One death is a Tragedy, a Million is a Statistic. Morbid but true in many ways, Humans are by nature social creatures, but our biological limits demanded our Brain evolve in specific ways, one of which is in truth an actually beneficial limitation. Studies did prove, a person can AT BEST, keep little over 20 different people as part of their true social circles, anything else then quickly comes into decreasing levels of actual care by them.
That phrase in a sense, puts in the crudest terms how we as people end treating a single death as a Tragedy, yet just feel some token indignation at some Terrorist attack that killed Thousands. Or how we ARE manipulated by Media or Politicians through such methods. My Career as Chancellor and then President had plenty of examples of making use of similar principles.
Why then is this important? The fact something in US has shifted, Sister Mika's death hurt US a lot, even if we did revive her in the most roundabout way soon after, it still affected US, and the thing putting some questions in OUR minds now is different. Germania, and even more OZEV, are comprised of DOZENS of MILLIONS, something that should by all accounts push those two clearly into a Statistical area of OUR empathic minds.
Yet the hypotheticals in what simulations WE FOUR run regarding potential cases of more Suicidal Frogs, more Albish treachery, or even drastic disasters like the Asian Federation Magician case. All of those… brought some oddly overprotective desires from ALL OF US. There's a strong singularization of these two, the Church also has been growing into a similar case.
On further self reflection… WE can complain all we want, that this adoration for me is the me doing the role of Chancellor, then Holy Kaiserin, and now of the DEITY version Holy Kaiserin. Try to rationalize all done by us as merely Work and part of the job or role. WE could try any excuse…. But truth be told WE DID put all OUR effort even behind such "Masks", and to a personal level, WE LOVE our homeland and the citizens who benefit of our hard work.
But for a while, we have been feeling a strange alien feel to our OWN memories on some parts. A sense it's not been US who achieved them.
"Impostor syndrome? Just great…. Onto another lengthy talk with him…"
To think WE of all people would suddenly become so prone to self deprecation that our whole career suddenly feels NOT OURS. Yet deeply inside, WE know, and so much more… Better get such issues done than wait, WE'RE already a rather disastrous mountain of mental issues, last that should happen is more popping up.
Macenas "Office", Berun
Coming here outside the weekly Visits is a first, and from a Japanese, a Natural Born Soldier, a Girl from the early 20th century and the King of Knights, there's ZERO in all OUR combined experiences, coming to a Psych expert of one's own volition was pretty much a suicidal act. From societal taboos to the sheer horror that procedures of the era had available, Mental help was a very bottom level thing to be sought after by US.
"Hello, seems somethings is bothering you all, enough to hinder you, Tanya…"
"Yes, some sense that maybe there's been a growing sense of a disparity between US and our track records."
Me and my dear Psychiatrist go to the Office, sitting in the Sofa like always, there's this ever-present sense of unease, tension, for now, just let it be.
"So, what exactly has been this discrepancy?"
"In simpler terms… WE have been having a feeling that what WE did as Tanya, HERO of the Empire, Tanya, the Chancellor and so forth… aren't US, and a weird feeling that what had been achieved isn't US per see, but someone we created on that moment."
"So you all have been feeling that whatever was achieved as each facet of your life as Tanya aren't PART of Tanya herself, but fakes you acted as?"
"Most likely."
He makes some notes, and then gets back.
"Let's try making a chronological track, and the start is… Your Brief Orphanage time."
Those times, eh? Not the most bright or superb ones of OUR life here of then.
"It's a disconnect of what WE did, choose, planned, and analyzed. Honestly, Tanya in those days WAS a weirdo, anti-social, in a slump…. Yet very protective of that little food that sustained the body…. In short… our intrusion on the GIRL'S life makes those years feel more like an intruder at her own life than as Tanya per see."
"Three souls with strong rights to control the body caused this could have been the core issue, again, I'm NOT knowledgeable on such aspects. But those times feel disconnected BECAUSE you three were not yet at a degree of harmony. This one is likely a normal result of your unique circumstances."
So next would be….
Doing this was him just feedbacking WHEN a probable cause of the moment may have birthed a disruption, but oddly, a lot of the Great war and even OUR early years in the GWP, he kept quiet. Until the Second Londinium treaty.
"Receiving that the Triano Treaty was in effect ripped apart, replaced by concessions WE as Chancellor of Germania agreed to for the Albish and Americans… it had NEVER been OUR aim fully demolishing it, welcome, but the result no matter what, only seems to have been done by OTHERS. There's NOTHING WE had done to bring such a result. Yet it happened."
'Tanya…"
"Yes?"
"Let's get you to self-reflect. You're THE BEST MAGE until your death, Proved a skilled Politician, crafty manipulator, an innovator…. Try to assess your Profile on what competencies you showed and try to see WHAT that means to people NOT aware of your… unique mindset for those times."
