Chapter 8

Again this….

I'm Tired. No more of this. Yet THEY force me. Find it fun making me go through this. All of this, Hell.

So be it, fuck it, screw it, butcher it, I… no… WE will give what they deserve, they want fun? They find worship in war? Deaths en mass? So be it.

Again, an Orphaned Girl, again in a Religious Orphanage, but a messed, distorted one, corrupt one. I let it won't change a thing.

….

I grew, and with it my plan went along, kept in the deepest, most hidden corner of OUR mind.

War was coming, fine, I know how shit THEY like to make my odds, no matter.

….

One challenge after another, these fights start and end unceremoniously, one Enemy after another, one step of the plan after another. Pious and never misguided in my belief, my Peers of this shit I play along say. Out goes a higher up, in I come in their place.

Rinse

And

Repeat

In no Time I got where I wanted. Cushy position, no more Bloody combat, just getting rid of any Wannabe usurper and their pawns….

WE can start it in full.

Fan this worship!

Fan this fire!

Make all these lambs believe in the cause!

And others? They're Misguided! They NEED to be enlightened!

And It they SHALL DO!

Shed these Lamb skins! Become the Shepperd Dogs! Guide those Lost lambs back to the true path!

A BLOODY, WAR TORN ONE.

Soon this Cult sparked a whole War in this Continent.

Me? Already forgotten it. Because I am going for part 2.

I hum, it's nothing, just a fictitious song, one so Alien it warped the path I walked while humming it. Nobody's land, a land even so-called gods avoid, lest they die and are forgotten there.

New Place, new Cult.

RINSE

AND

REPEAT

….

….

Soon there's not one corner in this Blasted world not at a full war, Endless war, never to stop, never to stop making more worship.

NEVER TO STOP OBLITERATING WORSHIPPERS.

Lastly, one little group, one little belief.

Done, Bloody hands, but done.

And I watch it.

All burn to cinders.

Freeze till it all shatters.

Melt in the Acidic Rivers.

A god worship? Dead.

A Demon's? No more.

A fucking hero? I Bullied it till it ran into a truck-kun.

No more.

No more worship.

No more Heroes, Villains or even fucking Deconstructions of them.

AH! I see it now!

Light is dimming.

THEIR touch here fading!

AMEN!

But oh well, we aren't done until we arrive at the destination in full. And there's PLENTY of wannabe Saviors or Evil doers whose plans are in Jeopardy because of me.

OH no, a Plucky hero? Again? Break their Body, Spirit, until it's nothing but a set of husky former Hero carcasses of each.

Oh? The friendly Mahou Shoujo? Let me introduce her to my friends, Lead, Steel, and No holds barred Beatdowns even if I razed that damned be Frilly dress to ashes and I am treating her to a Masochist exhibitionist's wettest dream.

The Isekai guy? Hello Isekai person, meet the 24 wheeler supercargo Truck-Kun's big chad brother, and under it's huge ass slicky wheels you go, hope the I-Isekai trip is nice, as a bloody smear on the floor.

So some "Evil Mahou Shoujo" have come? Let me show true evil! A full 90000000000000 hour long Power point presentation on why you bitches suck ass, are lame as fuck and deserve this presentation in the lamest Power point structure ever made by intelligent lifeforms.

Then come the Degenerate Evil Mahou Shoujo. What was done to them was so Degenerate, terrible, inhumane and Bad enough that even the Darkest corners of the Deep Web or a Communist Deranged Politician's closet would look squeaky clean by comparison. Before their final demise, there's no more degenerate Evil Mahou shoujo, but followers of the stay dead association.

All kinds came to try me, beat me, stop me….

None succeeded.

The World continued to Burn, Freeze and Melt. Resources were drained, Lives thrown by the Millions to the maws of this razing. Hope? Done for. Despair? Even the Despair fetishist that came to try beat me was now a hollow mess with nor even despair anymore. This World soon would have nothing. Even if someone made machines to run on Blood, that was severely lacking. Hell? I Personally raided that hole and emptied it completely, actually I DELETED that place, ditto for Heaven and Purgatory.

And now? No prayers, no Worship, NOTHING.

AND

IT'S

COMPLETE.

Just in time even.

Come Hero, the last one. I see no Powers, no Blessings or curses. Nothing, just a random person, void eyes, just perfect. OUR job is done, OUR plan achieved….. so now…. WE DIE….

….

….

[3, 2, 1, CHARGE!]

