This is a chapter between chapters. My intention is to catch up to where I can branch out into my own version of my AU.
Thanks for your patience and for the lovely comments.
The next chapter we will embark into a wild ride. Hang on tight!
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Then… the doubts creep in
Oliver went home elated! She loves me! He couldn't stop thinking about Shane and how she had received and reciprocated his kisses. He hadn't stayed very long at her place. Within a half hour, he decided to go home and give his heart time to process how this relationship was going to move forward from here. He arrived home, showered and arranged a quick dinner. As he ate his microwave lasagne, he started to subconsciously erect all kinds of barriers as to why this relationship just couldn't work. "We are just too different." "How could she love somebody like me?" "She's too modern." "How many very sophisticated guys has she had in her life with whom she could compare me? I'll never measure up." "She will tire of me soon enough." "Workplace romances never work, especially when one person is a subordinate to the manager." On and on he went constructing more excuses as to why they couldn't be together. Before long his father's advice was forgotten! He successfully managed to convince himself that Shane didn't care for him at all. He had allowed all of his old insecurities to creep back in and once again rule the day.
Monday morning Shane expected Oliver might be a little different towards her in the work place, but she was not prepared and never expected that he would completely freeze her out. He was so cold towards her that she was baffled and started to doubt her own sanity. "Did I dream those kisses or did I just imagine them?" "Am I such a horrible kisser that he not only wants to forget he kissed me, but he also wants to make sure it never happens again?" By the end of the week, they were barely talking to each other. Any conversation at all was limited to work related topics and even then, they only spoke when absolutely necessary. Shane finished the week not only confused, but devastated. He was curt and impatient towards her as if she had done something terribly wrong. She was stressed out and couldn't think properly.
Not knowing what to do, early on Saturday morning she called Becky.
"Shaney? How are you?"
"Hi Becky, I'm… I'm alright… I think… I don't know." Shane was trying hard not to burst into tears.
"Shaney, what's going on? You sound as if you're about to cry."
"Oh Becky, I don't want to leave Denver, but I think I might have to."
"What? Why? What happened?"
"Nothing… I mean, nothing has changed. I'm not involved with anybody and nobody seems to want me." Shane said bitterly.
"Shane, what's all this about? Does this involve Oliver?" Shane took a deep breath and blurted out in angst ridden words everything that happened.
"Yes, it does Becky. He came over to my house, out of the blue one afternoon last week and kissed me. He just grabbed me… like a… a rag doll and kissed me over and over again as if there was no tomorrow. It was… so wonderful, Becky." Shane forgot her anger momentarily and sounded dreamy for a moment. Then she remembered it again and continued bitterly, "And then this week, he completely ignored me; well, except for when he was trying to pick fights." Shane sniffed loudly and continued, "I'm just so tired of his barbs. I just want to run away from here and never see him again. Can you transfer me to Seattle after all?" Becky silently laughed to herself but didn't let Shane hear any merriment in her voice. "Shaney…! No, I can't transfer you. You can't run away every time something goes wrong. You need to stay there and work this out."
By then Shane was sulking like a child and felt like throwing a good old temper tantrum. She said in a whiny voice, "You've transferred me before, Becky. Why can't you do it again?"
Becky lifted her eyes to the heavens and prayed for patience. "Shane, have you even considered why he may be acting this way? He's probably scared to death. Feeling insecure maybe? Second guessing himself? Kissing you, as you said out of the blue, might have been the most spontaneous thing he's done this century, or maybe ever, and now he doesn't know what to do. So, he's chosen to fall back into familiar patterns and hide behind a facade of apparent disinterest." What Becky said made sense and Shane started to pay closer attention.
"Ok, so, he didn't think about it before and he just came and kissed me...so now he's scared and maybe angry and he decides to take it out on me as if the whole thing was my fault? What do I do, Becky?" Becky tried not to sound as if she was talking to a child. "Just wait, give him time and be patient with him. He'll come around." Shane sighed loudly. "Oh, Becky, I've done nothing in Denver other than wait for Oliver O'Toole to "come around"…" A sob escaped as Shane started to lose the battle with her tears.
Becky finished the call by praying on the phone with her friend which calmed Shane down somewhat. As they finished the conversation, Shane put the phone down and covered her face with her hands, allowing herself to have a good old fashioned sob fest. She felt much better afterwards.
Days turned into weeks and then into months with no changes at the office. They were still acting ice cold towards each other, and for most part, they avoided each other like the plague. Their relationship had been a lot more pleasant before they kissed. As the weeks passed, Oliver started to feel very sorry he had shut Shane out but he didn't know how to recover from the mess he had created unnecessarily, mainly because of his own insecurities. A couple of months later they were all going to Washington DC to support Rita in the Miss Special Delivery pageant. Oliver hoped that during the trip he and Shane would somehow reconnect, so he made plans to invite her out for dinner and possibly apologise for being an idiot. The only problem with that plan was Shane was never alone. She made sure of that. She stuck with Rita and Norman like glue. She was obviously trying to stay out of his way. He began to wonder how much she had been hurt by him allowing his insecurities to get in the way of their once budding relationship. He was determined to make amends.
