Kokoro, because it hasn't been used frequently enough in fanfics

Happy birthday, Kaito


It was lunchtime in Vocaloid Academy. The birds were chirping and the sun was shining. Things were overall well in Kagaminelandia- I mean Vocaloid world. Rin Kagamine was writing song lyrics under a blossoming sakura tree in the schoolyard, because as you know, Vocaloids are super talented at singing and music although it hasn't been mentioned a single time in this story.

Luka, who hasn't yet done anything worth mentioning in this story aside from having a gigantic bust, walked over to see what Rin was doing. While she was walking, her massive, melon-like mammaries jiggled and bounced up and down and right and left sexily. Did I already mention she had big boobs?

"What are you doing, Rin-chan?" Luka asked in her silky, soft, mature, boob-ish voice.

"Uh… nothing…" Rin said, hiding her light pink kawaii spiral notebook behind her back.

"Were you writing a song?" Luka inquired, smiling breastily.

"Y- Yes… it's for Len-kun…"

"Can I see it?"

"Sure!"

Luka leaned in to grab the notebook, resulting in her bulky bosom smacking Rin in the face like a wrecking ball. A stab of envy shot through Rin at the sight of her friend's udder that was, mind you, quite sizable.

As we all know, in the Kagaminelandia- I mean Vocaloid world, cup size is a measurement of a woman's value as a human being; the bigger, the better.

Luka started reading the fresh song. (Of Bel-Air)

"I named it Kokoro," Rin said bashfully, even though she was secretly very proud of the song.

[Insert 'Kokoro' lyrics here]

"Wow, Rin-chan… That was really good!" Luka sniffled, wiping tears from her eyes with her boobs.

"That was amaziiing~~~!" squealed Miku, holy shit, where did she come from!?

"Ah! No… It's not really that good or special!" Rin mumbled, her face as red as a certain vegetable from embarrassment.

"You can really feel the emotion in the song," Luka praised.

"Well, I did write it with Len-kun in mind… I'm not sure how, but it really describes my endless love for him and how meeting him saved me from the bottomless pit of despair that I was stuck in in my former, miserable life," babbled Rin who had always been stunningly beautiful, had a big group of supportive friends and lived in a big, expensive mansion with a loving mother.

"Hey girls, mind if we sit our asses down in this spot and eat our bento?" asked Kaito, who had just walked under the sakura tree with Gahako and already planted his posterior firmly on the ground.

"Go ahead!" Luka said.

"Where's Len?" Rin asked because that's all she ever cares about.

"His fan club caught him. I don't even want to think about what they are doing to him right now…" Kaito said, prompting a cutaway to the "Len in a dress" scene that is obligatory for literally all stories.


~~~The "Len in a dress" scene~~~

"FUFUFUFUFU," Len's fangurls laughed ominously because all anime girls make that sound when they laugh.

"No! I beg you, please don't do this to me!" Len wailed, kawaii baby tears welling up in his big shota eyes.

"Leeen-kuuun~ Put this on~!" some brown-haired faceless background bitch purred.

The girls were holding up the frilliest, girliest possible sailor Lolita outfit. Because it is exceedingly common in the Kag- Voca- heck, in the entire animu world of Nipponese cartoons for girls to have a hardcore fetish for young boys wearing dresses. Only god knows why and he doesn't even want to.

"IYAAAAAA!"

The girls went all "FUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUUFUFUFUFUFUUFUUUUUUUFUUUU-" again and had that anime look on their face. You know the one where the upper half of the face is all black and there are gleams in the place of their eyes. Then they grabbed their precious sex object- I mean Len-kun and started freaking undressing him against his will.

Sexual harassment is a funny humorous comedy joke. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Len could sue you all.

"FUFUFU~ LOOK AT HIS SEXY NAKEY BUTT~…"

"NOOOOOOO!"


~~~Back to the others~~~

"Like I said, I don't want to know," Kaito huffed.

