beenjammin0421: A janitor in a constant fight with a weasel? If thst is who I think it is you have good taste. That was a reference for Ned's declassified
superpierce: Thank you for the Ned declassified school survival guide Reference I loved Gordy and the weasel scenes.
sarmadsadiq95: If this is a reference to Ned's declassified school survival guide, I gotta say thisgives a chef's kiss) exquisite.
Re: Yes, but this time I spun it around so a Ferret-man (the Weasel from Ned's Declassified was actually a Ferret; probably because it was easier to find a Trained Ferret than a Trained Weasel available for a sitcom run) is chasing a Rhesus Monkey/primate. Whether it's anything like Nezu, or just a really intelligent lab monkey is yet to be seen. I am honestly either/or on that front.
But yes, Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide was one of my favorite series as a kid. I honestly didn't plan on making this crossover until I realized, middle schools full of kids firing off their Quirks are bound to make all sorts of messes, and sometimes you just need a really good janitor who is also great with kids. That is what saved his position at James K. Polk when his job was on the line, after all. #SubtleReferenceDrop
Harleking31: Ayyyyyy Konofrog!
Traga plomo, Sapo
Lol, c-19 a bioweapon
Pet the dog
Re: I am a big fan of KonoSuba, yes. That, and giving them [Shock Absorption] like the "USJ Nomu" made it doubly-funny~
SO glad I could finally make that joke~ It just made the whole thing seem less depressing if China accidentally "biological warfare'd" themselves before they could close their borders and infect the rest of the world.
She might not appreciate that, but I love your energy.
DarkShadowSabre: Considering the shit China has been giving Australia over wanting investigations into CV's origins, I'm refusing to rule that possibility out, the time and place are really sus, especially with what was happening in Hong Kong.
Re: YES! EXACTLY! SUS!
Plus, China makes a habit of shooting their own people in broad daylight (and/or running them over with tanks), and discrediting MMA fighters like Xu "Mad Dog" Xiadong for making their "Magical" Martial Arts Masters look bad by beating the shit out of their "Mystical" Kung-Fu, which they deify in a very Kim Jon-Un-esque fashion. As Liberty Prime once said-
"Communism is the very definition of failure."
(Guest): start your fucking story already. dumbass!
Re: The fact that you said as such anonymously, means you don't even have one leg to stand on~
But please, by all means, Rage Quit me~ Go back to reading your two-dimensional "Naruto-re-skin" CrossOvers that jump straight into the on/off-screen boning~
*AHA*
For those of you wondering just what Takehiko Tokei got up to before meeting Polt-san at the riverside and fishing for American Catfish for three hours…
This is that story.
*AHA*
"Well, aren't you the popular one~" Naruki chuckled as Takei found himself completely surrounded in homeroom that morning.
"Not helping, Wakatsuchi…!" the developing Heteromorph growled, scratching irritably at one of his ears.
His sentiments of course were not helped by the fact that Kyouko proceeded to snuggle him like a plush toy, rubbing her cheek into the top of his head.
"Hey, at least you're getting a taste of Hero worship early~" Togami grinned.
"Yeah, well, here's hoping all my fans aren't this tall compared to myself," he grumbled. "Oogi-chan, heyyyyyy…"
"Please, call me Kyouko-chan. You saved Chisa-chan from getting eaten, so it's the least I owe you~" the 'Giant Girl' smiled prettily.
"Could you maybe not pamper me like this? 'Chisa-chan' is kinda giving me the stink-eye."
And she was in fact doing as such.
"Chisa-chan! I'm so glad you didn't get made into a frog-snack!" Kyouko cried as she snagged the 'Tiny Girl' and mashed her up against the object of her gratitude.
"O-Oi! Watch the hands!" Chisa cried as she found herself cheek to cheek with Takei.
"Hello Pot, I'm Kettle. Nice to meet ya."
"That's enough. Settle down. Settle down," our homeroom teacher, Tatara Ken, said as he came in. "Oogi-chan, please let your classmates go. You're crushing one of them to death."
