Hi, so here is another Chicago PD story and I am so excited to bring you thins one, this one takes me to a world post Erin, to Season 5 and this is a new thing for me so I hope that you enjoy. Also this delves a little into the Al/Adam relationship that I have enjoyed so much and like the Jay/Hank relationship is often ignored.

This story takes place around the break that happened in Season 5 when Adam's duel role was discovered, I can confirm that Hank and Al are not the enemies in this story. I think we all know who the enemy in Season 5 was.

This story does deal with upsetting themes including murder, rape and child abuse and PTSD flashbacks. If this TRIGGERS YOU THEN PLEASE STOP NOW!.

Pairings are as follows, Kim/Adam, Hailey/Jay, Will/Conner (briefly) and Al/Meredith.

Just to confirm that Lexie is dead in this story as well.

Disclaimer-Nothing here but Vicky is mine.

This story is AU as well but does stretch over Season 5 and Season 5 alone.

Please Read and Review and I will update as soon as I can.

And on a side note, I like so many other Fanfiction Authors no longer receive notifications via email about reviews/PMs etc. So if you do send any it might be a while, if ever before I get back to you. Please keep that in mind for it is not intentional-If anyone has a fix please let me know.

I have also stopped taking any kind of personal messages, any questions please leave them in a review and I will get back to them in the next chapter note. This chapter should be about twenty-twenty five chapters.

AND TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER AND DISCUSSION OF RAPE. PLEASE KEEP THAT IN MIND.

Also I don't hate Bob Ruzek I am just indifferent to him. And there is so much uncovered layers to the Voight/Al/Bob Ruzek thing that the writers prodded and poked at and then killed of Al so never really got too. But in this story he just doesn't know what to do or how to support his son, which is good because Al wants to support him.


The Spirit That I Have Seen

Chapter 14-Never Leave Me

Intelligence follows the money leading to a lead. Adam returns to the prescient for the first time.


"So we know the money leads to Clearwater Security and we have a pretty good idea of who the Brit is?"

"John Evenson" Antonio said pointing at the board "British National ex SAS, came over to the states early 2002, been floating ever since. Got into private security six years, been known to be ruthless in his approach to dealing with the problems. Has been known to be hired for all kinds of dodgy shit but Voight this is all just guesswork, we still don't have a formal ID on this and we can't find him. No activity on his cards in fact we don't even think he's been using them and we've got a car watching his house—"

"What about work"

"We can't just walk in there if he is there" Jay said quietly. "It's Clearwater Security's boss they have…I don't know what they have but they have more power than we do, we'd need warrants and more men than we have to do it and even so they'd go on a burn watch, shred any sensitive materials and fall back on the fact that they are paid by the Federal government. I've worked with men like this before trust me getting them to accept any kind of culpability is beyond them, they'll be protected come hell or high water and even if we did get this guy in a courtroom we'd be under a huge amount of pressure to plead him out because I guarantee you he will know enough to put troop movements in jeopardy. Believe me I know these people, it's always someone else's fault but themselves."

There was a bitterness there that Jay rarely used but moving on…rapidly.

"So if he's at work we can't touch him. Were not even sure we can ID him what we do know is he is the only Clearwater Security's agent whose had a hundred and fifty thousand dollars transferred into his account. That's more than the standard for a job well done. This is something big. Coupled with the fact that Clearwater Security's cannot operate on American soil—"

Here Jay snorted into his coffee.

"We think this is him but without speaking to him we don't know who the main guy was. And thanks to Vicky we know there was a main guy, African American who seemed to know Adam and hate Adam"

"I don't get where Vicky comes into this thought" Kim said suddenly. "Look take Adam, I mean…he's a cop I suppose for someone that's a high target but Vicky…she's a kid, and where the hell are her parents? Nobody has reported her missing, there's no school report, there's…nothing. It's like she's a ghost child or something. And why take her? What's in it for them? Can't be sexual because we'd have proof by now but then why do what they did to Adam if you don't have that on your mind? There's huge chunks of this that don't make sense"

"Vicky's the only person who can identify both of them as well." Kevin said quietly. "You take that analogy and you're going to have to protect her. If she knows who these guys are there is going to be a reckoning."

Voight nodded and then he turned to look at the board.

"Call Al" he said finally. "It's damn time we got an ID on this guy, and if your right, I want that kid surrounded by cops"


"So this is where I used to work"

Vicky who had been sat in the back of the car scrambled into the middle seat between Al and Adam and blinked.

