please heal our hearts and restore the love that's gone. I will leave this impossible task to you. Help me forgive Holly, and please Lord, help Shane… she will need you. I ask this in your precious name. Amen"
###
Friday Night
Oliver was free! His heart was light; he could hear birds singing in the middle of the night. His hands were busy... he was hard at work when a police car stopped by the curb, two officers jumped out and walked up the steps to the front porch. "Good evening, sir. What's going on here?" Oliver was very surprised, as he had been so focused on installing the gift that he did not notice them approaching. Oliver turned and said,"Good evening, officers. How can I help you?"
"We received a complaint about suspicious activities happening at this address. What is it that you're doing and why are you doing it at this time of the night?" Oliver smiled, thinking whoever had complained was completely right. What he was doing was weird. "I'm installing a porch swing for a very special friend's birthday."
"Why are you doing it now?"
"Because she needs to know how much I lo… ummm… appreciate her."
The officers both nodded. They seemed to understand Oliver's reasons and were hesitant to stop him. "Well, we understand the reasons behind it, but the timing is unreasonable. Surely you can see that, sir."
"Yes, I can, but I really need to finish it and I'm almost there. I promise to be quieter." The two officers looked at each other and nodded. Oliver's "reasons" were written all over his face. The dude was obviously in love and the officers didn't have the heart to stop him.
"Ok, then, if you promise to be quieter, we will allow you to finish up." They turned to leave with a friendly "Good night."
The female officer turned her head towards him and said with a smile, "I think she's absolutely going to love it. I know I would. Good luck." Oliver smiled, feeling confident and said thanks. He then immediately turned to his project trying to finish it before Shane got home. He was about to leave when he heard her footsteps just behind him saying something like 'what on earth are you doing here' or something like that. She looked so cute holding his letter opener as a weapon. She also looked sad… and vulnerable as if she'd been crying. He felt an overwhelming desire to protect her. He almost hugged her. His heart swelled by simply being in her presence… as a free man! They started this coded conversation, tiptoeing around each other but not actually saying what they each really meant. When Oliver couldn't wait anymore he said: "Ms. McInerney, my wife has returned to Paris. We wished each other well, we kissed each other goodbye." At this revelation, she flashed him the most beautiful and brilliant smile. His heart almost burst. She grabbed his hand and caressed the finger where his wedding ring had been with her thumb. She asked him how he felt. He was touched by the fact that her first thought was for his wellbeing.
He looked into her eyes and basked in the warmth of her love for him shining brightly as she looked at him.
They sat on her swing, her birthday present from him! He gazed adoringly into her eyes and all of a sudden he focused on her lips. Could he kiss her right now? They both wanted it… so badly. He sighed, knowing this wasn't the right time… but soon! He leaned towards her and whispered, "Ms. McInerney, winter is over… spring is coming." She smiled, "It's coming!" she agreed.
###
Saturday – One week later
"You're not wearing a ring. I thought you were married."
"I was. She left."
Laughing, Joe said, "Oh, so, we do have something in common after all."
Oliver laughed with him as it was a subject that no longer stung his pride.
"Yes, a couple of things."
Joe eyed Oliver carefully and said, "Shane seems nice."
Oliver rolled his eyes at the less than discrete prodding. "Yes, she's is very… efficient."
Joe burst into laughter "Efficient? C'mon O'Toole, it's me you're talking to." Oliver sighed. "Yes, I know. I know."
Joe wouldn't drop it, "Is Shane the reason your wife left?"
Oliver looked mortified. "No, absolutely not!" Then his face softened. "I haven't known Shane that long. She's been with the DLO for just about a year now. Holly left almost 3 years ago."
"But you don't deny that Shane's… kind of special?" Oliver sighed again, "No, I don't deny it." Then under his breath he added, "There's no point."
"How special?" Joe prodded.
"I don't know yet. You see, I've just come out of a bad relationship, I'm not in a hurry to start another one."
"Just come out? I thought you said she left 3 years ago."
"She did leave 3 years ago but the divorce is not finalised yet. In fact we just started the process."
"What took you so long to start it?"
"She disappeared to Paris with no word or forwarding address not long after we married and just recently came back to get things properly finished."
"Wow! You waited for her all this time? Why?"
"Yes, I did. I kind of thought… hoped we could make it work again."
Joe looked at Oliver with understanding and also a bit of pity. "Yes, I know exactly what you mean. I don't think I ever lost hope about your mother either. Not even after she married Harvey. Love is a weird thing."
"The thing is I'm not sure why I waited. I'm not sure it was love. It felt more like… duty!"
Joe paused and then asked point blank, "Are you in love with Shane?" Oliver looked far away into the mountains and sighed. He had just last week admitted to himself he was. Could he admit the same to someone else, like his own dad? He looked at Joe and all he saw was the love of a father, no judgment, no condemnation. He had no reason to be afraid of what his dad would think of him.
"Yes, I am."
"Is she with you?"
"I don't know. I hope so… I'd like to think she is."
"You said you didn't want to get into another bad relationship. What evidence do you have that Shane would turn out to be a bad relationship?"
"None whatsoever! I think she's wonderful, kind-hearted and beautiful. But…"
"But what, son?"
"I'm afraid I'm not good enough. That I will give my heart away again and she will trample on it as all the other women in my life have."