"Do you guys want to see this cool song Rin wrote for Len?" Miku asked, snatching the notebook and handing it to the boys before Rin could protest.

Kaito and Babucko read the lyrics and cried like babies.

"Damn, Rin! I had no idea you were such a great songwriter!" Kaito gasped.

"Well, we are Vocaloids who go to a school for the exceptionally musically gifted…" Rin said.

"Literally nobody mentioned this until this chapter," Kakkapoo said.

"That was the most beautiful combination of words written to be accompanied by music that I have ever come across," Meiko bawled. Wait, what?

"It is absolutely heartbreaking but so good," sniffled Haku, who has only briefly appeared in this story once before.

"Hey, what's going on?" Miki asked and eyed the lyrics.

"No. What are you doing. Please don't read it." Rin said in a deadpan voice while practically shoving the notebook to the other's faces.

Miki read it.

And then Yukari read it. And then Mayu read it. And then Maika. Zunko. Galaco. Rion. Avanna. YOHIOloid. Yanhe. Rana. Kokone. V-Flower. Ruby. Cyber Diva. Cyber Songman. Yuezheng Ling. Fukase. Dex. Daina. Chika. Anon. Kanon. Sachiko. UNI. Arsloid. Sachiko. Nemu. Una. Kohaku. Xin Hua. Lorra. Rune. Matcha. Azuki.

"Since when has there been so many fucking Vocaloids?" Rin asked.

And in the end, practically the entire population of Kagaminela- Vocaloid world (sans Len for obvious reasons) was there marveling at Rin's outstanding lyrical work.

It was awesome.

~~~Elsewhere~~~

Len Kagamine was sneaking home from school, crying from embarrassment all the while.

He felt an inconvenient breeze in his family jewels, clad in pink pantsu that were made of uncomfortably thin fabric. As Len struggled to pull the hem of the kawaii-lolita-styled sailor-fuck-u thing lower to shield his precious oranges and banana, he wondered how many times the same "joke" can be used in fan fictions and still be funny.


~~~At the prom~~~

Yes, because suddenly out of nowhere…

PROM!1!2!

This story is a train wreck.

Rin was wearing an orange and yellow princess dress with black heels, black long gloves and a black bow. Her hair was curled slightly, making her resemble a doll or an angel or whatever pure innocent thing you feel like comparing her with.

As she stepped into the gym, literally everybody turned their heads to stare at the pure hotness, sexiness and perfectness that was radiating from our heroine.

And then fucking Len waltzed towards her with his fucking Len smile, wearing a fucking yellow shirt and a fucking black vest and fucking black pants. And he had that fucking banana ponytail that was very fucking.

He was… sekushi.

"May I have this dance?" he asked in his smooth, low, mellow voice that made every girl in a five mile radius aggressively orgasm.

"Oh yes, Len-kun!"

They were of course the best dancers at the prom. Nobody else was dancing so the twins- er, Rin and Len were dancing in the middle of the floor, the spotlight entirely on them.

Soon, it was time to announce the Prom King and Queen.

"And Prom King and Queen are… Len Kagamine and Rin Kagamagami!1"

"I AM SO SURPRISED!" everyone else exclaimed in genuine surprise.

And then Rin woke up. It was all just a dream, HAHAHA- fuck you, readers. Turns out that now she was about to be late for the actual prom!

