DISCLAIMER: SKIP BEAT! and its associated characters are the creations of Yoshiki Nakamura. This author claims no ownership of Skip Beat or any of its characters. All other rights reserved.
Author's Note: The word for this one is "Slimy." This takes place sometime after Ch. 303.
So…I kinda have food poisoning. I can't sleep because my head spins when I lay down, and I can't eat anything because it comes right back up. So I'm just sitting here at 5 in the morning writing a one-shot because I don't have the brainpower to work on Daughter of Kyoto Ch. 19 right now. Daughter of Kyoto chapters are hard! Fluff is easy. I do apologize for the delay on that update, but in the meantime…here's a one-shot!
Slime Mountain
"You're going on the show," Lory was saying. "And no, I'm not changing my mind on this one."
I'm doomed, Ren thought. He'd had a free weekend, possibly a weekend in which he could manufacture an excuse to see Kyoko again. But instead, he would be filming a "celebrity edition" of Survive! Ultimate Extreme Challenge. He groaned. Survive! was one of those obstacle-style game shows, the kind that made their contestants run gauntlets or wade through pits of mud in massive sumo-wrestler-style bodysuits. He was doing it for LME's sake, because there was no way in hell he would ever volunteer for something like this.
Ren knew escape was impossible once he saw the look on Lory's face. Loyal Yashiro had protested the assignment, saying that Ren's gentlemanly image would be tarnished by such an outing, but the President just smirked and looked at Ren.
"How could the Tsuraga Ren, most gifted action actor in Japan, fail at such a challenge?" Lory asked laconically. Ren heard Lory's taunts in his head without the President having to say them out loud. "Tsuruga Ren, who'd studied martial arts as soon as he could walk?" Lory seemed to say. Tsuruga Ren who casually jumps off of the second story and manages to land on his feet? Lory was refusing to let him off the hook. "He'll look even cooler after he finishes the obstacle course," Lory had said. "You know he will. And as an added inducement, you'll be pleased to know that the opposing team will have none other than Sho Fuwa as a member."
That got Ren's attention. Lory knew him too well by now, knew that he'd had his own altercations with the guy. He gritted his teeth. "Fine," he said, "but I don't like it."
"Give it a chance." Lory blew a smoke ring off of the cigar he was smoking. "You might surprise yourself."
=.=.=.=
And now he was waiting for the show to begin. Apparently there would be two teams of two, competing against each other. He had no idea idea of who his partner was going to be—of course, it could be possible that they would be from a different agency, and he'd have to figure out how best to get them across the finish line with him. He didn't even know if it would be a guy or a girl, no way of know—
Oh, he thought. Oh. A flash of telltale pink made its way past the pile of giant soccer balls. So this is what Lory's planning. The man was truly devious. Or deviant. Or both. Of course he'd know that sending Kyoko to this filming would make things interesting. "Mogami-san!" he called out.
The flash of pink turned towards him. "Tsuruga-san?" Kyoko asked. "Shachou sent me on this LoveMe assignment. He said I needed to fill in as a contestant?"
"Yeah. 'Celebrity edition Survival!'" Ren said. He couldn't help the smile on his face. "We're partners." Of course they were partners. Could he expect any less from Lory?
"Oh," Kyoko said. A tinge of pink was beginning to color her cheeks. "So…it's that show…"
"With the obstacle courses, yeah," he said. "But I think we can do it."
"Yes," Kyoko said, "I think Tsuruga-san can definitely win—"
"Let's make it a team effort, Mogami-san. We'll both cross the finish line. They award extra points if you arrive together, and—"
They were interrupted by the sound of a loud, high-pitched voice. "Sho!" Mimori was screaming. "I don't want to! I'll get all muddy and fall and…and…"
"What do you want me to do about it?" Sho replied. "Akatoki signed us up for this. If you didn't want to do this, you should've had your agent try to do something about it."
"But…but.." they heard Mimori say, "I just wanted to spend time with Sho-kun." She was pouting.
It was right then that Sho noticed Ren. "Well, well, well," he said. "If it isn't the elevator-shoe-wearing no-talent actor." And right beside him, Kyoko. "And Kyoko. What, are they going to make you clean the mud off of those elevator shoes? That's all a plain girl like you can do, right?"
"SHOUTAAROOOO!" Kyoko was revving up her grudges, but Ren quickly came up behind her, placing a protective hand on her shoulder.
