I stood, feeling completely stuck in place as Historia ran away from me after kissing my lips with her own.

I forgot for a moment that I just had an emotional breakdown and placed the knuckle of my index finger on my lips as I recalled the feeling of her lips against my own. I really didn't know what to think about the fact that she kissed me other than the fact that I liked it.

Part of me felt a tad ashamed that I did indeed like the feeling of the future Queen of Paradis lips on my own, not because she's royalty or anything silly like that, but rather it's the fact that Mikasa is rather... well I can't really think of a word to use the way she thinks about me. I wouldn't go as far as saying that she's possessive or anything as extreme as that but saying she's jealous is also a bit too mild.

I love Mikasa with all of my heart for more reasons than I can count but how exactly is it that I feel about Historia?

Historia is one of my closest friends and a girl who I've always noticed and known was gorgeous, but that's all we've been to each other, friends, she has Ymir and I have Mikasa, and my feelings for the girl I've known since I came to this crazy world were unquestionable, whenever we embrace each other, whenever we make love and every time our lips meet there's always that spark between us that makes my body feel like it's on fire in all the best ways, she's someone who I see as the girl who I'm going to spend the rest of my, extremely short, life with, nobody else compares to what I feel for her-

Except for what I felt with Historia just now. But is it really okay for me to feel this way?

When Historia held me like that after I fell down and cried like a baby it felt so intimate for some reason. And when tears spilled from her eyes like that it made something deep inside me hurt so much, I should have run after her, or told her how I felt or... something.

I should have helped her like she just helped me, the truth is that I'm just as in the dark as the rest of Paradis, I don't have knowledge about the future anymore, I don't have the full power of the Founder on me to fall back on, plus I'm on a timer. I have eight years to secure this islands future, what happens when I'm gone? What happens to my friends, to the people I love? Then there's the fact that if none of my ideas work, if nothing that I have planned will be enough then I'm going to need to rumble the world. To kill two billion people.

Sometimes I even question if I have it in me to commit such an absolutely- well there just isn't a word for how horrible what I could do actually is.

I held my head to prepare for the headache that will come with this very confusing situation that I just got involved with and what problems this could cause with my current relationships

I didn't sign up for this shit.


Historia ran inside her room and slammed the door behind her, wiping the tears away from her eyes only for them to be replaced by new ones almost immediately.

What was she thinking? Oh no, she wasn't really thinking was she? She just acted when she saw the way he looked at her.

How can she face him and Mikasa again, how can she face Ymir again?! Just the thought of what the freckled girl would think of her after learning what she did, how she actually liked kissing Eren in the same way as she liked kissing her girlfriend.

She felt so dirty in that moment, everything that she's learned today plus what's going on in her social life is simply too much, she just wants to go to bed and-

"Historia, are you alright?"

The blonde haired girl looked up to see a newly awakened Ymir who was likely sleeping peacefully before she disrupted her rest.

Ymir immediately stopped rubbing her eyes when she saw that her sweet tiny girlfriend had tears in her eyes and got out of bed as though she resting at all.

Historia tried to wipe her tears away as she failed to meet her girlfriends eyes and simply mumbled." I'm fine Ymir, you sho-"

Instead of listening to the golden haired girl make excuses to placate her own worries Ymir sat down right next to her and gave her a nice deep smooch.

This is one of the things Historia loves about Ymir, as much as she tries to act like a bitch the tanned girl can't hide her true nature from Historia, above all else Ymir is a kind girl, one who cares about Historia more than herself.

And when their lips meet she feels that same shock of electricity which seemed to make every nerve on her body feel lit, she wanted nothing more than to continue but soon the thought of what she just did flashed through her mind and the tears she just wiped away reappeared in full, she pulled her lips from the young woman she loved, feeling the sudden need to tell the truth about what she did.

Ymir was confused by her girlfriend's actions and gave a concerned look to the beautiful girl and questioned." What's wrong?" She glanced at the tears which were obscured by her blonde hair but still visible if you were looking for them.

Historia partly wanted to lie to her girlfriend. She really did. It would make life so much simpler to just forget about it, but she can't. It might just be a kiss, a spur of the moment thing which she may very well never do again, but it's more than that, she doesn't want to hide anything from Ymir, if she finds out later somehow then this thing which meant nothing will suddenly mean something.