*AHA*
The reprieve, of course, was only temporary…
"I'm sorry, I must've gotten something funky in my ear. Can you run that by me again?"
"We elected you as class representative," Togami repeated as I looked up from my notes.
" . . . Okay but whyyyyyy?"
"You're a real 'take action' sorta guy, and when that giant frog was eating Chisa-chan alive, your rapid and decisive action helped turn the tide," Naruki replied off to the side.
"Hey, that reminds me... What happened to everyone who got handsy with that thing?"
"Oh, those yellow jumpsuit guys scrubbed us raw is what happened," Tomu groaned, his cat ears drooping. "Still, since we didn't get covered in blood and saliva like you did, we were let off after about a day in a normal hospital."
"Huh..." I hummed. "Back to the previous topic, when did you even decide on this? I don't remember being part of that conversation."
"We wanted it to be a surprise!" Yomi grinned.
"It was a lotta trouble getting everyone to keep quiet about it until you got back, you know…" Shiori pouted.
" . . . You really want me for class rep?" I asked incredulously, the sum of my classmates nodding their heads. "In that case, I abdicate."
"Abdi-what?" the shark-toothed boy, Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu blinked.
"He means he's renouncing his appointment to Class Rep," the orange side-tailed girl, Kendo Itsuka, replied.
"If that's the case, who do you appoint in your stead?" Tatara-sensei inquired, a piece of chalk held in one of his hands like it were an unlit cancer stick.
"Yukimura Hanako. She's the one I choose."
"M-Me? Why me?" the plain-looking girl with rectangular glasses, thick eyebrows, and her hair done back in two braids gawped as the room's attention shifted toward her.
"I got the vibe that you were one of the hardest-working students in our class," I replied. "Your pencil is always taking notes, you always raise your hand when sensei invites student participation, and you always try your hardest in gym."
"But, but I'm…" Hanako muttered, her eyes downcast to her desk. "Quirkless..."
That word said as though it were her scarlet letter, an awkward silence dominated the room, everyone finding something else more-interesting to look at.
"…Yukimura-san."
"Hai?" she asked dejectedly.
"I fail to see why that would influence my decision."
" . . . "
" . . . "
" . . . Eh?" she blinked like I'd said something completely crazy.
"I never said I wanted you to represent us because of what Quirk you did or didn't have. I singled you out because of your work ethic. It never mattered to me whether or not you could shoot lasers out of your ears. I chose you because you're 'you'; not because of what you did or didn't get from the genetic lottery at birth."
At that moment you could hear a pin drop, but I didn't care.
"I was pretty much Quirkless until these came in," I said tugging one of my ears. "And I find the idea that someone has to have a Quirk to have any 'value' in our society completely nauseating. So you can consider this decision mud in the eye of anyone who ever thought otherwise. That, and I've got too much on my plate to be Class Rep."
At this, Yukimura's eyes went wide, as though she were seeing me for the first time.
"Yukimura-san. Will you represent us?" I asked extending my hand to her.
A long moment passed between us, but then out of nowhere, her eyes began to moisten, her glasses going foggy before she took my hand in hers, a smile tugging at her face.
"H-Hai!" she beamed. "I won't let you down, Takehiko-san."
"I know you won't," I nodded back. " . . . Take a picture. It'll last longer," I snapped up at everyone who had been gawking at the two of us.
At this, everyone who had been staring at her and/or I incredulously, noisily averted their eyes.
*AHA*
Things of course, only proceeded to devolve from there, and I swiftly came to realize what it meant to be one of the "cool kids".
I despise the sentiment with all of my being.
I mean, sure, the gratitude for saving Chisa's life last week was appreciated, but only when it's from the people directly involved and/or affected. Everyone else saying how "cool" I was for what I back then, or expressing even the slightest amount of human decency now and trying to become my friend when they couldn't have cared less about me before… If I were actually twelve, I might've fallen for it, but since I wasn't, since I already knew how far something like "popularity" actually got you in life outside of school, I kept any potential hangers-on at bay, and didn't widen my circle of friends beyond what it already was.