"Good to see you too, Fuwa-san," Ren said. He was smiling his gentleman's smile, blinding everyone behind Sho. But he put a tinge of menace into his words. "And just so you know, Mogami-san is my partner today."
"I thought this was 'celebrity' Survival!" Sho said. "Seems a little sad having a no-name actress represent LME."
"We'll see you after you run the first obstacle course," Ren said. "Ganbatte, ne?" He was already turning away with Kyoko. No reason to subject either one of them to Sho's toxicity.
Soon enough they were herded into their respective starting spots, gave their requisite interviews, and the filming started. Ren was looking over at Kyoko and realized, slowly, that she was viewing the upcoming obstacle course with what seemed like…excitement? "Mogami-san?" he asked.
"Uesagi-san had me do a lot of balance and agility exercises," she said. "And the stunt experts taught me how to be a kunoichi. I won't be a burden to you, Tsuruga-san."
"You could never be a burden to me," he replied, softly so that no one else could hear. "And if you fall, I'll catch you."
"Tsuruga-san?"
"Hmm?"
"Let's cross the finish line together." She looked up at him with her earnest golden eyes.
Ren smiled at her and offered her a hand to shake on it. He couldn't help it. Who else at LME could possibly match her as a kunoichi? Who else could he possibly win this challenge with?
"Welcome to Survival! Ultimate Extreme Challenge," Motomi, the show's host, was quite excited. Tsuruga Ren and Sho Fuwa, going head-to-head on this episode! How exciting. It sounded like their studio audience was excited, too, once they found out who would be competing today. "Our celebrity teams will be competing for the chance to donate to their favorite charity. There are two rounds: the first is the obstacle course that you see behind me. The second is a climb up our very own Slime Mountain! That's right, a mountain made of slime. And some hope if you fall on the obstacle course! Even if you fall, you'll have a chance to redeem yourself at the Mountain. Winners of the obstacle course will receive a time bonus and a head start." Motomi paused and winked. "Now remember, this is a special episode of Survival! Today's episode features a twenty-percent increase on the final charity donation if you cross the finish line with your partner! Ready?"
"YES!" all four of them screamed enthusiastically. Not that we could do any less, Ren thought. He had a feeling the producers would make them take the shot again if their responses were lackluster.
"Audience, let's give them a round of applause!"
The audience dutifully roared, and they were off.
Sho and Mimori won the coin toss to run the obstacle course first, approaching the maze of neon-painted structures poised over a muddy pond with some trepidation. Predictably, Mimori fell into the muddy pond at the first obstacle—a narrow, brightly colored beam with large, man-sized arms crossing it at intervals. Anyone getting the rhythm wrong would be inevitably knocked off the beam and into the water. Sho just managed to make it, wobbling and gasping and almost-but-not-quite-falling, but when he was done he smirked over at Kyoko, who merely looked on placidly. She was above his goading now. Mimori was disqualified for the rest of that round, but Sho managed to make it two-thirds of the way to the end, failing, finally, at the obstacle that required him to balance over rotating logs while being pelted with massive foam balls. Kyoko rolled her eyes as he ran his hands over his gelled hair and pouted at the camera.
"Well," Ren said. "Shall we show them how it's done?"
"Of course, Tsuruga-san. You are the most respected action star in Japan," she said, as if it were a universal truth.
"Do you want to go first, or shall I?"
Kyoko thought about it. If she went first and fell, then Tsuruga-san's triumph would be a great end to the first obstacle course. "I'll go," she said.
He looked over at her. He'd been watching the course as Mimori and Sho had run it, memorizing the rhythms of the various beams, balls, and what-have-yous that they threw at the contestants. "The ball and log sequence, where Sho fell," he said.
"I know." Kyoko was looking thoughtfully at the first stage. "The balls come in distinct intervals. 2-2-4-1," she said. "And the rotating wheel—"
"A three-count to avoid that whirling fan thing."
She looked up at him again, and for a brief second, they grinned at each other. Just like we did in Guam, he thought. But hopefully—well, he wasn't prepared to go there yet.
"I'll see you on the other side, Mogami-san. Ganbatte."
She nodded.
