The Cut That Always Bleeds
Summary: She will always be the cut that always bleeds. He will always let her. Hinata endures, Sasuke knows she doesn't have to. Here's why exes should remain in the past.
Pairing: Naruto x Hinata x Sakura , Eventual Sasuke x Hinata
World: Alternate Universe, Modern Era without special abilities
I own nothing.
A/N: You guys, I posted last chapter and woke up with messages! Oh my, thank you so much for all your love. You make my heart swell! I am happy you guys are so far liking their 'humanized' characters. I hope you will stick until the end!
Warning. This chapter is a bit dark and heavy... Not my favorite, to be honest. But I think the story calls for a chapter like this.
Seven.
"You almost got me caught, Sakura!" Naruto laughed heartily, his right hand flying to his naked chest. He turns and takes her in, smile fading. She couldn't help but smile back, biting the inner lower lip as if suddenly shy. The yellow light dims above them, making a homey feel.
Sakura feels like she belonged.
It has been so long since.
She takes him in - starting from the blonde mop that used to be so unruly back when they were kids but now sits on his head with a semi-buzz cut, his tanned skin that seem never to even out - spreading through his torso leaving a map of yellow trailing downwards to where the sun hasn't or at least she thinks reached - she swallows with a dry throat. Oh, and his hard...hard abs or so how it looks like that leaves nothing to imagination given how well outlined his muscles underneath his skin is (he can even probably be used as an example in a muscular system class!) with his arms littered with veins popping here and there - probably a medical technician's dream to poke a needle and just suck blood out of his strong strong arms... she blinks. What?
He blinks back, eyes tired from the strain. He just wants to lie down but sleeping would be just a concept when she leaves, it seems as if these days he feels like something is always missing. Perhaps she takes his ability to rest when she leaves, it's always when she's gone. He breathes out a soundless sigh. It was a long day for him and to come home to an empty apartment was - well, not something he looked forward to. So when Sakura messaged him telling him she could help him with his surprise for Hinata, he didn't have the heart to say no. It was something else to do, something to make him tired - right?
It was a huge disaster, to say the least - but they got it right in the end. He thinks, at least that's what he thinks a proper cinnamon bun should taste like.
He takes her in. Sakura had remained the same. Her pink hair remained the same length and same shade, her skin still as fair as he remembers her, perhaps even the same weight? Nothing seemed to change in Sakura, it was as if just yesterday... as if just yesterday they were... nevermind. But something was off, like a missing puzzle. There was something different he just couldn't pinpoint. Are her eyes different? How so though, he thinks... she's not wearing contacts or glasses or... but there was something about her eyes.
And clothes. He blinks, his smile now faded completely, changing to a shy tug.
"Hmm.. Sakura, can you use the other ah..shirt instead?" He chuckles shyly, his hand now scratching the back of his head like his old habit. Sakura blinks at him, what?
"Well uh that's Hinata's favorite shirt, I mean...she might look for it, when she comes back"
"Oh. OH! Okay! Uhm," Sakura swallows with a dry throat, "Is there uhm a shirt you don't use that I can uhm borrow? My shirt is too wet and dirty"
Ino comes into the picture with her apron now not anywhere sight, hands and face finally rid of the cinnamon dust. "I swear Naruto, you better perfect it when she comes home. I did not miss my hair appointment for this."
Naruto laughs again, this time pulling an old shirt from his dresser and hands it to Sakura. He gives Ino and nod, "Thanks to you we finally got it right. Thanks for coming by too when I called. Don't worry, I'll be practicing!"
The blonde combed her long tresses with her newly manicured hands, glancing slightly at the disappointed pinkette.
She told her so.
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Another puff of smoke escaped her lips and a sad frown formed after. It didn't have to end the way it did, she thought. She sighed again. Her short pink hair danced in the cold windy night, stealing away the smoke of her cigarette.
She hated cigarettes. She hated the red flags, health wise, that these cigarette sticks she burns her lungs with brings. She hates that she's turning into someone she promised not to be. She exhales, smoke curling just above her. Oh but how she loves how much he hated it when she smoked. She hates it, she inhales again.
Oh what she wouldn't give to not feel this ache again - ever, again. She blinks away the tears that threatened to fall. She shouldn't be feeling this, she shouldn't really. This was nothing but jealousy. Jealous that he gets to move on first. Jealous that he finds happiness first. Jealous... of her. How he talks about her, thinks about her, remembers her. Suddenly out of her zen, thin pale fingers snatches the cigarette from her mouth throwing it under her, stomping over it...
With ragged breathing she curls down, her head on her arms. Oh what she wouldn't give.
"It's been three years since. I shouldn't be feeling like this" She tells herself and wipes her face, smudging tobacco remnants on her cold skin. She hates the smell, she does it anyway.