Joe nodded in understanding as to why Oliver would think like that but he had to help his son snap out of this self pity he seemed to be wallowing in. He obviously didn't realise what a good man he was, but Joe was going to try whatever he could to show him he was good enough and change his mindset.
"Oliver, why do you think Shane would turn out to be like another Holly or your mother? I haven't had much to do with her, but the little I've seen shows me what a smart and compassionate woman she is. Who encouraged you to reconnect with me?"
"She did!" Oliver answered quickly.
"Why would she do that if she didn't care about you? Why would she go out of her way to have us reconnect and heal from our past hurts only to turn around and trample carelessly on your heart?" Oliver had tears in his eyes.
"May I dare to love again, dad? It's so painful. Love doesn't seem to be for everybody and maybe I'm not meant to have true and real love in my life. I have the love of friends, of you and my God. That ought to be enough."
"No, Ollie, it's not enough. Doesn't the bible say it's not good for men to be alone?"
"Yes, it does."
"So, why are you settling for mediocrity when God intended for you to have life and life in abundance?"
"Wow! You're good at this, dad." Oliver smiled sadly.
"I'm just trying to get you to understand that not every woman is like Holly. I think Shane, in particular, couldn't be any more different. You're selling yourself short, son, if you think you're not a catch for any woman."
Oliver was deep in thought. Suddenly he said under his breath: "She drives me crazy!"
Joe raised an eyebrow and looked at him bewildered, "In what sense?"
Oliver had a look of hopelessness in his expression and smiled self mockingly.
"In every sense! When she's near me, I can't think properly. I can't function. She invades every part of my head… unchecked! She has free reign. Then she persuades, actually no, she manipulates me to get her way. I just can't say no to her… she's impossible! Sometimes I don't know if I want to strangle her… or… or kiss her senseless." Oliver laughed as if remembering something.
"Wow, you have it bad, son! I suggest no strangulation in this case, but kisses, lots and lots of kisses." They both laughed and grabbed another beer.
###
Oliver had a fantastic afternoon talking with his dad. They ended up sharing a lot more than Oliver had intended. They had 15 years of history to catch up on and every second was precious.
When Oliver left, he had a renewed sense of purpose and energy. His father's question kept coming back to the forefront of his mind. Is Shane in love with you? He didn't know for sure, but he suspected she was. He was determined to find out one way or another. He drove directly to her house from Joe's. When he got there he found her enjoying the last of the sunset sitting on her porch swing that he had fixed only that morning. She saw him as he came up the steps onto the porch. He smiled. "Good evening Ms. McInerney." She smiled brightly, her heart doing a little summersault. "Good evening, Oliver. What a pleasant surprise to see you here again. How was your afternoon with your dad?" Oliver relaxed and leaned backwards, partially sitting on the railing with his arms crossed over his chest. Shane just adored that relaxed, casual look on him. At that moment he looked just like how he looked on that fateful night when he was waiting to hear what song she had in mind for their last rehearsal before the showcase… minus the tie.
"Yes, very pleasant, thank you." He said, bringing her back to the present. Then he cleared his throat and carried on, "I need to ask you a question." Shane sat up a bit more straight and said with anticipation, "Yes?" All of a sudden Oliver looked a bit uncertain. Shane noticed it. "How can I help you, Oliver?" She encouraged. Then he seemed to make his mind up looking at her tenderly. "Could you first… ummm… please… put your cellphone away?" She raised her
eyebrows, not quite understanding his request. But she got up and went into the house and came back out straight away. She stopped in front of him, showed him her empty hands and said, "There!" He smiled and said, "I didn't have the chance to finish telling you this morning what I really wanted to do." She opened her mouth to say something but no words came out. Then looking at her with those smouldering blue eyes of his, he repeated the question he had asked her that morning. "Do you know what I'd like to do… right now?" She just stood there, unable to move, saying nothing. He took one step towards her, held her face gently in his hands and lowered his mouth to her lips. Shane was first in disbelief, almost stunned, but then she let her hands drift up towards the back of his head, and dug her fingers into his hair.
He also found her hair and dug his hands into it, luxuriating in the kiss that got passionate more quickly than either one had anticipated. All those almost kisses on the beach of a Georgia island resort came to mind as they kissed again and again as if to make up for lost time. When their lips finally separated, Shane went fully into his arms and held on as though if she let go, he'd evaporate.
"Am I dreaming?" She whispered.
"No!" He whispered back. Tears had started running down her face as she said, "Because if I were, it wouldn't be the first time." He pushed her slightly away from him so he could look into her eyes. While wiping her tears with his thumbs, he asked, "What do you mean?"
She smiled, while crying, then said teasingly, "Wouldn't you like to know, Mr. O'Toole!"
"Yes, I would, very much indeed." He said, smiling into her eyes. They sat together in the swing and she said, "Well, let's just say, this scenario has happened before…" Then biting her lower lip, she added, "Then I woke up."
"Aha, so, you have been dreaming about me, huh?" It was his turn to tease her. She blushed adoringly and said quietly, "You have no idea…"
Oliver thought about his father's suggestion and went in for another kiss that turned into another and another. Finally he let her go and whispered, "I don't wish to shock you Ms. McInerney, but you're not the only who's had dreams about this, both while sleeping and wide awake. But the time for dreaming is over. It's now time to live our dreams."
She lowered her head contentedly and rested it on his shoulder and he rested his head on hers. They started to swing gently, just basking in each other's presence.
Spring had finally come!