"Ah yes… wunderkind and savior of the fatherland… something related to OUR issue?"
"Hmmm… don't know yet, let's continue."
…
It was a lengthy process, nailing every mark WE considered have some weight for this session. Still, it helps having someone present outside this mind and body, in a sense, there's a kind of weight that probably assists one's own self assertion and mental introspection to slowly build or find details one may never notice doing what they grew used to when doing a self analysis.
"And when the 1984 New Amstreldam trials, honestly it had been just a last fuck off to the Albion Kingdom and Francois Republic after all their constant fucking shit worldwide with incompetence, perfidiousness, or emotion drive stupidity. The end result was those two along the CSR as discredited losers in the international scene and people believing this was my magnum opus… that WE outmaneuvered everyone over two decades to demolish OZEV's biggest threats of then."
"You saying this had been an accidental success all along?"
"WE just pushed those Trials, Elya and her successor in the making, Elyna, were the ones who made a breadcrumb trail to guide people into connecting all WE did until that point as such. Nothing done by US, never, ever, for this case itself…. WE believe."
He notes some more, today's been one he did a lot of that, is it worrisome?
"You think there's something more?"
"No, not that WE here can remember."
"Then let me be straight, haven't you four in there sensed… something amiss with those?"
Amiss? Focusing on each case we put on today's list… there's something, those memories are as hazy as ever, yet there's some clear parts…. Yet looking at what we compiled for him…. Why's there's a feeling of such a disconnect over those events?
"There's something wrong, but it slips US all the time, yet the closest we can make of it is that those memories feel… disconnected from being US having done or taken part in them."
"Ok, now, what you FOUR in there KNOW about your situation?"
"Damaged souls…. WE can only remain merged…. Damage… to our memories?"
He nods once, then gets into his usual "work" mode.
"If you consider each memory you pulled as having a disconnect of being YOUR doing. What you glean from each if you take EACH of your individual aspects?"
"They only fit one of US that had been there…"
"Not my expertise, again for reminders sake, but damage on the kind of you three in there is like Glass, once it shatters, impossible three Glass panels will shatter in THE SAME way, right? The disconnect is likely that those cases are one or two of YOU three can recall it, but the others had it in a damaged part of your souls. The disconnect is possibly that, the solution…. Is probably hope your souls heal."
"So this crap disconnect will persist until the three of us heal? What next? Ask for us to trust some kind of 'Kotomine Thaumaturgic healing' Magicraft?"
He shrugs, guess the issue is that handling these kinds of issues when mixed with something as vague as "What's a Soul", say goodbye to normal procedures and common sense. Bet even damned Priests and those so once popular ghost hunter show guys will shit their pants at the mere idea you have to find a SENSIBLE treatment to a body and mind with FOUR souls packed inside, while knowing that person can easily rival the DEADLIEST WMDs ever made.
"Well, thanks I guess."
"For now, maybe just consider your past as yours, nothing inside your memories would possibly be fake."
For now, this issue has to be considered 'dealt with', so I give my farewells and walk back with Kaiserin. The return trip was uneventful, Spring was in full effect, Cozy climate and a livelier Berun, Economy isn't exactly what one can say in shape, but has become stable and trusted enough that the citizens are indeed starting to take a more active part in it.
"Jobs… National and Foreign Policy… what else needs a review… ah, Military… hope for fucks sake the IFV issues have been ironed out for good."
Walking like this seems odd for any person with the level of importance as me and my Adjutant, security is covering us discretely of course, but I doubt someone will NOT TRY something on us without some degree of firepower that will endanger innocent people's lives, that's just how terrific we two are. And the less we need to worry about our own security fumbling too close to us, the more likely we can both ensure our safety as well as these beloved Citizens.
"Lovely, all these people, and their national mother is a self-deprecating person with three broken souls…."
"But you won't slack on them, right?"
Hard to EVER be at ease with her close to me, which is always unless someone at the level of Mike she trusts is available to be close to me, and much less in Bed or baths nowadays. But she's right…. There's something WE are very willing to work hard for, and it just so happens to be an awful huge ass Super Bloc of the Europan Hegemon itself. Once at home, a face I haven't seen in a long while.
"Stahl 1, what news you bring this time?"
"The Afrikan issue has been solved. And movement of some assets of the WEF have been… suspicious."
"How bad?"
"The Francois new Policy has been set, classical Anti-OZEV. And hushed talks have begun around the Western part of Europa, Albion included."
So the next attack is… making a West EU? Damn tame, but the prospects seem clear, two Major Economic blocs, both Nuclear armed, but OZEV would be surrounded by Three Nuclear powers, Great War 5.0 it is, or so they plan to do.
"How's the situation outside these known problem idiots?"