That didn't do anything to diminish the number of people from mine and other classes trying to get into my good graces, and when I learned that the table that Naruki, Togami, Tomu, and I normally sat at had suddenly become "the cool kids' table"…
"Oh my god! It's another one!" I shouted pointing out the window.
As everyone else scrambled to the windows with cries of- "Holy crap!" -, - "Where?!" -, and- "Grab the mop bucket and a really big rubber band!" -, I vacated the premises with my lunch in hand.
*AHA*
Being famous, or even infamous, is a lot like being a raw nerve; completely exposed to the elements and quite irritable.
I wanted to live an ordinary middle school life, go to a nice high school, a nice college, then meet a nice girl and raise a couple of kids either in the city or the Japanese countryside with everyone in the Mon Squad being my hypothetical kids' aunties; assuming this super-powered society I was living in didn't completely implode on itself, first.
Another option would be to move to Sternbild if it's survived the intervening centuries. I was a Tiger & Bunny fanboy in a post-post-POST-series world where the vernacular for meta-humans had changed, so I totally would've been happy there too. Moving overseas would've been scary as hell, but at least I spoke the language and knew enough of the customs I wouldn't stick out too much.
Of course, any hope of having an anonymous lifestyle likely died with that "frog kaiju" I killed that probably fell into our world from the KonoSuba one… and word had already begun to spread that I abdicated the role of Class Rep from my class in lieu of a Quirkless person; as though that were some huge political statement.
Make no mistake, I wouldn't have done things any differently if I had the chance to re-do them. Because when someone is in trouble, you go help them. Whether you're a Hero or just "a good person", that's the way things are. That's the way things should be. And if becoming some sort of big-shot Hero is more of an inevitability than a probability, I might as well fight for my own justice, and make other so-called Heroes look bad for not doing the same.
Gaslighting at its finest~
That would be 'gaslighting', right?
All that said, while I was an "iStudent" attending classes via WiFi through an RDA bunker, I learned something very important. Something that to me feels like common sense, but probably went to the wayside as people put more value on meta-abilities than they did on science.
Thermal imaging cameras, even really cheap ones, are excellent for spotting invisible people.
Why was this important, you might be asking…?
That being said, I had more-pressing matters to contend with.
*AHA*
"I know you're there. Come on out," I said looking up from my bentou as I sat on the school roof. Like every anime protagonist ever, I ate there when I wanted space to myself, though in this case, it had the added benefit of drawing someone out away from prying eyes.
" . . . "
"I can hear you breathing over there, and my senses have only gotten sharper," I said flexing the muscles next to my knife-like ears, making them flick for emphasis.
"O-Oh! Um… Sorry…" a quiet voice said from out of thin air.
" . . . So, what's your name?" I asked, trying to be more amiable.
"T-Tomei. Tomei Shizuru," the invisible girl spoke.
"Nice to meet you, Tomei-chan," I returned. "Sooo… what, do you have some sort of 'invisibility field', or is it more like you're making me look 'around you'?"
"I-Invisibility field," the voice's owner said, and I felt the air shift as she sat next to me, a bentou box in a pink furoshiki with floral patterns having its own invisibility field peel away. The end of a pair of chopsticks becoming visible in mid-air, as I returned to my meal, the girl, Shizuru, did the same, the morsels of food she plucked from the box vanishing into thin air.
" . . . If I did something to offend you I apologize."
"Wh-what?"
"You've been eyeing me since school started, haven't you?"
"W-Well yes, but not because you offended me or anything," the invisible girl replied. "It's just… No-one other than my parents has ever looked me in the eye before. Not since…"
" . . . "
"I wasn't always invisible. But one day, when a Villain crashed through the wall at my fifth birthday party… I haven't turned visible since."
"So your Quirk makes your clothes invisible too…?"
"Y-Yes."
Oh thank god…
"And that's legal?" I then asked. 'Improper Quirk Usage' laws were very stringent in Japan, at least for Emitter and Transformation types, whereas in the rest of the world, restrictions were a bit looser, with Quirk Usage laws almost nonexistent in places like I-Island.
But only because there, people were smart-enough to put their shit in a bag, so it was together.