"Oh" she said quietly and Adam had to smile even though he didn't want to because she didn't sound very impressed by it.

"It's alright when you get inside"

"Is it?"

"Yeah" he said quietly. "Come on"

And so they went inside.

Adam didn't know what to make of it. The building seemed the same, people nodded and smiled at him. Platt at the desk hugged him but he couldn't help but wonder if everyone was seeing Victim with a capital V. He smiles and nods and goes through the motions and he feels his hands itch as he goes up the stairs. He wonders how many people would be like this if they knew the truth was right in front of them. He staggers upstairs with his bad knee and blinks.

Because it's all the same. It's all the same as it was that night when Al told him that he had a CI that he needed him to go and see. He thinks that he wasn't expecting that.

"Hey brother" Kevin says with a grin and Adam finds himself in Kevin's arms in a bear hug and then he is swiftly gone and Jay is there. It feels nice he thinks as Antonio and Hayley and Kim follow suit and he blinks and there is Vicky sat on Kevin's desk eying up his glass paperweight and looking at the blue spirals as if it's the most fascinating thing that she has ever seen.

By the end of the day she's going to have this in her possession Adam knows. Kid could walk off with a cops' gun if she turned her swollen eye on him.

"Hey Adam"

"Boss"

"You look good"

That is an abject lie and they both know it. Adam does not look good. He looks like a right wreck.

"Boss" he says again because what else is he supposed to say and then.

"Did someone clean up my desk?"

"Your desk had old food in it" Jay says quietly. "So yeah"

"And really" Kevin says with a grin. "Harry Potter?"

"Harry Potter is a deeply important piece of cultural literature"

"I despair" Al mutters sitting down at his desk.

"Whose Harry Potter?" Vicky says looking up and everyone turns to look at her even Voight.

"Oh that is just sad" Jay says quietly.

Adam gives it a day for Amazon to process and deliver the books to Al and Meredith's house.

"Adam can we have a word?"

"Sure boss"


Voight to his credit doesn't bullshit him the second the door closes.

"I need Vicky to ID the British guy" he says flatly. "I think she might be the only person who can identify either one of the people who held you and you and I both know that, that makes her a target and a half."

For a second Adam blinked and then.

"You think the second guy is gonna come after her"

"Yes. Good news is that, that means we can keep her officially in protective custody rather than…unofficially which is what were doing now. Means we don't have to do deal with any of the Med lot sticking their noses in. But I need her to ID this guy Adam and then I need her to ID the other when we get him"

"And will you?" he asks suddenly unable to swallow. Voight looked at him with that cold look.

"One way or the other" he said quietly. "You think about what you can live with and then you make a decision okay" and with that he nodded as if that was the only thing that mattered.

Adam blinked because there was no way that Voight was saying what he thought that he was saying…

Was there?

He bit his lip and then…

"I'll ask her but I'm not gonna pressure her into doing it. I don't want to scare her. Her memories coming back faster than mine"

Voight nodded. "Yeah" he said quietly. "Kids are funny like that. You see it over time. They can't keep the lie off their faces"

Adam didn't know what to make of that.


Vicky sipping hot chocolate (Kevin had been outraged) looked at the photo's little legs swinging off her chair. For a second she looked at all of them hand wrapped around her cup and then she pointed.

"Him"

"You sure Vic?"

"Oh yeah" she said happily making grabby hands and with a victorious smile Hayley caught Jay's eye and passed the bag of marshmallows.

"I like marshmallows" Al said watching from the window. "So much kinder on the teeth"

And then he was gone.

Adam turned to face Kim who caught his eye and then the two of them without warning started laughing. It felt good to laugh even if it was wild and uncontrollable.

Kim stopped eventually and Adam leaned back against the interrogation window closing his eyes and breathing out the recycled air.

"It's funny" he said quietly.

"What?"

"What you miss" he said finally. "I didn't…I didn't think I would miss any of this until it turns out I did."

"You didn't think you were missing that long"

"Didn't think I was missing. I've sat here for ages trying to rack my brain and figure out what I am missing, you know the God awful thing? I think I saw the guys face, I really do, I think I must have seen the face but then…everytime I think I can see it, everytime I think I can place it, it disappears on me. And I know, I know that memories come back at different times and I know that Vicky's brain and mine are two entirely different things but the truth of the matter is that I know I saw him. I know it. I know it and I just can't place it"

He shakes his head and then gently she wrapped her arms around his shoulders resting her head on him.

