Summary: A new Apprentice joins.
A/N: Things get stirred up in this chapter. Thank you for reading!
Chapter 5
The next week came along and Severus entered the lab, stopping short as he realized who was in there with him. Hermione frowned. It had taken Horace days to ask Lily Evans if she wanted to do the mini-apprenticeship, so this was the first time that she had come to the lab to work. She recognized Severus' reticence to enter the room. After a pause, he squared his shoulders and entered, moving up to Hermione's desk.
Another thing that Horace had decided was that she would be the one to supervise the both of them–every day they were working–three times a week. The man was ridiculously lazy unless he could get recognition for his actions. She stopped being bitter toward Slughorn and looked up at Severus.
"What is Lily doing here?" he whispered.
"I mentioned there would be another student working as an apprentice. Lily is the person Professor Slughorn has chosen to do that."
Severus' lips thinned as he looked back at Lily. Lily was regarding Severus warily as well. Hermione sighed. Looking between the two of them, she decided to be blunt.
"Okay, Miss Evans, Mr. Snape. I have noticed that you two seem to avoid one another during class as if your lives depended on it. I don't know what's going on with the two of you, but I will assure you that you mostly will be working on your own projects here. You may choose to ask the other for advice, but that will not be necessary. As far as I'm concerned, you can both ignore each other to your hearts' content as long as you get something done here. Are you both in agreement with this? If not, you will be released from your commitment, and we will find another person to take your place."
Hermione hoped that Severus didn't decide to up and walk. She didn't think he would, but she wasn't sure, given his dynamic with Lily.
Severus looked over at Lily.
"I am fine with this if you are."
Lily shrugged. "It's fine," was all she said. She quickly went back to her potion.
Hermione looked over at Severus, who looked hurt. Her heart went out to him, but she would address this later.
"Thank you both for working this out. Severus, Professor Slughorn has asked you to brew a contraceptive potion for the infirmary."
Severus arched a brow. "Sexual relations at the school are forbidden," he mused.
"Definitely, but that doesn't stop students from having sex. Professor Dumbledore would rather have people prepared than having a horde of babies crying in the halls."
Severus smirked and got to work. Hermione got up and looked over at what Lily was creating: a Sleeping Potion.
"How's it going?" she asked.
"It's going well, Professor Granger. I'm almost done. I just need to add the Valerian sprigs. Once I've stirred it seven times, I need to wave my wand in a triangular pattern, right?"
"Yes, that's right. It looks good so far. Go ahead and finish it up."
She wandered away so as not to seem to be hanging over Lily, letting her finish the potion herself. Settling back into her desk chair, she watched her from afar as she finished up and started decanting the potion into vials and placing them in a separated tray to be transported to the Infirmary. It took her about ten minutes to get everything taken care of. She then looked up at Hermione.
"I'm done, Professor."
Hermione came back up to her and lifted a vial, observing the deep purple color. She'd already noted it was perfect from her desk, but she wanted Lily to know that she was making sure everything was done correctly.
"It's perfect, Miss Evans. You've done a brilliant job." She placed the vial back in its spot on the tray. "You are free to go. Would you please deliver these to the Infirmary?"
"Yes, of course." Lily glanced over at Severus before packing up her things and taking the tray, leaving the lab.
Hermione wandered over to Severus. He'd been looking frazzled and upset all evening as the two students had brewed. She gazed into his cauldron and was surprised to see that the potion had turned into a thick gray sludge.
"What happened?"
"I forgot the crocodile heart," he ground out.
"That's not like you." She looked up at him and noted he looked miserable.
"Hey, it's okay. People flub up potions all the time."
"Not me!"
"Let's forget about this potion for now. Come sit down and talk with me."
"I have nothing to say."
"Humor me."
Looking furious, he took the seat in front of her desk. Hermione sat down in her place.
"Talk to me. Why are you so frazzled."
He eyed her. "I do not wish to speak about this. I already told you that."
"I know, but sometimes it's good to get things that are bothering you off your chest."
"I have dealt with this for a long time now. I am used to it," he snapped.
"It's about Lily, right?"
He narrowed his eyes at her. "What do you even know about it?"
Hermione leaned back and folded her arms in front of her. "We've discussed your love for her. I know some things about your past together, but not everything. You were reluctant to discuss this as a painting. What I know came out before you died."
"So… what is it you know?"
"Well, you were friends with her even before coming to Hogwarts. You grew up in the same town, right?"
He gave a crisp nod.
"You had a falling out in fifth-year. She got angry and hasn't spoken to you since."
He sighed and looked to the floor. "I was horrible to her. She has every right to avoid me. But now we are forced to work together. I can tell she's uncomfortable. I am, too. I'm just not sure how we can concentrate and get our assignments done when we are the only two in the room! It's different in classes. We stay away from each other. There are many other students that we use as a buffer. There is no buffer here."
"I'm sorry, Severus. It wasn't my idea to ask Lily to be a part of this. Professor Slughorn felt she was the second best in the class."
"Today, all I could think of was what happened in fifth-year. I couldn't concentrate. I messed up that potion because I was compromised by my thoughts."
"Tell me what happened back then."
He rose and began to pace. "No! It was horrid. Unforgivable. There's nothing I can do to take it back, and nothing I can do to make it better."
"Severus…"
He stopped mid-stride and looked over at her.
"I know pretty much what happened."
"How do you know all this? You said I didn't speak of it as a portrait. Did I tell you before I died? Why would I do such a thing, especially to you?"
"What do you mean, especially me?"