I wake up, coughing and trying to regain my breath. FUCK. My heart hurts, my head is hurting like mad, MY WHOLE BODY is hurting like crazy. Kaiserin? She's holding me, of course. Ugh, I inhale a deep breath, then exhale, rinse and-

My stomach hurts, and I want to PUKE REALLY BAD now of all things. Kaiserin just offers me a Grail from Mike knows where she got it, whatever, I really need to get whatever shit my body wants out and I have a shitty gut feeling about what is it. I just put my mouth into the extra large Mouth of said Grail and let whatever I am puking go.

Inside the Grail, Greater Grail area

Angra Jimmynyu, the Powerlesness of all Jimmies against Degurechaff is drowned in a World filling Flood of Degurechaff's Mud of Bitch X hatred. He never was able to get back to his Original skin color nor clothing, Cursed to be always only wearing a Mud sullied Toga and Looking Like a certain Kanatian Politician that once Painted his face Black and became a Derogatory meme as result.

Back to the World….

It took a Good hour, but I puked all of whatever shit my body was rejecting. THIS was bad, today marks a Month since those awful Migraine Inducing Nightmares have been happening, and this was the worst I came to be once I woke from it. No surprises, Kaiserin looks at me with Worry, and… Grief?

"Tanya…."

"I…. know, WE need to talk. It's just…. No, Fine, Open tomorrow's schedule."

One glance into my inner self and I have to do it, no, WE need it, BADLY.

Both the GIRL and SALRYMAN are shaken, it felt, HORRIBLE, yet so liberating…. Was it to THAT level of bad? The very last Life, the one I, WE went to those depths….. FUCK, the memory is already hitting with those headaches. Sleep doesn't even feel nice, My Adjutant just get by OUR side, and get our head to rest on her shoulder. Haaah, why are WE even here? Just…. Why?

Still in Berun, Today's entire schedule is meeting someone Mike wants us to, someone better than him to talk with US. The House was modest and Humble, yet the entire Place had soundproofing, anti prying Wards and Bounded fields and even a Magic Jammer field. So the modest Look was only aesthetic if anything. The room was a simple Meeting room kind of place, there, a Man, stout looking but a really relaxed and serene face, no smiles however. A Dark Red hair, bit on the Earthly red than pure red, but still more red than that.

"Tanya, This is Macenas, for better or worse, my father and a Specialist of unmatched skills in Psychological fields."

"Wunderbar, so my psychiatrist is your damn Father? What next? Suggest I go make some Breast implant surgery on your Uncle?"

He makes a short and soft laugh.

"Uncle's specialty isn't that, but my Prodigal son can do something better than fake Boobs if you-"

"Shut up, I was JOKING."

The GIRL however was more than interested in having a more womanly Body, Fuck no, Some extra height maybe, but these modest C cups are just fine. And no, ME and SALARYMAN aren't changing ideas because you're Pouting, GIRL.

Me and my Psychiatrist for the day shake hands, Mike leaves the Building, a full covert escort team is however surrounding the whole block, sewers and even airspace, talk about Overkill security. He invites me to take a seat, a comfy Single seat Sofa, he sits in the other one, takes some Candy, offers some, I politely decline, and after a few Minutes of setting the Mood like that, we begin.

"For Starters, can… I speak with EACH of YOU?"

Macenas POV

Hesitation, not from the one in command, the SOLDIER was open for such, but the others… seemingly not as open.

"F-fine."

Minor, but there's clear a more Naivety to the voice, the mannerism don't change as much, but her tension and anxiety are clear, fidgety hands, never fixed gaze…. The GIRL has been so little in control and direct feeling the Outside of her own Body it's almost as if a Hikkikomori was first seeing and touching Grass in years.

"Alright, I have read the data and gotten enough from my Shit eating smile son, so let's us get to the Meat of things. What's YOUR opinion on your…. Current Life?"

Tension, Stress, a Discomfort. It's not a Rebellious phase or some Ill temperament, rather. Maybe it's the Moodiness of Depression. They all seem to have some of it.

"It's…. complete useless nonsense."

"Go on."

"First we already DIED once in this world, and then we are put back here? After basically a WHOLE century after OUR Original death here? And what reason? Because letting us Disappear for good was a bad thing, and somehow the sole half assed Solution is KEEPING US STUCK AS ONE FOR GOOD? I WANT MY OWN LIFE! FOR FUCKS SAKE."

Not a surprising view. Of the Three, it can be argued she was given the worst of all their Lifes as ONE.

