Prompt XVIII: Guidance
Atem looked up from his fish with a bewildered expression. Yugi came rushing forward, pouncing toward him with a single fish in his jaws. He had grabbed it from his own pile and had been tossing it about in the air minutes before. He paused in front of him, nearly dropped it, panted, and then circled twice before plopping down inches from him. Atem tilted his head, staring uncertainly, and paused chewing as he searched his face.
"I would ask if something was wrong, but I can't imagine even you would be so enthusiastic as to throw your food around and chase it should there be."
Yugi blinked and grinned at him, entire body trembling. "Everything is amazing!" he laughed, swallowing up the fish and then darting back to his pile. Atem watched with surprise as he grabbed a huge mouthful and raced back over. He deposited them and dropped to his belly again.
Atem blinked. Had he simply meant to move over to his side? He glanced away guiltily. He'd overlooked the distance between them when he'd deposited the two piles. Yugi hadn't seem upset initially, but clearly he had to have been if he'd made a show of coming over to be in front of him now, right?
"Sorry."
Yugi blinked. "For what?" he asked, startled and incredulous. "What are you apologizing for?"
Atem hesitated, opened his mouth, then slowly closed it again. He wasn't sure he wanted to answer that question, so he stopped short and turned away again. He dug into the next fish nearest him, chewing it delicately to make a point of stalling. Yugi stared at him for a long moment, then gulped down a fish from his pile. His eyes were glittering like gems when he looked at Atem again.
"I just decided I'd rather be closer to you during breakfast," he announced. He smiled wider and flexed his claws as if he might jump to his paws and rush over to lick him as he had the last few days. Atem tilted his head and considered him curiously. "I can move though?"
"No, it's fine. I just… I didn't think about it when I placed them like that." He hadn't even considered it. For some reason he'd expected Yugi to want more space to eat on his own, because Fire and Wind Dragons both tended to be somewhat aggressive when it came to food. Thankfully Timaeus had never so much as growled or given him dirty looks when he's snuck over and eaten part of his food, but he always knew those two species to be. And Yugi was a cross of both, no matter if he was so sweet and gentle.
They'd shared food on one occasion, Yugi eating from one side and Atem at the other. And somehow he still sometimes placed their food apart to give him room, some part of him subconsciously worried Yugi might lash out and snap.
It was stupid in hindsight, but he always wondered what would send Yugi over the edge with his instincts.
"You're looking at me like you expect me to bite you."
Atem blinked. "Am I?" he whispered, startled and mortified. "Sorry. I… Sorry."
Yugi tilted his head and looked away after a moment, swallowing another fish before turning back. "You know, I… Uh, I didn't mean to growl at you a while back…w-when I got hungry? I was so excited to spend time with you and it just…went over my head how much my mood sometimes changes when I'm hungry."
"It's not… I…" Atem looked away and shuffled one of his fish aside with his paw, considering its brilliant scales as if it might somehow offer an answer. "It's nothing to do with that. I…I just keep expecting negatively of you."
"Negatively of…?" Yugi laughed. "Oh, yeah, because of your other suitors. I know what you're saying. Sorry. I just kind of forgot for a second."
Atem shook his head. "It's not…fair of me to do that to you."
"Maybe not, but it's not as if you act out whenever you have those moments."
"Moments?" he scoffed. "You're giving me a lot of credit in assuming it's not constant, Yugi."
"I know it's not. You don't look at me like you're scared or wary often," Yugi said more insistently, shaking his head. "And, even if you did, you honored the challenge and here I am. So if you thought of it more often, you'd likely turn violent just because of how scared you are of what your suitors used to promise you."
Atem hissed softly. "And how do you know I don't just keep you nearby so I can watch you? What if I do this so that I have reason to strike you down when you act out?"
Yugi considered him, then rose to his paws. He stared intently for a moment, shook himself out, and yawned as he took a seat. He scratched the bottom of his jaw and snickered. "You didn't even flinch," he laughed. "If you'd been seriously watching me, you would have been tense and ready to leap at me for standing up like that."
Atem grunted.
"Besides, I remember how you were when you were younger." Atem bristled and narrowed his gaze, studying him. Yugi smiled warmly. "I still remember watching you catch fish and then release them again by their tails, Atem. You can fool a lot of other dragons, but not me. I know you're not malicious at your core."
He growled softly. "And what makes you think it hasn't changed with age?" he snapped. "Honoring my challenge and consummating with you doesn't mean my paws aren't bloody and my land isn't littered with bodies."
Yugi snorted and shook his head. "Atem, really?" he laughed after a moment. He smiled and considered him with a warm look. "I…I used you as my north star when I was growing up."
He bristled before he could stop himself, almost snarling with distress.
"If I went into a situation where I thought I might need help or guidance or anything really, I would think about you. I'd consider what you would do, how you'd do it. Sometimes there was no avoiding killing, but it was necessary so it seemed justified the few times it happened. But if it was avoidable, you were the voice in my head to give me advice or instruct me not to overdo it."
Atem shifted his weight and lashed his tail. "Why?"
"Why what? Why you?" Yugi asked, voice dipping with momentary frustration before he looked away and back. He seemed agonized when they locked eyes again. "Atem, I love you. You know that—or at least you let me say it. Either way, I think the world of you, even if you doubt that. So why wouldn't I have used you as my northern star?"
He watched him a moment, lowered his eyes to the fish, and bristled as he got to his paws. "Maybe you should have sought someone better," he snapped, turning and wandering off toward the trees. He half expected Yugi to follow, but heard only the softest of sighs and a quiet whisper of "Oh, Atem".