"You are Muggle-born, just like she is. What I said to her is as disgusting and offensive to you as it was to her."
"I would have been upset had you called me that, but given the circumstances…"
"What is it you think you know, and how do you know it?" he demanded.
She furrowed her brow. "I don't think I should go into great detail, but it came out publicly before you died."
"Why would I divulge that to anyone?"
"It was relevant at the time."
His eyes narrowed at her. "What do you know?"
She sighed. "James Potter and Sirius Black were attacking you. They hung you upside down and pulled your trousers off. Lily tried to come to your rescue, and you yelled at her. Is that how it went?"
"Pretty much. As I hung there, I pushed my robes away from my face and could see Lily in the background. I wasn't fully concentrating on her, obviously, but when she came up to tell Potter off, she smirked before she said anything."
"What?"
"She smirked. Between feeling utterly embarrassed and having my friend laugh at me before defending me… I lost it. I called her that evil word, and she never forgave me."
"Hey…"
His eyes met hers.
"She should have forgiven you. And she most certainly should not have smirked."
"Well, she did. I guess it was funny to her to see me being humiliated."
"Why are you so upset by her not speaking to you when she treated you so horribly?"
"All she did was laugh. She didn't call me terrible names. She didn't make fun of me… until I called her… that."
Hermione got up and came around her desk, kneeling in front of him. She squeezed his leg.
"You both were at fault. You need to associate blame where it's due. No true friend smiles when their friend is bullied by others. Merlin, I can't believe she'd do that."
His eyes met hers, and he grit his teeth together. "But it doesn't matter that she did that. This was my fault. I called her something unforgivable, and she has not forgiven me. I destroyed our friendship!"
"Look, I'm sorry you lost your friend, but it wasn't all your fault. She could have forgiven you."
"Would you have forgiven me had I been your friend and called you that?"
"Severus, do you not understand what friendship is? People fight in friendships, they say stupid things, but they work to get over their differences because they care about one another."
He leaned in and came close to her face. "Those are disagreements, not ugly epithets that are meant to only hurt."
"Is that really what you meant to do, Severus? Hurt her?"
"At the time, yes."
"Why?"
His shoulders sagged. "Because she saw me in my pants. Because she thought that was funny. I wanted to strike back at her, and I didn't want her helping me if she was going to laugh at me inwardly."
She reached up and squeezed his arm quickly. "You had every right to be annoyed with her. The thing is, even if she hadn't smirked, I can understand you wanting her to leave. You shouldn't have said what you did, but she should have understood that."
"It was unforgivable."
"Please stop saying that. There is little in this life that is unforgivable."
"You are Muggle-born. How would you have felt in this situation?"
"I wouldn't have laughed in the first place because you would have been my friend. As for what you said… I would have been incredibly cheesed off." Her eyes met his. "And hurt because I was only trying to help. I probably would not speak with you for a bit."
"See…"
"I'm not done."
He arched a brow at her before looking away in embarrassment.
"Ultimately, I would have talked it out with you and found out your thoughts at that moment. I can understand the deep embarrassment you must have felt. We would have talked about that, and how your reaction, despite being somewhat understandable, was wrong. And as long as you were sorry, I would have forgiven you."
"How could you ever forgive something so awful."
"Because you're not awful. And there were reasons why it happened, and you regretted it from the moment it left your lips."
"But what I said…"
"We already discussed that. I would have forgiven you."
"Then why couldn't she?" he asked bitterly.
"I don't know… I don't know. Did anything change between you two before that? Was your friendship still strong?"
He shook his head. "No. She hated my friends, and I hated hers. We ignored it for years, but that last year… our fifth… she seemed to nag me about spending time with them. She only came around when she had nothing better to do with her friends. I felt us growing apart, but I denied it in my mind. Then this happened."
"It sounds like she was looking for a reason to cut ties."
His eyes met hers, then moved back down to the floor. He sighed.
"It does."
Hermione reached out and shook his arm again.
"I'm sorry. I wish this had turned out differently. It's not fair to you, especially since James and Sirius were being so foul. I swear, Severus, had I been there, they would have been hexed into tomorrow no matter how much you complained about me helping out."
He studied her, his eyebrows knit together. She didn't avoid his gaze. If he wanted to read her mind, she would let him. She didn't feel him do so. He'd just been trying to figure out if what she said was the truth.
"You would have, wouldn't you?" he remarked finally.
She nodded and gave him a small smile.
He nodded at her in response. "Thank you. For all this time, I always thought that her response was justified, that she had every right to act the way she did."
"She had every right to be angry, Severus. She should have forgiven you, though."
He nodded and looked away.
"Are you going to be all right?" Hermione asked.
He nodded slowly.
"Working here with Lily… you'll be able to handle that?"
He nodded again.
"Look at me," Hermione asked.
He turned his head, and his eyes met hers.
"You are worthy of being forgiven, Severus Snape."
She could see he was fighting to hold in his emotions. He couldn't say anything. She knew he thought he might expose his feelings. He simply nodded.
She stood.
"Good. I'll see you tomorrow. You can remake that contraceptive potion you cocked up so badly today."
He looked away. "It won't happen again, Professor Granger."
"I'm sure it won't. Have a good night, Mr. Snape."
Severus stood, collected his things, and left the room quickly. Hermione watched him go.
He was so wound up, keeping everything in. She was surprised that he'd opened up to her at all, but glad that he had. She hoped the things she had said had truly helped. At least she felt he would think about what had been said. Hopefully, it made a difference.