"It's Understandable. From start to end of this mess, you never got your own Life, so I can agree the current arrangement is… less than agreeable. On this, is there something you find "Missing" or "Lacking" in this Life free of any BS from Being X?"

"I, I…. feel empty."

"Elaborate Please."

Tension, no, a long held back Issue. Maybe there's something to draw from.

"It's…. just… that NOTHING has been feeling truly good. The sweets are nice, Flying is always nice…. But it's like…. Nothing really fills a needy hole in ME. Not the Hobbies, not the food, and even the Flying as a Mage."

Pent up frustration, she tries, but the GIRL isn't the Emotion expert, a few tears escape.

"Then, Before this Life, HOW you felt when that Hole was filled?"

"Happy…. Fulfilled…. Like I did something that made me proud."

"Hm, right, I see. That's all for now. Can I talk to the SALARYMAN?"

A Shift in pose, professional, steady, Business. Yet that is a shell, a mask. A role HE came to feel at home as.

"Now, as for YOU, has such an arrangement been…. To your acceptance?"

A tick, readjusting the imaginary glasses, the sharp gaze those eye shouldn't be even able of making make clear, not much honestly.

"Honestly? No. Like the GIRL, I'd have preferred having a life I make my own fate instead of having to share it."

A grumpy sigh.

"If you could make one change to the ongoing arrangement, without breaking it of course, what would YOU want?"

Silence, Analytical, thinking through every choice he would make, to HIS benefit mostly.

"Haaah…. Sadly nothing…. It's grown to be as good I could ever want."

Hm.

"Sure. Then. What's your take of who you share the fate with?"

A faint, honest smile. Bingo.

"Both are… pretty understandable and reasonable, and we all agree we have each our share of rather embarrassing things we rather keep private. I can't really complain much of them, After all, my worst grievances are all what WE share in common."

"An example please."

"Ok…. It's…. annoying…. But High Thrill Flights as a Mage."

"Right. Lastly, the SOLDIER."

And back to her Usual self, she's been after all, the one mostly in charge their entire Lifetimes on each Instance.

"What nowadays is bothering you the MOST?"

Deep breaths, and Lost in Thought. We both wait. Minutes in and she settles her decision.

"OURSELF."

"Right, right…. Continue."

Unease, Stress and most of all, some deep kept Self-Grieving thing.

"So, WE WANTED OUT. Yet we had to be DENIED such….. I am tired, THEY are Tired as well. Nothing feels nice anymore. This is a period WE have no one we knew to be of worth trusting to US. It's…. something WE see NO REASON to keep going… not anymore… not after THAT last time…."

"After that second Life, was there ANYTHING worth trust or going forward?"

"There was… for a few Lifetimes…. But past a certain point? Nothing."

"Anything YOU consider worth the time here?"

Pose change, uneasy, and insecurity.

"Y-yes. SO much….. WE built, protected and left…. That needs repairs, Protecting and more…. But… I just can't. Not anymore. I AM TIRED."

"But you know WHY they can't let you all Rest, not the way you want."

"Yes…. This damp, mucky feeling…. WHY can't they just LET US CEASE? This feels just like leaving us in a Sandbox as the half assed apology….."

Onwards, always onwards. The talk goes. And the fact is clear.

SOLDIER is tired, she sees no reason to remain.

SALARYMAN has come to terms, Inertial Terms, but still he has accepted things as they are for now.

CHILD Both wants her own Life, but has grown attached to the others, and is also unsure, she can't see her own Path, can't think of one.

Well, none can have what those Broken and Shattered Souls want, but still, they all see one thing, yet are unconsciously unable to accept. Maybe their Boat will need some shaking, and This is Germania, not Akitsushima.

"Alright, I got enough, I can see HOW badly troubled you all are, and the Hole has you Three, some Perspective change may be necessary. This will require my Son to handle, so let's go?"

THEY nod and stand up.

Tanya POV

WE follow Macenas out the room, and into the Living room turned reception area, if the fact Mike and what Looks a Full Day's worth of customers, or Mike's children, whatever fits the bill more, present. One exchange of looks and Mike takes off to talk between us three. Only.

"Fraulein! Has My Psychiatrist dad made you feel better?"

"Vented, yes. With a Solution? Not Yet."

"Ahem…. I know you have a good idea already Mike, so I will make it simple. I suggest add another one inside her."

….

Did

Did he just…

SALARYMAN just does a 'yup'

"You want to WHAT?"