"Crap! I'm going to be late!" Rin shouted her usual line.


~~~At the actual, really real completely-not-a-dream prom. Not fake~~~

Rin was running towards the gym where the prom had already started, but suddenly she bumped into a stranger because that is seriously the only way to meet new people. She fell on her ass.

"Itaii…" she whined in an annoying Japanese voice.

"I'm sorry, are you okay?" asked the boy she had bumped into. Rin couldn't believe her eyes when she lifted her face up to look at him. The boy looked just like Rin! And it was totally not Len.

"Yes, sorry for bumping into you… uh… gotta go!" she said sheepishly and quickly ran away. But this incident left her feeling a bit strange, and also questioning her parents.

However before she reached the gym, Rin realized she needed to pee quite badly. So she headed to the bathroom very quickly. Rin did what needed to be done and was ready to go. She tried to open the door, but it wouldn't budge. She tried again and again. The door was stuck.

Suddenly Rin heard the evil cackle of Nero Akita, that Akita bitch's nerdy brother, from the other side of the door. Because it is totally very smart and wise to give yourself away like that.


Meanwhile, Len was waiting for his princess at the prom and was getting impatient already.

"What if something has happened to her? She hasn't left me, has she? Oh no, have I not been good enough for her?"

All these stupid questions were swimming around in his shota head, when Neru the main bitch herself walked up to him and started batting her eyelashes at him all cute.

"Hey, Len-kun, wanna dance with me?"

"But I'm waiting for Rin-chan…"

"She hasn't arrived yet? Well, I don't think she was ever good enough for you anyway. That bitch was probably just playing you," Neru said. That was a lie, because…

SHE KNEW EXACTLY WHERE RIN WAS. Dun dun duuun!

"Maybe it's true…" Len said sadly, totally falling for the lie because apparently he had more faith in a creepy fangirl than his only true loved one.

"Okay, Neru-san… I shall accept your request to dance with me!"


~~~Later~~~

"And now, the moment you all have been waiting for: it is time to announce this year's Prom King and Prom Queen!" some random person said into the microphone. Author, try to even try.

"This year's Prom King and Prom Queen are…"

Rin had somehow escaped the bathroom and got to the gym just in time to hear:

"LEN KAGAMINE AND NERU AKITA!"

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Rin shouted in slow motion. "How could you do this to me, Len-kun?" She cried, wet tears running down her cheeks made of skin.

"Hey, we exist too," Meiko reminded, referring to herself, Kaito, Luka, Gopuko, Miku and her clone who nobody cares about. Because obviously none of these wonderful couples was cuter.

Neru and Len were up on the stage with crowns placed upon their heads, holding a fuckton of flowers in their arms.

"And now it's time for the kiss!"

In a split second, Akita bitch had slipped her slutty tongue into Len's pure, innocent ex-12-year-old-playboy mouth.

Then Len spotted Rin from the crowd of like a thousand people. She was crying. And that's worse than Satan and Stalin and the apocalypse.

He quickly shoved Neru away.

"No… I'm sorry, Neru-san, but I can't do this."

A few seconds of silence followed.

"…WHAT!?" Neru looked and sounded like an erupting volcano. How, go figure.

"I love Rin so much, she is the light of my life which would be very miserable and dark without her," Len explained.

"Oh, Len!" Rin sighed, crying tears of joy now.

"I will never, ever leave you, Rin! Even though earlier I was convinced that you were a playing bastard who bailed on me on purpose, now it's all magically forgotten!" Len said.

Neru whipped out her yellow cell phone and spoke into it:

"Plan B."

Len attempted to run to his precious Rinny, but furious Neru grabbed his banana ponytail firmly.

"Now I will kidnap you!" Neru declared and kidnapped Len.

"NOOOO!" Len cried, making the "D:" face.


"What just happened?" a dumbfounded Kaito asked, reflecting the thoughts of the readers of this shit.

"Len-kun is gone…" Rin sniffled. "And I didn't even have the chance to sing Kokoro to him…"

But then as suddenly as everything else happens in this story apparently, her grief was replaced with determination.

"No! I can't just sit here crying and let her take Len away from me!" she thought. With her newfound confidence, Rin shouted a very cringy, animesque line:

"With the power of my song, I will save you, Len-kun!"


I'm back and shittier than ever.

So many new Vocaloids. Who actually keeps track of all of 'em? Arsloid. "Arse-loid"?