Summary: Hermione and Severus talk about the past, and Severus makes a decision.
A/N: Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoy this chapter.
Chapter 6
The next night, Severus brewed his potion without any issues while Lily worked on a potion of her own creation. She bit her lip as she glanced over at Hermione.
"Professor?"
"Yes, Miss Evans?"
"For this potion, I'm unsure what to use to help make this potent."
Hermione rose and came over to her.
"So, this is based on the wound-cleaning potion, right?"
Lily nodded.
"And you're trying to transpose it into a wound-healing potion?"
"Yes."
"Mr. Snape, do you have the ability to leave your potion for a minute and come figure this out with us?"
Severus' eyes grew wide, but he moved over to the two of them, looking into Lily's cauldron.
"What have you put in there already?" he asked.
"I've started with the Wigginbush and added the Iguana blood."
"So, you have the base, but you want to alter it to be able to not only clean wounds but heal them?"
Lily nodded. Hermione watched the two try and reason it out.
"So, the fireflies come next and help with cleansing the wound. I think you should keep them in."
Lily nodded. "But what can we put in to induce it to heal?"
Severus snapped his fingers. "Powdered cockroach," he replied. "They will work with the fireflies and Iguana blood, and their healing qualities are probably just what you want for this."
Lily's eyes snapped up to his. "That's brilliant, Severus. I would have never thought of that."
Severus gave her a small, shy smile. Hermione nodded and withdrew.
"Good work," she called over her shoulder as she moved back to her desk.
Severus gave Lily a few more pointers in adding the cockroach powder and then retreated back to his desk. He missed Lily's gaze as she watched him return there, but Hermione saw it and hoped it meant that things wouldn't be so chilly between the two from now on.
Once they had both finished up what they were doing, Lily left, but Severus hung back.
"You've been reluctant to tell me how I died," he said suddenly.
Hermione's eyes grew wide at his comment. "It's not that I've been reluctant. I just wanted us to have a little better friendship before talking about it."
"Well, I feel we are friends now."
She smiled at him. "Yes, I think so, too. Do you want to discuss it now?"
He nodded. "I have been mulling over my death for days now. I wasn't old. I want to know what happened."
She motioned at her student chair, and he settled into it, placing his backpack between his feet.
"It's not a happy story, as you can probably imagine, but you need to know it all because I'm hoping that my traveling back here can save your life."
He arched a brow. "Really?"
She nodded. "I suppose I should start with your taking the Mark."
Severus unconsciously reached out to his arm.
"Have you taken it already?" she asked.
He shook his head. "What does that have to do with anything?"
"You're not stupid, Severus, how could taking the Mark cause you to die at a young age?"
"I can think of several ways."
She gave him a crisp nod.
"You took the Mark and then about a year and a half later, you heard part of a prophecy about someone who could vanquish Voldemort. You brought it to your Master, and he deduced from what the prophecy said that it was talking about the son of James and Lily Potter."
"Wait… what?"
"Lily marries James, and they have a child. A child who is prophesied to be able to defeat Voldemort. He realizes he needs to act now and kill the baby so the boy doesn't become a threat."
Severus was looking at her in horror.
"You beg him to save Lily, and he says he will, but you're not sure that he'll live up to his promise so you ask Dumbledore to help you. He asks you to spy against Voldemort in return. Voldemort winds up killing both of Harry's parents. Lily's sacrifice protects Harry, and when Voldemort goes to kill him, the spell backfires, and he disappears. Everyone thinks he's dead."
"I cause Lily's death?"
"I wouldn't agree with that statement, but because you tell Voldemort about the prophecy, he kills them. It's on him, Severus. Not you. But you spend the rest of your life trying to make amends for it. You spy for Dumbledore, staying with the Death Eaters and fighting against them secretly."
"But Voldemort is killed. Why would I…"
"He's created Horcruxes. Do you know what they are?"
"I've heard of them. They hold a part of your soul, right?"
She nodded. "He made six, and an extra when he went to kill Harry, Lily's son. He became a Horcrux, too, embedding a part of Voldemort's soul within his body. Voldemort used the Horcruxes to come back in my fourth year. You went deep undercover then."
"I can't believe I will kill Lily."
"Well, it hasn't happened yet. Maybe you can change my history."
"I intend to."
Hermione smiled wanly and shook her head at him. "Of course. I'm not surprised at all that you will try. I hope you succeed. In any case, the war went on. Voldemort gained more power. He took over the Ministry and made you Headmaster of Hogwarts."
"Wait, what happened to Dumbledore? Did he retire?"
"Not exactly." She looked away, trying to figure out how to tell him the next part.
"What happened to him, then?"
"He was trying to destroy one of Voldemort's Horcruxes and it cursed him. You did all you could, extending his life but for no more than a year. Meanwhile, Voldemort commanded Lucius Malfoy's son to kill the Headmaster. Dumbledore told you to do it instead so you would save Draco from injuring his soul and to ensure your place in the Death Eater organization."
"So, Dumbledore cared not for my soul?"
"I don't know. You told me as a portrait that he thought because it would be a mercy killing, your soul wouldn't be damaged in any way."
Severus' lips thinned, but he nodded for her to continue.