"M-My Quirk Activation Threshold is my 'fear response', so…" she trailed off. "It's really hard to get noticed, and I can't control my Quirk very well. Y-You… Can you actually see me?" she said changing the subject.
"I've always been hyper-aware of the people around me," I replied, turning toward her. There wasn't any sort of 'lensing effect' like a Yautja's cloaking field, but I could 'feel out' her silhouette.
"It was a really nice thing you did. For Yukimura-chan, I mean."
"Oh?"
"I really liked your speech from homeroom. It sounded like a real Hero's."
"Have my friends been calling me 'Yuusha-kun' in the changing rooms?" I sighed. "No. Scratch that. Don't answer."
" . . . Do you really feel that unsafe?" she asked after a long silence. "That you have to bring a g-gun to school, I mean?"
"Did I tell you about the time I got strapped to a laboratory slab and almost dissected like a frog?"
By the- "Urp!" -she made, I had not.
"I'm a 'Young Ward'. That means I have a target on my back, and I won't always be able to count on others to save my hide whenever I get singled out."
"Yeah, I guess that makes sense…" she replied somberly. " . . . I actually thought you were really cool, back then?"
"What, with the 'Mop Bucket Slingshot'?" I asked incredulously.
"Well, I mean… It made for a hell of an entrance~" she giggled.
" . . . Yeah, I guess it did," I chuckled, turning back to my lunch.
"Can... Can we be friends?"
"Hm?"
"I-I mean, you don't have to if you don't want to! It's just... I want to be seen, but I can't, and you don't want to be seen, but you can't help it. Or at least that's the vibe I got from you," Shizuru summarized. "I feel like... I feel like we could really understand one another."
" . . . That sounds nice," I replied as I held out a hand. "Nice to meet you."
"N-Nice to meet you too," the 'Invisible Girl' replied, her invisible hand taking hold of my own.
*AHA*
"Takei-kun..." the 'Shadow Girl' whispered into my ear.
"Kuromi."
"I just discovered something amazing~"
"Kuromi, you still have a hole in your hand."
"Kaminaga-sensei is... a great big lesbo!"
"Kuromi, you're bleeding from the nose. And also from that hole in your hand."
*Thud*
"H-Hikage-san...?!" Kyouko cried.
"Even though she went to the nurse, she's in even worse shape than before!" Chisa cried.
"Well, at least she died with a smile on her face! Ahaha!" Yomi cackled.
"Dammit, Otome-sensei, you're gonna give these kids some kind of complex," I said pulling the emergency first aid kit from my bag.
I figured Otome was sexually harassing Hitomi in the infirmary again within earshot, but didn't want to assume...
*AHA*
The more things change, the more they stay the same, I guess...
"People can see up your skirt! Wear shorts underneath," Chisa chastised.
"Um... I don't think anyone but you can see my underwear..." Kyouko hummed bashfully, her head almost scraping the ceiling.
"You're not looking up the giant's skirt, are you?" one of the boys from the neighboring class, his nose like a Moai head's, asked his friend with a sneer.
"Hey, how can I help it? She's practically flashing the entire school!" a boy with ogre-like teeth cackled.
Kyouko's hurt was evident on her face, one of her hands pressing her skirt to her rear. Chisa on the other hand...
"Hey jerkwads, we heard that!"
"What's a preschooler doing here?" the first boy asked mockingly as Chisa glowered up at him.
"Heh! You're so short we didn't see you!"
"You can say whatever crap you want about me, but apologize to her!" Chisa growled, fierce like a palmtop tiger.
"Ch-Chisa-chan, it's fine...!" Kyouko muttered.
" . . . "
"So sorry for not having any interest in some giant's panties~"
"But if you really wanna show us, we'll take a peek~!" the two sneered lecherously.
*Sniff*
*Crack*
"Oi! Shitwads!"
"Sh-Shit! It's him!" the boy with ogre-like teeth paled as I made my presence known.
"Chivalry might be dead, but that's no way to talk to a lady. APOLOGIZE!" I said reaching into my schoolbag.