"You three have been like that for more than enough Lifetimes for a consensus among you all to be formed, worse than that only a 2020s US Hollywook Circle jerking Party of what once was called the Oscars awards. Putting someone else isn't going to be the end of the world. AT very Least this idiot I put in the world won't go putting some random Bozo."

"Ouch. That hurts me dad. But yeah…. I have…. Someone in mind already, she's pretty much a nice fit for your little group in there."

"Who?"

"Who if not the King of Knights? The Lancer slash Rider version at least. She is a nice fit, Partial Goddesshood, Is a Blonde, A fighter to her core, keen learner…. A Gourmand…. And honestly she has enough of similar and also different that your house won't be rattled, nor will you find her Opinions lacking or outright being more of your three idea wise."

"So you just want to summon a fucking Albish legend and shove her inside?"

"About that…. There's a Solution that had just arrived."

Macenas just puts his left hand on my shoulder and reassures me.

"It's better than staying as you are. At least you will have Snookered the Albish again."

"Oh wow, Thanks for reminding us that we will be hosting THEIR biggest legend here…. Wooohoo, yeah….. Suck it you Tea suckers! Fuck me….. but fuck them more."

It can't be THAT BAD, right?

Back to that room, have they began a party? There's bottles of Brandy, Whiskey, is that a bottle of homebrew US Moonshine? What?

"Ohh boy, she's rilled them? Ha ha ha! Never the Nun type, honestly!"

Nun? What he's talking about? Suddenly, as he's whacking and whipping his kids to shape, a Golden tuff of hair I, WE, REALLY wouldn't mistake for anyone else.

"S-sister Frauke?"

That gets her attention, knew it. Golden blonde short hair, a bit longer but she's tying it on a Ponytail, reminds me of my Imperial Army times. And those ever so Emerald Green eyes.

"Hello…. Degurechaff."

"Yes, Hello…. Frauke…"

The Silence between us is odd. Embarrassingly so.

"Hello Hello. Both of you, must be weird, right?"

We both nod.

"For Tanya here, Frauke, or more truthfully, Sir Mordred of Camelot's Round table knights, not a Servant but not a pure Living being either, she's been hitchhiking the world ever since you deceased a little over 100 years ago."

"I see…."

:For Mo-Chan, Tanya von Degurechaff, or rather, what came out from being fucked in the ass over so many messed Reincarnations. After some repairs and whatnot, that is."

"Excuse me?"

Really, there's always some weird bit of information about my situation he ONLY tells at some of the weirdest moments.

"Nothing much, Just making sure your going Nuclear 0 Fucks given didn't leave serious scars…. Aside your current Soul case that is."

"Oh, great. TELL ME ALL OF IT LATER, understood?"

The most annoying Smile ever, Wunderbar. He quickly returns us to the Topic.

"Mordred, It happens perchance, but you have anything against… Your Father being put inside her?"

She sighs. Probably he had spoken to her beforehand, not about this, but just as annoying.

"You asking me? What reason honestly?"

"It won't be a house of Three, but of four, and Dear Artoria will be the Aunt now."

"Really? What next? You going to one day put Mommy Raikou there as well to be the Grandma?"

"Hmmm…. That's a nic-"

"You going to make US a fucking LODGING HOUSE OR WHAT?"

Mike Shrugs and shelves the idea, for now.

"For now just your Dear Father, not the Excalibur father, Rhongomnyad Father."

A small Aneurysm from Mordred later, and she's back to the world of sanity, reason and Mike's persistence in making people go mad.

"Alright, Well Tanya, consider me aboard."

"In me?"

"No, I need a place to stay for a while, and since Mr. Smiley mc shitbag here wants to keep both My Father's spirit in you along one of Camelot's most valuable weapons, consider employing me the price."

"Uhhh…. Sure? What you're good at even?"

"Kicking ass, I WAS A DAMNED KNIGHT OF THE ROUNDS, Lass, what else would I be good at?"

"Taking care of kids? You did a nice job back then."

"Ha ha… funny you little gremlim, as if dislodging the brats you plastered in the Floors or walls was taking care."

We share a Laugh, quite the shameful memory, but it's that or not having my pitiful piece of K-Brot for lunch those times. Still, she was never really a prim and proper sister of that church, still, did a damn nice job keeping things as quiet they went back then.

"Fine. I doubt I will be needing a Pseudo Servant grade firepower for my Army or Security, but so long you can keep up with the Chancellery house duties, consider it done."

"yeah, yeah, just don't ask me to handle papers, unless it's to Burn them."

With this whole thing done, Mike drags me to ready US to our newest member inside this Body and Fate.