A light 'tsk' comes from behind her. Sakura remembers she wasn't alone.
"You shouldn't. You really shouldn't be. You have to move on, you know. Naruto's happy and heck forehead, you're dating Lee. You can't be crying over another guy."
Sakura nods. But I don't love Lee.
"Plus," Ino sighed again, getting another stick from their almost empty stash, "You haven't been this sad for a long time, you know. I mean, you've been like this since we had a sleepover at my parent's beach house"
Sakura looks at her friend and Ino takes her features in. Her hair and her face were almost the same shade of pink; face flushed and a little bit plump from smoking, her eyes and the tip of her button nose stark raw from her crying, her skin a bit flaky with the irritation from the cold weather - but over all, Ino mused, Sakura is beautiful even if she doesn't agree ever so verbally. Ino sat on the small bench next to Sakura's rubber plant, tapping the empty side for Sakura to sit on.
Sakura curled next to Ino, her eyes tearing up again with her right hand extended as she let her new cigarette burn with the air.
"He talks about her," she chokes on a lump on her throat, "like how I talked about him before. You - you know how in love he is. It's like... it's like..." But Sakura doesn't finish her sentence and chokes up. Her old burning cigarette forgotten on the tile beneath, she folds up.
"You're weird, forehead.. You didn't even like the idiot when we were kids" Ino mumbled, reminiscing.
"I know"
"Maybe you just... hate the fact that he found a really nice girl, you know"
"What are you talking about," Sakura nudges, bringing the cancer stick back to her lips looking at Ino with a 'are you kidding me' face, "she's a fucking saint"
"But it's not like it's her faul-"
"I was his saint"
Ino sighs, head lolling back reminiscing again. It wasn't like this then. They were happy. She thinks back, if being truthfully honest, Naruto and Sakura were perfect. It wasn't like their relationship was ever forced - it wasn't. It was sweet, it was new. Young. Ino recalls, there was no day he didn't pursue her and there were days Sakura would just let him on. But thinking about it, it was never Naruto who gave up. Despite all the troubles he did and went through, despite all the sadness she let him experience - it was never him who gave up. Until the day he finally did - and since then, there was just no turning back.
"Yes, I remember. Yes, you were."
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Her back rests heavily on her small bath tub. She's cold and freezing from her now cold bath that is taking longer thanks to the hardheaded tobacco that she just couldn't scrub off from her skin. Her pale sickly skin. She blinks. She scrubs harder. She wants to be pink, she wants to be a healthy pale! She wants to be just like her. She scrubs harder, forearm red under the loofa she grates on. The water in the tub dances from her action, spilling here and there until she stops.
What has she been doing?
A tired throaty giggle escapes her lips. What have I been doing?
He loved me first. I was there first.
Memories from childhood flashes before her eyes. They were just kids. What did they know? She remembers he sought her first, she wasn't even interested in the first place - but he sought her first. She blinks, a little smile forming on her lips remembering how patient he was that time he first held her hands in a manner more than friends. How he used to snuck out of his grandpa's house just to walk her to and from wherever she would go. How he would never forget to bring her flowers, her favorite pink roses, on her birthdays and every first Monday of each month. How he would take care of her when she was sick. How she would take care of him when he's sick. How he would surprise her, despite his very little allowance saved in Gama-chan, whenever he feels like it. How he used to steal kisses from her. Oh there was that time he picked her up from her flight from a local flight with flowers and balloons! Sakura lets out a heaved laugh. It was just a local flight!
How he would fold all her small letters into a heart and put them in a box, her memories let on. How he would proudly paste her drawings on his walls and how he doodled on hers.
And then with a strangled bitter laugh she remembers. She remembers how at that time, she still thought all that he did was not enough, wanting to take a leap at freedom, wanting to just... be. How she tested the steady waters.
How he let her be.
And how she fell into her own puddle.
What she wouldn't give to have another chance.
She inhales, slipping under the cold water of her bath waiting for her lungs to adjust.
What she wouldn't give.
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Naruto stares at his phone. He was tired and he will be back on duty again early in the morning. But he can't sleep, not yet at least. Stifling another big yawn, he turns to his back feeling in the emptiness of his bed. He looks again at the on going call, why won't she pick up?
His eyes follows the outline of the bed, fingers trailing where she would have slept. A frown forms on his handsome face, why won't she answer?
He waits for another hour, call still not going through. Where is she?
He waits longer, he can't sleep. He won't sleep. He has to know she's safe, that she's okay. His hand goes up to his forehead, he's running a fever. He closes his eyes, waiting for the humming of his phone for her to pick up. He misses her curled body next to him, how she would take care of her when he's sick - like he is now... It really suit her, playing doctor, he thinks.. how she would make chicken broth the way only she could, how she could stay up making sure he is taken care of.. he blinks as if thinking of a very distant memory.