"You did good Adam. You survived. You came back to us. That's damn good"

He opened his mouth and then changed tact.

"I…I was thinking when this was over, when I can go back to my apartment, I was thinking I would adopt Vicky. I mean…unless she has family out there but I just…I think that we would have found them by now and I want to adopt her and I know that I don't…I mean I'm not what you would call parent material—"

"Says who?"

Adam snorted but Kim turned to look at him and her voice and her face were deathly serious.

"Adam you are more than parent material. When we were together that was the one thing that I never had to worry about. Cause I knew you would make an amazing Dad. Hell you are the best Dad that that kid has had all her life. She adores you. You adore her. I think you would be a brilliant Dad. And you got a lot of people reaching in to pull you out of whatever hole this bastard has put you in"

For a second all he wanted to do was kiss her.

But then.

"You know what happened to me?"

"Yeah"

"You don't care?"

She looked at him with something akin to horror in her eyes.

"Adam I could never…Adam I love you, weather or not we are together I love you. I've had six months of memories and nightmares and agonising what if's to think about. I used to…I don't know I would freeze up everytime we got a call about a John Doe. I used to think it was you and then I don't know…the only person who used to take it worst than me was Al."

"Al?"

"Jesus Adam are you blind? Of course Al"

Adam opened his mouth and then shut it again.

"Al was like a man possessed when you were gone. Man loved you like a son, hell he does love you like a son and when you were gone…so soon after Lexie and…though we didn't know it yet you saw them last…he was the one who never believed you were dead."

He didn't know what to say to that.

"Would it be wrong" he said very quietly. "If I said that I felt the same way? Even after all that has happened? Even though I have a Dad that is still alive?"

Kim shook her head.

"I think that makes you human" she said quietly. "And being human is messy but it's also glorious. I love you and I can wait for as long as you need me too. Because before I didn't know what it would be like when you were gone. And now that's been put into perspective for me. I know what I want. I know that your it for me. Maybe I caused a lot of hurt breaking up with you the first time out of nowhere but I know that I love you. And what happened to you…that makes you a survivor not a victim. And I can wait until you are ready. I can. Because you are alive. And I fell in love with you before you had your beard and I never stopped"

Adam blinked at her and then…

"The beard was a good look you know"

"Please" she said smiling.

"I love you too you know" he said as she took her hand in his.

"I know"

And then it clicked.

"Kim"

"Yeah?"

"I didn't have a beard"

"What?"

"Well…if someone's holding me down for six months then…shouldn't I have the hair and the beard to match?"

Kim blinked and then…

"You weren't alone" she said quietly.

"Kim there is no way I am letting someone with a razor near me without a fight and I don't bare the signs of one so they either held me down or—"

"Or they drugged you"

"And what's the one drug that never shows up in your system. The one commonly used for date rape."

"But to get that for six months is an incredibly long supply, you would need a dealer who has that amount of connections and that would mean…someone who had…"

But then she stopped and she staggered a little.

"What?"

"The shipment" she said.

"Huh?"

"A week after…a week after you went missing Southside took a huge shipment of pills off the street. There was a dealer but he was dead. He kept records of what he had and there was a bag of GHB missing. I didn't think…it was right after you went missing and Woods took the case—"

"Woods?"

"Yeah, we were investigating your disappearance it wasn't…it was just shop talk. But…the only people who would have had access to that shipment were cops."

"Your saying the other guy…the one who was behind this was a cop?"

For a second she stared at him slightly dazed and then the door opened and Antonio stook his head in.

"John Evanson just turned up"

"He's dead" Adam surmised and Antonio nodded.

"So they're cleaning house" Kim said quietly.

"There gonna come for Vicky" Adam said softly.

"I know" Kim said quietly rubbing her hand up his back (and he didn't throw off her touch. In fact he didn't register it as a threat at all) and he bit his bottom lip.

"There not gonna get her Adam" she said softly and Adam turned his gaze through the window to the little girl sat watching a video on Kevin's phone sipping hot chocolate and eating marshmallows and he knew this, out of everything else that had happened, he knew this to be the truth.


And there you go, this was not originally where I intended this chapter to go but here we are so...

Next Chapter-Vicky is hiding when she hears another voice and she puts two and two together and sees the man behind the curtain. But can she tell Adam who it is?