"EEE-YAH! W-W-We're sorry!" the two shrieked as they ran down the hallway, leaving a very comedic dust trail in their wake.
"Fft. Pansies," I huffed as I drew out my schoolbook, my P-90 still under lock and key. "Kyouko, are you alright?"
"H... Hai..." the 'Giant Girl' whimpered.
" . . . Here. You can give it back to me later," I said unfurling my jacket, tying the sleeves around the front of her waist. "Chisa-chan had the right idea about the shorts, though. If for nothing else, at least you'll have pockets."
"You didn't have to do that, you know," Chisa pouted.
"There are lots of things I don't have to do. It doesn't mean they don't need doing anyway," I replied. "My aunties have a back channel to one of Detnerat's suppliers. When you finally decide to get some appropriately-sized shorts, just give me a call. I'll expedite an order for you."
"Th... Thank you," Kyouko bowed, her hands on my sleeve's knots.
"Just trying to do the right thing," I waved off. "Come on. Class starts soon."
*AHA*
Something else I learned while being an "iStudent", other than being able to replay lectures, is that camera footage is real good at catching people committing unscrupulous acts in the middle of class while they're otherwise preoccupied with quizzes and such.
Speaking of which…
"GOKIBURIIII!"
"KYAAAAAAAH!" most of the girls in class cried as they tucked their knees to their chests.
"GOT YOU, YOU LITTLE BASTAAAARD!"
"EEEEEEEE-" *SMACK!*
"Got 'im~"
And that's the story of how Saidzuka Mamezou came to fear the sight of me and my rolled-up workbook.
*AHA*
"Takei-kun, thank you for meeting me on such short notice," Shiori greeted after school that day, unusually somber and reticent.
"You said it was important, and we've been through a lot, so I figure I should indulge you," Takei replied as he sat down in a little secluded alcove in the far corner of the library, the evening light filtering in. "So what's on your mind?"
"Um… well… During that whole thing with the pervy pig-people…" she began, twitting her thumbs nervously. "When you smuggled me out of the store, I was hiding inside a copy of Shounen Jump. When I did, something… happened…"
"Something like what?"
"Um… well… This might be a little hard to believe, but I think… I think I fell into the manga."
" . . . What?"
"I mean yeah, even for Isekai Protag-kun that'd be hard to believe, but it really happened! It was like…! Like Alice in Wonderland or Into the Looking Glass! One minute I was flat as a sheet and folded over, and then I just… fell out of reality and into some other… reality."
" . . . "
"Heh. I must sound like a total crazy-person, huh?"
"Not at all."
"Yeah, I figured-Wait what?"
"Given the way your powers let you swap from Three to Two-Dimensional and back again as opposed to what Edgeshot does, transmigration through a similar two-dimensional medium was always going to be a possibility and non-possibility until you collapsed the wave function."
" . . . I know that look. This sort of thing happened to someone you knew 'back-when', didn't it?"
"It did. I'm just surprised it happened in real life."
"I see…" Shiori nodded. "So… what's the story there? It might clue me in on 'how' or 'why'."
" . . . Okay look," Takei said crooking a finger, the two leaning in together. "The whole thing's a little convoluted, and I don't have an eidetic memory for nerdy minutiae like many, ugh… Isekai Protagonists…" he forced out like it hurt to call himself that, "but basically there was this plant elemental, Swamp Thing, who was hauling ass from an evil zombie/fungus/robot Franken-monster made with his original body's corpse. He wound up running into a library, so to hide himself, he jumped ship from the plant body he was occupying and re-constituted himself into one of the books on the shelves. Swamp Thing can basically 'jump ship' between whatever body he's using and any form of plant-life anywhere on Earth, and since paper is basically pulped wood fibers, it made sense, and hid form the… whatever its name was."
"Uh huh… Uh huh…" Shiori nodded, hanging on his every word.
"And next thing he knows, he isn't mentally in the book anymore, his essence kind of… falls out of the 'real world' and into the world of fiction. The world of ideas. Stories, music, songs. A 'collective unconsciousness', a 'Morphing Grid' that all fictional characters and created works exist in. In the DC Universe, all plant life was interconnected to The Green, animals were for The Red, and a whole bunch of other 'elemental planes', and Swamp Thing landed in an elemental plane for ideas."