Unfortunately, to Oliver's great chagrin, a situation developed in DC in which Shane sought out Steve Marek's help… and Steve was very attentive to Shane. They teamed up together and Steve was the man who saved the day. Oliver was most disheartened, as his chance to spend time with Shane trying to make things right was almost over.
On their last day in the capital, Oliver was having breakfast by himself in a booth in their hotel restaurant when all of a sudden he heard Shane's voice coming from the booth behind him. She was having breakfast with none other than Steve! Oliver tensed up and felt like abandoning his food and getting out of there in a hurry. He was put in the same position he had found himself in a long time ago when he was in the Mailbox Grille overhearing a conversation between Shane and Becky. He couldn't move as he was transfixed by what he could hear... back then and today.
"It's all sorted out, Shane. She's coming back this morning. Please inform your colleagues. They will be at Andrews Air Force Base at 11 hundred hours. You might want to be there as you and the rest of Oliver's team were instrumental in making this happen."
"Thank you Steve. We're so grateful to you and all your help. You know this would not have happened without you."
"I will do anything for you, Shane, always. You know that, right?"
Oliver held his breath waiting to hear what Shane would say to that. She said nothing, so Steve continued. "Shane, I have a position for you here in DC… right now… if you want. You'd work right alongside me. The job comes with an apartment and you'd make 4 times the money you currently make in Denver."
It was obvious to Oliver that Steve was throwing everything he had at Shane to win her back. Oliver realised at that moment the enormity of the mistake he had made by simply allowing Shane to believe in his indifference. He could lose her forever, right here, right now. He was terrified at what Shane would say at this crucial moment. He was torn between really wanting to hear what she had to say and wanting to flee as fast as he could before he heard something he'd regret forever.
"Oh, Steve, thank you. I'm touched, really! But it's not about money. I can't leave Denver. I'm stuck there whether I like it or not."
"Why? What's holding you there?"
"A dream!" She said flatly!
"Are you in love with Oliver?" Steve threw down the gauntlet, obviously no longer interested in beating about the bush. Oliver could hear the bitterness in his voice. He held his breath in anticipation.
"Yes, I am. I confess! I have been in love with him for what it seems like forever now. I couldn't leave Denver, even if I wanted to." Oliver sucked in a breath… his heart just soared. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. A little smile started to gently spread across his face and he couldn't get rid of it. Steve continued on the other side of the booth, his tone getting bitterer and bitterer.
"Is he in love with you, Shane? Has he told you that he loves you as I have?"
"I don't know… No, he hasn't told me he loves me, but I'd like to find out and I'm prepared to wait. Until then, I'm staying in Denver, Steve, and there's nothing you can tempt me with that will change my mind."
"Is it about the stupid porch swing you were telling me about? I can give you all the porch swings in the world, you know!"
"I know you can, but I only need one and I already have it."
Oliver heard a shuffling noise, he suspected Steve was leaving.
"Well," said Steve, "I'll see you later at the air base. Goodbye Shane."
Both Oliver and Shane sat there for what seemed an eternity, neither of them wanting to move. Shane never knew how close Oliver was to her at that moment. Both their hearts were bursting with love, but Oliver's heart was as light as a feather while Shane's was as heavy as lead.
Later when they witnessed the heartfelt, loving reunion of Lieutenant Amidon and her family on the tarmac of the air base, Shane didn't even blink, stepping right into Oliver's outstretched, open arms and nestled herself in his embrace. He kissed the top of her head, not caring who could see his show of affection. He swore to himself at that moment that he'd never let her go again.
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Back in Denver, Oliver was trying his best to stay true to his decision to change his behaviour towards Shane. Now that he had heard from her own mouth that she was in love with him, what else did he need to go for it? He invited her out on a date that turned out to be an abject disaster. Then he was trapped on a mountain with his dad and nearly died. When he was rescued and learned that Shane had been instrumental in getting him out alive, he said to himself: "What am I doing? This is it! I will no longer live in limbo waiting for something to happen in my life. I will take the initiative and make things happen."
With this renewed resolution, he invited Shane out on another date. He was no longer afraid of his feelings. Instead he was steadfastly determined to let Shane know how he felt. They kissed again and it was heaven! This time they were both more cautious and controlled, as if afraid of shattering each other with their mutual passion.
As they arrived back at Shane's house, they found to their great displeasure and astonishment that Steve was waiting for them, sitting on their porch swing to take Shane away on a secret mission.
Oliver had forgotten about his oath to never let her go again. Shane would be gone for 3 long months before he'd hear anything about her again… and he'd regret it most bitterly.