"You've heard of the Deathly Hallows?"
"Hasn't everyone? Great bedtime stories for kids."
"Dumbledore's wand is the Elder wand."
"Pardon?"
"He has the true Elder Wand."
"But that's a fairy tale!"
"That's true, and I had a hard time with it as well, but believe me; it's the Elder wand. Voldemort knows this. Once you kill Dumbledore, he breaks into his tomb and steals the wand. Unfortunately, it doesn't work the way he expects. He thinks that you are the master of the Elder wand because you killed Dumbledore, but he didn't realize that Draco had disarmed Dumbledore before that and had become its owner. Then Harry had disarmed Draco, so was actually the true owner of the Elder wand. Anyway, despite you being his right-hand man, he killed you to get the wand's allegiance."
"So, a senseless death, then."
She regarded him thoughtfully. "Perhaps on the surface, but you did more for the war effort than anyone. Your spy work made it possible for us to win. Your protection of Harry throughout his life helped him to be able to defeat Voldemort. You are a hero, Severus, and as far as I'm concerned, we would have lost without all you did."
He sat quietly for a while, absorbing everything. Finally, he sighed.
"But I killed my friend and my mentor."
"As I said, you didn't kill Lily. And honestly, if you hadn't heard that prophecy, some other Death Eater would have, and her story would have remained the same."
"That doesn't make it okay!"
"No, it doesn't, but you paid for your mistake every day of your life, taking your life in your hands every time you appeared before Voldemort."
His shoulders sagged. "At least I was able to make amends."
"And I'm here now to tell you what happened. I'm hoping that things will change, and you will not take the Mark, therefore keeping you very much alive."
"Even if I don't take the Mark, there's no guarantee that I won't be killed in some other way."
Hermione sat back in defeat. "I know. There's no guarantee, but please don't take that Mark. It will give you a chance to live."
They sat quietly, each staring at the other. The minutes ticked away. Finally, Severus rose, grabbing his backpack.
"I need to think about all of this. I'm appalled at my behavior, and I'm not really sure what is the best thing to do. I'll let you know what I decide."
"Okay. Please consider carefully. Abandon your desires to join Voldemort, Severus. I want you alive when I get back."
"That's not the only option. As I said, I'll let you know."
She nodded at him. "Good night, then."
He left, and she immediately began to worry. What if everything she said had fallen on deaf ears? What if he took the Mark to try and do something terrible to Voldemort to keep him from killing Lily but got himself killed instead? Merlin, maybe her coming back here had been a very bad idea. But Severus had sent her back. He must have suspected that something good must come of it, or he'd not have bothered.
oooOOOooo
It took a couple of days for Severus to get back to Hermione. Every day, she would see him in class and arch a brow. He would give a subtle shake of his head, and she would leave it be. She never brought it up when he was in the lab. She knew he'd talk to her when the time was right.
He stayed late one night after Lily and he had been in the lab, working together on each other's potions. Her wound healer was coming along, but the trials on those who had memory loss weren't working, so he was back trying to make sure he'd brewed everything correctly and that his additions were the proper ones. Lily was helping him to decide what could change in the potion to help those suffering from all kinds of memory loss.
He came up to Hermione's desk after Lily had left. Sitting in the chair in front of her, he arched a brow.
"Hello," she said with a smirk.
"Hi."
They stared at one another for a minute before Severus cleared his throat.
"Thank you for giving me the time to figure out what I should do about all you told me."
She nodded and awaited his response.
"I went to see Dumbledore this morning."
He held up his hand to stop her, as she'd opened her mouth to say something.
"I didn't tell him anything about the future. I did say that in talking to you, I had decided not to join with the Dark Lord because I didn't agree with his true motivations."
"What did he say?"
"He asked why I was telling him all of this. I told him that I wanted to spy for him. I will take the Mark as a spy from the beginning."
"Oh, Severus… no. You'll have the same horrid life. You could be killed at any time."
He shrugged. "You emphasized that you didn't think we would have won the war without my efforts. I can't see staying out of it, and what better way to make a difference than to go in as a spy from the start? I've already built friendships with those who are followers of the Dark Lord, or who will be. They all trust me. It's the perfect solution."
Hermione frowned. "I wouldn't call it perfect."
He gave her an annoyed look. "Then what would you have me do?"
"I would have you never take that Mark and survive, Severus."
"There's no telling what will happen to me. I have already changed the timeline with my decision."
She fell back into her chair. "But what if you wind up dead anyway? My trip back here would have been for nothing."
She blinked her eyes to fight back the tears that were forming in them.
"Are you tearing up?" Severus asked.
"Yes!"
"Why ever for?"
"I was looking forward to going back to my time and finding you alive, but now there's no telling what will happen! I could lose you here when I leave."
"Professor, I will do everything in my power to not die."
She wanted to scream that wasn't good enough, but he'd already made his decision, and the timeline had definitely changed. What would she find when she returned? Would Harry have parents? Would Severus be alive? Wiping the tears from her eyes, she resolved not to be petulant. She'd gotten what she wanted, just not the way she wanted. Typical of life, really.
"Okay."
"Okay?" he repeated.
"Okay. You've made your decision. I just hope that it all works out."
"Me too."