"And you think that's what happened to me?"
"It's the only thing that makes sense, based on what you described. Even if you turn into a two-dimensional form, you still have the memories and perspective of a three-dimensional being, so you don't lose yourself when doing that in three-dimensional space… But Swamp Thing was offered the chance to stay inside… I think it was called 'The Muse'… And I think he almost did, but he opted not to because he still had a duty to fulfil."
"Huh… Don't think I've heard of any plant-type Quirk-users who could do something like that."
"Well, Swamp Thing is practically a god-like 'Omega-Level' entity, so…" Takei shrugged. "What was it like?"
"It was… It was weird… It was cool… It was terrifying…" she tried to summarize. "It was like I was there. I was there, no panels, no speech bubbles or narrator boxes. But then your voice reached out to me, and I remembered I had a home I needed to go back to. If you hadn't called out to me… I'm not sure what would've happened."
"Well, I don't know if 'The Muse' exists here, so if it doesn't, you might've just worked your way through all of the pages to the end of that volume and then fallen out… but I don't have your powers, or your perspective, so I can only speculate."
" . . . You think Kuromi has the same problem?"
"Don't know. I lack her perspective as well, but in the DC Universe, her powers would be tied to 'the Shadowlands', an elemental plane of shadows, hence the on-the-nose name," Takei shrugged.
"Comics from the back-when sound really fucking wild," the twin-tailed girl grinned.
"Yeah, well…" he shrugged. "Existential crisis over?"
"Ugh, not even. My brain is still fried…" the '2D Girl' slumped unladylike before flopping onto her side.
"Sh-Shiori-chan!?" Takei gawped as she laid her head on his lap.
"Tired. Sleepy."
"Shiori don't you dare fall asleep on my lap! I still have to get up and go later!"
"SHHHHHH!"
"Fucking librarians…" he muttered as the librarian on-duty shushed him, but otherwise made no move to help alleviate the weight from his thighs.
*AHA*
"Mitsumi…"
"Hai?"
" . . . I'm gonna bail."
-is what Takei said after finding dozens of would-be hangers-on at the Churinjo surrounding their bikes.
"And I don't blame you for doing so," she replied before her eyes shut, her third eye snapping open. "OI! DIPSHITS! KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF! ORAAAA! KORAAAA!"
As 'Top-chan' proceeded to scare the ever-loving crap out of aforementioned hangers-on, Takei biked off at top speed with one thought on his mind.
'Maybe I'll try the riverside. I'm sure it's quite nice when old people dressed like Mega Man re-skins aren't beating the crap out of you…'
*AHA*
AN:
The Class Rep (of Class 2-A in Nurse Hitomi's Monster Infirmary) doesn't actually have a name in the Canon (as far as I know; and I combed the manga for the "Student Health Record(s)", so I'm fairly certain about that), so Spaceman and I gave her the name "Yukimura, Hanako". Hanako means "Flower Child" and Yukimura means "Snow Village"; poking at Horikoshi-sensei's naming convention, Hanako is "a flower child in a snow village is like a mundane in a world of superpowers; abnormal but beautiful."
And sure, she's self-described as "a plain, frumpy girl", but I think she's pretty cute in a girl-next-door kinda way, though she would definitely get picked on if she were going to school anywhere close to a Hero Academy.
Or at least that's why I believe Bakugou was allowed to grow such a collossal ego; his proximity to Yuuei. It just makes sense that the farther one is away from a Hero Academy, the less-prevalent "Quirk Elitism/Quirkism" would be; at least in my HeadCanon… Heteromorph Discrimination on the other hand gets more-powerful the more-remote you are in the Japanese (or any) countryside, since people have been complete shitheads to one another for thousands of years, and two-hundred years of having superpowers wouldn't do anything to change that.
Anywho, tell me what you think of this Chapter and the subtle/not-so-subtle theme it covers, and I'll see you all next time!