"Aegyptus, both the Public and Government as a whole, are itching for an alliance, but seems their aim is replacing the Persian alliance in the grand scheme. All immediate non Europan parties could be appeased with some trades."
"The gate to the black channel, huh? Guess some arms trades would be necessary on them…. How're things in the Formosa situation?"
At that he pulls a letter, sealed in high quality Wax, with the official emblem of that island's government.
"Fully willing, to most there, being friends with your Nation has been a better deal than how things are with the ongoing constant disputes between the Akitsushiman Magician led government and the CSR levels of bad Asian Federation."
"It will require me to make a damn trip there… What of the Magian Company?"
"Bharat and Persian alliance both kicked them out, Akitsushima has been way too cold towards you, so… for now they've resettled in an Offshore facility near Seychelles."
Enough to threaten a Naval path through there… if the situation was as normal… but for now, I will see to what can be done without using trump cards left and right. I had Mike set a date for a Visit and keep going in at fighting those idiots that think armchair leading of the world is even possible without dooming everyone. Last of this workday was Anya's reports.
"Holy Kaiserin, Dr. Zimmerit has given his report, Scale models at the quality level you requested can be done at a rate of 15 a month, but that's if he only worked on that. Optimal is 3 or 4."
"Tell him he can proceed then, have him deliver the listed items in the priority order."
While by no means I wanted such ridiculous kind of craziness to become the mainstay of our forces, the current situation is as bad as always. I AM a damn magnet for such irrational hatred, huh? If they want to be assholes, don't cry when I do some of my own.
"Chris reports that the SS station has readjusted it's orbit to cover Magian company's newest location, Orbit seems to give a heavy angle of striking OZEV as well."
"Right, Get Brazillia to boost her resources, Stahl 1 is paying after all. And her Vacation request?"
"Date is from a day ago, and is nothing exceptional, only a stay at Berun."
"Greenlight it, Tell Stahl 1 or 2 to send a temporary commander in secrecy during her stay in here."
The rest were usual reports and loads of papers asking my input, and finally our IFVs would enter Production for scale tests, a quick one since it seems all Factory born issues in the design have been solved, so now, only Manufacturing problems such as improperly calibrated machines would pop. AH, hard, endless work. I needed to stretch some Office work muscles a bit. Amen.
"Anya, how's the rest of OZEV been?"
"As a whole, fine, want me to grab in detail reports?"
"Please, do that."
A new salvo of Military exercises were coming for the bloc, BND reports on Lothiern, Legadonia and Alsace-Lorraine tell that their Army upgrades and retraining have yielded great results, for now. Legadonia has always been a bit of a goofball of Europa, so I can expect some issues in Command structures to be present. The Ildoa was a bit of a low end as well, but I heard their Mountain Shock troopers and the Navy have been getting some heavy reinforcing.
Naval wise, the Mediterranean has become the home of the once great Germanian South Fleet, the Albish 1984 punishments kicked them out of there, and also, they had been forced to surrender control of the Gibaltra channel, since the Suez had become Aegyptian. Magma Rumelia and turkeministan have taken full control of the Black channel mouth channel as well as the nearby Dock Island once owned by the Royal Navy Fleet.
She came back quickly, it seems most data on our Economy did involve the hefty mutual Trades all members of this lovely Bloc make among each other, so only Military and Policy remained. I start with the Military. Perusing these boring and uneventful papers, there's one thing that I REALLY didn't think would somehow happen….
"Anya, is this Report on Ildoa right?"
She looks at it and a cheerful smile comes.
"WHY YES! Ildoa's shiyards were MORE THAN HAPPY to help on such important work of the utmost priority!"
"I remember clearly I told the Navy that the KMS Kaiserin II would ONLY BEGING CONSTRUCTION once ALL the ongoing projects for them had been completed."
"Yes, Holy Kaiserin, but that's the RM Sankt Kaiserin, Ildoa purchased a License to MAKE a SK class Carrier for themselves, but they admitted lacking the Budget to keep such a magnanimous Ship operational only AFTER they began it, so Our Navy was kind enough to BUY it off them and rename it once completed!"
"So Germania's Navy fucking used a Loophole to get it sooner?"
"Yes."
Oh great….. wait…
"Ildoa's hasn't received the tech for KMS AI cores, so how-"
"RM Sankt Kaiserin won't have one when they complete it, As soon she is transferred and renamed, a KMS AI unit will be installed post haste."
For one I can only be proud my own forces have LEARNED how to fucking Loophole abuse the shit out anything, on another….
"WHEN is she being completed?"
"By October if nothing happens."
Work after that was barely comforting, yet Kaiserin decided she rather force herself on me than allow me to become a mopping slob wearing a pink sports jacket and become Tanya the Rock.