Historia tried her best to relax and look her loves gray eyes with her own blue ones and did her best to remain calm when she uttered the words." I kissed Eren."

Historia closed her eyes for a moment and tried to shield herself from the look of betrayal that she expect from the lanky girl... only it never came.

Ymir herself felt... well less torn up about it than she ought to really. She can't say that she hates Eren herself, he's proven himself more times than she can count that he's someone she can rely on, someone who will fight for her if she chooses to stay off of Marley's side, she'd even go as far as to say that she's quite fond of him, his wild words and bold actions go nicely with the way he doesn't let his emotions sway him in uncontrollable ways.

It also doesn't hurt that he isn't half bad looking.

Historia opened her eyes in perplexion to see that instead of a gaze of hurt and betrayal Ymir... looked like she didn't really care, actually no, it's like she doesn't really mind the fact that she kissed Eren.

Ymir looked contemplative for a moment and decided that she didn't feel too bad about what her blonde girl did." You only kissed him right?"

Historia now wasn't so much scared of Ymir's reaction but rather confused that she didn't look disturbed in the least and she could have sworn that her question had a hint of teasing in it." Well yeah but-"

Ymir actually smirked a little at that." Really? Too bad, if the way Mikasa has been limping in the morning is saying anything it's that he is a pretty good lay."

Historia sputtered and blushed at that. She supposes that her girlfriend isn't wrong, Mikasa has been looking a lot happier and satisfied lately, Historia would even say that she's been kinder and more relaxed, maybe Eren really is- wait what is she thinking?!

Ymir saw the way her blonde girlfriend stuttered and flushed at the simple mention of sex and the possibility of their friends, who happen to be a very close couple, indulging in such an intimate activity and started to cackle at the reaction with her own tanned cheeks tinted slightly pink but otherwise normal." What? You didn't think they just kissed and held hands did you? Oh god you actually did! What are you a little girl?!" Ymir found the idea of her girlfriend being that embarrassed at just the suggestion of sex extremely amusing.

Historia gathered her wits as her girlfriend is laughing and feels the need to ask, in a much calmer tone of voice, what Ymir means." So your not mad about me kissing Eren?" She feels both relieved and confused at her girlfriend's words and actions. Shouldn't she be jealous? Or mad at Historia for simply following what she felt like doing in the moment and being unfaithful? Maybe a kiss just isn't a very big deal to Ymir?

When Ymir finally finished her laughing she just smiled at the blonde girl's complete overreaction to a simple kiss." Course not, but your not getting tired of me and decided to kiss someone else, right?" Though she said it in a playful way Ymir was actually a little scared that the answer would be yes.

However Historia immediately held her hands up hastily and waved them in a way that showed her disagreement." Of course not! It's just that- well..." Historia sighed at her inability to use the right words to communicate her feelings.

The girls blue eyes turn down." It's just that when we kissed it felt... good. The same as me and you. I love you a lot but... I think I also feel that way about Eren."

When those words hit Ymir's ears the tanned girls eyes widen significantly in surprise at her girlfriends words.

Historia immediately feels a wave of shame wash over her at how wrong what she was feeling really is, the idea of being in love with two people at once is disgusting and really should not be thinking that way, but it sounds nice to her, the idea of being in love with two people and being loved by two of them. It's double the love, right?

Meanwhile though Ymir was mulling over the words of the girl she loves. The idea of her actually full on loving Eren is... well not concerning for her but Ymir can't help but feel a bit of jealousy at that. Then again Eren has proven himself to be a good friend and he's kept his promise about her power remaining hidden, he's got the looks to win over most girls plus he's shown that he's willing to fight for her. He has a nice smile, he's kind to her even if she makes snide comments and he showed Historia that she could be herself.

Plus if the way Mikasa has been clinging onto him is any indication then he must be something really special to get that sort of dedication.

But does she really feel that way though? She'll admit that she likes Eren but love? That might just be a bit too strong a word.

After a solid minute Ymir finally decided to speak." How do you know? That your in love with him I mean?"

Ymir wasn't sure how to feel about this, she isn't someone who wears her heart on her sleeve like this, if anything she's a paranoid bitch that hides her heart is a locked box that she dropped to the bottom of the sea, and whilst she was open to the idea of maybe being more than friends with Eren, can she really say that she loves him?