And she was magnificent. Whatever training Uesagi and the stuntmen had given her had clearly sunk in. Her time as Momiji had polished her reflexes and her native athleticism, and she pranced over the balance beam, spun to avoid the whirling fans on the rotating wheel, crossed a chasm by clinging onto dangling ropes, and ran over the rotating logs so quickly they never had a chance to dump her into the water. By the time she got to the glass wall, Ren knew she would make it.
"6 minutes and 34 seconds!" Motomi said when she finished. "Kyoko-chan, what an impressive showing! Tell me, how were you able to do that so well?"
Kyoko smiled for the camera and bowed elegantly. "Thank you for the compliments, Motomi-san," she said brightly. "As you know, I am playing a kunoichi in my latest project, Lotus in the Mire. The training certainly helped on this obstacle course!"
Ren grinned. She was learning so fast—learning how to promote her latest work, learning how to charm the camera. She'd come so far from that day when she'd followed Sawara home.
Soon it was his turn, and he wasn't about to disappoint. If he was honest with himself, he actually felt a little competitive. The fact that it was Kyoko only sharpened his desire to manage the obstacle course perfectly. Kyoko was looking at him on the other side of the muddy pit where all the 'losers' got dumped, a hint of challenge in her eyes. Very well then, he thought, and leapt onto the balance beam. He focused on speed, trusting his intuition and his prior observations, using his long stride to bound over the wheel, his long arms to propel him across the dangling rope, and over the rotating logs.
"4 minutes 19 seconds!" Motomi-san said. "Tsuruga-san, that was impressive! But perhaps not so surprising for the top action star in Japan."
"Well," Ren said, "I couldn't let my kohai stand on that platform over there all alone, could I?"
Motomi-san laughed. "Of course not! Tsuruga-san, you'll have a thirty-second head start on the next and final round! And Mogami-san, you'll have a twenty-second head start. But don't forget—if Sho-san and Mimori-chan get to the finish line ahead of you, they can steal the win!"
Here it was, then. They were led over to the last obstacle, a massive, man-made mountain covered in what looked to be lime-green slime. The mountain had small handholds on it, large enough to pull one's self up, large enough, perhaps, to support one's foot. If it were merely a climbing wall, it would have been easy. But it was the slickness of the slime that made it treacherous. Ren remembered watching several episodes of the show before showing up to film, watching as many, many contestants slid down to the bottom again and again. Getting to the top of the mountain was going to be quite an accomplishment. And even then, they still needed to get to the finish line accessible only by zipline at the top of the mountain. They were playing for charity today, though, and Ren was determined to grab that extra twenty percent with Kyoko.
"Ready?" Motomi-san asked. "Tsuruga Ren! You have a thirty-second head start! Go go go!"
Ren charged forward, again using his long limbs and jumping upwards to reach a handhold. His hand slipped. Oof, he thought, gotta be careful. He jumped again, this time making sure to grab as tightly as he could to the rocks. He realized that if he reached for the area where they were affixed to the wall, there were secret indentations where he could anchor his fingers. I wish I could tell Kyoko, he thought. Then he caught himself. Kyoko will figure it out. She always does.
"Kyoko-chan," Motomi-san was saying, "You have a twenty-second head start! Go go go!" And Ren saw Kyoko come onto the mountain out of the corner of his vision. He was already halfway up, though he knew the second half would be slower and more treacherous. The handholds got smaller closer to the top of the mountain. He turned and continued his climb.
"Sho-san, Mimori-chan! You may now climb the mountain! Remember, you can still steal the win! Go go go go!"
Sho and Mimori began their climb just as Ren was three-quarters of the way up. Kyoko herself was halfway up the slope already. Sho was cursing audibly, and by now, Mimori was whimpering. Soon enough, Ren had reached the top of the summit.
"Tsuruga-san has reached the top of Slime Mountain! Will he wait for Kyoko-chan and get that extra twenty percent?"
Ren smiled and nodded as Motomi said, "What a gentleman! Waiting for his kohai! An extra twenty perfect for their charity within reach!"
Kyoko was three-quarters of the way up now, with Sho huffing and puffing twenty feet or so below her. Ren watched as Mimori slipped and fell into the mud below. Sho didn't even look, and Ren felt a little sorry for the poor model. "Sorry, Mimori-chan! Osaki-ni!" Sho shouted at her. She landed with a splash down at the bottom, absolutely covered in mud and slime.