It wasn't even that distant.
Naruto fingers through his scalp. He's too tired to think.
But then the call picks up, he hears first the splashing of wild water from her tub, a sniff and a tumble of a razor probably falling off the edge before he brings his phone to his face.. eyes lighting up in a tired tired smile.
"Hey"
"Naruto"
"I miss you. I just... I just want to say that I miss you"
She hums, it was music to his ears. She watches how slow his eyes closes, eyes red from the strain and lack of sleep - knowing only the way she knows.
"Are you..are you sick?"
He hums, nodding. "You always know when I am"
Splashing of tub water as she moves, drying her fingers this time with a towel hanging a feet from her.
"Sorry, I.. I fell asleep in the tub"
It gets his attention, eyes wide from worry. "No, no. Please get up. Get up. Just tuck yourself in your bed" He barely holds his tongue from lecturing her that he had so many bad encounters with people falling asleep in their tubs and not making their next breath.
She sniffs and nods, she feels a cold creeping up too.
"I... I really miss you."
"Me too. I miss you too"
She recognizes this face, the face only he can make. Sad blue eyes as if moving her through the camera.
"I'll..I'll see you soon?"
"Hmmm"
"There's medicine on top of the fridge, that's where you leave it right?"
"Hmm" he nods, humming just hearing her voice.
"Naruto, take your medicine"
"You, don't sleep in your tub"
"I won't... but take your medicine."
"But I want you to take care of me, you know" She stands from her tub, camera still on her face, her other hand taking the towel and drying her face. She has finally rid herself of today's smoke and whatnots.
"I know...but you know I can't.. now"
"I know"
He lets out a loud sigh, she could only imagine it would be hot.
"When you're...when you're not here... It's hard"
She hmms, taking it that he was still in line with her. This time she gets to loop the robe around her midsection, that will do - she stands on the counter despite the cold. What else was she to feel, anyway? A not so gentle pull tugs her heart a centimeter down.
"I.. I really miss you." he tells her again, this time a whisper. He was falling asleep.
"I really do too, Naruto" she almost chokes up another sob.
"But tonight, I'm tired. I can't even enumerate the things I had to do today you know, to not think of you... cause when I do I.. I dunno, it..I get sad" he palms his sleepy face, feeling his temperature - he really should be taking medicine. He rises, walks to his sad refrigerator and takes the medicine box, popping an effervescent oral hydrite in an already used cup still halfway filled with water. He swallows a multi-vitamins and a paracetamol, gulping altogether hoping his little potion would do the work.
He walks back to his bed, phone still head level. He takes her in. Her pale face, hair clinging all over her face. Beautiful.
What he wouldn't do.
"I know you have a lot to tell me but I'm.. I'm sorry I'm too tired tonight"
She hums, not trusting her voice to still.
"I miss you it's making me sick" he laughs, she misses the tear that slips from his right eye. Was he that sleepy or was he sad? He himself couldn't tell.
"Well.. that's not good" he hears her say. "No," he agrees, "it's not good"
"I see.. I better see you soon then?"
"You better"
She hums again, not minding the drumming between her ribs, the questions she can't ask, the coldness beneath her robe.
"You better... I miss you, Hinata. I love you.." he smiles, a thumb caressing the screen of his phone, turning to his side, letting the device bounce and fall a little bit. "I love you. I just.. had to know you're safe back to your hotel"
"I am.. I'm safe. Thank you for uhm.. checking up on me"
"Hmmm, I love you."
She hums for the nth time she lost count.
The phone call ends and she takes the phone in her hands and places it on the countertop. Hinata palms her face, scrunching the skin pulling here and there.
What she wouldn't give to shake this feeling off of her. She smells still the smoke from the barbecue, she looks at her now cold bath.
She'll just leave the scrubbing in the morning.
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A/N: I just want to get this chapter off my list already! I know this chapter is a bit of a let down and you were all expecting Sasuke and Hinata, but I think that's just something we will be looking forward to next!
To KissMyAss, I see that you have gotten as far as chapter 6. Thank you for reading it even if you left flames! To Darth Tenibris2, I hope you find your perfect story in this app. We all have our bars, I just hope we don't berate people based on a very subjective opinion of what a good/decent story is.
I have no regrets making my characters the way they are. I think it's but human that we see ourselves lesser than how and who we are especially when we're jealous/threatened/intimidated. Also for the smoking part, it's really part of the story, sorry. I know it's difficult to imagine them with cigarettes but, there's a point in all those. I hope I can pinpoint the details I put, but where's the fun in that?
To my readers and reviewers, thank you for all the love, really! I pray for all of you!