But her insecurities were all telling her to go along with it, to not risk losing the love that her angel shows her, but another part of her brain was telling her that she didn't have to take this and yell at her to just leave her the hell alone forever, but her heart just had to chime in and say that maybe she could love Eren if she just gave him the chance, it's not like he's the worst guy to fall in love with but- aaaargh why is she in this confusing situation?!

Historia seemed hesitant to answer but elaborated none the less and met her grey eyes with seriousness." It's hard to explain, he was in a bit of a low moment and I wanted to comfort him, after he stopped crying I just didn't think and I- well I kissed him and it felt just like when me and you do it, that same weird fuzzy feeling in your chest, I just know it."

At Historia's words Ymir could see that what her girlfriend was saying was valid and that her love for Eren is as real as Historia's love for her, this made her scared of what to do next and how their relationship would change because of this.

Ymir rubbed the back of her head at this development, she just doesn't know what to do. Should she just throw caution to the wind and let Eren into their relationship or should she try and keep Historia just for herself?

She- oh dammit! She's a Titan for fucks sake, a literal monster that can crush humans like bugs but she can't decide whether she loves someone who her girlfriend is in love with on top of her!

This whole situation isn't even considering what Mikasa is going to do, the girl is downright obsessed with her boyfriend and Ymir really does not want to get on her bad side. Hell she could probably just snap Historia in half.

That thought suddenly made her much more protective.

"Historia what do you want to do? And be honest with me. If you love me and you love Eren then how can you solve this problem?"

Historia on the other hand could only really think of one solution but-

She just wasn't sure if it was even an option for her. She was meant to be Queen right? So was she even allowed to be a part of a relationship like this? Would they even allow her to be with just Ymir?

Okay now she really didn't want to be Queen at all.

But still, it's her life she gets to decide how she lives it, who she gets involved with and if this will make her happy then-

"Well I could date both of you." And Mikasa but that was even assuming that she accepts this at all and doesn't just try to murder the two of them on the spot.

In response Ymir started to laugh much to Historia's confusion. The laugh was genuine and fruitful seemingly until the girl she loved started crying and sobbing a little. The sight was enough to make Historia's stomach fall.

Ymir stopped laughing and normally she wouldn't have cried in front of her girlfriend like this, she did have an image to uphold after all, but right now she was just a ball of insecurity and uncertainty. Tears were running down her freckled cheeks." Am I just not good enough for you? Is Eren just better than me?"

Call her a brat all you want but she just doesn't love Eren that way and she doesn't feel comfortable being dragged into some massive relationship that could involve four people, two of which she isn't in love with.

It's just too much for her. At least for now.

Historia immediately feels a wave of guilt at her own actions as she came to realisation of what she just did. Her girlfriend, who was trying to comfort her when she was crying, was now crying because she had to open her big mouth and suggest something as outlandish as polygamy to her, and she clearly took it as her not being good enough for Historia.

But that isn't true at all. If anything Ymir is the one that's too good for Historia. Because no matter how how kind she tries to act she'll never be genuinely kind like Ymir is, in a sense they're complete opposites, she pretends to be kind, Ymir pretends to be a snarky, cold and spiteful bitch. But no matter what Ymir says Historia knows that she's a good person. No matter what anyone says.

Historia wraps her arms around Ymir and cried with her whilst her voice hitched a few notches higher." Don't say that Ymir, your more than enough for me! If you want me to forget about my feelings for Eren then I'll do that for you! Just forget I said anything, please."

Still though despite her words Ymir still had tears dripping down her cheeks as she cried and cried and cried with her girlfriend into the night.

Ymir found her words to honestly be a massive relief, she liked being the only person in this relationship, and maybe she wouldn't mind if she felt the same way about Eren but she just couldn't honestly say that she felt that way about him.

At least... not yet.


If you want to check out 3 chapters in advanced and 10 chapters in advance on my MHA fanfic then head over to my P atreon at The Magician 565.

Also I'm sorry if my writing has been a little terrible. I'm a newbie when it comes to writing and I've been going more for quantity than quality recently because this was just a way for me to vent my creativity. But I'd like to think that I've gotten better and so I'm going to try and make any future chapters that I post higher quality than what I've posted so far.