Kyoko was just a few feet away now, and Ren was anticipating grabbing a hand to get her onto the platform that formed the summit. After that it would be the two of them taking the ziplines out to the finish line, which they would cross side-by-side.
And then, to his surprise…she slipped. He saw the moment her eyes widened when she realized she'd failed to grip tightly enough, saw when she began to slide down, at first slowly as she tried to recover and hold onto a handhold and then accelerating as that, too, slipped from her hands.
"Oh no!" Motomi-san was screaming. "Kyoko-chan has slipped, and when she was so close, too! It's too bad, it's simply too bad!"
Ren's breath caught in his throat. The mountain itself was made of padded plastic, but she could still hit her head on one of the handholds. The pond had plenty of mud, but she was falling from high enough that there was a chance of serious injury—he couldn't sit there and simply watch her fall—he knew that other people had been seriously hurt on this show before—this was HIS KYOKO!
He calculated a trajectory to the ground and leapt, managing to catch her. Nothing was going to hurt her on his watch.
The studio audience gasped in surprise, some of them crying out.
"Tsuruga-san!" She was looking up at him, just as she had the first time he'd done this in his kitchen. This time, he was unapologetic about tightening his arms around her to hold her.
"I told you I'd catch you," he said.
Motomi-san was beside himself. "Tsuruga-san has just caught Kyoko-chan! Amazing! What a feat! Now you know it's not CGI when he does his stunts in movies! He's sacrificed the finish line! Sho-san, you have a real chance of winning now!"
Sho looked down, inching up to the platform. He was three-quarters of the way up, but he hazarded a look down.
It cost him, as he slipped but managed to catch himself a few feet below.
At the bottom of the mountain, Ren was looking at Kyoko and Kyoko was looking at Ren. They were covered, absolutely covered in mud and slime. Ren started laughing first, and then Kyoko joined him as he moved to wipe some slime off of Kyoko's face. "We can still make it," he said, watching Sho clamber up the side of the mountain.
"Eh?" Kyoko said. "Tsuruga-san, I think you can make it—don't let that cockroach win!"
"No. I meant we." He crouched down, his back to her. "Quick, get on my back," he said. "I'm sure you could beat him, too, but I'm taller and I can use my reach to my advantage and we need all the advantages we can get."
"Oh? What's this? Are Kyoko-chan and Tsuruga-san going to go for it after all? Starting from the bottom of the mountain! A valiant attempt to catch up to Sho-san and win money for their charity! Everyone, let's give them a round of applause!"
The audience went wild as Kyoko blushed and sheepishly climbed onto Ren's back. "You'll have to keep your legs tucked up," he said, "because I'll need both hands for the handholds."
Kyoko nodded. This was embarrassing in the extreme, but she wasn't about to let Sho win, either. The audience gasped as Ren began his climb with Kyoko on his back. She held on tightly, never doubting her own grip. Ren remembered how to find the grips, using them to propel them upwards.
Soon they were halfway up the mountain.
And then they were passing Sho, who looked at them with slack jawed disbelief.
They finally reached the platform with the crowd going wild below them, reaching the ziplines and then finally the finish line. Ren caught her hand and then held it aloft in victory, even while Sho was just managing to crawl onto the summit platform.
"And they've done it! They've really done it! Tsuruga-san and Kyoko-chan, winning a donation to a charity of their choice, with a twenty-percent bonus! Congratulations!"
The smiles on their faces were radiant.
=.=.=.=.=
Lory turned off the TV with a satisfied smile. The showbiz columns in all of today's papers were abuzz with Ren's latest stunt. The boy can't help himself, Lory thought, looking at a picture of the two of them holding each other in the mud, and then another picture of him wiping slime off of Kyoko's face. "Just senpai and kohai?" the caption read. The story continued with a breathless summary of how Ren had scaled 'Slime Mountain' with Kyoko-chan on his back. They were also talking about how mercilessly Sho had treated Mimori, who had also slipped and fallen off the mountain.
It was a good thing Ren had never confirmed or denied his alleged 'relationship' with Kana-san. Lory could already see the stirrings of speculation in the fan forums. With any luck, they'd have the public on their side when they finally decided to date, however far into the future that may be.
Lory leaned back in his chair, congratulating himself on another job well done.
=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=
Note: so…I guess you really can climb a mountain with someone being carried piggyback? Apparently this is how some search-and-rescues are done.
